Christmas

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Tattoos and Hand Grenades

Last night we had company for dinner.  My job was to get the house ready, which consisted of a little vacuuming and bathroom inspection.  I wish it had been just bathroom inspection, but I had to do some cleaning as well.

While I was doing the vacuuming, I noticed some marks on the kitchen floor.  I thought they were crumbs but the vacuum cleaner wouldn’t suck them up.  When I looked at them a little closer, I figured out what those marks were.

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It all goes back to Christmas morning . . . Each Christmas, Lily asks me to find something to go in the kids’ stockings (she doesn’t have the gift of buying creative stocking stuffers).  I don’t really look for items that are perfect for each individual; I generally look for items that will get a reaction of some kind.

This year, I found two items that I thought would spark some excitement and create a buzz around the tree Christmas morning.  The first item was tattoos.  Now these aren’t the kind of tattoos you lick and press on to you skin – these were way bigger!  They were sleeves of tattoos and I gave everyone a pack.

I liked them so much I wore mine all day long.  I was going to wear it to bed that night, but I thought that might be too much.  It was something like a skin coloured stocking material that had tattoo designs all over it.  It was awesome!  I looked like I played in the NBA or belonged in “the hood”.  Believe me, I looked real cool!

The other item raised some eyebrows and relates back to the marks on the kitchen floor.  What I put in everyone’s stockings this year were hand grenades.  You heard me right, and I got them from the dollar store, no less!  Next time you are thinking of firearms, head right to Dollarama – they have a good supply.

I didn’t really read the package, though.  I knew they exploded somehow and that was good enough for me.  We all needed to be armed Christmas morning.  When everyone opened their stockings, they got a chuckle.  Mike was the first to decide to try them out.  He opened his pack, squeezed a grenade a few times, and threw it towards his mother.

Within seconds, it exploded.  There were shrieks, not so much from the noise (though it had a good explosion sound to it) but from the shrapnel that was left on the floor (liquid and white marks) that got the reaction.  We were suddenly scrambling out to get towels to save the living room rug and hardwood floor.

Who would have known that the hand grenade was loaded with vinegar and baking soda?  Well, maybe someone who read the package, but I certainly hadn’t so it was a surprise to me.  We decided that the living room should be off limits to grenades, so a couple more got tossed in the kitchen … hence the shrapnel marks that didn’t seem to come off the kitchen floor … or the walls.

Apparently, Lily cleaned the floor several times and still there is shrapnel from the war on Christmas morning littering the countryside (I mean, the kitchen).  It was like the Middle East – bombs going off right there in front of the manger scene!  I hope she forgets this one by next Christmas.

Here’s the thing: Reading what’s on a package can really help you make good decisions.  It can also keep you from making poor decisions.  We have God’s Word that can do the same for real life.  Let me suggest that this year we all set a goal to read through the Bible, or at least to regularly read passages of it.

Until Next Time!

Pastor Paul

Question: How do you keep from making poor decisions? Leave your comment below.

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The New Christmas Reality

I wrote this Christmas morning when I got up and read it to my family before we started opening stockings and gifts.  Hope you all had a Merry Christmas!

There is a new reality in our house on Christmas Day.  The “no one was stirring, not even a mouse” has stretched from night time to well into the morning at our place.  The only problem with that is my internal clock is set for the same time 365 days of the year and I can’t just turn it off.

I get up each day at 6 am to spend some time with God.  On Christmas morning, because I’d been up so late the night before, I did sleep in a little.  I got up at 7:30, and let me tell you, only the turtle was stirring!  He actually seemed excited about Christmas … or maybe he was just hungry.  Anyway, it’s a far cry from years ago when the house was buzzing before 6 am.

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I remember those days: the calls from another room, “Can we open our stockings now?”; those extra bodies crawling into our bed, trying to get some leverage to push me out; or the lifting of my eyelids and asking, “Are you awake, Daddy?”

There is one good thing about the new reality.  Santa doesn’t have to get to our place in the middle of the night.  He can show up in the morning and get all the stockings squared away, guaranteed not to wake anyone up!

And forget the milk and cookies.  He has a full breakfast and makes it himself!  Not even the noise of the pots and pans shook the Christmas slumber from the children all snuggled in their beds.

The stillness is nice; it’s calming and thought-provoking … Speaking of thoughts, it’s too bad the World Junior Hockey tourney didn’t start this morning – that might have gotten some action in our house, at least from the other male in our residence.

On Christmas Eve, I vaguely heard some negotiations about when things would start Christmas morning.  I heard the time “11 am”, but I think there was some push back on that proposal, so I didn’t know when our house would come alive with the sound of stockings being emptied and wrapping paper being ripped.

We rip wrapping paper now.  Back when I was a kid, apparently there was a shortage of paper because my mom made us take the paper off presents carefully so we could save it for another year.  I’m sure glad we discovered all those trees in Northern Ontario so we can just rip the paper off and throw it right into the garbage (I mean the recycling bin … can you recycle wrapping paper?)

This new reality is sure different than in the past.  I’m not sure I like it.  I’m not sure it’s all that productive.  There are some good portions of the day we’re missing out on!  Then again, getting an early start was more important in the days we had toys to deal with.  I needed time to test some of them out to see if they worked properly.

Here’s the thing: As we get older we lose some of the excitement we once had for Christmas.  It doesn’t have the same magical charm it once had.  Rather than starting out with a great flourish of activity, now it starts more like every other day of the week. There is nothing wrong with that but, if that same attitude affects our excitement and wonder of Christ’s birth we nullify the purpose of the day.  To keep the excitement, the wonder in Christmas, insert your favourite Bible translation of Luke 2:1-20 here.

Until Next Year!

Pastor Paul

Question: How do you keep the wonder and awe of Christ’s birth in Christmas Day?

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The Longest Night Ever

Note: There will be no blog on Tuesday I’m going to take a break for Christmas.  So, today I want to share with you one of my favourite Christmas memories growing up.  I want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and may God bless you in 2013.

Like most kids growing up, Christmas was a pretty exciting time for my brother and I.  John is just two years younger than me and we would fuel each other’s excitement.

We were notorious for getting up very early Christmas morning. We would often sneak out of our room, only to hear a voice from another bedroom boom, “GET BACK TO BED!”  That would send us backtracking really fast.

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One year, neither of us could sleep all night. It was literally agony lying in bed, thinking about the presents that might be under the tree, and not being able to open them. John and I shared a bedroom, which only made it harder to sleep as we kept talking about what we might be getting that year.

To make matters worse, we didn’t have a clock in our room. After a while, we couldn’t handle the waiting, so we decided to go on recognizance missions to find out what time it was. That meant we had to sneak through the hall undetected, creep through the living room with the Christmas tree glistening in the moonlight, past the stockings on the couch, through to the dining room, to the clock on the wall.

I went first, and to my great disappointment, I discovered it was only 1:30 am – oh, it was going to be a long night! On my way back, I couldn’t help but notice the stockings full to the brim, with a three-pack of underwear sticking out the top (Santa always brought underwear). Accidentally brushing the underwear with my hand, I notice something else sticking out the top of our handmade, wouldn’t fit anyone sized, Christmas stockings.

I snuck back to our room, hardly able to contain myself with excitement, and whispered at barely lower than an yell, “WE GOT ARMY MEN!”  (Hey, that’s a big deal when you’re 5 and 7.)

It took a while for us to recover from that mission behind enemy lines, but after what seemed like an eternity, it was John’s turn to check the time. He did a masterful job of getting out of our room undetected. When he got back, he shared some more news of what was in our stockings and told me the time was 10 after 4. We were closing in on 7 am when our parents said we could get up.

After another long time, it was my turn to go back. I used all my sleuthing skills to be quiet and went straight for the clock. I was shocked; I had to look at it a second time. It was only 3 am!  I turned and headed back to our room.

John had a problem with hands on the clock and he had mixed them up when checking the time. Instead of being 10 after 4, it was really 20 after 2 when he had gone. I had no option … he needed a beating for that mistake.

We had trundle beds in our room, which meant John’s bed slid under my bed in the day, and at night pulled out beside mine. This was to my advantage. Not only was I two years older and maybe an inch taller, but my bed being above his, gave me an extra foot of leverage. I took my pillow and beat him silly with it. He looked like a drunken sailor wobbling back and forth, until he collapsed on his bed in a heap.

At that point, I thought that night would never end. I thought we would never get to opening up our presents. But we did … and my brother John is still alive.

Here’s the thing: I wonder what kind of night it was in heaven as all the angels waited, anticipating the birth of Christ. We know they couldn’t contain themselves when the baby was born. They joined the angel who announced the birth to the shepherds and sang, “Glory to God in the highest heaven and on earth, peace to those on whom his favour rests.”  We should be that excited about Christ our Saviour!

Merry Christmas,

Pastor Paul

Question: What excites you most about Christmas?  Leave your comment below.

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Is Christmas Early This Year, Or Is It Me?

I’m having a late start to the Christmas season this year.  I’m not sure why, but in some people’s minds that makes me the grinch.  My associate sure thinks so.  When he told me he’s been listening to Christmas music for the last few weeks, I kind of shuddered at the thought.  That’s when he said, “You’re the Grinch!” and screwed up his face to look like him … all he was missing was green coloured skin and the picture would have been complete!

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I don’t think anyone’s ever compared me to the Grinch before – and I don’t think it’s a fitting description of me!  I check my heart rate every day and it beats the same.  There’s no way my heart has grown smaller, and I’ve never dreamt about those “Who’s down in Whoville”.

My mood started on November 26th, Thanksgiving Day in the US.  For us in Canada, it was just another work day; we had our Thanksgiving early in October.

I was in my car with my radio tuned to my regular rock station.  There was a Christmas song playing.  I didn’t think too much of it until the next song was also a Christmas song.  That’s when the announcer said they were only going to play Christmas music until Christmas Day.

I immediately turned to another station and haven’t tuned back in since.  It just seemed way too early to be listening to old rock stars like Bruce Springsteen sing “Merry Christmas Baby” or the Beach Boys harmonizing their “Little Saint Nick” tune.

It’s not that I cringe when I hear Christmas music or see things like Christmas lights on other houses.  … Mind you, my wife had been reminding me that Christmas was only a few weeks away and I still hadn’t put up the lights on our house.  Okay, so I was a little late with that.  (I finally did put them up on the weekend.)  I figure it’s saved us a few dollars on our electricity bill and that’s not a bad thing.

There are reasons why I’m late with the lights.  That job used to be something I did with my daughter.  Every year we would try to pick the coldest day possible and then we would go out together and put up the lights.  Well, she’s been out west for the last six Christmases – abandoned me – so, I don’t have her help.  My son, well, he has yet to be inspired to pick up the yearly task with his dear old dad.  You can see why I’m a little tardy with the lights.

And though I’ve been working on Christmas themed messages for two weeks at work, I still haven’t got into the Christmas mood.  Even all the decorations at church haven’t seemed to penetrate my emotions.

You know, now that I think of it, maybe I AM the Grinch, or am having grinch-like symptoms.  I wonder if I caught it from someone or whether I’m just run down and the virus found me?  Maybe it’s none of that; maybe it’s that we don’t have snow, the grass is still green and it’s +10C (50F) out today and raining!

Here’s the thing:  We have made Christmas into a season, a feeling.  We have built it up into this amazing time of good cheer.  There’s nothing at all wrong with that, but if all that replaces our appreciation of Jesus’ birth and worship of Him, that’s when we miss the point.  … I’m still looking forward to Christmas dinner!

Until Next Time!

Pastor Paul

Question:  What distracts you from the real celebration of Christmas?  Leave your comment before.