dead

by

I Had To Wonder If I Was Still Alive

The other day I had to pinch myself to see if I was still alive. That’s right, it was a scary moment for me.

A few weeks ago I had to renew my driver’s license. I filled out the paper work, got my picture taken and then waited for my new license to arrive in the mail.

Well, it arrived alright and when I looked at the picture on my new license, I wasn’t a hundred percent sure that the picture of the guy on the license wasn’t dead!

That’s when I pinched myself.

My eyes were open in the picture but that was the only thing that made the picture look like there was possible life there.

I understand the aging process, but how do you go from looking like you were alive five years ago to dead now?

There were some other factors that came into play with the picture, the main factor being the quality of the photo.

I’ve stepped into one of those shopping mall photo booths before, and for a couple of bucks you get a string of pictures that are pretty poor in quality.

The thing is you are usually making funny faces so, first of all, you look like you are alive, and second, your face is lit up by the flash so that you can tell the blood is still flowing through your veins.

When I got my driver’s license, there was a flash that nearly blinded me but it didn’t brighten anything up. The fact that the license is grey in colour only accentuates the lifeless look of the picture.

The next time I have to get a new driver’s license I’m going to put on makeup. I don’t have bags under my eyes but apparently under certain conditions I do!

The worker who was serving me wasn’t a photographer – I realize that. She did warn me not to smile, but come on! When she looked at the picture on the screen, why didn’t she gasp and say, “We better take that one again, sir. You look like you’re dead.”

I think if I worked at it I could look a little cheery even without smiling. I just needed a second chance.

I’m the one who’s carrying around the picture of the dead guy in my wallet for the next five years. You would think they could turn the screen around and ask me if I was okay with that picture before it was printed and laminated on my card.

I hope I don’t get pulled over by the police because I might get arrested for driving with no vital signs!

I’m thinking maybe I should try to photoshop my driver’s license. Then I could add a smile and cover up the bags under my eyes.

Maybe all I need to do is add a twinkle in my eyes to show I’m still kicking.

Don’t give up on me.

Here’s the thing: There are many people who are walking around like they are alive but a picture of their souls would prove that they were really dead spiritually. When you physically die, it’s too late to change the condition of your soul. The great thing is that while you are still physically alive, trusting your life to Christ will change the condition of your soul and give it life – life that you will keep right through eternity.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What is the condition of your soul? Leave your comments below.

by

Santa Is Dead

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I don’t think Santa is coming back next year.

I am fully aware that it is March and we are far, far from that time of year when the jolly old fella usually shows up. However, I just happened to be driving by a house in a nearby subdivision and there was Santa lying on the ground. Pictures don’t lie … and the spears that have pinned him and his trusty helpers to the ground, don’t bode well for his return next December.

Dead Santa

No, I don’t believe in Santa Claus, but I do believe in keeping your decorations applicable to the season. I understand that some people leave their Christmas lights up all year long, but if you don’t look up too high you don’t even notice them.

Lawn ornaments, though? Come on! How hard is it to pack Santa up and put him a box? He’s already been deflated; there’s no HO, HO, HO left in him. I think the kids on the street would become a little suspect that Santa isn’t real when he is laying dead on your doorstep for three months.

As I have looked around the neighbourhood, I’ve seen lots of Christmas ornaments still on display. There was a plastic snowman on a lawn the other night with a light still shining brightly inside him. This weekend was St. Patrick’s Day – at least put a shamrock or a green scarf around his neck!

I’ll admit I’m not the first guy to take down his lights after Christmas. I usually miss the first warm day and end up taking them down when it’s freezing outside. But I get the job done by the middle of January at the latest!

Last year as I was walking around our neighbourhood, I noticed there were lots of people who still had their Christmas lights up in April and May. By looking at the condition of some of the lights, it was apparent they had been there for several years.

Maybe those people lost their ladder. Maybe their garage is so packed that the ladder is buried in there somewhere. Maybe they figure they don’t have room for lights in the basement or garage so they just leave them up.

I think that if you leave your Christmas decoration up all year you have to use them in some way, like maybe change the lightbulbs to pink and blue and white for Easter. Have your blow up Santa hold a big old Pysanka (Ukrainian Easter egg).

On Canada Day, change your lights to red and white and have your blow up reindeer sport Canadian flag saddles. On Labour Day, place them all working in the garden.

Maybe we should have a law that you get a $25 fine for having Christmas decorations up past February 1st. Here’s an idea: JUST TAKE DOWN YOUR CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS!

Here’s the thing: Sometimes we don’t deal with the sin in our lives right away. It becomes clutter in our relationship with God. We need to pay attention to the clutter or we get used to having it in our lives. The best way to take down the clutter or sin is through regular confession to God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What tends to clutter you home, yard, life? Leave your comment below.