develop

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How Children Develop

I have watched my children grow up and I have enjoyed every stage of their development. Now that my children have reached the stage that they are out on their own, I’m enjoying that part too.

IMG_1648It’s good on a couple of levels. It’s nice to have my house to myself … with my wife, of course. It’s also great to see them stand on their own two feet and makes me proud that, in all those years, our parenting has worked.

Lily and I actually accomplished something! I know parents since Adam and Eve have achieved this marvel, but to each parent it’s truly an amazing revelation.

… I think my parents were in shock for a lot longer than most.

But as much as our children have exercised their wings and been flying on their own, it’s not like they have it all together.

It’s just impossible for them to leave home, set up their own dwelling and be able to have it all together like an adult of, let’s say, late 50’s (very late).

The other night my wife and I were staying with our daughter in her home. In the past three years we have gone from sleeping on the floor when we’ve been there to sleeping on an air mattress.

This time, however, we were upgraded again to a sofa bed. My daughter – I’m so proud of her – we actually slept on something that resembles a real bed in her home!

But as happy as I was to sleep on her new sofa bed, she has to get some pillows!

I didn’t get the soundest of sleeps because the pillow I was provided with was so thin my head was barely lifted above the mattress.

You know how those microfibre blankets are so thin, yet provide a great deal of warmth? Well, it doesn’t work with pillows. Micro-thin pillows are an oxymoron for no pillow at all.

I had the feeling that I was sleeping downhill. Every time I turned in bed I had to fold the pillow in half just so the blood wouldn’t rush to my head. When I changed my sleeping position I kind of woke up in order to keep my melon from slipping off my origami cushion.

I have already reverted to engaging my parental mode by thinking of how I might purchase new pillows for her, which would actually not be for her but for me.

I used to buy her pillows when she lived at home and never thought anything of it. Now that she has her own home, I’m still thinking of making sure she has adequate night gear for her visitors.

It’s like she is in this quasi-state of being all grown up but not fully capable of looking after herself. But as her Dad, I kind of think I’ll always see her a little like that.

I’m going to resist buying that pillow, even if I have to use duct tape to keep that darn pillow folded.

Here’s the thing: As Christians we are loved by God. He loves us just the way we are, but more than that, He loves to see us progress, grow and become more mature in our faith. Though God would like us to have it all together and be just like His Son, He is patient, gracious and loving no matter what stage we are at. God loves you and roots for you to keep on growing in Christ. Let’s keep growing.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What is it about your maturing process that makes you thankful God is patient with you? Leave your comment below.

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How To Develop Neatness in Your Children

I wonder if neatness is something that you grow into, just like you grow into new sizes of clothes and how you grow into a new set of teeth. It just happens as you get older.

Black & white (Ex)

My son, Mike, has been home for the last week, in-between places. The old apartment lease was up at the end of the month but the new place, which I like to call the “Park St. I Palace” (or PIP for short), was not ready yet.

I call the new place the PIP because it’s on Park Street and it’s all about being independent and out of all the grungy holes he’s lived in while at university. This place is palatial!

So with this transition period, Mike needed a place to store his furniture and stuff. The furniture we put in the garage, and the stuff, well, it took over three rooms in the house and then leaked a little more into the living room and a bathroom.

Whoa! I forgot what his room was like when he was in high school; now there’s just more of it. I remember being messy when I lived at home (and I wouldn’t say that I’m a neat freak now), but Mike takes messy to a new level of disorder.

Since I’m much neater now, I figure there is a chance Mike will become neater, too. You see, he just hasn’t grown into his neatness yet.

The thing is, you can predict when you grow into some things, like your new teeth. It starts happening around six and by about twelve you have your new set that will last you a lifetime … or until you get a few knocked out playing hockey or something.

But you can’ t predict when you’ll grow into your neatness. For our daughter Karlie, I think it was somewhere between her second and third year of university.

For me, my neatness didn’t come until after I was married, and then there was some mandatory instruction that came with it via my wife.

Possibly, it’ll take a similar scenario for Mike to really grow into his neatness … but he’s pretty remedial so I’m not sure it will be easy on her, whoever that might be.

Some good news for everyone involved in this transition was that the PIP was ready earlier than anticipated and he moved in on Saturday. I helped a little and what I liked right away was the smell of fresh paint when I walked in. The place was clean and bright.

As I looked around at how nice a spot it was, I wondered if he will grow into his neatness there in the PIP. You never know what might kick off a growth spurt.

The great thing for Lily and me is the dishevelled look of the house has returned to its original state. For Lily this is a blessing because now she’s just back to picking up after one mess monster instead of two.

Here’s the thing: We might think we will naturally grow in our relationship with God. But our human tendency is to grow apart from Him. We must make a conscious effort and take specific steps to grow closer to Christ. We must put ourselves in a place where we are learning and discovering and applying His principles to our lives – like being mentored, or joining a small group, or taking a class, or studying the Bible on your own.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question:  So what are you doing to grow in Christ? I’d love to hear from you; you can leave a comment below.