my experiences

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Funeral Processional Etiquette Is Needed

From time to time I will repost an article from years past. This article was originally posted March 2013

funeral processional etiquette is needed

Last weekend I took part in a funeral. It all went very well until it came time for the interment. 

Getting to the cemetery meant a twenty minute drive through the city and in the country.   

Only family and close friends attended, while most others opted not to take the drive … probably a good thing because they never would have made it. 

You see, most people don’t follow other cars very well, driving too far behind the person they’re following. 

It’s like they’ve watched too many TV detective shows. They try to follow so the lead car doesn’t know they’re on their tail. 

I once had a person follow me to a destination they had never been to, yet they kept going slower and slower and falling farther and farther behind. 

At first, I slowed down to make sure they wouldn’t lose me, but then they slowed down even more! Finally, I just decided to drive and let them keep up to me. 

They never made it; they got lost and went home.

In a funeral procession, people really need to drive close to the car they’re following, especially through intersections. 

Personally, I like to get close to the car in front of me so the vehicles traveling in the other direction see that I’m part of a procession and don’t T-bone me when the light changes green for them.

Those other drivers on the road can be a real problem. Most of them act like they have no clue what’s going on. 

They see the hearse, the flashing lights, the long line of cars with little flags on their hoods like it’s a diplomatic motorcade, and they STILL try to jump into line like they want to be part of the parade! 

After all, their shopping trip to the mall has been timed down to the last minute. They didn’t calculate running into a funeral procession. 

There was a time when cars pulled over to the side of the road when they came upon a funeral procession – like we’re supposed to do with emergency vehicles. 

But then again, some people are not good at that either. I’m not sure whether people drive without looking around or whether they just don’t understand the unwritten rules of the road. 

When our procession of cars got out of the city, some cars pulled over to the side of the road, and two ladies who were walking stopped and just stood as the line of funeral cars went by. 

But most cars just kept going and even drove around the cars that had pulled over.  These people were both young and old – I know because I looked at them, trying to stare them down! 

We finally made it to the cemetery, with no accidents, and only missing one car. One with several of the family members in it. 

They arrived late because a car cut into the line and then didn’t go through and intersection with the rest of the procession. 

Going home from the cemetery only took about 10 minutes … there were no funeral processions to stop for.

Here’s the thing: In a funeral procession, you need to keep up and others need to pay attention. If you don’t keep up, other cars don’t know there is anything to pay attention to. In your Christian walk you need to keep in step with the Spirit (Galatians 5:25). So that others will pay attention and see a difference.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you find difficult about following someone?  Leave your comment below.

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People Are Lousy Lip Readers For The Most Part

The ability to hear has got to be one of the most important senses people have.

people are lousy lip readers for the most part

… I guess we could have a discussion on which of the five senses is most important. I’m sure we would have some disagreement. 

Some would say that sight is the top sense. Others would say it is taste that’s number one. 

If, before you finished eating breakfast, you already started thinking of what you might enjoy for lunch, well, you may think taste is the top sense.

The truth is all our senses are very important and no one would want to give up any of them. It is our senses that enrich our lives.

Hearing is a sense that is vital in so many ways. 

In fact, hearing is so important you would think we would all have a back up for hearing, just in case something went wrong. 

Truthfully, we are lousy at trying to determine what someone is saying by watching their mouth move. 

When they can’t hear, many people will just nod and pretend that they’ve heard what the other person is saying. In a loud room, people will look interested and nod. They may say something like, “yes” and “that’s right”. 

We’ve all done it, hoping that our response is in line with what the other person said. 

 If we were just better at reading lips, life could be easier.

This week I gave a livestream talk on YouTube. 

One morning a week, I give a reflection on a passage in the Bible, along with some personal thoughts.

The thing about being live is that if something goes wrong with the equipment or the technology or even the sound, you have to deal with it right then. 

The other week my camera fell off the tripod just before I went live (you can read about it here). All people saw was a black screen and heard me saying, “Oh no, what am I going to do now?”

This week, for some reason which I still have not figured out, the sound wasn’t going through. 

Of course I didn’t know it and was talking away to the camera like there was nothing wrong. 

I was getting into my talk when I started to get some text messages to my phone. I ignored the first one, but then I got a second and a third. So I pulled my phone out of my pocket and it started ringing. 

It was my wife, Lily, telling me that no one could hear me. 

Right at that moment I wished people were better lip readers. 

If they were, they never would have skipped a beat. The people watching would have been able to decipher what I was saying and I could have carried on. 

But we are lousy lip readers, so dependent on sound to know what someone is saying.

I typed in the chat section that I would record the talk and upload it later to YouTube (you can watch it here). 

I knew my audience wouldn’t be able to read my lips.

Here’s the thing: We are so programmed in how we hear from God. If He doesn’t use those methods to communicate to us, we don’t hear Him. Be open to hear God speak to you in different ways. In a spiritual way, learn to lip read and don’t miss what God is communicating to you. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How may God have tried to communicate to you in the past but you missed it? Leave your comments and questions below.

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Crisis Reaction Time Is Crucial

You can not prepare for every crisis; sometimes you just have to react. 

crisis reaction time is crucial

The question is, “How well, do you react to a crisis?” 

Certainly some people react swifter and better than others when faced with something that is sudden and unexpected. 

I’ve seen it in hockey where a goalie is prepared for a shot from the point and then just in front of him the puck gets tipped. You can’t prepare for that; you can only react. And how fast that goalie reacts is the difference between the puck ending up in his equipment or the back of the net. 

The other day I was faced with a crisis. 

When COVID first hit, I started live-streaming a devotional to my congregation once a week on Thursday mornings at 8:30 am.

I took a break over the summer, but didn’t get back to doing them until the new year.

I don’t have a studio, so I have to set up for it each week. There are lights, a camera, tripod, iPad and computer all to set up. The set up takes just over a half hour. 

This week I was set up and ready to go one hour and forty-five minutes before I was to go live. 

About forty-five minutes before the devotional I got the streaming software active and set, just waiting for me to hit one button to go live. 

With twenty-five minutes to go, I hit the go live button. With five minutes to go, I switched the scene to a count down and music. 

It was all going perfectly: the picture on the screen was counting down and everything was set to automatically switch to the video feed of me looking into the camera and saying hi.

With under one minute to air, I was standing in my place. And then, all of a sudden, my camera fell from the tripod. 

What? I had forty seconds to air. I went for the camera, got hold of it and promptly put it back on the tripod. 

Everything was good; nothing had unplugged. 

I took a deep breath and counted down, 6, 5, 4, 3 … and then the camera fell off the tripod again! 

I went to grab the camera; this time the power cord had unplugged. 

I was live … the screen was black. I made a few comments like, “Oh no.” I sounded like Mr. Bill from the 70’s Saturday Night Live show. 

I plugged the power cord back in and turned on the camera. Then I swung around to face the camera, but everything was still black. I fiddled with the software in hopes to get the camera to connect again, but it was not happening. 

So quickly I switch my camera source to my laptop’s built-in camera and presto, I was visible. 

I thought it only took about a minute to do all that but looking back at the recording, the screen was dark for about 2 1/2 minutes. 

I need to work on my reaction time in a crisis.

Here’s the thing: What is the first thing you do when you face an unexpected crisis? I will bet that, when your adrenaline is flowing, your reaction is to do something – do something yourself. To lessen my reaction time, I need to first call on God for help and then let Him guide my next moves. I’m sure that most of us need to work on adding God to the beginning of our reaction time. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: At what point in your crisis reaction do you seek God? Leave your comments and questions below.

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Don’t Lose What You Once Learned

They say once you learn something you never lose it, but you may lose some skill.

lose what you once learned

That expression “it’s like riding a bike” is a bit of a misnomer. The expression means that once you learn how to ride a bike, you never forget how. What they don’t say is that you might lose your able to do it well.

Learning to ride a bike takes time. You have to learn how to find your balance on those two wheels. But once you have figured out how to balance yourself on a bike, you will always be able to balance yourself. 

Many people learn to ride a bike as kids, but as they get older they stop riding. Yet no matter how long it’s been since the last time they rode, once they get on a bike again, they still know how to balance themselves. 

This is true with a lot of things.

I learned to drive a standard gear shift in my 20’s, but I probably went twenty years without driving stick shift. 

I remember test driving a car that I was considering buying. It was a standard and I didn’t have any problem knowing what to do with the clutch and the shifting. 

But like that bicycle expression about not forgetting how to ride, but forgetting how to do it well, when I test drove the car, I ground the gears a bit and stalled it once. 

You might remember how to do something, but it doesn’t mean you can still do it with ease.

Last week they lifted the lockdown in our region of the province which meant I could play hockey again. 

Yes, I had to come to the arena dressed in my equipment like a 7 year old (read about that here), but at least I got to play.

It had been six or seven weeks since I had last tied up my skates and hit the ice. That’s not all that long considering some people go ten years in between bike rides … or like me, twenty years in between driving a manual transmission car. 

Six weeks is shorter than most kids’ summer break from school. 

It’s a short enough time to remember some details of the last time I skated.

But let me tell you, in that six weeks, though I didn’t forget how to put on my equip or do up my skates, I certainly lacked something out on the ice. 

My legs didn’t want to move as fast as I remembered them moving six weeks earlier. My shot didn’t seem to be as accurate as it once was. 

And I got out of breath way faster than I did less than two months ago. 

My first game back on the ice felt like I had been off for 4-6 months. 

It was not really “just like riding a bike” … unless you picture the rider weaving all over the road. 

Here’s the thing: In the past year, many or most of us have not been involved in any regular ministry or service to God. Consider getting back to serving in some capacity and, although you haven’t forgotten how to serve, it will take time and perseverance to get your serving back to the level it once was. Don’t neglect serving God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What can you do right now to serve the Lord? Leave your comments and question below. 

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One Drip Has Lead To Many More

One drip at a time, over time, can turn into a lot. I learned that the other day. 

one drip has lead to many more

I took a look out our front door and found an olympic-sized skating rink on our front door step.

Okay, it wasn’t olympic-sized but the ice was thick. Anyone thinking about ice fishing would have no trouble hauling out an auger to drill a good-sized hole. 

I’m expecting to see an ice fishing hut right outside my front door any day now. 

The whole reason I checked was because I am having a package delivered in the next few days and I don’t want a lawsuit on my hands. 

We have always had problems with ice on our front step in winter. The way the house was designed has created the perfect conditions for a pool of ice.

I remember years ago I used to play a computer golf game with a couple of buddies. We got together on Wednesday nights at about 10 pm and called it “League Night”. It was the night we would gather around my computer and play a golf game that had lousy graphics by today’s standards. 

One guy in our group, Charlie, was the luckiest of us all. If I hit the ball in the woods, I would always be behind several trees. Not Charlie. Somehow all the trees would line up on either side of his ball like he had a funnel to the green. 

In fact, we started calling it that. Charlie would hit his ball in the woods and Dave and I would call out, “funnel” because he had a clear shot every time. 

Well, the shape of our roof comes in like a funnel above our front door. The snow and ice naturally gathers there. When the sun melts the snow, it runs into the eavestrough over the door and turns to ice at night … but just keeps building up. 

We have six inch icicles hanging down above our front door. They look like an elaborate security system that I could detonate and drop on unsuspecting intruders.

We have been dealing with the ice on the front walk by sprinkling ice melt on the step. It melts the ice when the temperatures are just below freezing, but when the temperature drops lower, it stops working. 

The only good it does then is make it easier to break up the ice. It kind of works like greasing a pan before you start cooking something like eggs.

This is not an adequate fix because the eavestrough is full of ice. In fact, the ice has built up a good inch and a half over the top of the trough. 

The only way I will be able to solve my problem is to clear the gutters … and unless the temperatures start to rise that will be a long time coming. 

For now, I’m left with chipping the ice away that keeps dripping off the trough one drip at a time. 

Here’s the thing: A lot of time we deal with sin by confessing it. Then the next time we sin, we confess it again. But to adequately deal with our sin, we need to deal with the source of the sin. Acknowledge, confess and run from that.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: In what area of your life do you need to fix the source instead of the results? Leave your comments and questions below.

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Tweak Something To Make It Better

There are several ways you can tweak something – some are bad, but some are good. 

tweak something to make it better

Everyone has tweaked something at some time or other in their life. 

You might have tweaked a muscle … that’s a bad kind of tweak. It’s not really bad, but it is painful. You can still walk around with that sore thigh or calf muscle, but you might have a slight limp for a day or two. 

That’s the other thing about a tweak. When it applies to a muscle, it never lasts too long. In just  a day or two that bicep muscle will feel good again. But at the moment it happens, you grimace, rub your arm and say, “I think I tweaked my bicep a bit.” 

That’s just the way it is. 

Now there is another not so nice tweak I know of. I hesitate to mention it, but I guess I will anyway. 

It happened mostly in school between boys. Every once in a while a guy would come up and grab another guy’s nipple and twist it. They would tweak it and it was painful. But that was what you got for not paying attention or being aware of who was around you.

There is another use of the word, “tweak”, and that is to make something better, or to make perfect something that is already good. 

You might tweak a car engine to make it run a little smoother. You could tweak the design plans for a house to make some dramatic enhancements.

Today I’m in the middle of tweaking my hot sauce. As I’m writing this, it is the Saturday before the Super Bowl so the timing is perfect. 

I wrote about getting a deep fryer not long ago (read about it here) and since then I’ve been working on my sauce. 

The main ingredient is Frank’s Original Hot Sauce, but I can’t divulge the rest. It is fast becoming a family secret. 

I started with reviewing about seven different recipes and whittled it down to three that I thought I would like. Each recipe had about five different ingredients that supplemented the Franks – something I didn’t realize until now.  

I had thought you just dowsed the wings with Frank’s and that was it. 

NO, NO, NO. There is more science behind the perfect sauce than that. 

So I’m on my third attempt to get the sauce just right. Today I will tweak my recipe again. I’m going to add more Frank’s, reduce one ingredient, and add another ingredient. 

The sauce is good; it just needs something more to make it perfect. So I will continue to tweak my recipe until I get it just right. 

I may have to eat a lot of wings before I patent my sauce, but that’s just the price I’ll have to pay.

Here’s the thing: Let me encourage you to tweak your time with God every once in a while. Your quiet time with God may be good, but there will come a time when you need to tweak it to make it even better. If you don’t have a fulfilling time with God right now, don’t just keep doing the same thing. Don’t lose interest. Take some effort and tweak the time you spend with God. Change where or when you meet with Him. Add journaling or a guide. Begin to read through the Bible. Whatever it takes, make the most important time of your day a little more meaningful. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What in your life needs some tweaking right now? Leave your comments and questions below.

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The Third Time Is Not Always A Charm

They say there is a first time for everything, but I say there is a third time for some things.

the third time is not always a charm

What I’m referring to is the mistakes we make. Sometimes we can learn from our mistakes. There are other times when we just keep repeating the same mistake over and over.

If you do something for the first time that ends in failure, you may not want to try that again.

I know of people who had a car accident when they were first learning to drive. They were afraid of repeating their error so they decided not to ever drive again.

I think mistakes are important for us to learn from. They shouldn’t scare us away. We should use our mistakes to make corrections, to change the formula, to improve the process. 

That is why I keep using my garage every day. I don’t park outside the garage; I drive my car inside. 

The reason I tell you this is because the other day I drove my car into my garage door. 

You might be thinking that anyone can make a mistake, but this is not the first time I’ve done it.

This is the third time I’ve driven into my garage and wrecked something.

There is another saying, “third time’s a charm” … well, not when it comes to garage doors, it’s not. 

The first two times were a little different. I had a bike on top of my car both of those times and so I didn’t really hit my garage door but the frame above the door – one time destroying my bike rack and the other time knocking the side view mirror off my car.

This time it didn’t involve my bike, but the bike rack still gets a starring role in the story.

Usually when I come home from work, I hit the garage door button when I turn the corner onto our street. That way the door is almost up by the time I get to my driveway. 

This particular day last week, Lily was shovelling the driveway when I came home and she had the garage door already up. 

So when I hit the button, the door started closing instead of opening. As soon as I saw that, I hit the button again, but that only stopped the door. It didn’t send it back up. 

Meanwhile, I was smiling at Lily as I passed her on the driveway until “BOOM!” … The door was just low enough to catch the top of my bike rack.

I probably would have snuck under the door if the rack had not been there, but the lock on it is jammed and I can’t take it off.  

The accident pushed the bottom panel of the garage door off the track and put a good-sized dent in it. Now the alignment is off and the door doctor says I will have to replace the panel. 

At least we don’t need to replace the whole garage door. 

… And just maybe, after the third time, I’ve learned my lesson.

Here’s the thing: It is good to know that God will forgive you when you sin – even if it’s not the first time you have sinned that way. This doesn’t give you a license to sin, but it does give you hope that your failings can be forgiven even if you haven’t learned from your past mistakes.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What failing do you need to learn from? Leave your comments and questions below.

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I’m A Contradiction And I Don’t Care

Most people are going to think that I’m a contradiction to what I’ve said I believe and practice.

I'm a contradiction and I don't care

But before you get your shirt in a knot, I’ll assure you it has nothing to do with my faith.

There are a lot of things these day that are contradictions. For example, there was Biden’s executive order of wearing a mask on all federal premises and then he was seen on federal premises without a mask. 

I’m a contradiction because I recently wrote four blog posts about a plan for losing weight. And now in this post I’m going to tell you something that seems to go directly against all I wrote in those previous posts.

Adults have this problem of not acting out what they say they believe. Parents will even tell their children, “Do as I say, not as I do.” The reason they say that is because what they are telling their children directly contradicts something that they are doing. 

No wonder, by the time kids reach junior or high school, they no longer believe anything their parents say. To teens, their parents are a contradiction. 

We’ve seen in our society where people condemn the violence that took place at the Capital Building, but then defend the violence of the many protests which took place in US cities during the summer.

We are a complete contradiction. 

So be kind to me when I tell you I just bought a deep fryer. 

That’s right, I wrote about how you can lose that weight you desperately want to get rid of and then I bought a deep fryer. 

It’s like I was saying, “Do this, but I’m going to do something contradictory instead.” 

It seems like I’m a contradiction and not just on the surface. You may be thinking “I’d like to see you get out of this one, you phony.”

Though I admit it seems like I’m a contradiction, I really am not. 

You see, the four posts I wrote about losing weight were not tied to a diet. I didn’t encourage anyone to only eat certain foods. In those posts I was advocating a lifestyle. I was saying this is how you can live your life and lose weight. 

One of the things I do each week is have chicken wings. I didn’t stop eating chicken wings in order to lose weight. I am, however, careful not to eat them too often. 

But I enjoy them and I will enjoy my life. 

Recently, the place where I get my wings each Saturday night (and I only have them once a week) has been closed. I’m not sure they will open up again, but if they do, they were going to start selling fish as well. 

Lily is highly allergic to fish, so it was looking like the end of getting wings there any way … best wings in town, by the way.

So I thought I would try to make my own wings. There is no difference in ordering wings from a restaurant once a week or making them myself once a week. 

No contradiction. 

By the way, they were delicious. … Now I’ve just got to perfect my hot sauce recipe. 

Here’s the thing: There are some people who say that the Bible is filled with contradictions. That is as good a reason as any for them not to believe the Bible. But the truth is, if you take a deep and closer look into what the Bible really does say, you will find that the seeming contradictions are not there at all. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What might be some contradictions you are living with now? And what will you do about them? Leave your comments and questions below.

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To Be Wanted Is A Really Good Feeling

Everyone has a desire to be wanted; it makes us feel loved. And it doesn’t take much for us to feel appreciated or loved or even wanted. A simply gesture will do. 

To be wanted is a really good feeling

When I was growing up, when all our friends lined up and two captains picked teams, as long as we were not the last one picked, we felt wanted. 

If we were picked first, second or third, we had an even greater bond with our captain. He wanted us; we were important to his team.

There was even a sense that he liked us.

Every dad or mom knows that feeling when their child sees them after a time away and runs into their arms screaming, “Daddy!” or “Mommy!” 

Even if that time away has only been an eight hour work day, or even an hour long shopping trip, in that situation, as they wrap their little arms tightly around your neck and yell their excitement to see you, about a quarter of an inch from your ear, you know, you feel it, you love the feeling of being wanted, being loved. 

In a work environment, when you get called in to be told you are getting a promotion or given more responsibility, or just a pat on the back because of the work you are doing, you feel wanted, like you are important to your company and to your boss.

Dogs are great at making us feel wanted. They follow you around; they just want to be with you. They are glad to see you when you come home. They stay close to your side. They invite you to play with them. 

They make you feel wanted, loved. 

So the other day, I had this weird and funny thing happen. I entered the garage and got into my car to go to work. I turned it on, backed it out of the garage and stopped to record my mileage for the previous day. 

Then I hit the garage door button, put my car in reverse and backed onto the street.

I looked back at the garage door to make sure it was closing and, just as I went to put the car in drive, I noticed something. 

The garage door was inches from being closed but there was a basketball rolling slowly down the driveway towards my car. 

I laughed, but my first thought was, “Look, that basketball doesn’t want me to leave. It’s like it’s saying, ‘Wait for me; let me come too.’”

In the weirdest way I felt wanted by that basketball. I laughed as I hit the garage door button again and got out of my car. 

I scooped up my basketball in my hands and gave it a few loving bounces as I walked back up the driveway. Then I took a couple of shots at the hoop – just to be playful – and put the ball back in the garage. 

I couldn’t get the smile off my face. 

Can you be wanted by an inanimate object?

Here’s the thing: God created this world, and the fact that you are alive is a sign that you are wanted. Even if you don’t feel wanted by anyone else, you are wanted by God. In fact, God wants you so badly that He sent His Son, Jesus, to come after us. He did that by going to the cross to pay for our sins. That’s how much you are wanted by God. … So how are you going to respond to being wanted?

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you normally respond when you are wanted? Leave your comments and questions below.

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Packed Up For Another Year

Well, its that time of year that everything gets packed up again.

packed up for another year

It started yesterday in our home, three days after the new year. 

There have been years when the packing didn’t start until a week into the year, but there are other factors at play this time. The bottom line is if Christmas doesn’t get packed up now, it will be weeks before there is an opportunity to get at it again.

I have to admit that I’m not the main packer in our home. My wife, Lily, takes the lead and the bulk of the job. I’m just there for a little grunt work and some moral support – and I’m a little light on the moral support, to be truthful.

We don’t have tons of storage in our house, so the fact that Lily has skill and lots of experience in packing is a good thing. 

I’ve helped move a lot of people in my day and people have very different ideas of packing. 

I’ve arrived at people’s houses to help them move and their place looks like everything is still in its place. They think they are ready to go, while I wonder if they have ever heard of boxes. Please pack your stuff in boxes before I get there!

Our son pulled that once. Though, to be fair, he’d never moved before. Lily asked him if he was pretty much packed up. He assured her that his apartment was all ready to load into the van. 

I liked hearing those words. But when we arrived, you would have thought he was just getting settled into the place. 

Well, he knows now what getting packed up is all about and for his last move he was ready.

But Lily is a master packer. The proof was in our move from Edmonton to Kingston. She had about 100 uniformed boxes, just the perfect size for carrying. Light ones could be stacked and carried. Heavier boxes were not too heavy for one person. 

The day we moved into our Kingston home, she stood in the doorway as our helpers brought the boxes in. She looked at the number she had marked on the box, looked at her master sheet and directed them to the exact room where the box was to go. 

Packing up Christmas is no different in our house. Some of those same boxes she used 25 years ago are still the off-season home for decorations, ornaments and trimmings.

It’s a lot of work. I couldn’t do it like she does, but it has to get done now. She is running out to time. 

Our daughter and son-in-law are moving to a new place in less than two weeks and guess what? Lily has been hired to help them get packed up for their move. 

I haven’t seen the contract yet, but I’m sure the payment will be time spent with Karlie and Matt. 

Here’s the thing: What state are your affairs in right now? If your time was up, are you packed and ready to go? Would you have everything in your life in order, ready to meet God? Or would there be a mess that still needs to be cleaned up? It will be too late at that point. Be sure that your life is in order now, so that you are ready when the time comes.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What needs to be packed up in your life right now? Leave your comments and questions below.

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