I have no voice and only one day now to find it. Tomorrow I will be preaching at church and today I sound like Marlon Brando from the Godfather.
For that movie, I understand they put cotton balls in his cheeks to help give him that sound. I don’t need the cotton, it’s all natural, listen … “I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse”. Not bad, eh?
I know you can’t hear that but, take it from me, I sound just like Don Corleone. And that’s my problem! I need to sound like Paul Silcock by tomorrow at 10:30 am, so you can bet I will be trying all the remedies I’ve heard in the past.
I’ll be checking the internet for solutions, because I understand doctors do that, too. Today I’m going to soothe my throat with some “Fisherman’s Friends” lozenges … hourly.
I don’t really like the taste of them but they’re supposed to be great if you’re fishing in the ocean around the Bay of Fundy on a stormy day. I’ll only be trolling for amens in a warm and dry sanctuary tomorrow, so they should work there, too.
If my mother-in-law finds out what state I’m in she will be pushing echinacea on me. I had a difficult time finding the spelling for echinacea and that goes with the difficult time I have in figuring out what it actually does.
But that doesn’t matter. My mother-in-law thinks echinacea works for pretty much any ailment you might have.
I’m not one for taking medicine of any kind, but I think I might have to take a trip to the drug store and find some magic elixir that will do something to my throat to release my vocal chords from the prison they find themselves in right now.
Then there is my congregation to think about. They may enjoy a more soft spoken, gentler, mafia-sounding preacher for a change.
I think if I ended my sermon with something like “Today God’s making you an offer you can’t refuse”, I may need some help with all the people that might come forward.
I’m really glad that I live in this time period; I have so many help options to choose from. If I lived an hundred years ago, not only would I not have many solutions, I probably wouldn’t have a microphone to help magnify my voice.
One thing is for sure, I’m not putting Vicks VapoRub on my chest. My mother did that to me as a kid, and I hated it. Now I have hair on my chest; there is just no way I’m dealing with that mess!
Nor will I try my Dad’s old remedy of eating onion sandwiches. He would get those little onions and slice them up, arrange the slices on two pieces of toast and enjoy. He probably got that idea from my grandmother. I hate onions.
Well I’ll let you know what happens.
Here’s the thing: There are many things I could do to help my sore throat, and I will try some. But the thing that I’m counting on, what I’m putting my hope in, is God making my voice work tomorrow. I’m praying that He will give me a voice. That doesn’t mean I won’t try anything else, but He’s my first and main source of help for my situation.
That’s Life!
Paul
Question: How do you treat a sore throat or laryngitis? Leave your comment below.