my thoughts

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When Silence Isn’t Golden

They say that silence is golden – at least I remember hearing that phrase in a song way back in the sixties. I’m not sure it’s true in every situation.

silence

In our world we are surrounded by so many sounds that having some peace and quiet can be a real treat for a change.

But there is always noise … It’s early morning as I’m writing this and though it’s peaceful and quiet, there is still the hum of the refrigerator that just came on a few seconds ago, and the tick tock of the battery-operated clock hanging on the wall just a few short feet from me.

Even if I went outside there are birds chirping, leaves rustling, or even the noise of cars travelling down a distant roadway.

There is always some noise, a voice of some kind that breaks our silence. And maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe complete silence would drive us crazy.

We’d be left alone with our thoughts.

I know that when I get in my car, the first thing I do after starting the car is hit the button on the radio to get some music. Some people just like to have noise, music, talking, whatever alway in the background – radio always on; TV on in another room.

Some people just talk . . . and they never stop. That’s good at times for a person like me who doesn’t have too much to say. Even if the person talking isn’t saying anything interesting, at least it serves as white noise to drown out the silence.

But there are times when I like it quiet. There are times I need it quiet. My mind works better when it’s not distracted by noise around me. I can think clearly, focus more singularly. Its golden.

Then other times silence isn’t golden. Like when you are talking and the person you are talking to isn’t responding.

I’ve had that happen to me on the phone. I was telling a friend important information and during my explanation we were cut off. I’m not sure how long I talked for before I realized there was no one even listening to me, but it was a weird feeling. I had to call back and start over.

There are times when I’ve talked to people who can’t talk back. People in the hospital, at times, are unable to respond or even indicate that they hear what you are saying to them. It’s hard to keep talking in those situations.

There are people who, when they get mad, get silent. And you can talk to them until you’re blue, but they don’t say anything in return. That’s got to be tough. It’s certainly not golden.

In these situations, silence doesn’t help or even solve anything. You really have to talk through them. What’s really golden is knowing when to talk and when to be silent.

Here’s the thing: There are times when we talk to God and it’s as though He isn’t listening.  There just seems to be no response from Him at all. You can plead, beg, even cry out in frustration but still nothing from God in return. At those silent times the temptation is to stop talking to God, to bury your thoughts, worries, frustrations, discouragements and leave God alone in silence.

But that doesn’t solve anything. We need to keep talking to God, keep bringing our thoughts, our needs or hopes to Him, for out of that silence, at some point, God will answer. And that will be golden.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How long have you gone in silence with God? Leave your comment below.

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How To Get Things Done

I really dislike times when my mind is bombarded with thoughts of things I need to do or act on. It unearths a stress in me like a volcano stoking up to explode.

iStock_000010078705Small-to-do-list

It happens often when I’m getting close to some kind of event or deadline – a time like, let’s say, vacation time, which is coming up very soon for me.

I have a ton of things that are flying through my mind, things I need to get moving on. Some things I wouldn’t have to do if I wasn’t going away. But because I am, and there is a deadline, they get piled onto the list.

It’s only 7:30 in the morning as I am writing this piece, but my mind is whirling with about 10 things I need to be putting some time into today. Now that’s on top of the things I have already scheduled to do today!

If I was to attempt to do all the things on my list, I’m looking at about a 26 hour day. Unfortunately, the guy who invented the clock never made one with more than 24 hours.

And the God who created the world set the earth on a rotation that gives us that same 24 pattern for day and night.

Unless the earth gets slammed hard by meteor or something, I think I’m stuck with the same number of hours in a day that we’ve always had. And that thought isn’t helping my stress; nor is it reducing the number of things I have to spend time on.

Something that helps me when I get like this is an exercise I do to deal individually with each project, to-do item or action, and then break it down.

You have to think of each item individually because, when you stay focussed on all the things you have to do, it is just too overwhelming. The pile of work looks massive; you can’t see your way to the end.

So I list each one. I first single them out. Then I break each one down into bite-sized morsels because each to-do or job can be massive. I break them down into small parts that I can do at one time.

I try not to look at the whole project after that, just the next little bite I need to take to get me closer to eating the whole thing.

Here’s the thing:  We sometimes get asked to pray for many things. But what happens is, when we go to pray, we get overwhelmed with all the requests before us, let alone the things we regularly pray for and our own personal needs. It looks like too massive a list and it’s hard to remember them all.

First, don’t try to remember them all; write them down so you can see each request. Then determine how long the request will remain on your list and pray one detail regarding each request for each day it’s on your list.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you pray through the mountain of requests that come to you? I really like to hear from you, so leave a comment below.

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Why It’s Difficult To Make A Group Decision

We make decisions every day; we’re really good at it. We humans are as comfortable making decisions as a big ol’ dog is laying on his favourite rug.

Business session

But when you put a couple of people together – or, say 20, or maybe several hundred – making decisions is a whole new kind of beast. Decisions aren’t easily made in that kind of environment.

This week I attended our denomination’s General Assembly in Ottawa. It’s one of those conferences where one of the prime reasons we come together is to make decisions.

What you notice in these types of meetings is a lot of people have lots to say. Their eyes reveal their eagerness to get it out. And with lots to say, we often take too long to say it. And because those words are burning in our souls, we will say them even if they’ve already been stated.

Of course by stating them again we will say them with greater clarity.

That burning deep inside us is the same fire a preacher has when he’s churned all week on a passage, and has crafted what he believes is the word God has given him for his congregation that week. He just can’t wait to get that message out.

But as much as we want to say our peace, we aren’t as good at listening to others get their words out. What I find is that most of us already have our minds made up. We like our words, and we don’t really get swayed often by the wisdom that comes from the mouths of others.

But it’s more than just liking our thoughts; we’re comfortable with our thoughts.

It’s like when you settle in to watch a movie: you grab a big glass of Dr. Pepper (well, I do) and a few snacks; you get in your favourite spot on the couch; you gaze at the TV as the opening scene begins, and then the phone rings!

You don’t want to get up and move; you are settled in for the night.

When we hear someone with a different perspective, it doesn’t matter how convincing the ring of their words is, we don’t want to move from our position. Our minds are made up. We filter their words rather than give full value to them.

So the discussion drones on and on, with many words spoken but not much movement of position. We sit comfortably, leaning back and viewing the entertainment, unwilling to move and be disturbed by others’ words. Man . . . it’s tough to make decisions.

Here’s the thing: What is true with people is true with God. He speaks to us through scripture, through others, in our quiet thoughts, in our dreams. We need to be careful we are not so comfortable with our thoughts and ideas that we won’t get up and answer that ringing of God’s voice to us. We need to be ready to move from our position to follow God’s leading.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What makes hearing the words of others so difficult for you? I’d love to hear from you; you can leave your comment below.

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What It Takes To Get A Good Night’s Sleep

There is a secret to getting a good night’s sleep, and it requires that you are at peace. However, peace is not that easy to come by. There are so many things that interrupt our peace.

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For me, it looks like I will finally get a good night’s sleep tonight. It’s been some time since I’ve been able to feel well-rested when I get up in the morning.

If you’re wondering if I’ve tried taking sleep medication to help me get a good night of rest, the answer is no … but I have thought of not watching the NHL playoffs so I could get to bed earlier.

Of course, that’s only good in theory.  In reality, no matter how tired I am when I get up, no matter how often during the day I tell myself I should go to bed early, when the game starts I’m up till it’s done.

But that scene is now finished for the season. I can now rest in peace … well, I don’t mean it like it sounds. I don’t intend to rest forever, quite yet. But at least now I can get the proper rest I need.

When the game ended last night (actually, early this morning), I was able to fall asleep in moments after I hit the pillow.

It wouldn’t have been the case if the Toronto Maple Leafs had been there. I would have been on such an anxious, joy-filled, Dr. Pepper high, that I would have needed another hour or so just to get calm enough to get horizontal enough to sleep.

Even still, all game long, every time the fans chanted “Go Kings Go”, it sounded to me like they were shouting “Go Leafs Go” … to which I joined in and chanted quietly along with them.

Maybe it was that Leaf power that propelled the LA Kings to finally end the game in the second period of overtime. With 5:17 left in the second overtime period, that was around 1:00 am at my house, Martinez finally put the playoffs to bed.

Then with the festivities after the game, each player skating with the cup, pictures, and interviews, it went until about 1:45 am.

But the most fitting part was when Ron McLean was wrapping up the NHL season, and the TV feed was lost and the screen went blank. What a shame we didn’t get to hear Ron’s last pun to end the season. Maybe next year they can go to black more often when Ron does his little ditties.

Funny thing, I must have slept like a baby after that because I woke up before my alarm went off at 6:00 am! … though I did hang around in bed for another ten minutes to make sure I was really awake and not dreaming.

Here’s the thing: Life has its moments when it’s tough to find the peace we need to function well and feel rested. Real peace – lasting peace – only comes from having assurance that Christ has forgiven you. Trusting in Christ’s sacrifice for you gives you peace so you don’t have to carry anxiety with you day and night. Rest well.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What keeps you from getting the full rest you need? I’d really like to hear from you, so leave a comment below.

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Why We All Think We Are Lucky

 

I thought just young people believed they were invincible. It turns out that most of us think nothing bad is going to happen to us.

tick-bites

In the last month I have heard of three people getting ticks. Two of them I see at least on a weekly basis. And it’s a little serious because about 20% of the ticks in this region of Ontario carry Lime disease.

The tick problem in our parts concerns me because I mountain bike in wooded areas … which is prime territory for the minute little creatures. I just recently found out that a guy, who bikes in the same place I bike, picked up a tick on the weekend.

Knowing this bothers me. But, you know what? I’m not going to stop biking in the area.

Some precautions are to wear long-sleeved shirts, and long pants tucked into your socks. You should also splash on a good dose of repellent with Deet in it.

That’s all fine and dandy but I’m not biking in attire that is fit for a Spruce Meadows equestrian event. Nor am I crazy about using mosquito repellent as cologne for the next several months.

I have a good mind to take my chances when I go biking. And that’s the thing – if there really is a 20% chance of getting a tick with Lime disease, that means I have an 80% chance of not getting one.

That causes one to start thinking, “How lucky do I feel?” It’s the same question Clint Eastwood asked the bad guy in one of his movies. He pointed his gun at the robber and said “You’re thinking, ‘Did he fire six shots or only five?’ … well you have to ask yourself, ‘Do I feel lucky?’”

We all take risks all the time, and not just with ticks, but with other things, too. In an article I read on heart attack recovery, it said up to 80% of heart attack survivors return to previous unhealthy lifestyle patterns.

We think that even though we’re not doing all that we should, we’ll still be okay.

It’s supposed to be those who are 16 – 28 that think they’re untouchable. But I wonder if they are just coming by these traits naturally by watching older generations living like the cat down the street with nine lives.

I think this mentality has more to do with habit and less to do with feeling lucky. I think we have a hard time giving up what we like. We don’t like giving up our comfort foods, our sedentary lifestyle, our fashion, or even what something feels like when we have it on (repellent or sunscreen).

So every day we wake up and, without consciously thinking it, we act like we feel lucky.

Here’s the thing: We can live our whole life thinking that either there is no God or that in the end God will befriend us. If you live that way you have to ask yourself, “Do I feel lucky?”, because if you’re wrong, the consequences are eternal.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you take little risks every day without thinking about the consequences? I’d really like to hear from you; you can leave your comment below.

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How To Get To The Real Truth

Doing your own research is always better than taking someone’s word for it.

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This Thursday we have a provincial election and I will be relieved when it’s over. It’s really disrupting the NHL playoffs right now.

I think the political parties and special interest groups know that right now a lot of people are watching hockey, so they are flooding the games with their campaign ads.

It would be one thing if they focussed on what they stood for and what they want to do about making our province the best it can be, but all we see and hear is what the other parties are going to do to take down the province.

In fact, each party says the other parties are going to do the opposite of what those parties are promising to do.

It’s a tough decision to make. The most memorable idea that can be forced into our minds will probably be the determining factor of who people will vote for on election day.

In my riding, it’s a little more difficult to get a sense of who would be the best candidate. There is not as much publicity for them as there is for the provincial leaders.

The other day, Lily and I were in the car, backing out of our driveway, when a woman appeared right by our car window. We rolled down the window and started to chat and it turned out she was campaigning for one of the candidates.

She asked if we had questions and I said I didn’t know much about this particular candidate. Lily joined in and said, “Yes, we don’t know if he’s married, has a family, or what he stands for.” To that the woman said, “Well, he is married and I’m his wife.”

Now at least I know what this candidate’s wife looks like … which is better than one of the other candidates who needs to trim her bangs so we can see what she looks like.

I fear she is not able to see people and things well because, when I look at her campaign posters, she seems to be squinting.

It really is a shame that politicians know that we will be swayed by the information that is presented to us in the loudest and most prevailing voice. It doesn’t even matter if it is true or half true as long as we get what they are saying.

What we really need to do is stop listening and watching the commercials, stop looking at the signs on the corners, and start trying to figure out on our own who would be best to lead our province and represent us at Queen’s Park (provincial Parliament).

If we did one hour of research for each candidate we are interested in we might find that our decision on voting day would be clearer.

Here’s the thing: We can get opinions and ideas about God and the Bible from people who make bold statements. And then without really checking further, we accept those statements as the truth. There is great danger in doing that. What we should do is take the time to research God’s statements for ourselves so that we have it from the right source.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you go about determining the truth? I’d like to hear from you; you can leave your comment below.

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Why You Should Think Hard Before Getting A Tattoo

The other day I went biking and found a few wet spots on the trails. Once home, I took my socks off and was drawn to the contrast between the tattoo-like pattern on my legs and my lily-white feet.

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Besides the fact that my feet are in serious need of a tan, the pattern of the mud on my legs got me thinking about what I would look like with some body art on my legs.

I’ve seen people who try to cover much of their body with tattoos and sometimes I wonder, maybe they should have gone biking first to get an idea of what it would look like if it were permanent.

… you know, before it’s there for the rest of your days.

In my town there’s a tattoo place called “No Regrets – tattoo and removal”. They will put a permanent tattoo on you but if you change your mind, they can take a laser to you and remove it.

I still think it’s better to think through the whole thing very carefully before you take the plunge in the first place.

In my mind, I think it would be profitable for people not just to think how cool it would be to have some tattoo on their skin now, but to think what they might want 20 or 40 years from now.

You know when you’re about 70, your skin will get quite wrinkly and that once great looking tat of your ex-girlfriend right at the top of your shoulder will have stretched to cover the greater part of your upper arm!

Or that tattoo on your muscular chest that was a testimony to your love for your wife Mandy, now with your flab and folding skin, sometimes reads “I love you Man” when you sit a certain way.

There is something to say about those lick’em stick’em tattoos that we would get as kids. Moms didn’t really like them but at least they were coming off in a few days. And if Mom really didn’t like them she could scrub that part harder at bath time.

I’m just saying that doing something permanent should be thought out thoroughly so that you don’t have to find some guy who has a laser in his back room and is eager to use it on you.

For myself, I liked the fact that I could have my picture taken looking like I had just come back from “NY Ink” or “Don’t Tell Momma’s Tattoos” only to slip into the shower and remove it all with a little soap and water.

I got a little scraped up on my ride that day but those markings too will go away in a week. Two years ago at Christmas I bough the whole family fake arm tattoos (you can read that blog here), I enjoyed wearing my tattoos for a day but I can’t say that I’ve put the sleeve on since.

Permanent is a long time; it should require lots of thought and consideration before you make something permanent.

Here’s the thing: Considering a relationship with Christ is not something that should be done lightly. It is, after all, a permanent decision. It should be weighed and considered carefully because you, like Jesus Himself, will bear the marks for the rest of your life. I believe those marks are worth bearing.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What permanent thing have you done that you’ve had second thoughts about since?  I’d love to hear from you; leave your comment below.

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The Answer To An Age-Old Automobile Controversy

I believe I’ve just uncovered an automobile mystery that has baffled mankind of a long time … at least since the passenger car was invented.

fender bender

In fact, I feel a little like Banting and Best when they discovered insulin, or when a scientist discovers some kind of breakthrough that will lead to possibly finding a partial cure for a certain strain of a multifaceted disease that continues to develop into different strains.

Whoa, I got a little dizzy just writing that.

Back to my discovery. I got in the car the other day and when I turned a corner the sun shining through the windshield almost blinded me. All I could see was a big red ball of light, so I quickly pulled down the sun visor to block it out.

When I did that, I stumbled onto something that could be a key to changing driving habits, all the way to changing insurance rates.

When I pulled down that visor, I almost scared myself into the next lane of traffic. The shield covering the visor mirror was gone. I went from looking into the centre of the sun to looking at two eyes staring at me and it freaked me out.

Fortunately, I controlled myself and stayed in my lane. But not everyone is as composed as I am when they drive. And here’s my discovery …

The mirror in the visor is a driving hazard and the ones who are guilty of using it are mostly women. Because of it, they are causing untold numbers of accidents.

Every time I look behind the visor, if my wife has been sitting in the seat before me, that mirror is visible. Imagine how many men have jerked the steering wheel to the left, when they’ve suddenly seen a pair eyes about six inches from their face.

Or how about the light that reflects off a woman’s bleached white teeth, hits the mirror and like a laser pointer temporarily blinds some poor unsuspecting driver behind her.  Another accident.

Or what about the women who’s putting on her makeup and drifts a little, causing the car beside her to swerve and careen into a light pole on the side of the road.

You see what I’m saying?

Statistics says that “80% of collisions and 65% of near crashes have some form of driver inattention as contributing factors” (National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, 2010).

I’m not saying women cause more fatal accidents. No, men are best at doing that. But statistics say that women are in more fender benders than men.

It’s that distraction factor, and a little piece of the solution could have something to do with the mirror that is on the back of sun visors.

This is still an early discovery. Now I just have to figure out how to get Lily to place the cover back over the mirror when she’s done.

Here’s the thing: God is trying to teach us all the time, but often we are distracted by other things. Being attentive to little things can lead you to discover something amazing about God that you haven’t noticed before. You can learn much about God from life around you. Don’t be so distracted by something that’s right in your face that you miss learning about God’s character and how that relates to you.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What discovery have you made recently about God? I’d love to hear from you; you can leave your comment below.

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Why Fans Aren’t Worth Much – Part 1

I’ve come to the conclusion that sports fans are much like “recycle trash” in the big picture of sport. Recycle trash is more precious or valuable that regular trash, but it’s still trash.

recycling

Garbage that is destined for one of the many bins we have in our households is treated with slightly more respect than straight garbage.

In our city we have grey boxes for paper and cardboard, blue boxes for cans and plastic, and green bins for food refuse. What’s left just gets tossed into the garbage can.

The recycle trash we treat with some care. We either fold it up nicely, rinse it off or out, and collect it in a special container before we put it in the bin.

Regular trash doesn’t get any of that consideration. It just gets tossed.

In sports, the teams like the fans to come to games and cheer them on. And because of that, teams care for them in certain ways.

In hockey the players skate around the rink at the end of the game with their sticks in the air, paying tribute to the fans who stuck with them and served them with their collective noise.

The treatment is not unlike styrofoam that held a few pounds of ground beef. We take care to rinse off the meat residue, making the styrofoam all clean, and then place it orderly in the blue or grey box – frankly, I can’t remember which box it goes in. But we stack it up in one of those boxes.

Teams will also show up to community events to raise money, show they care, sign autographs – it’s pretty touching at times. The fans feel like they are cardboard that hasn’t been crushed but rather neatly flattened, then folded to the proper size to fit nicely into the grey bin.

Owners of teams will extend perks, incentives and deals to the fans to encourage them to watch games in large arenas, all with the goal of supporting the fans and making them feel special.

I don’t know how many times I’ve taken plastic bags and made sure they are clean and put them all in a big plastic bag and placed them in the blue bin, with the paper and cardboard – go figure that one!

It’s just nice to have all those bags together in one place … and you can really stuff a lot of little bags in one big bag.

Sports fans are just like recycle trash. But they’re still considered trash. It shouldn’t be. The fans are the ones that make it possible to fill the arenas. The fans are the ones that put money in the owners’ pockets and, in turn, into the players’ hands.

The fans make it possible for someone to do something they are good at and love professionally. Without the fans, those guys would be playing at 11 pm in broken-down arenas, with their wives already home in bed, just like the rest of us.

Sports fans aren’t really recycle trash; they’re just treated as such by the sports teams they cheer for. To be continued . . .

Here’s the thing:  As much as we think life is all about us, it is really all about God. We are here to give Him glory in all that we do. However, many of us think life – our life – is all about us, so we treat God like He is secondary. … Not recycle trash – no, much better than that – we honour Him at times. But I wonder if He feels like He’s being treated like recycle trash … just a little better than regular garbage.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How may you have made God feel like recycle trash?

I’d love to hear from you; you can leave a comment below.

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When Your Son’s Life Parallels Yours

My son turned 23 the other day, and what stood out to me is just how much his life has paralleled mine so far.

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I thought for a moment that I had a “do-over” in him. And I wondered if a lot of parents think that … they see their son or daughter as a way to correct or change their own path. In some cases, they see their children as a way to fulfill a long-lost dream.

I didn’t dwell on that very long because I realized that he has some living ahead of him that I have no desire to do over.

When I look back, I don’t want to have to finish my education, or decide on a career, or choose a mate, or a number of other things. No, that’s for Mike to go through. All I can do, or want to do, is be a sounding board for him in all those things.

But still, it’s hard not to dream for him and want to make decisions for him when I see him having to make the same decisions and going through the same circumstances as I did.

There are times I want to shout out, “Choose this”, or “Do that and you will save yourself time and pain”.

But that would be cheating him out of figuring out life. That would be keeping him from growing up. That would be preventing him from becoming himself instead of a do-over of dad.

Besides, when we’re 23 there’s something inside us that compels us to experience things for ourselves and not take the advice of the wise sage.

We went out for dinner to celebrate this occasion. And there was a young family who sat at a table across from us: a mom, a dad and a daughter about 6 years old. I looked back at my family, all adults now, and flashed back to remember days long ago when my children were young

How often I have said, “Wow, he’s a lot like me in the way he thinks and the things he does, the choices he makes. Even his physical development parallels mine.”

Mike laughs at me and calls me a fatty. But I look at him, knowing my physique was identical at his age and say, “This is all yours in thirty five years!”

I never had this conversation with my dad, but I know there were lots of parallels between us, too.

Back at home to open presents after dinner, the last present he opened was a new 3 wood. I could see the excitement in his eyes, the longing to get on the golf course and play.

That’s something that he has become passionate about through his friends. It’s also with his friends that he has developed his ability. Though I share the same love for the game, he didn’t catch the bug from me.

But even in that, he parallels my life: picking up the game from a friend and being mentored in golf by him.

What’s good is we can play together and maybe this will be the year he finally beats me.

Here’s the thing:  A relationship with God is personal and though it may look like your journey to God parallels someone else’s, each relationship with God is unique. You can’t replicate your relationship with God in someone else. However, you can fellowship together in your relationships with God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: In what ways has your life paralleled someone else’s?

I would love to hear from you. You can leave your comment below.