burdens

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Burdens Come Along Too Often

There should be limits to the number of burdens we carry for other people.

We all have to carry burdens in life; I know that, and I’m not talking about physical burdens.

I do remember way back when our kids were in elementary school. Their backpacks were larger than they were, and sometimes weighed about as much as they did.

One false step and they could fall over and turtle until someone could come to their rescue.

But I’m referring to the emotional burdens we carry.

It seems that these kinds of burdens always increase; the weight never or rarely gets lighter. As we get older our burdens increase.

… At least if you have children they increase.

When your kids are young, the emotional burden seems great, and it’s usually around life or death situations, like cuts and scrapes and stubborn wills.

We parents attach ourselves to our kids’ emotions and carry those burdens with us.

When there is a meltdown, we bear that burden until the tears are dried away.

Fortunately, the burdens are short-lived and can be left by the wayside. Unfortunately, when our children are young, the emotional burdens happen rapidly and frequently throughout a day.

It’s good we don’t have to carry them very long.

You might think that as children grow up those emotional burdens would get less and less as the child matures, and takes on more responsibility for his or her life.

But they don’t. The emotional burdens just become larger and longer lasting.

Now, I know we are to carry one another’s burdens – the Bible says we should. But how many burdens can you pile up on one person?

You go from worrying about the spat they had with their sibling, to what kind of a life partner they will find and when that will happen.

You carry the weight of their safety while driving a car you don’t think is that safe any more.  And you carry the burden of wondering how they will afford a new one.

You take on their burden of stress at work, and even the burden of showing up on time to events they have planned.

Our daughter was going to a friend’s wedding across the country. She booked a direct flight that would get her into the airport two and a half hours before the wedding. The wedding was a half hour or so away from the airport.

No problem. She would be picked up by a friend, taken to her hotel, and have enough time to change, do hair and makeup and drive to the wedding.

It was all good – no stress, no burden… until the plane was delayed from take off … twice!

Suddenly, we had the emotional burden for several hours of “Will she make it to the wedding?”

Well, hair was done in the Toronto airport, makeup was put on in the airplane lavatory, and the dress was put on in the Kelowna airport … just in time to be picked up and whisked to the wedding with a few minutes to spare.

Well, that emotional burden is over. I’d like a breather before the next one, thanks.

Here’s the thing: We are not only to carry one another’s burdens, but we are to give our burdens to God. So when you find yourself overwhelmed with emotional burdens, you’re over-burdened because you have kept picking them up without laying them down. Give your burdens – even the ones you carry for others – to God. It will give you greater capacity to keep carrying burdens.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What heavy burden do you need to give to God? Leave your comments below.

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You Need An Outlet In Your Life (part 2)

In my last post (you can read it here) I talked about how we need outlets in our lives for when we find ourselves in times of sustained pressure or burdens of some kind.

wall-outlet

But having one outlet isn’t enough; it will never fit all times and situations. You need several outlets.

In a home, we have many outlets in each room because we need the options. We need several outlets because usually at least one is obstructed, behind a couch or a dresser, not accessible.

With regard to outlets in your life, you need several for the variety of situations that come up.

I have a few outlets that I use at different times. One of my main outlets is sports.

But I can’t use the same one all the time. I can’t mountain bike in the winter or when it’s raining out; I can’t play hockey very much in the summer.

So I need other outlets that I can turn to when one outlet won’t work.

What you need to do is sit down and figure out what an outlet would be for you. It needs to be something you really enjoy, something that is readily available.

For me I can play hockey at noon most days of the week throughout the winter. That gives me options that I can co-ordinate with my schedule.

Find something that you enjoy that has some options or flexibility to it. Alternatively, find something you enjoy and put it into your regular schedule.

Many of us think that enjoyment is something that comes after the work gets done, something that’s an option.

But in many of our lives, the work is never done so outlets are not an option if we want to stay healthy mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Make a list of things you enjoy that you can do on your own, and things you enjoy that you can do with others.

If you’re someone who’s mainly focused on work, this will not be an easy step. Take some time; maybe you will have to discover or develop some things you enjoy doing.

Then you need to schedule them. Commit to using an outlet a few times a week, and slot it in to your schedule from week to week where it works best.

Or you join a class or team and just commit to that regular schedule.

Be cautious of only having outlets that only involve you. When the pressure is particularly great, it will be easy to bail out of it, since you’re not letting anyone else down if you do.

Sometimes the motivation isn’t there when it’s just something you are going to do by yourself. I’ve found it difficult in the last couple of weeks to hit the trails on my mountain bike. It seems to take a lot of extra effort to get going when it’s just me. I’ve backed out a few times lately.

Having that list and scheduling your outlets will really help keep you from being crushed under the pressure or burden of life and work.

Here’s the thing: Ask God for His help in finding an outlet and for the motivation to use an outlet when the pressure or burden seems too much. God is faithful and will help us at those times if we seek Him.

That’s Life!

Paul