Author: Paul Silcock

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Ya, It’s Nice to be Back!

Recently I went back to playing hockey.  I felt good enough to play, but since I did have a heart attack after the last time I played hockey, I also felt a little weird about it.

Since I left the hospital back in March, I have had to carry a nitroglycerin spray … just in case.  I haven’t had to use it, but when we got to the bench, I told my son Mike where it was in the dressing room, in the event I might need a little shot.  I just felt it would be good for someone to know where it was.

When I got onto the ice, I found that my skates didn’t fit right.  I don’t understand how a heart attack could affect my feet, but my skates which have fit perfect for the last 18 years put my feet into agonizing pain.  It didn’t matter whether I was on the ice or on the bench, my feet just hurt.  That lasted about 45 minutes before the pain went away.

I’ve never experienced that before, nor have I experienced aching muscles around my hips when I skated before.  But that, too, seemed to be a relatively new change for me.  I feel I have aged over the last seven months.

And then there were all the “mothers” that showed up to play.  It was a little embarrassing.  Every time I came to the bench, someone would ask me how I was feeling.  If I looked out of breath or in a little pain, if I slipped or got bumped by someone, these big guys dressed in full hockey gear got all tender on me and asked, “Are you okay?”  One time I answered back, “Yes, dear” and I don’t think he asked me again.

I also had to get used to a new routine.  Apparently, hockey is kind of hard on one’s heart.  That’s why they have installed defibrillators in all the arenas in the city.  It’s not that hockey isn’t a good way to exercise, but when you go from racing up and down the ice to sitting on the bench, your heart rate rises and drops rapidly.  Well, that’s not ideal.

So, now I have to coast at the end of my shift, or walk a few laps around the bench before I sit down.  Let me tell you, that gets a few looks and comments from the other guys.

But in the end, I felt good that I got that first game under my belt.  It was great to be on the ice again.  Hockey has been the last thing I’ve returned to after my heart attack.  Now I’m back participating in everything I used to do.  I just do it at a slower pace, I think.  But maybe that will get better too.

Here’s the thing:  When we get off track with God in some way – whether it is sin in our life, or just a drifting away from Him – coming back to God may seem a little awkward, not as natural as it did before.  It may mean trying something different or new, or changing something in you life.  But coming back to God, seeking His forgiveness, knowing you are right with Him, feels good.

It gives you a peace, a comfort, a knowing you’re in the right spot, that you’re in a good place … you feel like you’re back where you should be.

Until Next Time!

Pastor Paul

Question:  What has caused you to feel distant from God?  What keeps you from moving closer to Him?  Leave your comment below.

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Live vs. Prerecorded

This week I attended a conference on leadership.  It was the annual Global Leadership Summit that Willow Creek Church puts on.

Years ago if you were to attend this conference you had to travel to Chicago to be there in person.  Then they made it easier for people by having simulcast sites all over North America so you could still attend the conference “live”, in your home town, or at least close to where you lived.

I’ve done both in the past, and though being there live is kind of special and you get the real feel of the conference, I have become pretty comfortable watching the speaker on a screen.

What helped was realizing that even when I was in Chicago, because the auditorium was so big, I found myself watching the screens there.  You could see the speakers better that way.  So being somewhere else watching a screen wasn’t a difficult adjustment – at least you knew it was happening in present time.

Now this conference has taken things to a new level.  Not only do you not have to be in Chicago for the conference, but now you don’t even have to attend when the conference is taking place.

I attended this week, but the conference actually took place and was recorded in the middle of August.  This week, Bill Hybels (the host speaker) was probably speaking some other message, somewhere on the other side of the world, while we were taking in the conference like it was happening live.

The host sites do a good job, though, of keeping it fresh, and “live-like”.  We had a live band to lead us in some songs and a live host, who lead us to the all important refreshments at break times.

But we were also encouraged to respond to things like it was happening live.  For instance, at the end of a message, the audience in Chicago (back in August) all clapped.  We were encouraged to do the same, but our clapping was pretty feeble, since we were only clapping to a screen.

At the very end of the conference, Bill Hybels challenged everyone to pray and give our all to making the local church the hope of the world.  He asked us to pray a set prayer for the next 30 days, and if we agreed to do it, to sign the card the prayer was on … and to do it in the presence of a witness.

And that is when any sense of it being live fell apart for me.  He said “If you don’t have someone who will witness you signing your prayer card, I will be up here at the front and would be happy to witness it for you.”  I looked, and I hung around at the front for a moment; Bill wasn’t there.  He was in Chicago, or Zimbabwe, or some place else.

Here’s the thing:  I’m good at pretending something is live when it has really been recorded.  For the most part, I don’t miss the live action.  God, however, is live all the time, 24/7.  When I want to respond or need a response, with God I’m never left hanging around, waiting for someone who’s not there to show up.  I never want to take for granted how much better my live God is.

Until Next Time!

Pastor Paul

Question:  How often do you take advantage of God being live, 24/7? Leave your comment below.

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Mystery Phone Calls

The other day I had a phone message, but I didn’t recognize the name.  My secretary said he asked for me by name and seemed to know me.

I went to my office and hesitated making the call, not being sure what this person may want from me.  Instead, I made another call, just to warm up to the idea of returning this message.  It didn’t help.  I again looked at the message, to try to figure out who this person might be, and how I might know him.  I decided to give it a shot; I made the call.

Some people answer the phone and start talking like you know them, and if you don’t immediately make it clear that you have no clue who they are, the phone call becomes awkward.

It’s agony when that happens. You strain to pick up on any tip the person may drop as they talk.  About a month ago, I was five minutes into a conversation before I figured out who I was talking to.  During that time I thought it was one person and then I thought it was someone else.  When I eventually figured it out, what the guy was saying finally made sense.  I was sweating on the other end of the line.

Thankfully, this guy didn’t leave me hanging.  He could tell I didn’t have the slightest idea who he was and asked, “You don’t know who I am, do you?”  When I said “no”, he gave me some context to place him in.

I had played shinny hockey with him years ago. In fact, except for one game of hockey he played with me about a year ago, I probably haven’t seen him in about 5 years.  Let’s just say he hadn’t been in my circle of associates for a long time, and I had only known him by his first name.  He phoned me because he knew I was a pastor and thought maybe he could talk some things over with me.

The guys I regularly play shinny hockey with all know that I’m a pastor.  Somehow it comes out.  When they find out, their language usually changes for a while, and when they slip up they usually apologize … at first.

Even though I’ve been playing hockey with some of these guys for years and years, not often am I asked for anything other than a pass on the ice.  This call was pretty unusual, especially given the fact we had been out of touch for so long.

We talked about setting up a time to meet and then ended the conversation.  When I hung up the phone, I just sat in my chair for a moment, thinking about how that guy came to call me at this particular time in his life.

Here’s the thing:  What we do today may not seem like it makes much difference.  In fact, one day may not make much difference.  But over a long time, being genuine to those around you may trigger something in someone, years from now, in their time of need.  That’s when being a consistent Christian example before them will make a difference.  God reminded me this week, through this phone call, that the testimony of my life has no expiry date attached to it.  So, I need to keep living a life God can use.

Until Next Time!

Pastor Paul

Question: How has your life, your testimony, your example made a difference years later?  Leave your comment below.

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Late Night Banking

It was late on a Sunday night, around 10 pm when I arrived at the bank machine to deposit a check.  It was dark; the parking lot was wet from a light rain; there was no one around – not another car in the parking lot.  I went into the bank, deposited the check, withdrew $120, got my receipt and left.

There weren’t many cars on the road; there wasn’t much open.  It was kind of a nice drive.  I had the music in the car cranked, yet it was peaceful.  I had other errands to make, but it was so enjoyable with empty streets and I was getting all the lights.

On my way home, when I got to the last set of lights before my house, for some reason a thought came into my head.  At the bank, I remembered getting a receipt for depositing the money and taking a receipt for the cash I withdrew.  But I didn’t remember taking the cash.

In an instant my quiet, calm peaceful drive turned into panic.  I drove past my turn and put the gas pedal down.  I was about 7 minutes away from that cash machine and I was imagining someone arriving right then to find my bank’s slot machine (I mean, bank machine) had just cashed out, and they won.

I started praying, “Lord, I know there is almost no chance of this happening, but would you keep that money safe for me?”  My mind went back and forth from “maybe it will be there” to “there’s not a chance on the planet that money will still be there”.

The car was moving fast – faster than it should have been moving – but I had no control over it.  I was just trying to steer the vehicle and glad that the streets were clear.  There may have been the odd car that thought I must have had a pregnant wife who was about to deliver her baby, but I went by so fast they couldn’t even tell if there was someone else in the car or not.

I turned at a set of lights, all four tires barely on the road, then made a quick left up to the parking lot.  At first it looked clear but then I saw a car parked outside the bank and my heart sank.

For sure there had been others who had been to the bank.  After all, it had been a half hour since I made that withdrawal.  I screeched up to bank, got out in a flash and went inside the doors.  I looked at the machine . . . no money.  My heart sank, but its not like I  hadn’t pictured it this way.

I turned and went out the door.  That’s when the window of the car parked outside rolled down and a guy called out, “Are you missing some money?”  I said, “Ya, I left $120 in the machine.”  He hopped out of his car and said, “I have it here.”  I thanked and thanked him.  He simply said, “I hope someone would do the same for me.”  I couldn’t believe it.  It was a miracle.

Here’s the thing:  I prayed and asked God to keep the money safe for me, and even though I wasn’t sure He would do it, He even got someone to mind the money for me till I got there.  This reminds me that there is nothing I can’t pray about, nothing that God will refuse me of if I seek Him, even when I have my doubts.

Until Next Time!

Pastor Paul

Question:  When has doubt kept you from praying and asking God?

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Being Ready on Time

A while ago, Lily and I had a function we needed to be dressed up for.  I worked around the house in the morning, and wasn’t ready to go anywhere.  Lily, on the other hand, had already been out a couple of times that morning.

At lunch we made a plan to get out the door in 20 minutes.  Lily said, “I’m ready.  I just have to get changed, and I know what I’m wearing.”  Me?  Well, I still had to shower, shave, and I hadn’t thought of what I was going to wear.

Getting up from the table we both got busy.  By the time I finished my shower and was on to shaving, I heard a disturbing announcement.  The words were “this outfit isn’t going to work”.

I ignored the comment and kept going; I had a deadline to meet.  When I finished in the bathroom, it appeared that Lily had already tried on and rejected a couple of outfits.  I went straight to the closet, looked in, saw my blue suit and made my choice.  Lily was still deciding what to wear.

Given how we started, how was she panicking and I was right on schedule?  I think I figured it out.  It’s our approach to clothes.

When I looked in the closet and saw my blue suit, the only decision I had to make was which shirt to wear with it.  I have three:  a white one which was in the wash, a blue one which was not really appropriate for the occasion, and a grey one which would work just fine. It was that simple for me.

However, when Lily goes to the closet she sees individual pieces of clothing.  She has to determine which pieces might go together and look the best, kind of like choosing to purchase a new outfit.  She’s had the same clothes in her closet for some time and used them in different combinations, yet still she doesn’t think of what has worked before.  It’s a brand new outfit she is looking for!

I think that’s why there are so many women’s clothing stores in shopping malls.  Women are so used to looking for brand new outfits at home, the store becomes an extension of their home closet.

My solution would be to make an outfit playbook, like they have in football.  You lay out the outfits on the bed or put them on and take pictures of all the combinations.  Then, print them out and put them on your wrist band for easy access in making the call.  You just pick the combo that looks best to you given how you feel and how the defense is shaping up.

In the end, Lily found a combination that worked well and we made it to the function on time.  (I can’t help but point out that, despite how we started, I was still waiting at the front door for her – not that unusual.)

Here’s the thing:  We’re going to get ready for God.  Some will get ready quickly and some will take some time to figure it out.  But we will all get ready to meet God one day. I want to be sure that I’m fully dressed when the time comes and not caught still deciding about Him.  That will be one function I don’t want to be unprepared for.

Until Next Time!

Pastor Paul

Question:  If you stood before God today, and He said to you, “Why should I let you into my heaven?”  What would you say?

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Maybe “Jersey Shore” is on to Something

I have never really been into fitness, though I have always exercised in some fashion.  You see, I don’t like lifting weights or doing aerobic exercises.  You wouldn’t find me taking out a gym membership or dressing in tight clothes, wearing a head band, moving in front of a TV, and following an instructor who has way too much energy and enthusiasm for one person.

I’d rather play hockey, ride my bike on trails, or have my golf clubs with me when I go for a walk.  In fact, if there is some kind of game associated with an exercise, there’s a good chance that I would enjoy it.

But for the last two weeks, and at least for the next 14, you can picture me in those tight fitting exercise clothes (please don’t) doing some movements, or pumping iron, or going for power walks without golf clubs on my back.  That’s right, I’m a fitness guy now.

It’s not that I want to be a fitness guy, but the cardiac rehab clinic is trying its hardest to turn me into one.  Every day I have to go for a power walk, as well as either do an aerobic workout or weight training.  They give me Sundays off … small comfort.

I haven’t even met with the nutritionist yet, but when I do at the end of the month, I’m sure she’ll slap me with a few dietary restrictions that will officially turn me into a nuts and berries kind of guy.  She just better not pull meat from my diet!  (I don’t consider it a meal if it doesn’t include meat.)

Thankfully, when I exercise in a way that I enjoy – like playing hockey or mountain biking – I can count that.  That’s why on Saturday, instead of doing my thirty minute aerobic exercise, and going for a thirty minute power walk, I went for a two hour bike ride through the woods near our house.  I listened to tunes playing through my ear buds, took in the amazing view of the coloured leaves, and negotiated the slippery, leaf covered trails.  It was an awesome ride!

With everything I’m being instructed to do in a day, I’m starting to feel like I’m on the reality show “Jersey Shore”.  A typical day for Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is GTL which stands for Gym, Tan, Laundry.  He doesn’t have much time for anything else in his day.  I’m beginning to feel the same way!

I know in time I will fit these new things into my daily pattern of life and they won’t feel as forced as they do right now.

Here’s the Thing:  This past Sunday, I spoke about giving control of one’s life to the Holy Spirit.  It has to be something I give myself to on a continual basis or I’ll take back control.  In order for the Holy Spirit to influence my thoughts, words, decisions and actions, I have to allow Him to be in control every day.

That means I have to make some adjustments in life to allow Him room to direct.  That’s not easy.  It means other things might need to be eliminated, or at very least rearranged.  It takes a while to discipline oneself to accommodate those changes, but in time, being controlled by the Holy Spirit will not seem forced.  Rather, it will be my natural pattern of life.

Until Next Time!

Pastor Paul

Question:  What needs to change in your daily routine to allow the Holy Spirit control? Leave your comment below.

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Turn Your Toil Into Joy

Yesterday I had to work late on my sermon.  It was Friday; I like to be done my sermon by 5 pm but it was obvious that was not going to happen.

Every week that Sunday deadline stares me in the face; it’s always on my mind.  Some weeks things go well.  I do a little work on my message each day so that the task is broken down.  Monday mornings I make notes on the passage and from commentaries.  Tuesdays, I read supportive material and start to formulate the main idea of the passage.  Wednesdays, I try to create the outline with supportive scripture.  Thursdays, I write a draft of the message.

These days I’ve been dictating that draft. Its an amazing thing, I speak and my computer types the words.  My wife Lily always laughs when I dictate because the program gets some words wrong … like the other day, when I said, “Because the word…” and the program typed “Because Al Gore.”

I’m not sure what Al Gore had to do with my message – it had nothing to do with saving the planet’s environment!  On the other hand, my sermon did have to do with saving people ON the planet.

Fridays, I edit my message, prepare the media presentation and internet support.  This Friday by 4 pm, I had not even started to write the sermon.  It had been a very difficult week, with many interruptions and meetings.

At 4 pm I was tired, and frustrated because focus had been an issue all week for me.  I was not looking forward to spending all evening writing a sermon.  But as I was checking a reference for something, I ran into a quote that struck me.

The quote was from Samuel Chadwick a Methodist preacher. “The one concern of the devil is to keep Christians from praying.  He fears nothing from prayerless studies, prayerless work, and prayerless religion.  He laughs at our toil, mocks at our wisdom, but trembles when we pray.”

I had just finished praying when I read that, asking God to help me get my sermon done quickly.  But something struck me in that quote; it was the part about Satan laughing at our toil.  My sermon writing felt like toil to me right then.  I was not excited about writing it; I just wanted to be done.

After pondering the quote for a moment, I began to pray again.  This time I asked God to give me a passion for my writing.  I asked Him to fill me with excitement and enthusiasm for what I would put down.  I asked Him to give me joy in writing my message, no matter how long it took.  I asked Him to fill me up with the message He wanted me to bring to my congregation.  I prayed, “Lord, don’t let Satan laugh at the work I am doing.”

The Lord answered my prayer, keeping me focussed and moving ahead as I dictated. He filled my mind with thoughts and words and illustrations.  It was a pleasure to write that message, and I finished before 8 pm.

Here’s the thing:  When we are struggling with something, no matter what it is, it’s always a good thing to pray.  Keep in mind that Satan would love to keep you toiling and prayerless.  Do the opposite.  Pray and watch God make your work a joy.

Until Next Time!

Pastor Paul

Question: What do you do when you find your task is more toil than joy?  Leave your comments below.

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A Little More Silence, Please!

When I’m studying for a message, the conditions have to be just right.  I wish I was one of those people who could study in any environment – you know, with noise all around, people talking, radio playing, TV blaring – yet seem to be in a quiet zone in their head.

I’ve heard of pastors who study in coffee shops.  That would never work for me … I don’t drink coffee.  Actually, the main reason is I’d get nothing done.  All it would take is for me to look up from my computer and see someone at the counter and I would be distracted.  I’d start wondering what he did for a living, be fascinated at why she picked out that particular outfit, or create a scenario in my mind about that person’s day so far.  Then I would look back at my computer and realize I had drifted from my work for about ten minutes.

What I need is quiet, with as few distractions as possible.  I’ve been known to get distracted by something as small as a piece of lint floating past my computer screen.  If I hear others talking, I want to be part of the conversation.  It takes all my will power not to get up and go and join them.

I have to be in a quiet mood to study, like early in the morning.  It’s then that my mind is not filled with competing thoughts, and tasks.  I can focus on what I’m doing and nothing else.  That’s why I get up early and do my devotions.  It’s quieter in the morning and my mind is quieter.

When that mood gets disrupted, however, it’s game over for me; I might as well pack it in.  My efforts will be wasted, my productivity will plummet, and I’ll start to get all frustrated.  Friday was like that because I had a doctor’s appointment at 9:45 am.

(Oh, I didn’t mention, Friday is the day I finalize my sermon.  If I don’t get it done on Friday, I’ll be working on it on Saturday, my day off … and my wife Lily is not a fan of that!)

When I returned to work after my appointment, the church was a zoo.  Teens were arriving for a youth event on their PA day (I wish I got a few PA days).  It was noisy and distracting, with people in my office, and teens talking, yelling, and running outside my office.  It’s not that I mind it when all that happens.  I like the interaction; I like all the action; I just don’t get anything done.  I thought maybe I should just pack up and go on the “Amazing Race” youth event with them.

They left – finally – and it was quiet, except for my mind – it was racing.  I got back to my sermon but it was slow going after that.  It was past dinner time, when I gave up, packed it in and decided to finish in the morning.

Here’s the thing:  There are so many competing thoughts, appointments, conversations, details, tasks in our day, that it’s difficult to find time to focus on God.  Sometimes it’s best to pack it in and try again tomorrow.  What would be optimal is finding, or rather carving out, some time in your day when you and God will not have to compete with other things.

Until Next Time!

Pastor Paul

Question:  When do you find is the best time to be quiet with God?

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Anyone Need Their Grass Cut?

Sometimes you start a simple task or job and it grows into something bigger. I have certainly experienced this at times in my life.

One time we had a water leak in our vacation trailer.  I decided to see if I could fix it myself.  I checked and found the problem needed to be fixed from the outside, which meant peeling off the metal shell at the front of the trailer.  I started at the bottom and noticed the problem extended a little higher so I took off the next strip, then the next, and the next.  When I had the whole front of the trailer removed, with just the wood frame left in place, I stepped back and thought, “What have I done?!”  It was way more work than I had thought.

Another time we had a leak in our basement.  I thought I would dig a hole outside and patch the foundation where the leak was.  In the end, the hole I dug was over 5 feet deep and about 12 feet long.  Again, that job got way bigger than I had first thought!

Reading about those two experiences, you might think they weren’t that bad, and that I must be a handy guy.  That’s where you would be VERY wrong!  I’m not that handy, and for all the handy work I have done, I don’t really like it.  It takes me too long; I don’t have the right tools; I make mistakes; I get frustrated; I get discouraged; I cut myself (another story).

Recently, we were at our cottage on a rainy weekend, when we happened to get a break from the rain for a few hours.  I decided I’d better take the opportunity to cut the grass since we wouldn’t be back for a few weeks.

It’s such a small piece of lawn that the job really doesn’t take much time.  But, as I was running the lawnmower over our grass, I thought about my brother’s lawn.  He had left his cottage a few hours earlier in the rain and I had noticed that his lawn needed a cut.

Since he’s up at his cottage almost every weekend and often cuts our grass (because we don’t get there all that frequently), I thought it was my chance to return the favour.  So, when I finished our lawn, I walked over to his place and started to cut his grass.

As I got close to finishing, I started to think about my brother’s neighbour who’s wife had just had surgery and was in intensive care at the hospital.  I thought, “That guy doesn’t need to be bothered with his lawn”.  So, as I finished with my brother’s lawn, I just kept going and worked on his neighbour’s.

As I walked back to my place pushing my lawnmower, I realized this was one of the few times a job that got bigger didn’t become frustrating or discouraging.  In fact, I walked with a sense of satisfaction that I had, in some small way, been a help to others.

Here’s the thing:  One of the greatest ways we can show the love of God to others is not by telling them but by showing them.  The problem is it takes time and, for many of us, time is precious.  We don’t have a lot of extra time to allow the task or job we are working on to become any bigger.  But sometimes that is exactly how we are to “love one another as I have loved you” John 13:34.

Until Next Time!

Pastor Paul

Question: What kind of “loving one another” acts have you done recently?

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Let’s Drop the Label Already!

This past week I enrolled in a cardiac rehab clinic.  After having a heart attack in February, and wanting to get back to playing hockey this fall, I thought it would be a good idea.  I want to make sure I don’t have another heart attack … well, at least be aware of all the risks and preventions associated with heart attacks and hockey.

As I talk to medical people, however, I get a little discouraged with their language.  They always refer to me as having heart disease.  I have a hard time with that term “disease” because it sounds like it’s something you carry with you in your body.  I would much prefer to think that I had a heart attack and now I am better, thanks very much.  Let’s not dwell on it, let’s not rub it in, or make me feel like I am in some weakened condition.

There was a time long ago when people who were diseased were kept away from others.  In Bible times, if they did happen to get close to people, those with leprosy had to call out “unclean, unclean”.  At least no one’s making me do that.

People don’t even mind me shaking their hands.  From my best guess, I don’t think I’m passing on heart disease when I touch them … although my neighbour had bypass surgery about three weeks after I had my heart attack.  Maybe there’s something on my street that’s catching.

Before my heat attack I used to just check the “no” boxes on medical information forms, driver’s license renewals and insurance forms.  Now I have to check some “yes” boxes, and that’s a little upsetting.  It’s like the disease never lets you forget and move on.

I remember years ago a friend of mine  had an issue with gluten in his diet, and for a while, had to avoid eating anything with gluten in it.  I called him diseased during that time.  I even had a made up name for it, “glu-tone-eous disease.”  I still went to lunch with him, though I did make fun of him having to eat his Big Mac without the bun.  I thought it was pretty funny back then, but now that I have a disease associated with me, I’m feeling a little more sympathetic.

Probably my biggest concern with being associated with heart disease is that some people, specifically those in the medical profession, will always consider me as diseased.  It’s a label I’m going to have to live with the rest of my life.

But do me a favour, don’t spread it around.  I don’t want people crossing to the other side of the street when they see me coming.

Here’s the thing:  We get many labels attached to us in life.  Some of those labels we like, but some we don’t want to be stuck with.  Sometimes we try to fight the labels placed on us and sometimes we try to hide from being associated with them.  I think that being labeled “believer in Christ” can, at times, be difficult, but it is a label we should wear with pride.  Christ is, after all, Creator of this amazing world, Saviour of this sinful world, and the Lord of my life.  It’s a label I don’t want to shake.

Until Next Time!

Pastor Paul

Question: How do you view being labeled a “Christian” or “believer in Christ”?  Leave your comment below.