expectations

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Unrealistic Expectations Can Really Leave You Deflated

We all have expectations, but unrealistic expectations are never met. 

unrealistic expectations can really leave you deflated

There are all kinds of expectations, ones we keep to ourselves, ones we share with others. 

Some of our expectations are based on logical outcomes from patterns we see. Some expectations are wishful thinking or based on a hunch. 

Unrealistic expectations are just not good.

Sometimes our expectations depend on someone else’s actions. But if we don’t verbalize to that person what we expect, well, it’s still unrealistic.

There was a time – or should I say there have been many times – that my wife Lily expected me to do something but never told me what she expected.

… Like the time I got ready for biking and she got all disappointed because she thought we would spend the afternoon outside working in the yard together. How was I to know that was what she expected? You can’t expect something from someone that they don’t know anything about.

When I was a kid, I pulled out my tooth and put it under my pillow. In the morning my tooth was still there. I expected the tooth to be gone and some coins in its place. But I had not told anyone I had pulled my tooth out, so how could the tooth fairy (Mom and Dad) know how to meet my expectation?

We can also have expectations that are just pie in the sky. They are not based in reality. The data doesn’t confirm what we are hoping for, but we expect an unrealistic outcome anyway.

This was the story of the Toronto Maple Leafs this year. 

Fans were furious and fed up with the team after they failed to advance to the second round of the playoffs. The team certainly didn’t meet their expectations. Now they are calling out all the responsible people who should be let go because of their failure.

I, on the other hand, was pretty happy with how the club did in the playoffs. But my expectations were based on some realistic data.

The Leafs had not beat Boston all year. They finished third in their division behind both Boston and Florida, and ended up seven points behind Boston in the standings.

How could any Leaf fan go into the playoffs expecting them to come out on top in the first round?

I figured they would win one game. They won three and they could have just as easily won a fourth. The Leafs took a team that was better than them to the seventh game and overtime. 

They far exceeded my expectations, but not the unrealistic expectations of so many other fans. 

If people question why they were in that spot in the first place, it’s a money thing in my opinion … too much money invested in four players. It handcuffs them from rounding out the team.

Leaf fans (of whom I am one) were expecting something the team could not produce. Yet we criticize the players and the coach for not meeting our expectations. 

The coach actually got them to play a defensive style of hockey that could win.

For me, I still remember their 1967 Stanley Cup victory and until they change the data, I’m not having unrealistic expectations about the club.

Here’s the thing: We all have expectations for the end of our life. If our expectation is unrealistic, our hope for the end of our life will go unmet and even be far worse than we imagine. God’s word has given us clear expectations for the end of life and, if we follow God’s plan for us, our expectation will be realized. Trust Jesus with your life.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: For what do you consistently have unrealistic expectations? Leave your comments and questions below.

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Different Rules Apply

There are different rules around our house when I’m on my own … to be accurate, it was my son and I who were on our own this weekend. Lily was away speaking at a women’s retreat.

Before she left, she gave us some rules to live by while she was gone. But even as she shared her expectations with us, I knew that when the door shut, a whole different set of rules would kick in.

wings and pizza

I listened to her directions and got some tips, like for meals she wanted us to eat the leftovers in the fridge and not spend money on food. However, I made it clear to Mike that the leftovers were for lunches and evening meals would be pizza and wings. … not together, mind you … pizza one night and then wings for the hockey game Saturday night.

I’m sure that as Lily tells us what we should eat, by now she realizes what will really happen. I think it is her eternal, optimistic, pie-in-the-sky hope that maybe we will actually follow her rules that forces her to tell us.

Along with the eating rules, the cleanliness rules go out the window as well. She knows better than to expect us to keep up to her standards. She only expects that when she returns the place will look like it did when she left. Whatever happens between then, she tries very hard not to think about.

Lily has this rule that is etched into her brain that she can’t leave the house or go to bed unless the dishes are all washed and the kitchen is clean. Mike and I don’t share the same etching in our melons! To go a day or two with a sink full of dishes is not a problem. I figure that’s why we bought a set of twelve dishes and not four.

My rule is if you leave it in the sink, put some hot water on it so that when you finally get to washing, the gunk will come off easily. It’s a good rule to follow and over the years it’s saved me a lot of time in the kitchen.

When the kids were little, keeping the place clean was more difficult. There were toys strewn all over that needed to be picked up. But now, it’s a cinch – we don’t make that much of a mess! There’s just a few clothes, crumbs, and clutter that needs to be cleaned and straightened before Lily shows up at the door.

And I know that just before she enters the house she starts imagining what it might look like. She hopes for cleanliness but braces herself for substandard neat and tidy. I know how her mind works. She played a tape in her head of what the house looked like during the weekend just to prepare herself for what she would find.

In the end, disappointment or satisfaction reigns in her, depending on whether she believes we made an effort or not.

Here’s the thing: God’s standard is perfection – something you and I can’t reach. But God has arranged it so we just have to be ready to meet Him when we die or Christ returns. God’s disappointment or satisfaction with us will be based on whether our faith is placed in Christ. And He will be able to tell if it is or not, depending on if we are seeking to please Christ or are not making any effort. Let’s all be ready.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you prepare for an inspection?  Leave your comment below.