my experiences

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Linger Longer To Impact Relationships More

I think we need to linger more in order to enrich our lives. 

linger longer to impact relationships more

When I grew up playing hockey, my routine was to get into the dressing room late. I would have just enough time to put on my equipment and get onto the ice. At the end of the game, I would do the reverse. I would change quickly and be the first one out of the dressing room.

I think I have carried that practice into other areas of my life. 

But I hope to change that if I can. 

I don’t know how many golf games I’ve played with friends where we didn’t linger after the game. It seemed that there was always somewhere we had to be next. Whether that was getting home for dinner or to a meeting, there always seemed to be a bit of a rush to leave the course. 

That’s not the way it always was though. 

I remember playing golf with the same buddies at 7:20 Saturday mornings. When we finished we would sit in the club house and talk about our game and life for another hour.

I didn’t realize how much I missed that part of the game. I say that like lingering in the club house is part of the golf game because there is something to that. 

You see, by lingering after a game you savour the time you spent together knocking balls into holes.

Later I regularly played with another group of friends. We had a standing Thursday night 9 holes … or more if we could still see the ball.

Afterwards we went to McDonald’s for ice cream cones or sundaes. What we were doing is lingering.

I realized that I enjoyed that part as much as I enjoyed playing golf with those guys. 

There really is something to this lingering. You miss something in the connection when you don’t linger. 

This reflection of mine started this week because a friend called me up. He knew Lily was away and wondered if I wanted to have dinner together.

We had some extra time before we were ready to eat so we met at my house, talked for a while, then picked up a pizza and came back to my house. 

We just hung out. And that’s what lingering is. It enriches a relationship. 

We hang out lots as kids, but somewhere in adulthood we forget or get too busy to hang out, to linger. 

Today I played hockey. I got there a little late and had to quickly get ready. That’s my style. But after the game, I was the last one to leave the dressing room. I lingered. 

And that is where connections are made.

Here’s the thing: Sometimes people wonder why they don’t feel all that close to God, to the point where they wonder if He is even all that close. I can tell you one thing, if you linger with God, that’s when you find your relationship with Him is enriched. You won’t wonder why God doesn’t feel close; you will experience His presence in rich and meaningful ways. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: Who do you need to linger with? Leave your comments and questions below.

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This Challenge Has Not Been An Easy One

I’m realizing that my challenge is really becoming a challenge for me.

this challenge has not been an easy one

Not that long ago someone said something to me that I took as a challenge. 

There have been many times in my life that I have felt pressured to respond to someone’s comments, suggestions, or commands. Sometimes I’ve even taken a challenge that wasn’t really there. 

In college I liked this girl. She didn’t care two hoots about me but that didn’t stop me from trying. 

We were talking one day and she expressed her disappointment that she had no one to run with in a 10 kilometre race the school was putting on. I quickly took on the challenge. Well, there was really no challenge from her. It was me challenging myself to do something stupid for someone I kind of liked.

I said to her, “I’ll run with you” and that was that. 

It was no big deal … except for the fact that I had never run 10 k in my life. In fact, I’d never run 5 k. I’m basically not a runner.

The race was coming up soon, so the week before I thought maybe I should train a little. I decided to go with a group who was doing a 5 k run. 

Being in my twenties so I figured I was pretty invincible. I guess my feet weren’t prepared for all that pounding because after that 5k my right foot was sore. My foot felt like something was out of place. For the next week I had to walk on the side of my foot. 

By race time, it was still really sore. But I wasn’t about to back away from a challenge, even if it was for a girl who didn’t really like me all that much. 

Oh, I ran the race and completed it. It was the first and only time I ran 10K. And no, I didn’t get the girl … turned out my roommate eventual did.

That was long, long ago and a tough challenge. I’m facing one now that is tough in another way. 

I was doing a chapel with the Kingston Frontenacs hockey team and the topic of lent came up. Some of the guys were talking about what they were or were not going to do during lent. 

Then one of them asked me, “Paul, what are you going to do for Lent?” 

“Well,” I said, “I don’t usually do anything, but I’ll think of something and do it this year.”

What I came up with was to cut out social media until Easter – that means no Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter.

I didn’t think it was that tough because I’m not a real social media junky, but it’s been a bit more challenging than I expected. 

As I look at my Facebook app icon, there is a red number beside it: 101 and counting – that’s the number of notifications and requests I have not seen. 

I also get emails letting me know that someone has posted something. There is always an urge to check that out. 

So far I’ve remained strong. But this challenge has been challenging. 

Here’s the thing: A challenge shouldn’t be easy; it should cost you something. God has challenged us to draw close to Him. If we do, He promises to draw close to us. So what are you specifically doing on a daily basis to take up God’s challenge to get to know Him better? That might be a tough challenge, but it’s worth it. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What is the greatest challenge you face today? Leave your comments and questions below.

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My Bargain Came As A Complete Surprise

I am not a real bargain guy, but I found a bargain the other day and didn’t let it go. 

my bargain came as a complete surprise

There are some people who have a knack of uncovering amazing sales or deals that leave other people wishing they were them.

That’s not me. 

I seem to miss the sales more than I get them, or by the time I get to the store they are all sold out. 

I know people who can find the cheapest seat on a plane but, when I go looking, those seats are not available. 

Have you ever gone to a garage sale and found something that is just perfect for that side room in your home? When I go to a garage sale all I see is someone’s junk that they want to get rid of. I don’t find that rare piece that will perfectly accent the mantel above the fireplace. 

Years ago I wanted a bicycle repair stand. It’s tough to work on your bike or do maintenance when your bike is propped up and leaning against something. 

All the bike stands that I could find were pricey. So I looked on the internet for how I could make my own version on the cheap. I spent hours looking at different designs; some were absolutely ridiculous. 

After all my research, I came up with an idea that borrowed between a few designs. From a hardware store I bought a steal flange, a threaded rod which screwed into the flange and a heavy-duty vice grip thing.

This home-made rigging has worked fairly well, but I still wish I had a stand.

On Tuesday we found an old flyer from the previous week in our mailbox. It was a Princess Auto flyer. Though they are all about automobiles, and though the snow mounds are still visible, they were advertising a bicycle repair stand.

I wasn’t thinking about biking quite yet, but I noticed the price and it was cheap. Online they range from $80 – $400. 

I know the flyers come out on Thursday and this was the next Tuesday. I wasn’t too hopeful. Then I looked at the date the flyer took effect. The sale started the next day, on Wednesday. That’s perfect timing!

I checked when the store opened and they had a special one day early opening of 7 am the next day.

I planned to go on my way to work. And to better my odds, I left for work about a half hour earlier than normal.

I guess not too many people got the flyer because, when I got there, I was greeted at the door by a whole team of employees. I was presented with a door crasher gift. They asked me what I was looking for and someone took me right to the spot.

I got my bargain bike repair stand and was out of there in five minutes.

I guess I do find the sales sometimes.

Here’s the thing: It’s not hard to see that our world is in trouble. People, environment, economics, health – it doesn’t matter what – there is trouble everywhere. From the beginning, God had a plan to save us at the end when the trouble turns apocalyptic, and to save us when our personal trouble claims our life. God gave us the greatest bargain of all, His Son. If we place our faith and trust in Jesus, when the trouble overtakes us, we will go to be with Him. That’s a great bargain.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What is something you need to take advantage of right now? Leave your comments and questions below.

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The Biggest Crowd This Year Didn’t Miss A Thing

It was probably the biggest crowd of the year and we got our money’s worth.

the biggest crowd this year didn't miss a thing

The other night I went to watch our city’s OHL team, the Kingston Frontenacs. This has been an interesting year because they have played to no fans, 500 fans, 2500 fans, and now to full capacity. 

I’m sure the players like having all the people back to watch and cheer them on. It worked last night. Not only did they win, but there were a couple of fights and lots of goals.

Not only have these guys had to play before a fluctuating number of occupied seats, they have also only been able to play some teams in their division. 

In the OHL there are a total of 20 teams, divided into two conferences. But this year they only played against the teams in their own conference, with most of their games played against the 5 teams in their division. It seems like they have been playing one of the same 4 teams every other game. 

It would be like going back to the NHL when they only had 6 teams. You get really familiar with the other players. And because hockey is a fairly physical game, this familiarity also results in more fights on the ice.

There were two fights last night and several skirmishes with pushing and shoving. 

This all got the fans on their feet, cheering louder. At one point it was standing room only in the penalty box!

There is always a league official in the box with the players, so I pity that guy the other night. A couple of the players were in there for over 10 minutes. 

On the ice there was some question of who was in control. The  Fronts started the scoring, then got behind 2 to 1. They then tied the game with under 4 seconds left in the period. 

The next two frames were all Kingston, scoring 5 straight goals.

Everyone left happy … until they got outside and saw all the snow on the ground.

The sidewalks were so slippery I practically skated back to the car. It was kind of like I watched three periods of hockey and then I skated for another period in my shoes. 

Lil was wearing boots and had good traction; it was me who almost went down about 4 times. I looked like one of those cartoon characters who slips on a banana peel and their legs start spinning around trying to stay under control. 

I did that a few times, but I won my game as well. I was 4 and O against the snow and sidewalk. 

I never went down once … but the only fans watching me were the people in their cars trying to maneuver through the traffic. I’m sure I put on a good show for them.

When there is potential mayhem about to take place, it draws people’s attention. Everyone turns to it to see what the outcome will be. Will the player on our team win the fight? Will the guy on the sidewalk fall on his rear end?

Here’s the thing: When a Christian leader fails, when something comes to light, people take notice. But remember, the failure on the part of a Christian is a reflection on his own imperfect desires and actions; it is not a reflection on our perfect God. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What needs to be corrected or set in right order in your life? Leave your comments and questions below.

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This Deadline Didn’t Phase Me One Bit

This year I was ready well in advance of the deadline and it made my day seamless.

this deadline didn't phase me one bit

Maybe you are in the habit of having your work done well in advance. Maybe when you have a project or task assigned to you, you get right on it and beat the deadline by days or weeks.

I’m on a committee right now where we have to recruit people to participate in a number of review committees. 

At our first meeting one of my colleagues had already recruited 75 percent of his total and was just waiting to hear back from the last 25 percent. I, on the other hand, had recruited one person and only one other as a potential recruit. 

I guess what I’m saying is I am not normally the guy who gets right on things and ties them all up well before they need to be done. I’m usually the guy who knows the date when something needs to be done and will be working until that date on the calendar comes. 

I’m not really sure why that is. 

I do know that I don’t feel motivated when there is so much time between now and the deadline. Maybe I need a little pressure to get moving on things. 

I remember a TV show that was kind of based on that principle. The show was called, “Name That Tune”. Contestants would bid against each other to see how few notes they could hear before naming the tune. When it got down to two or three notes, well, the pressure was on and the contestant had to perform.

Last fall I did something that set me up to not be pressured this weekend. What I did back then meant I didn’t have to lift a finger at the deadline. What I did was not change the time on the clock on my bedside table.

From the end of October until now I’ve been looking at that clock every morning and it has always been one hour ahead. 

Now there were a few times I woke up, looked at my clock and got a little startled. … When your head is still thick from sleep, the mental processing takes a second to kick in. 

But the thought that I was an hour late getting up was only momentary. Then I would smile and close my eyes for a moment longer … much like when you wake up on Saturday morning thinking it’s another work day. When you realize it’s your day off, you just chuckle to yourself and calm right down.

Well, on Saturday night I didn’t have to do a thing. I was ready for Daylight Savings Time. 

And you know what? I really like the feeling of not having to change my clock. 

I think we should just stop the time change all together. We should stay on the same time all year long. Then no one would show up late for church because they didn’t make the time change deadline. 

Ya … it happens every year.

Here’s the thing: This world will one day come to a quick end. We can see the signs in natural disasters, super power tensions, wars and rumours of wars. The Bible says this will all come before the end. But you know what? We can prepare ourselves well in advance by having a relationship with Jesus Christ. Place your faith in Christ and you won’t miss that deadline.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you kept putting off because you don’t feel the pressure yet? Leave your comments and questions below.

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My To-dos May Become My Daily Score Card

I’m thinking about changing up how I keep track of my to-dos each day.

my to-dos may become my daily score card

Probably everyone has a method for making sure they remember what they have to do. Some people have everything organized in their steel trap of a mind. But not everyone can remember all the little things they either need to or want to get done in a day.

That’s were a system comes in handy.

The tried and true method is to write things down on a piece of paper and mark them off when they are done.

In our day and age we can do that but we also have the luxury of tracking to-dos electronically. We can make lists on our phone or computer or tablet. 

For a long time I’ve gravitated to the digital method. I have an app on my phone, tablet and computer that instantly is updated regardless of what device I’m using at the time. 

Over the last several months, however, I’ve gravitated to the more traditional method. I write out my list and check each item off with a pen.

I’ve noticed a couple of things during this time: 

First, I really like scratching several lines through a task I’ve completed AND making a big check mark beside it. There is something satisfying about doing that, more satisfying than merely clicking the item on my phone and having it disappear. 

I actually like to see the things I’ve completed. I somehow get pleasure in it. Just having a shorter list in front of me doesn’t give me the same sense of accomplishment.

It’s like playing hockey as a kid versus playing hockey as an adult. 

In some kids’ leagues they don’t post the real score, presumably to not discourage the kids. But believe me, when my son was a kid, he didn’t need a score board to know whether his team was winning or losing. 

As adults we like to see the score on the screen. It’s comforting to see a lead building up or to visualize that you just have one goal to catch up.

Every scratch and check mark I make is like I scored another goal. I am defeating the list. 

The second thing I noticed is I don’t like having to write everything out again every day. Nor do I like having to keep the paper with me. 

I want to make my list and, if I have to roll things over to the next day, I don’t want to have to write them out again. I also want to see it on all my devices.

You can’t do that with paper.

So with my recent desire to obliterate each of my to-dos with a heavy line that almost tears through the paper, and my aversion to writing things out again and again, I’m experimenting with a change.

I may go to a hybrid method where I have my to-dos on an electronic list, but also print a copy that I can rough up, check into the boards and score some goals on.

Here’s the thing: Like with our to-dos, we may at times feel we need to change things with our time with God. You can keep doing the same thing, but if your time with God is not satisfying, find a way to change it a little. Try a different time of day, journaling, writing out your prayer, using a devotional guide, or a different one. Don’t keep doing the same thing expecting different results. We all know what that’s a definition of.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you need to consider doing differently? Leave your comments and questions below.

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How Pain Can Be Profitable

This post original appeared on my blog on March 8, 2014, I hope you enjoy it.

The other day I bit my tongue. I didn’t just nip it, I chomped down on it hard (pain). It’s not the first time I’ve done it either.  

how pain can be profitable

You’d think it would be no big deal. It’s not like breaking an arm or having knee surgery (though it felt like I needed to reattach part of my tongue!). But for a few moments, everything, EVERYTHING stops and you are completely incapacitated by the pain.   

I was in the middle of saying something to my wife at the time, and then in mid-sentence I was silenced. Lily turned around, wondering why I stopped, and then wondered if I was having a stroke or something.

I wasn’t moving; my mouth was half opened. I couldn’t speak; my eyes filled with water. She was really concerned and asked, “Are you okay?”  

I couldn’t immediately reply because of the pain, but also because of the piece of toast I still had in my mouth. That’s what caused the great tongue bite in the first place.  

I’m thinking if this is going to happen to me more often, maybe I should just drink Boost – that way I wouldn’t have to chew any more. I’m over fifty-five so people wouldn’t even think that’s odd. In fact, people under thirty expect that someone my age would be drinking that stuff by now.

Besides not biting my tongue, there are benefits to not chewing and just focusing my attention on swallowing.  

… Things like no more cooking – Lily would like that because meals would take under two minutes. I’m sure I could chug a bottle, box or can of that stuff, whatever form of packaging it comes in.  

This wasn’t even the worst tongue biting I have harmed myself with. I once bit down on my tongue so hard I put my right incisor into the middle of my tongue and, yes, I was bleeding.  

To make matters worse, I couldn’t stop the bleeding either. I was on a blood thinner at the time and it wasn’t like I could put a bandaid on it. It seemed to take forever to heal.  

And then about three months later I opened it up again. It’s been a couple of years now and still that spot on my tongue can open up like a boxer’s face that has had one too many punches.

When you bite your tongue hard you also can appreciate what it’s like to have your tongue pierced. You’ve seen those sales clerks or waiters who speak kind of funny because they have this little silver ball in the middle of their tongue. 

They kind of talk with a lisp and your eyes are directed right to their mouths like you’re a lip reader. You can tell they’re having a hard time forming the words they are trying to say. You feel like helping them out by finishing their sentences.  

Well I have three days to get my tongue back to normal before I preach on Sunday.  

Here’s the thing: When you bite your tongue, the pain lasts for a while. When God wants you to learn something or correct you on something, the pain or angst you feel also lingers for a while.  Keep on being faithful through it; don’t look for other solutions. Learn the tough lessons and move on.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What lessons have you learned by going through the pain or angst of the teaching?

I’d really love to hear from you; leave your comment below.

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The Coldest Night Of The Year … To Me

Last night was the coldest walk outside this year. 

the coldest night of the year to me

It may not have been the coldest night of the year, but it certainly was the coldest I’ve been all year.

I remember my days in Edmonton. We would always get a stretch of cold temperatures each winter. It might have lasted a couple of weeks, but it felt like it was never going to end.

It was the kind of cold in which we would talk ourselves out of even going to the store to get milk: 

“Dear, are you sure you really need milk? Maybe you could pour something else on your cereal in the morning.” 

“Have you ever tried almond milk? I think you might like it.” 

“Let’s just stay in and go to the store tomorrow. I hear it’s going to get up to -24 C tomorrow afternoon.” 

The conversation would go something like that and we would stay in and do without, just because we didn’t even want to drive in that cold if we didn’t have to. 

But I also remember times I did go to the store and there would be three pickup trucks at the 7-Eleven ahead of me, nobody in them, but the engines were still running. 

I did the same. 

Car thieves must have had the same conversation about whether they really wanted to go out in the cold to steal a car that was open, keys in the ignition with the engine running. 

Well, last night that’s what it felt like. We went to the Kingston Frontenacs’ game and found a parking spot several block from the arena … which meant hoofing it to the rink, but that’s what we do all the time. 

Last night we should have tried to get valet service because, man, that walk was cold. 

It had snowed earlier in the day. In fact, before the temperature dropped there was a lot of snow that fell in a very short time – so much that many businesses didn’t have a chance to shovel their sidewalks.

Because it got so cold so fast, the snow packed together and stuck to the streets and sidewalks, leaving them very uneven and slippery. We were walking on trampled snow and underneath our shoes the snow squeaked as we walked. 

You know when you buy cheese curds and you pop one in your mouth and the cheese squeaks as you chew? That’s the sound the snow made as we walked to the arena. 

It took me about half the game and a hot chocolate to start to warm up … but we were in a building that has its floor frozen with a sheet of ice on it. 

The walk back to the car was colder. 

The temperature had dropped several more degrees from when we came. 

I didn’t think the car was going to heat up before we got home. It was the coldest night.

Well, they say it’s the damp air in southern Ontario that makes the cold go right through you. It sure did last night. 

Here’s the thing: In the comfort of your home, you may not feel so pressed to go out and follow Christ. You may be able to convince yourself you are okay just as you are. But let me encourage you – get out to a church, talk with a pastor and find out how to follow Christ. Don’t hibernate on this decision. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you put off because you are comfortable? Leave your comments and questions below.

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Maybe Vaccination Passports Are A Good Thing

I think I might be changing my mind about the vaccination passports. 

maybe vaccination passports are a good thing

I can’t say that I ever liked to have to show proof that I’m vaccinated when going to a restaurant or a hockey game, but maybe there is a place for these passports in our society. 

Ontario was late getting their electronic QR code all set up, but we have been showing proof of vaccination since the fall. 

I had a pretty neat set up with my vaccination receipt and a picture of my driver’s licence on the same page in my phone. 

There was no fumbling, no scrolling, searching for another document. I just showed the person at the door my page. They squinted for a few moments until their eyes adjusted to the 6 pt type size on the document. 

When I had to, I made the switch and conveniently was able to put my driver’s licence picture on the same screen as my QR code. So it worked easily for me.

It still is a hassle. You can’t just enter an establishment. You have to line up to prove you are allowed to be there.

Remember the days when we never thought of pulling out our wallet or phone until we got to the cash on the way out, or until the waiter or waitress handed us the machine at our table to pay? 

Those were truly the good old days, weren’t they? And we are going back to them very soon.

I can hardly wait in one sense, but in another I’m thinking it’s too bad because I’ve just discovered something really good about vaccination passports. And it all has to do with going to the movies. 

In the last couple of weeks I’ve seen two movies in the theatre. One of them Lily wanted to see and the other I really had to see. It was my duty.

Anyway, both times we arrived at the theatre there was a line of people outside waiting to get in. The line was because it takes time to show your credentials to get into the movie. 

The theatre is still not that busy and they have a very large lobby. But for some reason, they want to scan your QR code just inside the doors, which means you are standing outside until it’s your turn to show your code.

But here is the best part and why maybe we should keep the passports for a while – at least at theatres: The people scanning that black and white square piece of art on your phone are so focussed on that that they don’t verify if you even have a movie ticket. 

That’s right, the last two movies I went to I didn’t need to buy a ticket. All I needed was my QR code and driver’s license. 

All I can say is I’m glad I only paid the senior’s rate. It was Lily who paid the big bucks to see those two flicks.

Here’s the thing: I think some people think that when they get to heaven, God will look at all the good things they did and just forget about the bad – maybe just overlook the bad because of all the good. But God doesn’t work that way. It’s the bad that separates us from Him and no amount of good on our part can overcome the bad. It is only by the sacrifice of Jesus that we can have a relationship with God. By putting your faith in Christ, He takes away all the bad. That’s something to think about.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What is something you overlook that you shouldn’t? Leave your comments and questions below.

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A Valentine’s Day To Remember

When Valentine’s Day came, I thought I could give my wife a most wanted present.

A valentine's day to remember

For Valentine’s Day I always get her some flowers and a card, but not usually a present.

But this year there was a gift I knew she would be thrilled with … a gift she had been hoping for.

Here’s the story: I had been growing a beard for about four weeks and almost every day she asked me when I was going to shave it off.

She would say, “You’re not going to keep this, are you?” and “Am I going to be married to a Grizzly Adams?”

I never gave her any hope that I was going to shave it off (read about that here). 

Instead I talked about how nice it was growing in, how I liked the colour and just how great it was to have a beard.

In reality, I couldn’t have cared less to have a beard. 

When I started, my stubble was all white and I just wanted to see what it was going to grow into.

As the weeks went on, I could tell that Lily was wondering if she was going to have to get used to it, but she was not at the place to accept it. 

My plan was to shave it off after four weeks on a Saturday, just before Sunday. But during the week, I had an idea for a sermon illustration that was related to my beard, so I decided I would keep it for one more Sunday. 

Valentine’s Day was the day after Sunday and I determined that I would surprise Lily with a gift of shaving off my beard.

While Lily was busy that afternoon building a puzzle, I secretly shaved my beard and then stayed out of her way (read about that here). 

I was working on a project at my desk when she came downstairs and kissed me on my freshly shaven cheek.

She didn’t notice!  

A little while later I came upstairs and looked at how she had set up the living room. We had planned to have a romantic dinner at home and the living room looked like a perfect, quiet spot in a restaurant. The lights were low and Lil had candles glowing all over the room. 

We had a short conversation and I went to pick up dinner from a Greek takeout place close by. 

When I came back, Lily kissed me on my lips and took the food to place it on the plates. We sat down to eat, just three feet across from each other, face to face, eye to eye. 

Then Lily said, “Oh, I need a picture”. She got out her phone and took a picture from across the table. 

Never once had she said anything about my missing beard. 

We were a few minutes into eating our dinner when I finally couldn’t take it any longer. I asked, “Did you notice I shaved off my beard?” 

Lily gasped. She was so embarrassed. It never dawned on her. She’s not living this one down.

I almost decided to start growing it back that night … but I don’t want a beard.

Here’s the thing: Have you ever noticed how intricately the petals of a rose are formed, or how the human body has been put together? It’s hard to believe that this all happened randomly, by luck or flute. It’s practically impossible if you think about it. No, God made everything precisely and purposefully. But many people never notice. I encourage you to take notice of the Creator and put your trust in Christ. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has escaped your attention lately? Leave your comments and questions below.

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