my emotions

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Encouragement That’s Simple Yet Profound

Everyone needs a little encouragement sometimes. If we go too long without it, we can begin to lose confidence, or feel unappreciated, or generally down.

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There are those who seek encouragement and, at very least, they get attention. When they were children they were the ones who would always say, “Look at me; look at me”, and it was cute to see the new trick they had learned to perform.

When those same people get older, it’s not so cute. When someone’s in their twenties or thirties and are still calling people to take notice of them, it’s just annoying.

It’s not that we don’t want people to notice us, it’s just that we’ve matured to the point where we don’t crave attention and we prefer to be noticed without our solicitation.

It’s really not encouragement when we’ve had to ask for it.

Timing is also important in receiving encouragement. It doesn’t work if it’s not related to something that is going on in your life. It’s important to have close proximity between the encouragement and what you’re being encouraged about.

Telling someone they would be great at something they have no interest in or aptitude for doesn’t really work. In fact, you need both of those – interest and aptitude – for encouragement to work.

I remember when my son was figuring out what he would take in high school. When he listed off his courses, I said, “You should take French because you have a real aptitude for it.”

He just looked at me like I was a stranger he’d never laid eyes on before, then looked back at his mother to continue to list his subjects as if I was no longer in the room.

He did have an aptitude for it; he just didn’t have any interest in taking it. Therefore, my comment was not taken as an encouragement to him in any way.

At least now – ten years later – he recognizes me as his father again!

Unsolicited, close proximity, and resonating with our interests and aptitude – this is the script for a great encouragement.

And the other day, I got one! It was 9:14 Saturday night. I was relaxing, and just finishing watching a movie before heading to bed.

The text read, “Praying for you, Paul … have an amazing time with God tomorrow morning!!”

The next morning I was going to be preaching at our church. To know someone was praying for me in advance of that was a huge encouragement to me. It really picked me up.

I looked for a name but there was only a phone number and not one I recognized. This same person had also texted me something similar back in February.

That was it. It probably took about twenty seconds to type, but it was a big encouragement to me.

My reply was simply, “Thanks”.  And that’s what I was – thankful.

Here’s the thing:  It was a person who texted me that encouragement, but I knew who was behind it. God knew I needed an encouragement right then, before I preached the next day. He prompted that person to pray and encourage me. I thought about trying to figure out who had texted, but I got an overwhelming sense that I should just leave it and take the encouragement as anonymous. God will bring you encouragement when you need it most. Look for it to come in any shape or form.

That’s life!

Paul

Question: How have you been surprisingly encouraged? You can leave your comment below.

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How To Find Inspiration When You’ve Lost Interest

My interest in the Stanley Cup playoffs has just dropped dramatically. I enjoy watching hockey but when you hate . . . well, “hate” is a strong word . . . “extremely dislike to the fullest extent” captures my emotions on this one . . . all the teams, you lose interest fast.

 

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We are about to enter the semi-finals and I don’t want any of the teams to win.

What I mean is that in every previous series I wanted the other team to win . . . except in the case of Montreal and Boston, and in that series I wanted both teams to lose.

Maybe they should make that possible in the Cup finals.

They could take a pole amongst the TV viewers and if two teams were really disliked by enough fans they both would get punted. Then the league could bring in a team that didn’t make the playoffs as a wild card.

They do that kind of thing on those reality shows and I believe it works quite well. It’s like giving another chance to a fan favourite that didn’t do so well in competition. Maybe that’s the only way the Leafs might make the playoffs again.

If I was a gambler, I’d be the worst gambler in the entire world. You see, I make my picks based on who I like, not necessarily on which team is better. This method is just slightly better than picking teams based on the colour or logo on the team’s jersey.

I know I should be happy there is still a Canadian team in the playoffs, but if the Parti Québécois  had have won re-election, would they really be a Canadian team?

I’m still a little suspect because the first game of the semi’s is in Montreal and is being played at 1 pm.

Hockey Night In Canada is supposed to be at night; it’s in the name. But those American networks love showing hockey games in the middle of the afternoon. I wonder if they will just sing the American national anthem too.

My big dilemma now is how do I program my red light. I have it mounted just above my TV and it goes off when a goal is scored for my team. I don’t have a “my team” left in the playoffs.

I have to pick a team or two, or maybe the best thing would be to turn my light off until the fall and save the batteries.

Maybe what I should do is take suggestions. Like a reality show, readers can comment on what team(s) they think I should program into my light and the team(s) with the most votes gets to sound off in my house every time they score.

Who knows? Maybe I can pick a winner that way.

Here’s the thing: Have you ever lost interest in doing your devotions, or in reading a particular book in the Bible?  You are not alone; it happens to everyone at some time when your Bible reading is dry and spending time with God is even dryer.  Often we pack it in for a while until something comes along to get us inspired again.  Well, don’t wait for new inspiration to come along.  Change things up; start reading a different book of the Bible, change what you pray, choose a different place to spend your time with God. Get inspired again.

That’s Life

Paul

Question: Send me your vote for the team I should program my light to for the remainder of the playoffs. Leave your vote in the comments below.

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Why Fans Aren’t Worth Much – Part 2

In my last blog (click to read), I compared sports fans to recycle trash. Team owners and players consider fans to be more valuable than trash, but not much more.

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Just like we treat recycle items a little better than regular garbage, fans are treated likewise. The bottom line, however, is they’re still trash.

Some of you have been wondering when I was going to show my colours and now’s the time.  I’ve been a Toronto Maple Leaf fan for most of my life. I grew up in Toronto, so the team is engrained deep within me.

I was 11 years old when Toronto last won the Stanley cup in 1967. I’ll be 58 this year.

My kids, now in their 20’s, have never witnessed the Leafs win the cup. They’ve never seen them win the conference finals. But they have observed the Leafs missing the playoffs 12 times in the past 25 years. That’s half the time if you’re counting (excluding the 04/05 lock out year).

Last year the Leafs made the playoffs for the first time in 8 years. They did great, almost dumping the future Stanley Cup champions to the curb in the first round.

Fans had high hopes, and were in full support of this team. This year looked promising; the team was solid. They were playoff-bound right through until after the Olympic break.

There have been a couple of injuries since then that have hurt them, but that’s not the real problem. Sure Reimer let in 19 goals in five games, but Bernier has let in 12 in the last 3 games. Goaltending is not the issue.

The problem is morale. The Leafs are not playing like they did before the break. There’s no urgency in their game. No desire to win. They have no drive to make the playoffs this year.

What there is is a great deal of unrest in that organization right now. How this unrest surfaces is in treating the fans like they are recycle garbage.

While the team is fighting it out amongst each other or with the coaches in the dressing room, every night on the ice they are just taking the blue box to the curb for pick up the next morning.

Toronto should be the cleanest city in the world; they have the garbage picked up about three times a week!

Someone needs to shake everyone in that organization and get them looking at what’s really important. It’s not who’s being treated poorly, or who’s right or wrong. It’s the fans! Treat them like they belong in the house and not in a recycle bin on the side of the street!

Someone on the team needs to say, “Let’s give these fans what they want. Let’s forget our beefs while we are on the ice. Let’s remember the fans are still supporting us, the product.”

You don’t put the Cheerios box in the recycle bin when there are still Cheerios in it. The team needs to rally around the fans for the fans. Sports fans are the team’s most valuable resource.

My beef and my rant is about my team the Toronto Maple Leafs. But listen, your team is just one internal argument away from treating you as recycle trash, too.

Here’s the thing: When our morale is low, often we treat God like recycle trash. We ignore Him to focus on our issues. We blame Him for the state we are in. Instead, seek His support and encouragement and help. God is your most valuable resource.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How can you make God your most valuable resource?

I’d love to hear from you; you can leave a comment below.

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How To Transition To A New Season

We’re into October and it’s time for me to transition into the new season. Some of you are thinking, “Great. He’s finally recognizing the leaves are changing and that it’s fall.”

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That might be the transition some people make. They put the fall decorations around the house, get the rake out to bag the leaves, and start thinking of pumpkins and of the colours brown, yellow and orange.

But that’s not the transition to the new season I’m referring to. For me, the transition is going from biking and golf season to hockey season. And with that, I guess you could say, there comes some decorations.

One thing that I have to do is ditch the bike rack, and the clubs from the trunk, put the hockey sticks in my car and make room for my equipment bag.

But not so fast. I’m having a hard time making the transition to the new season. I still want to bike, and there may be a few more rounds of golf left in my clubs.

I have to admit I have some urges to make the transition. Every time I drive past the arena I think, “Boy, it’s time I get those blades out and hit the ice.” But I still am hesitant.

I just don’t want to put my bike away yet. I realize that there are fewer and fewer opportunities to mountain bike. It rains more at this time of year. It gets darker sooner. It’s getting cooler.

Also, making the transition will mean I have to lug my equipment out to the car and back into the house. I’ll have to put up with the annoyance of hearing “That equipment stinks!” from one unnamed person in the house (it doesn’t really smell).

I think what might put me over the edge to make the changeover is going a week without being able to bike, or finding there is not enough light to see the trails.

I know it’s just a matter of time, but I want to ease into it. Maybe I will play hockey once a week just to get my feet wet (or frozen, in this case). I’ll keep biking but I’ll play a little hockey as well.

I’m going to slowly make the transition … like when you go swimming in a lake, and slowly walk out into the deeper water, allowing your body time to adjust to the cooler temperatures. Lake Huron, where we swim, is like that – you can go a long way out before you have to go all the way under.

Once I’m in, it’s all good; I can stay in. I will have made the transition; I won’t be pining away for my bike or golf clubs. And I’ll enjoy the new season … until it’s time to transition again.

Here’s the thing: When God wants to change something in us, we often resist that change. We’re comfortable and don’t want to change. If we focus on the good or the blessings that change will bring – instead of the loss of what we have – we will slowly let God work that new change into our lives and let go of that thing we’re hanging on to.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you found to be a difficult transition to make? Leave your comment below.

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Getting Out of a Bad Cycle

Have you ever noticed how one bad thing sometimes seems to be a catalyst for other bad things? Some people say bad things happen in three’s, but that’s just superstitious – “touch wood” (just kidding!).

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Seriously though, since I’ve come back from my vacation, I’ve been engulfed in this phenomenon of experiencing one bad thing after another. Enough already! And with each bad thing that’s happened, my mood has darkened a little more.

Ever felt that way? You want it all to stop, but like they say in social media circles, “it’s trending”. What adds to the discouragement is how difficult it is to change the trend. It seems like you need some kind of emotional pick-me-up to snap you out of the downward spiral.

I remember watching volleyball in college – that was a prime example of how one bad thing is a catalyst for another. I don’t want to pick on volleyball players as being more moody that other athletes (well, maybe I do), but that sport seems to exemplify it more than most.

When a team would hit a great spike for a point, its players would roar with enthusiasm and give each other high fives, even hugs. That would pump them up and they seemed to play better.

While that was happening, the other team would make more mistakes and seemed to have a hard time doing anything right. Then, at some point, they would manage to block a spike and get the serve back. Their players would get all charged up about it, congratulating each other.

Then the momentum would change, the trailing team would play better, and the first team would start making mistakes. It wasn’t because they lost their ability or skill; it was all in their minds or emotions.

When we get down or discouraged, when one bad thing happens after another, we tend to make mental errors in judgement, or emotional reactions, which lead to more bad things.

We can react to something bad rather than respond to that bad thing. When you react, you let your emotions lead the way or you make an error in judgement. But when you respond, you look at the desired outcome and follow through with that goal in mind.

I would like to say that I am really good at responding rather than reacting, but let me tell you, I’ve done my fair share of reacting over the years.

This past week there have been about six bad things that I could have easily reacted to and probably, as a result, caused several more bad things to happen.

… On second thought, I have done some reacting … but only to myself in the car by getting all upset with the drivers on the road. What I need is a great block or spike to turn things around!

Here’s the thing: To break the “bad” cycle, you can mope around until something good happens, but that might take a long time. A better choice is to turn to God, make a list of all the good things God had done and is doing in your life, and begin to praise and worship Him for it. You will find your mood brightens and you can let go of the bad and rejoice in God’s goodness. It worked for King David in the Psalms; it’ll work for you.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How have you gotten yourself out of a “bad” cycle? Leave your comment below.

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Vacation Pain

“Back to the salt mines.” One of my buddies used to say that after noon hockey. He didn’t actually work in a salt mine, but he did have to go back to work. I guess after playing shinny, the idea of work seemed unpleasant.

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If you are someone who works in a salt mine, I’m not saying your work is hard and undesirable; it’s just an expression.

So, if a guy feels that way after an hour or so of hockey, how is one supposed to feel going back to work after a month of vacation? It’s not like my church has a secret tunnel in the basement that leads to large rooms of white crystal rock that I have to break apart all day.

But I do have some apprehensions going back after vacation. In any line of work, there are things you look forward to and things you don’t, things you enjoy doing and things you don’t.

Your work can be 90% enjoyable, invigorating, motivating and a few other desirable “atings”, but it’s that smaller percentage that weighs you down and has you wishing the vacation isn’t coming to an end.

So, at the end of vacation, you develop a little schizophrenia: part of you can’t wait to get back and another part of you wants to put on the brakes and stay where you are.

What happens is you start to act differently. You don’t have the same relaxed, carefree attitude you had a few days earlier. You go to the beach, but you don’t chill at the beach; you begin to strategize.

The water becomes your goals that are so hard to take hold of, the sand is like time that slips through your fingers and the people lying on the beach become the steps to how you will get to the water before the sand runs out.

You try to savour your last days of vacation, but your wife looks at you while you stare off in the distance and says, “See, he’s already back at work.”

There is no way to get back to the “chilaxed” zone you were in only a matter of days before. A switch has been turned on and it doesn’t matter how hot the sun is and how good it feels to sit under your beach umbrella sipping a Dr. Pepper, digging your feet in the sand, as you read or catch a few winks. You are there, but not really there.

Instead, you are sitting in your office sorting the mail that piled up, trying to make headway on hundreds of emails, all while getting back into the rhythm of your work.

Then you wake up, take a sip of your pop, wipe the drool from the corner of your mouth, glance at the people walking along the beach, and get back to reading your book. It was all a dream, a big scary dream. You still have 3 days of vacation left to enjoy.

Here’s the thing: Like the burden of work that overcomes us at the end of vacation, the burdens of sin, shame or self doubt can weigh us down even after we’ve confessed them. But God wants to take those burdens from us. We have to figure out how we can off-load those burdens to Him and not take them back.

That’s life!

Paul

Question: What is the hardest thing to come back to after your vacation?  Leave your comment below.

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Sunday Morning Blues

There is something about a rainy day that makes us lazy. I wonder if there is some kind of chemical that reacts with the air and then is released in an invisible form. We then breath it in and get lethargic.

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It’s Sunday morning, I’m on vacation, but it’s raining. You know, one of those days where the clouds aren’t going anywhere, and if the rain stops falling from the sky, it’s only for a short twenty minute coffee break before it’s back to that constant dripping from the heavens.

Before I was really awake, I’m sure I was breathing in that invisible mist that got me thinking negatively about the day. I started thinking that maybe I wouldn’t bother going to church. Ya, maybe just take it easy and sit around the cottage doing nothing. That seemed attractive for a while.

… Until I started thinking of what that would entail. It would mean I could stay in my sweats a little longer, look out the window at the rain and complain about what a crappy day it was.

When I thought about it, it didn’t sound all that fun. I guess if I drank coffee and never got a chance to read, I might look forward to a dull, overcast, drizzly kind of day. I could sip a big mug of coffee and curl up in a big sweater or afghan and read some fluffy novel.

But then I would not only have to love coffee, I would also have to be female! Most guys would just mope or find something in the basement to fix or tinker with, all the while complaining at how crummy the day was.

I’m not sure what it was … it could have been that my pillow acted like a gas mask and prevented the air-born, mood-altering drug from entering my system … but I actually started to think rationally.

It was then that I thought I needed to make this day count for something.  I should go to church. I should go to church because it’s an opportunity to praise God and hear something from the Bible that I could apply to my life.

Hey, on a day like this, all gloomy and damp, I should go to church because I’m doing nothing else anyway. Why would I stay home and do nothing when I have a standing invitation to show up with other people and be challenged in my relationship with God?

At the very least, if the rest of the day would be spent watching someone else drink coffee and read a novel, at least for an hour or so I could get some relief from that.

I might later be able to go to the beach, or play golf, or go on some kind of excursion, but now I could recoup a small portion of the day and get some positive spiritual input for my weary soul.

Here’s the thing: It really doesn’t take all that much to get us to excuse ourselves from doing something, just to do nothing. We don’t feel any better doing it, it doesn’t make the day more enjoyable, but it does prevent us from gaining something spiritual that we might not get otherwise. … I’m getting my crew going this morning and we’re off to church.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What tempts you, more than anything else, to excuse yourself from church? Leave your comment below.

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My Replacement Blog

It’s not easy writing these blogs, you know. Sure, it’s only 500 to 600 words; some people can speak that many words in a minute or two. But it’s not the actual writing that’s difficult.

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I remember when I was a kid. To write 500 words was a death sentence! It’s only a page of words, but when I was young I didn’t have that much to say. Plus, I’m a male and we can say lots with just a look on our face or a few non-intelligible sounds.

The tough thing about writing is the critiquing of what I write. Today I wrote a killer blog.  I thought it was one of my best, so I was anxious for someone to read it. I kept asking my wife, “Have you read it yet?”

I think my asking got her more intrigued with it, so she finally got on her computer and took a look. Everything was going well for the first 3 paragraphs. And then she stopped.

“You can’t write about that.” she said. I replied, “Keep reading”, thinking that maybe when she digested the whole blog she would have a change of mind. But after every paragraph she would stop and say the same thing.

Now, I don’t mind when she says, “Your grammar was really bad on that one” or “the punctuation needs some work.”  I don’t even mind when she says, “You should rephrase that.”  She has great ideas some times. After all, she does all the editing for my blog site.

The thing that I do mind, the thing that is tough to hear, is the content can’t be published. I spent some quality time writing my blog today and when I was finished I was proud of my work.

But now no one is going to read it. I wish I could publish it, and share it with others, but because it’s about a close family member, I’ve been instructed to keep it in the vault.

I ran into this problem several years ago when my kids became teenagers. I used to use illustrations in my sermons that were about things my kids did, or experienced. When they were young they loved hearing me tell stories about them.

But for some reason, by the time they hit about 12 or 13, I was finding that I needed to ask for permission if I was going to speak about them in church. Eventually, I thought it best to just leave them out of it. So for many years they have been missing from my sermon content.

Maybe they’re happy about it. Maybe they don’t do or say things that are as “preachable” as they did when they were kids. But one thing is for sure, censorship doesn’t just revolve around the CRTC (Canadian Radio & Television Commission).

Most of you would have liked my blog. You would have laughed, and been concerned. Some of you, who know my family well, would have had some follow up questions that you really needed answers to.

But unfortunately, you won’t get a change to read it. So just forget I mentioned my killer blog that I can’t publish. This will have to do as a replacement.

Here’s the thing: Sometimes we want to do things that God doesn’t want us to do. He doesn’t force us, but if we continue, we might cause harm to ourselves or others. We can be stubborn and do it anyway, but the benefits of listening to God’s wisdom may save us a lot of heartache.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How have you benefitted by not doing something you really wanted to do?  Leave your comment below.

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Me and Yogurt Don’t Mix

I’m not a yogurt lover but I might have to give it a try. I have probably tasted yogurt but it probably was because of some kind of mix up. I’m sure that someone has slipped it into a dessert I’ve eaten, or mixed some into their baking and, being unaware, I’ve digested it. I certainly haven’t tried it on purpose.

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Yogurt is not my kind of edible substance. I don’t call it “food” because that would legitimize this creamy white substance that millions of other people lap up like cream.

Yogurt has never been something I thought anyone should intentionally put into their mouth. There are two reasons for my objection and they are very simple:  “bacteria” and “cultures”.

There are all kinds of ointments, pills, prescriptions to counter bacteria that we are infected with. Why would I deliberately put bacteria in my mouth … unless I was 2 years old, at the end of my driveway, with a craving to taste the dirt on the street.

Parents go running when they see their child about to chomp down on some gritty dirt. They scoop it out of their kid’s mouth and repeatedly wash it out … but then think nothing of giving their child a “Yoplait” for their afternoon snack!

And what about “cultures”? I’ve taken a few science classes back in the day, and I’ve seen cultures growing in a petrie dish before. That is one nasty scene after a few days and there is no way I want to inflict that on my stomach. I would have to eat hot wings for three straight days to burn those cultures out of me!

Though hot wings for three straight days sounds quite appealing to me, I don’t think my wife Lily could eat wings for three days in a row.

The whole reason I am considering giving yogurt a try is because of guilt. I spoke with a guy recently who had a quintuple bypass. He told me he loved ice cream but that it’s an artery clogging nightmare. He found that yogurt gives him his ice cream fix with none of the nasty cholesterol-induced gunk in his veins.

After hearing how liberated he seems with a little yogurt in his diet, I started feeling guilty that I had had a one scoop Baskin Robbins “Rocky Road” on a sugar cone the other day.

So maybe I should try it, though I don’t think I’m going to like it. I certainly don’t like the look of it. It’s the wrong consistency for me, though I really enjoy a nice chocolate pudding with peanuts every now and again.

I figure yogurt is the same consistency as pablum. And when I see babies eat their food, they get it all over their faces, like they will try anything to keep that stuff out of their mouths! I may be a little over the top on this one, but I don’t think I’ll like the taste.

Here’s the thing: There are experiences and opportunities in life that we reject and disregard because they are not what we think we would enjoy or find fulfilling or interesting. But God may be putting that very thing in your way to get you to try something that will lead you where He wants you to go. Don’t shy away from trying something new or exploring something different.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you find difficult to swallow?  Leave your comment below.

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The Health Risks of Cheering

For health reasons, maybe the Toronto Maple Leafs shouldn’t make the playoffs more than every nine years. That’s how long it’s been since the last time my stress level went off the scale.

Frankly, I had forgotten what it was like to watch a playoff game in which I really – and I mean really – cared about the outcome. For almost a decade I never really got too excited in the playoffs because I didn’t really care which team won.

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This year is different. I care, and I had forgotten just how much I cared until the series began. Unfortunately, my wife and I decided to take a week’s holiday in the US during the first five games of the playoffs.

The US usually does everything big: their stores are bigger than in Canada; their restaurants serve larger portions; their cities, for the most part, seem larger. But when it comes to hockey, it takes a backseat to basketball and baseball.

To be fair, NBC has done a great job of covering the playoffs so far. Their motto has been “every night, every game” … but not the Leafs! They were on CNBC, whatever that is. All I know is that our hotel room didn’t get that channel and neither did the places we went to look for the games.

By the time we returned to Canada, I had missed the first 4 games of the series, and the fifth game was being played while we were driving home. When we crossed the border, we checked for radio stations that might cover the game.

We finally found one but it was competing with a station that was airing a talk show in another language. I could barely make out that the Leafs scored to make it 2 – 0. I immediately pressed harder on the gas pedal believing that any police officer would understand my urgency to get home.

I got home with 10 minutes left in the game. There was no unloading the car, no unpacking – it was straight to the TV!

I was so stressed for the last half of the period that I couldn’t sit down. I paced back and forth in our family room, watching, holding my breath, screaming at the players on the TV to get the puck out of their end.

I thought I was going to have a heart attack, and I know what that feels like so I had my Nitro ready in my back pocket just in case. Well, we won and that set the stage for game 6.

This time I was home for the whole game. I was able to sit, but there was no talking, no distractions, just rocking back and forth on the edge of my chair. The only calming effect was the pizza and Dr. Pepper.

The Leafs played a great game and won, which brought the series down to one last game in Boston. It was do or die tonight. After a promising 4-1 lead, a loss in overtime has left me a little shaken. If there are no more blogs after this one, you’ll know the Nitro didn’t work.

Here’s the thing: Much of what we get stressed about is over in flash and has no lasting effect on us. Eternity, on the other hand, is something worth stressing over if we are not ready for it … because the effects are forever.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What thing or event causes you the most emotional stress? Leave your comment below.