I think my firstborn nature is keeping me from reaching one of my goals. There is something about firstborns that they are duty-bound.

They diligently follow through on something until it’s complete. We have a kind of gyroscopic equilibrium deep inside us that does not stabilize until we have done what we think is right.

Of course, what we think is right probably came from all the “no’s” we got from our parents in the first two years of life. The more “no’s” we got back then, the harder it is now to maintain that inner balance.

How this is playing out for me right now is with food and my weight goal. I hope to reach my target weight goal by the end of the month but the problem is we are over a week into the new year and I’m still trying to clean up the excesses of Christmas food.

… Not so much the turkey, more like the candy, baking, and other calorie-laden edibles.

You see, right now along with every meal, I also have to consume morsels of good cheer that are lingering in our pantry and fridge.

And yes, I said “have to” because of my firstborn nature, and the program my parents instilled in me before I was really accountable for anything.

Those Ferrero Rochers HAVE TO be eaten. Lil’s allergic to hazelnuts so I HAVE TO do them in. Then there are the liquorice allsorts and the peanut brittle, and . . . I could go on and on.

I’m not even mentioning the cookies and other baking.

Every time I open the pantry, I start to get vertigo unless I pop something in my mouth. This firstborn thing is really getting to me. I know what I need to be doing, but this thing I have about cleaning up is killing me!

With every piece of chocolate, every Christmas cookie, I sense my cholesterol on the rise. But I say to myself, “It’s just until I get rid of all this stuff.”

The problem is there’s so much of it. And because Lil’s not a firstborn, it’s all on me to do the clean up.

I know, it’s a heavy weight to bear . . . literally.

I have a choice to make. I either gorge myself and get rid of it all quickly (and in the process gain about 10 more pounds), or I slowly kill myself by eating just bits every day.

I think my second choice would take until March which is way past my target weight date. But the other prospect will have me living on my new rowing machine for hours every day to work off the poundage I’ll be putting on.

I just wish my parents hadn’t said “no” so often when I was a child so I didn’t have to say “yes” so often now.

Well it’s morning now, and the cream I’ve been adding to the milk with my cereal is finished so I’m done with that. I will, however, need to finish off Lily’s caramel corn later today.  Man, it never ends.

Here’s the thing: There are a lot of things that we might feel bound to – one of those things should be our spiritual growth. We should have a feeling deep inside that things are not quite right unless we are growing spiritually. We should feel like we are out of sorts unless we take care of our spiritual needs. Stay stabilized and commit to your spiritual growth this year.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you plan to grow spiritually this year? Leave your comment below.