my experiences

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We Avoid What We Don’t Want To Face

There are things we avoid because we don’t like them. Sometimes we are reminded of why we don’t like them. 

we avoid what we don't want to face

There are certain things I try to avoid in life. Eating select vegetables and watching sappy movies immediately come to mind. 

Sometimes just saying no is enough. But there are times when you have to go out of your way to avoid what you don’t like. When confronted with an afternoon of shopping at an outlet mall for instance, you might have to fake a bad knee to get out of it. 

There are other times you can’t avoid the things you don’t like; you just have to face them. For instance, going to the dentist. It’s not on anyone’s favourites list, but you have to go at least once or twice a year.

One thing I’ve consistently avoided at the dentist is having freezing. It’s not like I have perfect teeth; in fact I have a mouth full of fillings. But there are two reasons why I avoid freezing. 

First, I don’t like needles. I go to great lengths to avoid getting a needle if I can. Second, I hate freezing for the way it makes my face feel. I have, therefore, avoided any freezing at the dentist. 

I can’t remember the last time I had freezing. Well, actually I can because I had freezing this week.

I had to have a back molar pulled. It had had a crown on it, but the root cracked. I finally agreed to get it taken out and get an implant put in. 

My dentist said right off the bat that he would need to freeze me for the extraction. I didn’t question him. I figured it would be rather painful.

So I got all frozen up. I mean the whole side of my face, from just below my eye, felt numb. Oh and my tongue – for hours it was a useless piece of flappy muscle. I really don’t like the feeling.

And freezing stays with you for a while. I had a dinner meeting that night and I was still frozen. The worst part of it was that I couldn’t tell if I had food on my face. I had to ask the guys I was with if my face had leftovers on it.

It’s not a good scenario when you’re talking away and people are staring at you. They are actually likely staring at the drool that has started out of the corner of your mouth and is making a slow descent down to the bottom of your chin. 

But when you’re frozen you have no clue! You merrily go about your business while they just stare at you. It’s like they’ve placed bets on how long it will take to drip off your chin. No one wants to tell you in case you wipe it away and then all bets are off.

Fortunately for me, I was not drooling uncontrollably and by midway through my meeting the freezing wore off.

I finally stopped sounding like Marlon Brando in the Godfather.

Here’s the thing: You can avoid dealing with the sin in your life. You can pretend that it’s no big deal. You can rationalize it. Or you can claim everyone else does it. But there will come a time when you have to face Jesus with it. You can’t get out of it. So it is far better to deal with your sin now and confess it before Him than it is to wait until He confronts you with it. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What thing do you really try to avoid? Leave your questions and comments below.

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When You Know Life And Purpose Have Aligned

From time to time I post an article from the past. This blog post is from November of 2013. I hope you enjoy.

when you know life and purpose have aligned

There is a sweetness when our life and purpose align. When life and purpose come together, there is something special that’s hard to put into words.

Its an amazing feeling like being by a fireplace, sipping your favourite beverage and listening to good music – can you imagine that feeling?

This week Lily and I were at our District Pastors’ Retreat. Once a year, the pastors in our denomination get together in each district for a couple of days to be renewed and refreshed together. We go to be preached to, challenged, encouraged and sent out again. 

It’s sort of for us, what we do each week of the year for others.  Lily and I look forward to these times together, and even view the drive to the retreat as special. 

This year, it was just a little different. Lily and I went to prayer retreat with our daughter. Now, I think she was at one retreat when she was about 5 or 6 months old, but this year she came as a pastor.

It’s pretty special to have your daughter join you as a colleague, and not just your daughter, at a special work related event. She was there as a fellow worker in ministry!

Along with all my peers and pastor friends was my daughter, as one of them. She didn’t come as my child, but as a co-worker.

Every time I introduced her, I felt a sense of pride – a thankful pride. I had this warmth deep within me that spread to every part of my insides. And even though there was a sense that Karlie was now invading my territory, it was in a good way, a welcoming way.

It wasn’t all good though. There were some things about having our daughter along that didn’t make our pastors’ retreat easy for me. I think it started on our trip up. When we stopped for dinner, I was talked into eating a “wrappy pita thingy” … lots of lettuce, not much meat. 

Our afternoon of strolling through the town of Huntsville didn’t really work for me. The shopping trip into town was against me. Now there were two people who wanted to shop in stores I had no interest in.  

I couldn’t even hurry Lily up because she had a partner who also wanted to stay longer. I ended up by myself at the chocolate store. And I think I soothed my woes by purchasing a little more candy that I should have.

On the other hand, I didn’t feel so bad leaving my wife to shop in some Christmas store; she had Karlie to keep her company.

There was this “two against one” thing going on the whole retreat – I caved on a lot of things. Still the pride in my heart and the warmth in my spirit made it all worth it.

Here’s the thing: Think of God creating you with a purpose, then watching you grow and develop. He sees you choose right and wrong along the way, and cringes a little when you make some decisions to go in ways that lead you away from His purpose. Then He watches how you turn, or begin to get on the path of what He has created you for. Finally, God surveys life and purpose align with you serving Him, working alongside Him in the purpose He created you for. Well, I know how God feels. He’s proud of His creation!

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you wish for your children? Leave your comment below.

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“I Only Do It Once” – Famous Last Words

I only do it once, but that’s not going to happen this year.

I only do it once - famous last words

I was away for the first four days of the week. And when I returned home there was a beautiful blanket of leaves covering my front lawn. 

It’s that time of year when the leaves on our maple tree turn amazing shades of yellow and orange. It’s also the time when those said leaves start to fall off the tree. 

It was a beautiful sight seeing those leaves when we got home. But I knew I needed to get them into a bag while they were still lying peacefully in one place.

My neighbours would appreciate me cleaning up my leaves so that they don’t have to. Not that they would clean up my lawn for me, but when the wind starts blowing, I lose ownership of those leaves. 

Though they came from my tree, they become the property of my neighbours when they get blown by the wind into their shrubs and back yards. 

… In some ways, the best thing I could do for myself is leave them alone. If I left the leaves long enough, I wouldn’t have any to pick up. 

That thinking, however, wouldn’t make me all that popular on the street. So this afternoon I have to get moving and warm up my leaf blower.

What I use is actually a leaf “mulcher” but that, apparently, is not a word so you just have to picture what I do.

The machine has a wide scoop of a nozzle that sucks up the leaves. They then pass through a series of blades and end up in a bag which collects the fragmented leaves.

Usually I clean up my leaves on one day, just once a year. But this year the front yard is covered and I can’t ignore them, even though there are still plenty more on the tree that I’ll have to deal with another day.

Right now there are so many leaves on the ground that I could gather them up into a high enough pile that I could jump into them.

… I’m not going to do that. You can picture me doing it if you want to, but I’m not going to make up a word for it either. 

Today there is no wind. I’m sure my neighbours are hoping I will take advantage of the stillness to save them from cleaning up after my tree droppings. 

There are a number of things I only like to do once, like swapping out my summer tires for winter ones, or switching out golf clubs for hockey sticks in the truck of my car. 

Another one of those one-and-done things for me is gathering up the leaves off my lawn. It should be a once-a-season chore only. 

But this year, this year it’s going to be a two-day affair for me. 

Here’s the thing: Jesus came to earth, lived, then died for the sins of everyone. It was a one time sacrifice, a one time act. You would think that everyone would eagerly, willingly and immediately get in on Jesus’ sacrifice and all at once the world would be saved. But not everyone is ready to get in on this forgiveness of their sins. Thankfully, God is patient and, although we should immediately receive Jesus’ sacrifice for our sins, God waits for us to be ready. It should be once and done, but our patient God delays Jesus’ return for us. My advice: don’t test His patience. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you need to do right now? Leave your comments and questions below.

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Great Intentions Will Get You Nowhere

I had great intentions this morning. I knew what I was going to do first … well, maybe not first. First I take some personal time with God and then I play hockey on Saturday mornings.

great intentions will get you nowhere

It was after that that I intended to write out a list of things I wanted to do today.

That was the catalyst for my great intentions.

Hockey was over at 8:30 am but I just finished writing out my list at 1:15 pm. No, it didn’t take me that long to write out my list. I just didn’t get to it. … So much for great intentions.

Other things consumed my time, like deciding to listen to music while I ate breakfast. 

I had issues trying to connect my phone with the speaker in the kitchen, but rather than just listen to the music from my phone’s speakers, I chose to solve the issue with the speaker in the kitchen.

In the process I listened to a lot of music on my phone before I got my kitchen speaker set up … and burned through a good deal of time. 

Then I checked my email on my phone, which sent me on a rabbit trail, that took me to facebook and a lot of scrolling. 

Before I knew it, I was feeling a little peckish, so I rustled up some lunch, which usually means reheating a leftover meal from earlier in the week. 

We had one meal in the fridge so that worked out for me. I also got wings out of the freezer for my dinner later, so I was all set for meals.

It was time to make that list. 

And when I make a list of things I need or want to get done, there is always more on that list than I had originally thought of in my head. 

Today my list is kind of long … not too long for a 9-in-the-morning list, but rather long for a starting-after-1-pm list.

What really messed me up was that I didn’t make my list until the afternoon. Somehow my brain thinks that when the list is made, then I have my instructions for the day. Until I make that list, I’m free-wheeling on whatever comes into my mind to do that minute. 

That’s just how my mind works. 

I remember years ago taking a Myers Briggs temperament evaluation. Along with the four letters that indicated what each particular temperament was, there was a prayer that went along with it. 

One of the prayers went something like, “God help me to keep my mind on one thi … Oh look, it’s a bird.”

For some reason I need a dock or a post to chain my mind to. For me, a list is that post or dock that keeps me focussed. 

I’m hoping my list will tie down my brain to the things I want to do today.

Here’s the thing: Our great intentions don’t mean anything unless we actually get to them. That is true with God as well. You might have great intentions to follow Him one day, but intentions won’t make that happen. You might have great intentions to forgive a person, or to clean up some part of your life. Great intentions won’t do it for you. You have to get at it and start. What are you waiting for?

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What’s your great intention and what are you going to do about it? Leave your comments and questions below.

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My Fine Motor Skills Are Definitely Lacking

I’ve determined that my fine motor skills are not what they should be.

my fine motor skills are definitely lacking

It’s not as though I can’t work a pen or pencil, although, if you’ve seen some of my writing, you might call that into question. 

When my son was little and watching me journal, he asked me a very thoughtful question. He said, “Daddy why are you scribbling?”  

I told him I wasn’t, that I was writing, to which he rebutted “you are scribbling”. 

So maybe I can’t wield a pen or pencil like other people. 

I get along just fine doing most things. My hands work well: I can type, hold a baseball and catch a ball in my hand. I have no trouble holding or using a hockey stick … though my thumb is a little sore after a collision playing hockey this morning. But when it comes to more intricate moves, maybe I am lacking. 

If you do something enough times you get the hang of it. And that should also be true when using your hands.

For instance, no matter how uncoordinated you are, if you practice tying your shoelaces enough times, you will get pretty good at it. … I’m glad to say that I have mastered that fine motor skill and I don’t think I even needed any remedial help with it. 

But there are a few things that I just can’t seem to master. One of them is a video game joystick. 

Maybe you have to be born after 1980 to use one. I can never get my thumbs and fingers doing the right things at the right time. 

I was not much into video games but when my son was just starting out, we would play hockey on his Nintendo. 

… Well, that lasted about a month. 

We started off about equal but within a matter of weeks he had surpassed my skill level and never looked back. 

Any time after that when he’d challenge me to play with him, I just smiled and said I was not in the mood. It was really because my fingers don’t work that well.

But there is one more thing that really bugs me and that is playing the guitar. I can practice the same thing over and over and never seem to get past a certain stage. 

There is a little lick I’ve been trying to master for literally half a year. It is a couple of chords and then a solo part. I’ve played it over and over but I can’t get it to sound like it fits. 

And my fingers on my right hand refuse to cooperate with my pick in my left hand. 

I’ve practiced that bit way more than I ever practiced learning to tie my shoelaces. But if I had had this much trouble mastering my shoelaces, I would have switched to velcro straps instead.

Maybe you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

Here’s the thing: We all have limitations; there are things we just can’t master or figure out. But there is a God who has created this whole world, who has never fretted one moment about accomplishing any of it. He is worth trusting your life to and depending on when you’ve reached your limitations. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you find hard to master? Leave your comments and questions below.

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Perception Can Either Be Right Or Completely Off

When people have a certain, inaccurate perception of you, it’s really great to prove them wrong. 

perception can either be right or completely off

We form perceptions of people all the time. When we first meet or see someone, we instantly have a perception of them.

We secretly determine what their personality is like or how smart they are. We size them up – are they funny, serious, intriguing or boring? 

And we do all this in a matter of seconds.

Every once in a while my wife, Lily, and I will do some people watching. It makes for some good entertainment, especially if we are just sitting around, like in the food court of a mall.

We might notice a couple talking at the entrance of a store across the way. I’ll give Lily a rundown of their possible conversation. My story will include what the couple are talking about, whether they are arguing or agreeing with each other. 

Sometimes I will provide accents for the two people or what their voices sound like.

Our perceptions are not always right … likely more wrong than right. It doesn’t matter because this all happens before we have met them.

It is one thing to have a perception of someone you are meeting for the first time. It’s a totally different thing to have a perception of someone you have known for years and years … like about 40 years.

That’s what I ran into this weekend. 

Our daughter, Karlie, has just taken training in FST. You probably have no clue what that is – most people don’t. It stands for Fascial Stretch Therapy. 

… And it has nothing to do with the face. 

It does have to do with the most prevalent connective tissue in your body.

Your fascia supports every aspect of movement – muscles, tendons, organs, ligaments and nerves.

FST can increase your flexibility, reduce aches and pains, and improve range of motion. A person trained in FST basically stretches you during a session. 

Well, Karlie has recently started treating clients and loves to improve her skills as much as possible. (You can check out her instagram pics here.)

… So who better to practice on when you are home for Thanksgiving than your family?! 

Let’s just say there was a lot of stretching that happened this past weekend. 

But then there was me – the only one who hadn’t been stretched. 

The perception of the family was that I would be very tight and that my flexibility and range of motion would be dismal. 

I guess all the disparaging talk and the perception of my physical condition got to me. I had Karlie stretch me. 

Ha, turns out their perception was wrong! I am way more flexible and have way more range of motion than both my wife and son. 

So much for perception.

Here’s the thing: Many people have perceptions of God. Their perception is based on things they have heard and people they’ve listened to. Some people form their perception based on something that happened to them. They make up a scenario of God’s involvement in that incident. But these are all perceptions and they may be wrong. To know what God is like, you have to meet Him and have experience with Him. You can start to meet Him by reading the Bible, and have experience with Him by talking with Him (prayer). The more you do these things, the more you will discover what God is really like.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What perception do you have that needs to either be proved true or busted? Leave your comments and questions below.

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The Phone Call You Hesitate Returning

I got a phone call from someone who said he knew me but I couldn’t place him. I didn’t even recognize the name. 

the phone call you hesitate returning

So I hesitated making the call, not being sure what this person may want from me.  Instead, I made another call, just to warm up to the idea of returning this message.  

It didn’t help.  

I again looked at the message, to try to figure out who this person might be, and how I might know him. Then I decided to give it a shot; I made the call.   

Some people answer the phone and start talking like you know them, and if you don’t immediately make it clear that you have no clue who they are, the phone call becomes awkward.  

It’s agony when that happens. 

You strain to pick up on any tip the person may drop as they talk.  About a month ago, I was five minutes into a conversation before I figured out who I was talking to.  

During that time I thought it was one person and then I thought it was someone else.

When I eventually figured it out, what the guy was saying finally made sense.  I was sweating on the other end of the line. 

Thankfully, this guy didn’t leave me hanging.  

He could tell I didn’t have the slightest idea who he was and asked, “You don’t know who I am, do you?”  When I said “no”, he gave me some context to place him in.

I had played shinny hockey with him years ago. 

In fact, except for one game of hockey he played with me about a year ago, I probably haven’t seen him in about 5 years.  

Let’s just say he hadn’t been in my circle of associates for a long time, and I had only known him by his first name.  He phoned me because he knew I was a pastor and thought maybe he could talk some things over with me.

The guys I regularly play shinny hockey with all know that I’m a pastor.  Somehow it comes out.  When they find out, their language usually changes for a while, and when they slip up they usually apologize … at first.  

Even though I’ve been playing hockey with some of these guys for years and years, not often am I asked for anything other than a pass on the ice.  

This call was pretty unusual, especially given the fact we had been out of touch for so long. 

We talked about setting up a time to meet and then ended the conversation.  When I hung up the phone, I just sat in my chair for a moment, thinking about how that guy came to call me at this particular time in his life.

Here’s the thing:  What we do today may not seem like it makes much difference.  In fact, one day may not make much difference.  But over a long time, being genuine to those around you may trigger something in someone, years from now, in their time of need.  That’s when being a consistent Christian example before them will make a difference.  God reminded me, through this phone call, that the testimony of my life has no expiry date attached to it.  So, I need to keep living a life God can use.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How has your life, your testimony, your example made a difference years later?  Leave your comment below.

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Writing Things Down Can Ensure Success

Writing things down increases your potential every day. 

writing things down can ensure success

… You might be thinking, “That’s a pretty bold statement. Do you have facts to back it up?” 

Well, no I don’t. 

I suppose I could find some facts that would support my statement at least in part. But I think my own testimony is good enough on this topic.

We rely heavily on our memory and, thankfully, for the most part, our memory is great. 

You don’t have to think about so many things during the day because your memory brings them to the forefront of your mind and you just act on them. 

Your phone number – you don’t have to think about it. Your address – you recite it automatically. You know your co-workers’ names by heart. 

It is amazing how often our memory assists us. 

However, when you have work to accomplish, something you want to put into your memory, or just something you don’t want to forget, writing it down is a better option than relying solely on your memory. 

This is what I have found … 

For all the things I need to accomplish in a day, or things I want to accomplish, if I keep them all in my memory I am more likely not to accomplish everything on my mental list. 

But if I write out a to-do list of the things I have in my mind to accomplish, I have a much greater success rate. 

I’m not sure why that is. Maybe, if it’s only in my mind, it’s not prioritized; it’s simply one of many things that needs to be done. 

I am more apt to think, “I’ll get to it sometime today” … but that sometime may never come.

Writing things down keeps you more focussed. There is something about seeing that task in front of you and crossing it off when it is complete that keeps you locked into the things that are a priority. 

Recently I was having a difficult time staying focussed all day long. I knew what I needed to get done, so I didn’t bother to write anything down. 

And every day that week my work ran out of hours in the day. There were times that I wasn’t productive. Basically I wasted time. 

I had things to do but I figured I still had a bit of time to look into something that was not on my mental agenda. … I never got back to the things I wanted to get done in time to actually get them done. 

When Friday came around I was way behind on what I needed to accomplish. 

So I did two things: first I tidied up my desk – I feel better when my desk is clear. Then I wrote out a list of tasks I needed to get done.

One by one I checked them off my list. I didn’t deviate from my list; I wasn’t even tempted. 

Writing things down gave me the focus and motivation I needed to get all my work done. 

Here’s the thing: When you make a commitment to God, or you believe God wants you to do something, if you just keep that in your memory, you may or may not get around to it. But if you write it down, you will be more likely to follow through on what God is asking of you.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What things do you need to write down today, in order to accomplish them? Leave your comments and questions below.

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Good Technical Support People Make Life Easier

Good technical help is not easy to come by … and it’s not because the skill and know-how are hard to find.

good technical support people make life easier

When you visit another country and they speak a language that you do not, there is definitely a communication barrier. I’ve been to several countries where I didn’t speak the language. I could communicate but it was not very easy.

A few times I have preached with an interpreter and that takes a little getting used to. You need to keep your sentences short and only speak a couple of sentences at a time. Then you just hope that the interpreter is telling the people what you said … and not telling them what he thinks of what you said or how you are dressed. When you didn’t tell a joke but the people laugh at what the interpreter says, you get a little suspicious.

My wife, Lily, and I went to Quebec City for a vacation one year. Fortunately, Lily can speak a little French and she understands more than she can speak. For myself, after bonjour, I’m a little thin on my French. 

In grades seven and eight I learned how to say pen and pencil and a few other words. But that will not get you far, especially if you are trying to order a meal. You won’t find pencil lead or ink on the menu.

I also have the ability to  speak words with a French accent so they sound French. … You should hear me say “dessert”.

But you can’t really communicate effectively with what I have to work with. 

In Quebec I would get off to a great start with my “bonjour” but then when they would say something back to me, I would just look at Lily, sort of like,”Okay, take it from here.”

This week I’ve been trying to switch our church website hosting from one company to another. Basically we are creating a brand new website. The new website will be easier to use and update, but it doesn’t seem to be easy to switch it from the old site.

Part of the difficulty in making the switch is that the technical support people, from each company involved, are speaking a different language. 

On the surface it appears they all communicate in English. But that’s misleading because what they say is very difficult to understand. 

Maybe they are too used to talking to computers and they have lost the art of communicating with humans. Maybe they only know certain phrases and words in English so they stick to the phrases they know. 

I had technical help from three companies: my new website host, my old website host, and my URL name registrar. After a day and a half it seemed like none of them could or were willing to help. They knew the solution but they didn’t communicate it to me in terms that were clear to me. 

I just needed to ask the right questions and listen carefully to their answers. 

Here’s the thing: Some people feel like that with God. They ask God questions or for certain things but they don’t get or understand the answers. The thing is God will communicate to us clearly, but often we are not really listening very well. Listen to God with your eyes, your mind, your heart and your ears. He is speaking clearly to you. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: In what way do you need to improve your listening skills with God? Leave your comments and questions below.

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My Nose Is Giving Me Some Issues Right Now

Excuse me if I’m holding my nose right now. It’s not because of the smell, but it is becoming a common activity for me lately. 

my nose is giving me some issues right now

I remember as a kid holding my nose when my family drove past a farm. In those days we only had four-by-four air conditioning in our car – that was basically all four windows rolled down. Thankfully, we were usually out of range of the farm really fast. 

This summer on our vacation, Lily and I drove for a good thirty minutes with the smell of manure seeping through the closed vents in our car – it was brutal. We had the air con blasting and the air circulating in the car and not bringing in fresh air. The smell was still pretty strong.

… I think the worst for me, though, was one time when the administrator at the church I was working at got manure for the gardens around the church.

It was pretty fresh manure … too fresh. 

Even though I was an adult at the time, the scent was so strong that I would hold my breath or plug my nose from my car to the church. 

It was amazing that that administrator kept his job! The strong odour lasted for weeks and the students I was working with at the time were very vocal about it. 

The good thing was that the kids ran into the church for our programs. There was no lingering outside. They came straight in.

A rotten odour is usually what you think of when you see someone holding their nose. But that has nothing to do with why I’ve been holding my nose lately. 

It seems that every year at this time, and another time in the winter, I am prone to nose bleeds. 

I’ve been having them since my teen years and they come on very suddenly and unexpectedly. I had my share of nose bleeds from being hit in the nose, but these bleeds happen at any time for no apparent reason. 

I’ve had two in the last week. Both times my nose started bleeding in the shower. 

On the one hand, there isn’t any mess; it all goes down the drain. But have you ever tried to finish showering with one hand? … And then there is the drying off. 

This morning I had a nose bleed while showering after playing hockey. I wished they had one of those car wash dryers. Then I could have let the wind dry me off.

I am now a master at the one-hand towel manipulation. 

I’m sure I will have a few more bleeds before the end of the fall. My blood pressure is in check, so it’s just something that happens as the seasons change. 

You know some people can tell by the pain in their neck when it is going to rain. Well, I can tell that the season is changing by my leaky nose.

Here’s the thing: No one likes getting a cut or having a nose bleed. Our blood is meant to stay inside us. We need it to live. But Jesus was willing to bleed and die for your and my sins. He bled for us – something we wouldn’t wish on anyone. Be sure you are secure in His salvation by placing your faith in Jesus as the Son of God and your Saviour. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How much would you suffer for someone else? Leave your comments and questions below.

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