When They Grow Up, They Get Smart and Everything

A few months ago I wrote a blog I called my replacement blog. I had written a blog that my editor (wife) didn’t want me to post. She felt that it was not fare to the person I wrote it about.  So instead I wrote the blog that appeared on July 13th called “My Replacement Blog”.  Since that time my daughter Karlie as given me permission to post the original blog I wrote back in July.

 On that special day when your first child is born, you really don’t have any idea what will transpire over the years. Sure, you may look right into her scrunched up closed eyes and dream about things to come. You might even take that little wrinkly, slippery body in your arms and begin to make plans.

2013-star-motorcycle-bolt-1_600x0w

But you really don’t have a clue what the next few days will bring, let alone the next several decades.

My daughter, Karlie, is coming home after living on the other side of the country for the last six years. No, she won’t be living in our home, but Richmond Hill is under 3 hours away, and not the 36 hours of straight driving distance that she’s living now.

She should arrive next week … that’s if she doesn’t do anything foolish. Ha, like that would happen! My daughter is responsible, sensible and very determined.

But … she’s also adventurous. So, when she goes for a motorcycle ride with a friend and after the ride the friend says, “Hey Karlie, you want to try riding this bike? She says . . .

The responsible and sensible Karlie says, “No, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”  But the adventurous and determined Karlie says, “Ya, sure I’ll try.”

Now if you were going to try to ride a motorcycle for the first time, you would probably pick some really open area with no obstacles around. When I taught Karlie and Mike to drive, we went to a big parking lot, and to streets that had no cars on them.

That’s the sensible thing to do. Karlie and her friend, well, they chose a parking garage. There weren’t many cars around, but there were cement posts in the vicinity. But with some careful instruction on what to do, Karlie got on the bike with no helmet.

Did I really say she didn’t have a helmet? That must have been a typo. After all, she’s sensible, and in a parking garage. It wasn’t a long ride; short, in fact. Her friend described it as “I’ve never been more scared in my life watching that.”

Somehow she found one of those cements posts in the parking garage. She ran right into it. She wrecked the bike, got a ride in an ambulance, and got a $300 fine. Not bad.

The amazing thing is she’s alive! … and received only a few stitches on her cheek, a black eye and swollen face. No broken bones, concussion or death. We’re praising the Lord right now for His protection.

I love this girl; she’s my daughter. I’ll take her adventurous side as well as her sensible, responsible side. But I wouldn’t have dreamed 24 years ago – on the day Calgary won the Stanley Cup – that my little squirmy, wrinkly baby (who looked very similar to the babies on either side of her in the nursery) would be sporting the same beat up face as one of the guys contending for the Cup!

Here’s the thing: It would be nice to be able to protect those around you, to keep them from harm, or at least weigh in on the decisions they make. That may be a reality when a child is small, but is impossible as they get older. We can become relegated to worry about them and for them. However, God can care for them better than we can, no matter how far away they are. Our job is not to worry, but to trust. Trust God with those you love. It’s really all you can do, and the best you can do.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What’s the scariest story your child or loved one has told you? Leave your comment below.

She Wished She Had Lived When?

You can know someone for so long, but not really know them at all. Have you ever experienced that? I did this past weekend when my wife and I went to Upper Canada Village (an authentic 19th century park along the St. Lawrence River).

photo copy

I can thank our friends for that. We had been talking with them about what they had been doing over the summer and they mentioned they had just been to UCV. That seed got planted in Lily’s brain, fertilized, grew and blossomed in only two days, just as we were deciding on what to do for our anniversary. Before I knew it, we were on our way.

At the end of our day there, I discovered that Lily would have liked to live back in those times. She said they were “simpler.”

It was right then that I realized I didn’t even know this person I’d been married to for 28 years. Simpler times, were they?

During our visit, we watched a blacksmith heat up and hammer a piece of iron into a coat hook. With one hand, he worked the bellows to fan the flame, with the other, he held the metal in the fire. He was hot, sweaty, then with great force, hammered the iron into shape. It took effort. … I could drive to Home Depot and buy one for about $1.50. Which is simpler?

We milked a cow, which I actually proved to be pretty good at. But still, I could tell it would take a long time to get a bucket of milk … and that’s assuming your aim was good and you got all the milk in the bucket and not down your leg.

I think reaching into the fridge and pulling out a container of milk is simpler – even if we use bags instead of cartons! How could she think living in the 1860’s would be simpler?

I saw a few kitchens in this village and there were no microwave ovens, no electric stoves, no fridges. Food preparation looked pretty onerous and time consuming. A combo meal from McDonald’s, now that’s simple!

The processes they had to go through to make cheese, print a paper or cut a large log were painstakingly long. We watched a horse walking in a circle, hooked up to a contraption, that sawed through a 24” diameter log.

I was impressed with the ingenuity of the people who thought this up. But a Husqvarna 440 chainsaw would have cut through that log in about 15 seconds!

Factoring in that we experienced all this in the middle of the summer in 25 C (77 F) weather, you can multiply the complexity of living back then exponentially during the winter months.

I don’t understand why Lily thinks it would be nice to live back then. This from a woman who packs her bag so full for an over night, that she asks me to put the hairdryer in my bag … because that 19th century technology is coming with us, for sure!

She hadn’t been to Upper Canada Village since she was a kid, and she was very excited about going. I just hope it was the excitement that was doing the talking. If not, I don’t have a clue who this person is.

Here’s the thing: You can think you know God, but do you really? As you peel back the pages of the Bible, and experience Him in life, over a great amount of time you will discover more of Him … But you’re still only scratching the surface.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What new thing have you discovered about God in the last year? Leave your comment below.

Why You Should Keep Things Simple

The other night, my wife, daughter and I went downtown to the Buskers Festival. Years ago buskers were individuals on a street corner who had some kind of talent and were trying to make a few bucks in the summer.

buskers pole guy

Now it’s an industry, with people traveling all over the world to cities bringing them in for festivals. They block off streets and allow large crowds of people to gather round.

At one time, they used to just open their guitar case or throw down a hat and hope people would put money in as they passed by. It’s a little different now.

I hadn’t been down to see the buskers in our city for several years, but I sure noticed something different this year. These performers were into entertainment more that performing their stunts.

I saw three acts and there was no question about their talent and abilities, but I got bored with their acts. They were too long. I wanted to see the pole guy climb the pole more, and do more tricks up there.

Perhaps the guys he picked from the audience to support the pole weren’t as strong as they looked. Maybe he needed to give them a rest in between trips up to the top of his free standing pole. I kind of wanted to see him carry the female volunteer from the crowd up with him.

The lady who could stick her head through her legs was a little creepy, but she could really do the hula hoop … several of them … at one time … all on different appendages.

But she went on and on about how long she had been practicing her craft, and how dangerous it was to do the hula hoop from 7 feet in the air. That’s not even the height of a normal ceiling in a home.

At least the pole guy didn’t talk. I’m not sure if he couldn’t talk or if it was part of the act. But he didn’t go on and on about preferring bills over change like the hula girl did.

I kept looking over and wishing we had gone to the fire guy about a half a block over. I’m not sure what he was doing, but he had fire, and anything with fire is more exciting than a hula hoop or a pole.

I liked seeing these street performers, but the crowds were so big that they all really needed bleachers, which sort of takes away from the “street” part of the performance. My suggestion would be to have more acts, so that the crowds would be smaller around each act and the performers wouldn’t feel they had to talk so much.

I just want to see more amazing tricks, stunts, and talent.

Here’s the thing: There are times when I add things to my devotions that really aren’t part of it. Sometimes I have the inkling to check something like my email before my time with God. All those extra things do is get me distracted from just being with God, listening, learning and talking to Him. I need to remember to keep my time with Him simple and to the point.

Question: What distracts you most when you want to spend time with God? Leave your comment below.

My Replacement Blog

It’s not easy writing these blogs, you know. Sure, it’s only 500 to 600 words; some people can speak that many words in a minute or two. But it’s not the actual writing that’s difficult.

online-security

I remember when I was a kid. To write 500 words was a death sentence! It’s only a page of words, but when I was young I didn’t have that much to say. Plus, I’m a male and we can say lots with just a look on our face or a few non-intelligible sounds.

The tough thing about writing is the critiquing of what I write. Today I wrote a killer blog.  I thought it was one of my best, so I was anxious for someone to read it. I kept asking my wife, “Have you read it yet?”

I think my asking got her more intrigued with it, so she finally got on her computer and took a look. Everything was going well for the first 3 paragraphs. And then she stopped.

“You can’t write about that.” she said. I replied, “Keep reading”, thinking that maybe when she digested the whole blog she would have a change of mind. But after every paragraph she would stop and say the same thing.

Now, I don’t mind when she says, “Your grammar was really bad on that one” or “the punctuation needs some work.”  I don’t even mind when she says, “You should rephrase that.”  She has great ideas some times. After all, she does all the editing for my blog site.

The thing that I do mind, the thing that is tough to hear, is the content can’t be published. I spent some quality time writing my blog today and when I was finished I was proud of my work.

But now no one is going to read it. I wish I could publish it, and share it with others, but because it’s about a close family member, I’ve been instructed to keep it in the vault.

I ran into this problem several years ago when my kids became teenagers. I used to use illustrations in my sermons that were about things my kids did, or experienced. When they were young they loved hearing me tell stories about them.

But for some reason, by the time they hit about 12 or 13, I was finding that I needed to ask for permission if I was going to speak about them in church. Eventually, I thought it best to just leave them out of it. So for many years they have been missing from my sermon content.

Maybe they’re happy about it. Maybe they don’t do or say things that are as “preachable” as they did when they were kids. But one thing is for sure, censorship doesn’t just revolve around the CRTC (Canadian Radio & Television Commission).

Most of you would have liked my blog. You would have laughed, and been concerned. Some of you, who know my family well, would have had some follow up questions that you really needed answers to.

But unfortunately, you won’t get a change to read it. So just forget I mentioned my killer blog that I can’t publish. This will have to do as a replacement.

Here’s the thing: Sometimes we want to do things that God doesn’t want us to do. He doesn’t force us, but if we continue, we might cause harm to ourselves or others. We can be stubborn and do it anyway, but the benefits of listening to God’s wisdom may save us a lot of heartache.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How have you benefitted by not doing something you really wanted to do?  Leave your comment below.

Our New Living Room Furniture Looks Odd

The other day we got a new living room couch and chair. My wife has been wanting these for some time. She has taken me to the store, showed me the design she likes, and the colour that fits the image in her head of what she wants our living room to look like.

Grass-Sofa

Since the time she first wanted to replace the furniture in our front room, there have been many other things that have taken precedence. So, even though it’s been in the works for a long time, it just hasn’t materialized.

We have had to replace vehicles, put a new roof on our house, bought a trailer … you know, all good things that, for one reason or other, we needed ahead of new living room furniture.

Our present couch is as old as our marriage – that would be 28 years this summer. I refuse to lie on it because, for many years, I would come home from work or Sunday service and fall asleep on that couch. When I woke up, I never felt rested. It was like the couch sucked the life out of me.

In the last few years, we have taken a few measures to firm up the coach … because a couch can only hold up so many rear ends before it starts to sag itself!

The other day, the store called and told Lily it had arrived. I was pretty excited to see it and told her that I would go in to make the final payment on it so we could get it home as soon as possible.

As soon as I had cleared up my work for the day, I drove as quickly as possible down to the store. I told the salesperson that I was anxious to see my new living room couch and chair. She looked at me like she didn’t have a clue what I was talking about. So I explained.

When Lily called me to tell me the living room furniture was in, she was referring to the new bike I had ordered that, once again, was taking precedence over the real furniture she has been patiently dreaming about for so long.

For the price of my new bike, she could have had her couch and chair. The salesperson chuckled and said, “Well technically, you can sit on it.” That’s true, but it only fits one person at a time. And frankly, Lily doesn’t really care if she ever gets a chance to sit on my bike.

Though outfitting our home with a new couch and chair would have been really nice, I had just broken the frame on my bike and, therefore, needed a new one just to keep up my exercising, let alone my enjoyment.

So when I got home with my new bike, all smiley-like, she looked at it, and grinned because she new I was happy. But behind that grin, I knew she was thinking that that could have been her couch and chair.

Maybe next year we can finally fulfill that dream of hers.

Here’s the thing: What we really want can get re-prioritized by others things and by other people. God wants first place in our hearts, but so often we push Him to the side because something else has taken precedence. The only way God will be first in your heart is if you purposely, and ruthlessly put Him there. Then protect His place from everything and everyone else.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you wanted that other things have taken precedence over? Leave your comment below.

They Turned Me Into One!

There are things in life that we pursue, create or proactively bring about. But there are also things in this life that just seem to happen to us without much intention on our part.

It’s the day after my birthday and I am feeling like something just happened to me that I never asked for nor set out to make happen: I’ve become a super fan.

superfan1

You know those guys that paint themselves up before the big game? They have and they wear the jersey of their favourite player (in both home and away colours). You can spot these super fans by the flag waving out their car windows, the bumper stickers plastered on their cars, the paraphernalia dangling from their rear mirrors, and by their golf accessories (I’ll explain).

It’s no secret that I’m a Toronto Maple Leafs’ fan – hey, I grew up there. I do have a few Leaf things in my possession. My office walls even have some Leaf memorabilia.

I have a picture and autograph on my wall of Darrel Sittler, one of my hockey heroes growing up. But nothing I have is overt. You would not be able to look at me and somehow tell that I’m a Leaf fan … not that I’m trying to hide it.

This year I broke down and bought a TML ball cap, but not one that stands out. It has their crest on the front but the colour of the hat is a blue grey and so it’s not really obvious.

I’ve never wanted to be a super fan and I don’t think anyone would ever accuse me of being one either … until now, and through no doing of my own.

It seems this year that my family took it upon themselves to turn me into a super fan, whether I like it or not. This year was one of those years when my birthday falls on Father’s Day. I think because it was a bonus day for me, they got a little carried away!

It started a year ago with my son getting me a bright blue Toronto Maple Leaf golf bag (no, it doesn’t really stand out). This year everyone got into the act. They got me a TML  golf umbrella to match my golf bag. And then for some reason, my wife, Lily got me a golf shirt that matches exactly the colour of the bag and umbrella (see the picture).

My son laughed and said he had thought of getting me Toronto Maple Leaf head covers for my clubs. It’s all a little too much for me – they’ve turned me into a super fan. Look for me the next time you’re golfing or even passing by a golf course. I won’t be hard to spot

There is one more thing that I got for my birthday that does make me a super fan but doesn’t show until you are in my family room – the “Budweiser Red Goal Light”. I can hardly wait until the Leafs score their first goal next season! … How do you spell, “super fan”?

Here’s the thing: God loves me so much that He did something so outrageous as to send His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for me. He certainly didn’t hide His feelings for me, and so I should be proud to show that I’m a fan of Jesus and that I receive God’s love.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What are you a super fan of? Leave your comment below.

He Wouldn’t Stay on the Cart Path

You don’t usually receive much bruising from playing golf … “maybe get a blister on your little finger, maybe get a blister on your thumb”, as Mark Knopfler of Dire Staits might say.

But this past week, I was golfing with my son and I found out that golf can be a contact sport after all. I don’t normally use a golf cart but we were in a tournament and carts were provided.

IMG_1546

I arrived late, and my son, Mike, already had his golf bag on the cart behind the driver’s seat … I was relegated to being a crash test dummy in the seat beside him! At first I thought nothing of it – though his starts were a little fast, he was getting us to where we needed to go.

After a few holes, however, it started to rain and got a little chilly which, for some reason, impacted his driving quality. It may have been the rain drops on the windscreen that made the terrain difficult to see, or maybe it was that he was cold and didn’t have his hand fully on the steering wheel, but let’s just say the ride got a little rough for the last 14 holes.

About 12 years ago, he was driving a golf cart with my dad as the passenger and at one point Mike almost threw his grandfather out of the cart! The words “Wow, wow, wow, Mikey boy!” are etched in my memory as I watched my dad hang on for dear life while Mike had the cart on two wheels.

We even had a deja-vu moment the other day when Mike said “ Hey, that was like the time I almost tossed Grandpa out of the cart.” Obviously, it was a memory that has stuck with Mike too … not that it has impacted his driving habits over the years.

With the rain coming down, we had stuck an umbrella in one of the bags to keep the clubs dry while we were driving. That required someone to hold the umbrella in place and keep it from becoming like one of those parachute-stopping devices on drag cars.

While I was half turned and holding the umbrella with one hand, Mike drove the cart right through a hole, which jolted ligaments in my shoulder. I asked him if he saw that hole and his reply was he thought he could miss it between the wheels.

He just slightly misjudged and in the process caused me to hit my head on the roof! At one point, I thought I was in the Fast and Furious movie, “Tokyo Drift” when we swung around to pick up a ball one of the guys had left behind.

It reminded me of the first time he drove a go cart by himself. He got in front of me and was so impressed with himself, he looked back at me with a big grin and then proceeded to miss the next turn and cut right across the grass, bumping along until he got back on the track.

In the end, we made it back to the club house in one piece. We scored pretty well in the four man best ball tournament and each took home a new Callaway driver as first place prizes! … I just hope Mike’s driving on the road is a little better than his driving on the fairway

Here’s the thing: There is nothing better than being in the passenger seat when God is driving. When you let Him lead, it might be a wild ride at times but it will be exciting and filled with adventure.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has been your most exhilarating experience? Leave your comment below.

Say Good-bye to That Mullet

About four months ago, I wrote about how I’m not very observant. I had missed noticing that my wife had gotten a haircut while I had been away on a trip. Well, it turns out that Lily isn’t a cracker jack CSI herself when it comes to noticing someone’s haircut!

For this entire past week she didn’t notice that I had had every single hair on my head shortened. In fact, I had to tell her I got my hair cut. For me this was no big deal, it wasn’t like she didn’t notice a big blob of mustard dangling from the corner of my mouth.

Paul's mullet.001

She acted like it wasn’t a big deal either, but for some reason, me not noticing her new haircut was a big deal. She says it’s not the same thing … but it seems like EXACTLY the same thing. And our two faux pas prove a hair cut is easy to overlook.

However, some things are impossible to miss, like a child’s growth when you haven’t seen them for a few years. The first words out of your mouth are, “Wow! Have you ever grown!” You can’t help but notice something like that.

Or when you haven’t seen your high school buddy for twenty five years. He shows up at a gathering and you wonder who the new guy is, only to find out that this “new” guy with no hair, a ball cap and a good sized belly is your old school friend. When you finally recognize him, you ask yourself, “What happened to that guy?” because you undoubtedly are going to notice that kind of change.

Those changes are easy to be aware of, but how should any one be expected to notice someone’s hair that is maybe a quarter of an inch shorter and in the same style as when you left for work in the morning? That’s right! No one should have to notice something like that.

There should be a rule across the board that there has to be a certain amount of change differential for something to be worthy of being noticed. Anything less than that differential doesn’t have to receive a comment.

Now, if I had a mullet and got the “party in the back” cut off, that should be worthy of being noticed. But even if that dazzling image eluded her inspection, it wouldn’t cause me much concern.

And when Lily’s “hairdo’s” escape my scrutiny, I only have to go another four weeks or so until I get another shot at it. One thing I am glad for is that it doesn’t take her four weeks to get over my lack of observation or I’d be spending more alone time in front of the TV.

… During playoff season that’s not all that bad … Hey … !

Here’s the thing: Out of all the things we should notice in life, the most significant are what God has done and is doing. We should notice what He has created and marvel over it. We should notice the prayers He answers for us. We should notice how He wants to shape us through the circumstances in life. And we should praise Him for who He is and what He has done. God’s activity in the world and in our lives should never go unnoticed.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you have the hardest time noticing? Leave your comment below.

We Need To Connect

Something has changed in my family that I’m not really excited about. There are a host of changes I have been thrilled about over the years, like being done with diapers, and driving the kids everywhere, whenever. But this new change doesn’t thrill me.

voip5 2

The other day was my wife’s birthday (not the change I’m referring to) and she received the usual greetings via the telephone from family members who live out of town. If you answer the phone when these calls come in, you know they just want to talk to the birthday girl, so you try to quickly pass the handset off to her.

But when our daughter calls, usually we all get into the conversation a little bit. It’s like we are all together again as a family. There have been some years when our daughter (who has been out west for six years) has video chatted during birthdays: we have set a laptop in her normal place at the table and then met as a family for birthday dinner.

That didn’t happen this year. I didn’t even talk to my daughter on my wife’s birthday.  It was like she wasn’t part of our birthday celebrations; she just had an insider conversation with her mom.

It’s partly my fault. I should have told Karlie what our plans were for the day and then had her join us for part of it. I missed not having another voice to tease my wife. When the three of us gang up on Lily, it’s even better than when just my son and I do it!

Maybe this is just a change that’s inevitable and there is nothing we can do about it. Maybe it happened because my daughter used up her data plan in the first two weeks of the month and is now internetless (new word) until the first week of May.

At any rate, Karlie was missing from the celebration this year … and that’s a change I don’t really like. I’ve noticed that changes in the family just seem to happen. You don’t really anticipate them; they just sort of slide in on you and you deal with them.

… Like when your son decides to move in with some buddies downtown for the summer. You don’t preplan to turn his room into a home gym because he may be back by the fall.  But when the room is empty for a while, the thought crosses your mind for a second … or two.

To be honest, I like change. I’ve enjoyed watching my kids grow up, face new challenges, and transform before my eyes into full fledged adults (mostly). But for some reason, I like my family to remain the same around special occasions.

Maybe that’s weird; maybe that’s trying to hold on to something that keeps the family members from truly becoming their own individuals. But to me, it seems with the technology we have today, if we used it to maintain family gatherings, it could keep the family closer.

Here’s the thing: We are able to travel great distances at a moment’s notice. And that can take us away from the special occasion of meeting with God’s family at church on Sundays. We can even get used to being away from this special occasion on a regular basis. But we miss out on celebrating with the family when we aren’t present. We have technology to keep us connected. We should make sure we do what we can to remain close to our church family.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you remain close to family when you’re not present?  Leave your comment below.

There’s A New Fixer Now

If you’re a dad, you’re a fixer. If you’re not good at fixing things, you become good, because as a dad, you get lots of opportunities.

Requests for your assistance come from all kinds of sources and for all kinds of fixes.  As a dad, you have to be a generalist fixer, not a specialty guy. One minute you can be fixing a dishwasher for your wife (it’s still broken), and then asked to fix your son’s latest gadget or your daughter’s computer.

iphonefix

Sometimes the fixing is more like doing things no one else can do, like unscrewing the lid on the pickle jar, or raising the basketball net, or untangling a necklace. When you think of it, dads are really miracle workers.

As a dad, you fix things for so long that you never think that there will be anyone to take your place. You look at the potential and all you can see are people who need you to fix things.

But there comes a time when the mantle of fixer changes hands. It’s not a quick hand off, mind you. There is training that comes into play, until slowly a new fixer is developed. I witnessed the beginning of that development this past week.

My son got an iPhone 5 on Wednesday. On Thursday night at his work, he plugged the speaker system into his phone but no sound came out. He didn’t think much of it until the next day when he couldn’t hear calls that were coming in to his phone.

When he looked into it, he discovered the tip of the sound jack from work was stuck in the earphone hole of his iPhone. The iPhone reacted like there were headphones plugged in it so its internal speakers weren’t activated.

When I got wind of this, I went right into fixer mode. I looked at the phone, got some tools out and started to work. I got on the internet and researched if this had happened to anyone else. Surprisingly, it’s happened often.

I found a couple of solutions that I tried without any success. But there was one solution I didn’t want to try. I didn’t think it would work and felt it was too risky. We all got busy and, for a couple of days, Mike was only able to text his friends.

But then one day we were mulling over what to do about the phone. Mike decided he was going to try crazy glue – the solution I thought was too risky. I wasn’t convinced, but it was his phone, so I gave him a couple of tips and he went at it.

He used a Q-Tip, took the cotton off and filled the hollow end with crazy glue. He carefully put the Q-Tip into the earphone hole and let it sit for about 5 minutes. Then he pulled on the Q-Tip and, unbelievably, the end of the earphone jack came out.

The iPhone was fixed and this house has a new fixer! He’s not ready to take on this responsibility full time yet, but I’m confident that with more coaching and lots more opportunities, this guy will be able to fix anything … just like me … well, almost.

Here’s the thing: We may get confident fixing iPhones or dishwashers, but God is the real fixer. He’s the one we need to take our brokenness and problems to. There’s nothing He can’t fix.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: When was the last time you turned to God to help or fix something in your life?  Leave your comment below.