environment

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It’s Too Quiet For My Own Good

Is it possible for an environment to be too quiet to be helpful?

It's too quiet for my own good

I asked myself this question the other day because I’ve been working alone now for about seven months. I’m wondering if I’m too alone.

Some people like noise and can focus and concentrate even when they are surrounded by all kinds of sounds and activities. For me, that just wreaks havoc with my ADD. With every little sound, voice or music – especially music – I turn to look.

I’ve tried working in a coffee shop. There is something about the general noise level that makes any specific sound indistinguishable … but I still get distracted. 

I work best when there is no noise, nothing to distract me from what I’m working on.

With even the faintest sound of instruments or base beat, I find myself tapping my feet and getting lost in the melody or rhythm. 

So when COVID shut our office down, it was the perfect place for me to go to study. 

There were no taps on the door, no chatter in the foyer, no whirl of machines. It was silent. 

I liked it … at least for a while. 

Now I’m not so sure I like it being as quiet as it is. Even a mouse might be a welcomed sound.

I know that I still need things quiet when I study, but when the quiet goes on for too long, it can become a discouragement. 

Maybe there is a sense of quiet loneliness that creates a want for something, someone, anything to break the silence for a little while. 

The silence is so dominant that it has actually reversed its appeal. 

If the only thing you can hear is your own tinnitus, it’s too quiet.

I know that some people put on white noise to go to sleep … maybe I need some white noise in my day. 

I could turn on a fan in another room and let it oscillate back and forth. I’m just afraid that after an hour of that I might find myself trying to guess when the fan is moving from left to right or right to left. 

I once had an assistant in the office beside mine who studied best with music on in the background. That used to drive me nuts. 

I got him to turn it down when I studied, but he had a subwoofer that I swear sounded like it was touching the wall between us. All I could think of was boom … boom boom … boom … boom boom. 

I sometimes went to another room to study because I couldn’t concentrate.

I don’t want that noise, but maybe if I just knew there was some activity in the building it would be enough to give me a sense of being around others. 

I’m not sure what the answer is, but I’m going to have to start trying something.

Here’s the thing: Sometimes our quiet time can be so silent that we don’t hear from God.  You’ve probably experienced that at some point. You read the Bible, you pray and when you get up, there has only been a one-sided exchange of thoughts and words. It might not be that it is too quiet, it might be that you have not quieted your mind and heart enough to be able to receive anything from God. Find the right balance of quiet by clearing your mind of your agenda and purposefully listening for a respond or quiet impression that enters your senses. Once you’ve experienced it, you will want to create that kind of quiet every day. Listen for the Lord.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: Do you need more or less quiet right now? What will you do about it? Leave your comments and questions below.

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The Middle Ground Is Not The Best Ground

Taking that middle ground may be good for keeping the peace but it might also be holding you back.

It’s comfortable being in the middle: in an argument you have friends on both sides; in a hostile environment you have safety on either side of you. 

You are insulated being in the middle. You don’t have to stick up for yourself. 

But in a relationship, being in the middle actually holds you back. 

When I do counselling for couples who are getting married, I have them complete an inventory of their relationship. There are about 150 questions and five responses to choose from for each question. 

The middle response – number three – is indecision. I tell a couple before they do the inventory to try not to pick the middle answer because it’s really a non-answer. I tell them to think about the question and have an opinion. 

The middle is wishy-washy; it’s the lukewarm position … and we know what the Bible says about being lukewarm: Jesus tells a church that they are lukewarm and he is about to spit them out of his mouth (Rev 3:14-20).

Being in the middle in a relationship is not much more than indifference, and it shows you are not really committed.

To be hot or cold you have to commit.  

Mid July is when I first really go into the water by our cottage. We are on Lake Huron and the water is always cold. Even in mid August it is cold – refreshing when it is hot outside, but still cold. 

I rarely run into the water. I always walk slowly into the water until it is over my waist. I go slow to try to acclimatize my body to the water’s temperature. 

But you can’t do it forever. At some point you have to make a decision: Am I going to dive under or go back out? You have to commit one way or the other. 

And in going all in, it is clear you have made a choice; you have some passion. 

It’s also true with hot water. One time I was to do a baptism at church and somehow the hot water heater was left on too long and when I put my foot in the water it was scalding hot. 

From behind the curtain I could hear my senior pastor speaking to the congregation, preparing them for what was to take place in just a few moments.

I had a decision to make. I couldn’t tell the pastor to call it off from where I was. I knew that the water was going to burn and the high school student I was going to baptize was going to have to go all the way under the water. 

I had to make a decision. I couldn’t be lukewarm about it. It was yes or no, do or die. 

Let me just say that I was beat red from my feet to my chest for the next five hours. Poor guy I had to dunk.

Here’s the thing: We can stay in the middle with God, be lukewarm with Him, but that is just taking Him a little bit – just enough of Him for what you need, but not enough to involve Him in much of your life. It’s really indifference to Him so that your life is not totally affected or impacted by God. Being in the middle will hold you back in your relationship with God because you will be indifferent to what He wants for you. God would much rather you be hot or cold with Him. Have some passion, commit yourself to Him and dive into a deep, fulfilling relationship. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What are you indifferent about right now and how will you change that? Leave your comments below.

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This May Be The Coldest Time Of The Year

For me, this is becoming the cold time of the year. I know that it’s the middle of April and the snow is long gone, but I’m freezing!

When I’m in my basement, I have to have a blanket over me just to prevent my body from going into hyperthermia.

As you go down to our basement, you can feel the temperature change when you get about halfway down the stairs. The staircase is only 12 steps long, but at about stair 5 I’m feeling the cold.

It doesn’t help that we’ve had a lot of rain – it’s probably a little damp in the basement.

Still, I’m freezing and I have to spend a lot of time in my basement right now. It’s hockey playoffs and I’m not going to miss watching the Leafs play in the playoffs for the first time in four years.

I will do what I have to in order to survive the frigid temperatures of my family room.

I fully understand that in a couple of months I will be loving the fact that it is cooler in the basement, and I will gladly spend time down here just to keep cool.

But right now, I can hardly bear it!

I’m thinking about keeping some mitts and a wool toque down here for when a game goes into overtime, or double overtime like it did last Saturday.

… The problem with that is it would be really hard to type out this blog post wearing something covering my fingers.

In the middle of the winter when the snow is flying and the temperatures outside are well below zero, I’m warm in my basement because the heat comes on regularly.

But the upstairs is not cold because that’s where the thermostat is. It might be 21 degrees upstairs but down here where I am right now it’s only 17.

I remember when I was a teen and I worked at a restaurant part time. Every once in a while we would have to get something out of the walk-in freezer.

When you first went in you would shiver, but then it was okay … for a couple of minutes. After that your blood started to solidify. You started moving in slow motion and you just prayed that the door wasn’t locked from the outside.

That’s the way I feel down here some evenings.

I don’t like coffee or tea; I really don’t like any hot drinks … but I’m starting to think a little hot chocolate might be in order.

… Maybe with a few marshmallows on top.

The one thing that is good is that my exercise room is down here. I’m exercising more because it’s the only way for me to generate a little heat in my body!

I can see my time in the basement lasting another couple of months with hockey playoffs going to mid June. … I guess I’ll feel like I’m sitting ice level in an arena for a while.

Here’s the thing: You may find yourself in an environment that is not the most comfortable. It may be that God wants to stretch you in an area that you find difficult to adjust to. Don’t try to move to a more comfortable environment until you warm up to your knew environment or until God wants you to move out of it.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What new thing is God leading you into? Leave your comments below.

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A Hockey Game To Remember

I went to a hockey game with my son the other day and realized just how much genetics and upbringing shape and mould us.

father son hockey

I remember growing up thinking that I was pretty unique, like there was no one identical to me. I was pretty naive back then – maybe suffering from an “I am special” complex that I’m sure annoyed some people … especially my parents and siblings.

But early in my twenties, I began to notice that I wasn’t all that “special” in the way I thought, in what I liked and disliked, in some of my habits, and in my choices.

I also noticed that my parents had lots of traits that I have; they were a lot like me. My first thought was, “They must be special too!”

But you know, just coming out of my teen years when I knew everything, I was quite conscious of the fact that they weren’t all that special … which left me with the realization that maybe I wasn’t all that special either.

Over the years I’ve realized that a part of what I am like is a direct result of being the procreation of Don and Helen. And then, added to that, a large part of who I am is also a result of growing up in an environment with them.

My genetics may determine how I process information, but my upbringing has shaped the angle,  view, or perspective from which I start to process that information.

When you think about it, our heritage – biological and environmental – has a huge part to play in us.

I was thinking about that when my son and I were talking together at the hockey game. He’s about the age now that I was at when I started to realize some of these things.

Our conversation uncovered how the pattern that formed who I am, is the same pattern that has been shaping him.

I understand some of the struggles he’s gone through … I could share similar stories from my days being in my twenties. There were times when we knew what each other was thinking.

We were both comfortable being in a hockey arena and also reflecting on the game and reminiscing about games we’ve played.

From the time he was little we’ve been watching sports together, especially hockey. When he was really little, in some fanciful way, he thought I played for the Toronto Maple Leafs, even though we would watch the first period together on TV … in Edmonton.

He’s developed a love for hockey and many sports probably because it has been part of his environment and was encouraged in our home growing up.

He even learned to share my love for the Toronto Maple Leafs … No, sorry, that’s genetic.

Here’s the thing: The goal of a Christian is to become more like Christ. Part of that is genetics, because we are made in His image. But a large part of that has to do with the environment we live in. If you are going to be transformed more into the likeness of Christ, you need to make sure your environment will produce those kinds of results. That means being around those who are ahead of you in the transformation process, and it will mean developing the habits and thinking of Christ which we find in His word. To become more like Christ, arrange your environment so that you come under that maximum influence of the Son of God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How have you arranged your environment to come under the influence of Christ? Leave your comment below.