I Can Predict Stress In Others

There are times when stress can be very predictable: when you are moving into the last phase of a project and experiencing a time crunch, or when there is a lot on the line and there’s no margin for error.

… Or when you are going to a Christmas gathering with family. 

Family times when I was young were never stressful, but I do remember that my mom especially would show signs of stress at some points. 

Now, as an adult, I understand the stress that is involved in family Christmas gatherings. And sometimes that stress makes everything a little more taxing on our emotions. 

For instance, each Christmas we do a trip up to Ottawa and a trip down to Toronto to cover both sides of our family.

Though we have to travel, we also have some responsibilities in the preparation of the events. 

For the trip to Ottawa, I, apparently, had to bring my computer for a game. Lil, well, she just had to buy some presents, wrap them, make a salad and cook one main dish for the meal.

For my role, I needed to plug the charger into my computer to be sure the battery was at 100% and I had to cut out of hockey early to make sure I was home in time to leave. 

Now this is an aside, but it seems that every time we get extra ice time, I have some commitment preventing me from staying as long as I’d like. 

This was the case this morning. I stayed longer than I should have and was all prepared for a lecture on tardiness and that we should have already left.

That didn’t happen because Lil was busy putting the final touches on the salad and bemoaning the fact that she burnt the meatballs.

She had me taste one to see if they were really burnt and, yes, they were. Apparently she had forgotten to turn the slow cooker off at midnight.

So a discussion took place about what we could do. There was one opinion of, “Hey, sometimes you get burnt meat balls; no big deal!” 

But Lil didn’t want to bring inferior food. 

So, at the last minute, I headed to the grocery store to buy more meatballs while Lily made more sauce. The plan was to start cooking the new batch in the slow cooker at home and then continue the cooking process in the slow cooker in the vehicle on our drive to Ottawa.

Saturday mornings are usually pretty quiet and calm around here, but this morning we had two extra bodies with our kids home for Christmas and, of course, we had the stress of getting up to Ottawa with food for family Christmas dinner.

I thought once we were in the car some of the stress would be gone … but there were road conditions, the speed of the driver, and who was in control of the music.

… All those variables have the potential of raising the stress in the vehicle.

And all this stress is caused by expectations – what certain people expect, and what they think others will expect. It is compounded when other people in the family don’t live up to expectations or they don’t help others meet their expectations.

… Our two hour drive gave us time to refocus on relating to one another rather than the expectations we each had had.

Here’s the thing:  We can be stressed with God if we feel we are not meeting His expectations. We could even be stressed thinking that God is not helping us meet our expectations. But if you simply stop thinking about His expectations and start to thinking about His love for you, that will influence your actions, responses and thoughts … and remove your stress.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has you stressed lately? Leave your comments below.

Is it Really Over?

Today’s post is from a guest writer, my wife. Every now and then Lily gets inspired to write a post of her own. It comes at the right time to give me a little break. Merry Christmas and enjoy.

It’s December 26th and, just like that, it’s over. 

In the last few weeks, we bought presents, baked, decorated two trees, strung lights, put up decorations, organized costumes and children programs, prepared readings, gave gifts, cooked food, planned services, set up extra beds, wrapped presents, delivered poinsettias, sang carols … and now it’s over.

Our daughter has packed up and gone home; our son will leave later today. Work is calling.

December 25th was a peaceful day. The hustle and bustle of the previous weeks stopped and we paused to gather and celebrate, eat, relax and reflect. It was Christmas. 

As I went for a walk this morning – the morning after – the neighbourhood was still fairly quiet … just a few signs of life, of people stirring after a day of quiet and peaceful celebration. 

A few cars were warming up in driveways, getting ready to take their owners back home from the holiday. Two people were out walking their dogs, getting back into routine after a day of relaxing.

But as I turned a corner, I saw a sight that stopped me in my tracks. A woman was hauling a Christmas tree out her front door. She lugged it down the driveway and heaved it into the back of a pick-up truck. And there it lay, upside-down and bare, except for one lonely piece of tinsel that stubbornly clung to one of its branches. 

I couldn’t help but notice that it was a beautiful tree. It had a perfect conical shape, and was a lovely shade of green. It still looked very much alive … and very out-of-place dumped in the back of a truck like garbage.

To think that the day before it had been the centrepiece of that home, beautifully adorned with hundreds of lights, and carefully chosen ornaments. 

And in a mere 24 hours it had gone from the home’s showpiece to a meaningless extra that was quickly discarded. 

The sight somehow made me sad. … Was it really all over that quickly? Done? Finished? Discarded for another year? … Do I already need to start packing everything away?

Christmas Day seems like a serene pause in an otherwise chaotic world. It’s the only day that seems to have that effect on our society, our world. I wish it didn’t have to end!

But does it?

Sure, the trees and decorations eventually need to come down. And yes, most of us need to return to work … and for sure all of us need to stop binging on Christmas baking.

But, when you think about it, Christmas was never meant to be a one day celebration!

Christmas is when we celebrate the birth of Jesus. In Matthew 1:20 in the Bible, it says, “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel.”

Immanuel – God with us. 

The Almighty God of the universe is with us. His appearance and presence on this earth was not a one day event. He is Immanuel, God with us … still … now.

Here’s the thing: God with us … Why would we ever want to discard that truth or even pack it up and ignore it most of the year? When you think about it, God should be the centrepiece and focus of our lives all year round, not discarded like an old Christmas tree the day after Christmas.

Merry Christmas!

Lily

Just In Time For Christmas!

Just two days before Christmas we got a light covering of snow here in Kingston, Ontario. The white stuff came just in time for Christmas day. 

Some how, for us living in Canada, the presence of snow puts us in the Christmas mood. It feels like Christmas when everything glistens in white under the moon.  Snow makes Christmas.

There is a passage in the Bible that says, “But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, subject to the law.”

Like the snow came at just the right time, this year, Jesus came to us at just the right time.

That passage goes on to say, “God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children.” (Galatians 4:4-5, NLT)

At just the right time, Jesus came, so that we could be made right with God. God wanted us to be part of his family, and Jesus makes it possible.

Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones.

And thank you for reading my blog.

That’s Life!

Paul

Goals Can Become Discouraging

Goals are good to have, but when you fail at a goal it’s not easy to get back on track – especially if you have to start over.

I have an Apple Watch which I use to track my fitness every day. I track how much I stand each day, the time I spend exercising each day, and how many calories I burn each day – that’s called my “move” goal. 

On August 28, 2017 I missed reaching my move goal for the day. 

That was no big deal in itself, but I had not missed a move goal in 231 days. I had really wanted to go 365 days in a row of making my daily move goal, and I had been well on my way. 

You can imagine how disappointed I was. (You can read about that here.)

The toughest thing to get my head around was that I had to start back at day one. I had to go 231 days just to get back to even. 

Well, I sputtered a bit. 

I went 68 days in a row and then blew it. I kept slipping up and having to start my streak over. 

On April 28th I missed my move again … but that was the last time I did. 

Just the other day, I beat my old streak of 231 days in a row of making my move goal! 

Now every day I set a new record. I’m back on track to reach that goal of mine to have 365 consecutive days of meeting my move goal. 

It took me eight months to get back to a consistency with my move. 

There is a chance every day that I might miss it. For instance, yesterday I had to drive to Toronto and back. That’s a long time sitting in a car.  

Every day now I have to be conscious of what I do so that I don’t slip up and have to start all over again. 

When I was a kid we would play four square at recess every day. 

It was so popular that there was a line up of kids waiting just to get into the first square. As kids would get knocked out of the squares, I would move closer to getting into the grid. 

When you got there, you didn’t want to leave. You were playing the game. It was exciting; you didn’t want to stop. 

But one false move and you went to the back of the line … and waited for your turn again. 

With my move goal, it seems like these past eight months I’ve been in line, waiting for my turn. 

But now I’m on the grid and I don’t want to get out of the action. Each day the pressure is on to keep making it. 

All I can do is keep moving and stay alert.

Here’s the thing: If you are a follower of Christ, you have a goal of pleasing Him every day. It gets discouraging if you consistently miss that goal. So try for consistency. There are two things you need to be aware of: First, when you miss, you are not out of the game. It might feel like you went to the back of the line, but you’re still playing. And second, be alert. It’s so much better when you are on the squares pleasing Him with your life and relationships. So watch out for things that could knock you off the grid.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you find can get you off your game plan in pleasing God? Leave your comments below.

I’m Fighting Pain With Pain

Almost every impulse and thought we have tells us to avoid pain when we are already in pain. 

If you have a headache, you try to alleviate the pain – you don’t look to increase it. What you want most is for the pain to go away. 

We take pills to rid us of headaches. We protect wounds from getting bumped. When something gives us pain, we avoid doing what brought the pain in the first place. 

The medical profession, however, seems to go against that thinking. 

When something is broken, injured or not right, they will often place you in a more painful situation in an attempt to fix the first pain you had.

I’ve been living for the last few months with a pain in my elbow. I looked it up and what I have is golfer’s elbow – it’s like tennis elbow, only on the inside of the elbow. 

It’s the result of a repetitive action that causes micro tears in the tendon. I wrote about it here.

I’ve tried a few things to get rid of it. 

First I tried to not use that arm. I picked things up with my other hand, and avoided turning things or holding things for a long time with my left hand. I stopped using my rowing machine and even stopped playing hockey for a few weeks. 

But none of these things seemed to help. 

Then I got an elbow brace – a tensor band that tightens just below the elbow joint. It has a pad built in that puts pressure on the tendon and provides pain relief when you are using it. 

A couple of times I had to loosen the brace because it was cutting off the circulation in my arm, but I started playing hockey again.

Still my elbow was not getting better. 

I really didn’t know what else to do. My research showed that rest is important, but I had tried that. Cortisone shots apparently could help, but I don’t like needles. 

Then I heard about shockwave therapy. 

It sounded pretty cool, and I knew someone who had a shockwave machine. He’s a veterinarian who specializes in race horses. He offered to treat my elbow and I decided to take him up on it. 

He told me it would hurt. … There’s that pain thing: my elbow already hurt, and this shockwave would add pain to my pain. 

But it was all for a good cause – to make my first pain go away – so I decided to try it. 

Man, it hurt! Shockwave is a forced air gun, with very high pressure, that send shots of air onto your skin. 

It was like a jack hammer on my skin and bone. It may have only lasted two or three minutes, but it seemed like it was a long time. 

Now I have a week to determine if another treatment would be helpful. 

As crazy as it sounds, I think that if it helps decrease my elbow pain, I will put myself through another two or three minutes of pain again. 

Crazy, eh?

Here’s the thing: When you are in spiritual pain, whether that has to do with sin in your life, running from God, living with unforgiveness, or a host of other things, you just want the pain to go away. Don’t sweep that pain under the rug and try to live with it. As painful as it might be, face the pain and do what might be painful to rid yourself of your spiritual pain.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What’s causing pain in your life right now? Leave your comments below.

I’m Not A Procrastinator

Some people are procrastinators. They work opposite to Nike’s motto of “Just do it” … But why?

Why do some people delay what they know they have to do? 

I should know the answer to that question because I am one of those people. I don’t procrastinate with everything, and I try to do it less and less, but I am a procrastinator.  

I prefer to call it “delayed action”. I know I have to do something; I just delay in doing it. 

For instance, yesterday I posted seven weeks of material to a website that I maintain. 

It took a while because there was minor editing to be done for each of the seven posts. I also had to gather three documents, and write a summary for each of the posts. 

I know why I delayed my action: I didn’t want to spend the time. It took a lot of time to edit and upload those seven posts. 

The reason I got behind, though, and the reason I procrastinated was that I had a problem with the first post that I wasn’t sure I could solve. As a result, each week I put my work off because that first post was still not ready. 

After seven weeks, I finally tried to solve the problem and it turned out not to be much of a problem at all. It was more in my head than anything else. 

And that is why some people procrastinate. They think the task is too big and so they don’t start, or they get into the task and come up against a seemingly big obstacle and so they stop. 

I have to write out thirty Christmas cards with different greetings in them. It’s something that I’m not looking forward to. 

I want to delay my action on the task because it seems like it will take too long. It will cut into the other things I want to do today.

The truth is, when I actually sit down and write out those cards, that task will cut into anything I want to do.

But again, at the source of the delay is a problem I don’t want to solve. The problem is figuring out what I will write in all those cards. 

People who procrastinate somehow see a problem that is insurmountable. They also don’t take much time to think about the problem. 

If they took the time to investigate the problem, they would often find that the problem is not that big of a deal. There is a simple or easy solution to most problems. 

But, for the procrastinator, any problem or potential problem seems like a major road block … and so the work halts.

Often the work has to get done, so it doesn’t halt indefinitely. At some point – like with my posts to the web – one has to buckle down and get at it. 

That’s when the procrastinator declares, “I work better under pressure.” 

Not true. … The person who delays action just has a phobia towards problems. 

Here’s the thing: There is a problem we all have and that is sin. Sin is anything that misses God’s desired will for you. Do we deal with it or do we ignore it? That problem leaves us all at the doorstep of delayed action. The thing is sin doesn’t go away and it will have to be dealt with. In fact, Christ dealt with it already on the cross. Your job then is to confess and repent of it. And my advice is don’t procrastinate. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you tend to delay action on? Leave your comments below.

I Returned To The Scene Of The Crime

I’ve been told that a criminal should never go back to the scene of the crime. I wonder if that applies to innocent bystanders?

In the last three weeks I’ve written about this incident twice. The first time, I wrote about being in a hospital emergency room when two shots were fired (you can read about that here). Then I wrote about having to give a witness statement to the police (you can read about that here). 

I really thought I was finished writing about this incident, but something came up last night and it has me thinking about the whole incident again. 

Yesterday morning I was getting ready for work and we got a call. Our church caretaker had had a stroke and was in the hospital … in emergency. 

At the time I didn’t think anything of it. I planned to visit him later in the day, but first I had a sermon to write, and a few other pressing matters that needed to be addressed. Besides, I knew he wasn’t going anywhere. 

My plan was to visit him at the end of my day; he would likely be in a hospital ward room by then. 

The day zoomed along, and finally I hopped in the car to make my way to the hospital. 

This has become an all too familiar trip for me in the last months. I have more hospital parking charges on my credit card than any other kind of charge. I’ve been to the hospital far too much for my liking.  

I parked the car in the hospital parkade and walked across the street to the main entrance. 

I had two visits to make – I knew where I was going for one but, for our custodian, I didn’t know what room he would be in. 

I picked up the phone in the lobby and asked the operator for his room number. I paused when she said Emerg, Section A.

Wow – he was still in emerg and he was in the same section where I witnessed the shooting two weeks ago. 

I made the other visit first and then headed towards the emergency department. 

There was no way I could stop thinking about where he might be. I wondered if he was in the same bay – A8 – where I was when the inmate got the prison guard’s gun. 

It was in the back of my mind as I walked the halls, as I waited for the security to let me through, as I walked towards the nursing station. 

A nurse looked up from the overcrowded area and mouthed the word “two”, and held up two fingers … not the same bay. 

I could see A8 as I spoke and prayed with our custodian. And then when I left, I walked around the other side of the nurses’ station and took a long, hard look at where I’d stood two weeks earlier wondering if I would get hit by a bullet. 

It was all ancient history now. 

Here’s the thing: When you make a significant spiritual breakthrough – maybe you decide to follow God in a life decision, or you put your trust in God –  sometimes you get to go back to the place where you made that decision or change. Those are important events to remember how you have changed or grown, and more importantly how God has impacted you and how you’ve matured. Never fear going back to the scene; it can be a time when you reconfirm what God has done in your life. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: Where might you return to confirm what God has done in and for you? Leave your comments below. 

A Change Can Be As Good As Something New

Sometimes a change is as good as something new. I’ve heard that saying, or something like it, before.

It’s often true – if you change something, you’ll get the same reaction or feeling as if you got something new. 

The other day I put the Christmas lights up on our house. It was a perfect time to do it; it wasn’t raining and the temperature was a mild, 8 degrees Celsius. 

I had heard that the temperatures were going to drop the next day so it was the right time to get those lights up. 

We’ve lived in our house for over 22 years – that’s 22 Christmases. All that time, I’ve had basically the same pattern of lights on the house. 

It’s not fancy – I’m not trying to compete for the most decorated house on the street or the neighbourhood. I have no desire to have people driving by our house every night just to see the lights and display. 

… When we lived in Edmonton, there was a street they called Candy Cane Lane. I don’t know what it’s like now, but when we lived there the police would have to alter the traffic and make the street one way during the Christmas season.

Every house on the street had elaborate Christmas displays. There was one house that had wrapped Christmas presents hanging all over a big old tree in the front yard. All the presents were to Dad from Santa … lucky guy!

Charities collected gifts for the needy and sold hot chocolate to raise money. 

Let me tell you, it was a production! Home owners really went all out to make it a special occasion for the thousands who would do the slow drive down the street, or park and walk it. 

I’m sure people buying homes on that street had to sign a waiver that they would continue to promote the Christmas spirit by decorating the front of their houses each year.

Well, that’s not me. I have a standard lighting configuration. I string lights along our garage and up and down the peak of our roof. 

There was a short time when I put some lights along a fence, but that didn’t last. 

Oh, and I always put a couple of coloured spotlights pointed at the house, to light up some bushes, the front brick and living room window. 

It’s worked well for years. I can put those lights up in my sleep.

But this year I had an idea: Instead of lighting up the front of the house with the spotlights, why not light up the big tree in the middle of our front yard? 

Why didn’t I think of this years ago? 

It’s like a whole new display this year!  And all I did was buy a longer extension chord, and point a red spot directly on our big rock by the tree. I pointed the other red and green spots up at the tree, letting the colours blend together as they shone on the branches. 

It’s just a little change but it looks and feels like something new.

Here’s the thing: Maybe you’ve been spending time with God the same way for years, or you’ve been serving in the same ministry for a long time. Maybe you’ve had the same long time friend for years. You don’t have to quit what you are doing, or do something radically different to spruce things up. All you need is a little change and that time with God, that ministry you serve in, or that friendship will feel new and fresh again. Just a little change can make all the difference.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What could you change to make something new again? Leave your comments below.

I Think My Actions Changed The Weather

I sometimes wonder if our actions can actually change the weather. 

You see, right now we should probably have snow on the ground here in Kingston, but instead we have green grass … oh, and a touch of frost this morning. 

So far it’s been an interesting fall, with a lot of rain and more overcast days than I can could. … I was told that in October we only had three days of sun. 

Snow came early out west; there is lots of it in Ottawa … but we have none. 

I think it’s because I finally got winter tires. 

We got a new vehicle a couple of years ago and the tires were good, so I never purchased winter treads. 

But this year, my tires are a little more worn and, on a trip up north, they proved to be really bad in the snow. 

But since I got the new winter tires put on my SUV, there has been no need for them whatsoever. 

It’s like when you buy a new winter coat that you’re dying to wear. It’s impressive and you want to impress, but the temperatures stay high. You force the coat into action anyways even though it’s way too mild. You look like a fool and also learn that your new coat can act as a sauna as well as winter apparel. 

Can purchasing tires or a new winter coat really prevent the weather that is required to put them into action? 

I can’t say for sure, but it happens so often … as much as the weather man gets his predictions wrong. 

Now, I know I’m not the only one buying new tires, and there are people buying tires in snow-ridden places. I’m just saying that it’s uncanny how this works out for me. 

I know the snow is coming and really a major part of me is quite willing to delay the inevitable as much as possible. But I’d kind of like to know how these tires do in the snow. Will I be slipping and sliding around with them or will my vehicle be just as stable as if on dry asphalt?

It sure would be nice to be able to change the weather by my actions. It might be expensive, however. 

What else would I have to buy? 

Oh, I know! – a snowblower! I’ve wanted one of those for years, but my wife, Lily, keeps telling me we don’t need one. 

I can imagine if we got a snowblower in the next week that we wouldn’t see any white stuff on the driveway until after Christmas. 

I could also buy winter boots, and I could use some new winter gloves. 

I realize we are going to eventually get winter. I also don’t want to push winter into spring with a whole loft of purchases. That would not be good at all. 

… I’m not superstitious – really. I’m just making some observations about things that don’t happen when I prepare for them in some way. 

Here’s the thing:  Your actions can’t actually change the weather, but your actions can change someone. A smile, a word, a gift, an example can change a person’s day. Your consistent testimony can change a person’s destiny if they are drawn to the Father God by your actions. Be a light to others. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What would you like to change with your actions? Leave your comments below.

It Was Not Easy, But Difficult

What I thought was going to be easy ended up being very difficult. 

In fact, I thought I was going to be good at it but it turned out that I was nothing more than average. 

A few days ago I gave a witness statement to the police as to what I saw during the shooting incident at the hospital. 

You can read about the incident here.

The police had so many people to interview and talk to the night it happened that they asked me to come to the police station the next day to have my statement recorded. 

I had to go to Toronto the next day so I ended up giving my statement five days after it all happened.

I really thought I had it down pat. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t tell the story at least once. There were times when I was going to sleep or waking up that I rehearsed what I saw … maybe partly because I didn’t want to forget anything for my testimony.

When the time came for me to tell my story, I was feeling like I had it all together. 

When I got to the police station, they led me to a room that had some cameras in it, and told me they would be recording the conversation.

Then the officer asked me to start at the beginning.  

“Easy,” I thought, and I began to recount how I heard a noise down the corridor.  

About two sentences later the officer stopped me. He said, “I need you to go back and tell me who you saw and what you saw them doing.” 

I had referred to “the men”, but I didn’t identify who the men were. I also didn’t identify who had the gun. 

So I started again and made it clear that there were two corrections officers and one inmate. 

But then I started to refer to the different individuals as “the guy” or “he” or “they”. 

And again the officer asked me to back up.

At this point I realized it was not easy to give a witness statement … and I was not that good at it. 

You see, I had the whole incident very clear in my mind. I could roll the memory tape forward and back. I could jump into the story at any place and know exactly who I was thinking about. But for other people – for an officer who will have to testify to the details I spoke about – it was very confusing. 

The movie that was playing in my head was not being shown on the wall for the officer to see. 

… It’s like listening to a hockey game on the radio instead of watching it on TV. Unless the announcers are specific in their descriptions, you don’t know what is happening in the game. 

It took longer than I had hoped. But in the end, I think I gave a statement that clearly identified all the players, and created a picture for the police that helped them see from my perspective what happened the night of the shooting. 

Here’s the thing: What you think is obvious might not be that clear to someone else. You might think that you clearly demonstrate a life surrendered to God, but it might not be that clear to someone who is seeking God. You need to plainly articulate your faith to others – don’t assume. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: Who might you need to clearly present the gospel to? Leave your comments below.