family

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I Just Crossed Something Else Off My List

Well, I think I’ll cross one more item off my list of things I can and will do.

You get to a certain point in life where you have to remind yourself that you just can’t do things you did twenty years ago and think they will have no effect on you.

My son was moving on the weekend and needed a little help from Mom and Dad. This was his first big move that he’s had to do himself.

The last time the company moved him. All he had to do was grunt and point. He didn’t even have to pack!

Not this time – it was all on his shoulders. Plus he didn’t need to take some of his belongings to the next place.

Guess who gets to store those? Fortunately, we no longer have that second car taking up room in the garage so we have a whole half of the garage just waiting to receive his stuff.

Years ago when I was young, the church that I worked for used to call on the youth pastor and college pastor any time someone needed help moving. 

I did lots of moving back then. We even came up with a name for ourselves: “Dave and Paul, One Trip Movers”. 

And we did our best to get every person’s junk onto one truckload so we didn’t have to go back.

That was years ago though … a distant memory. I can’t do that kind of moving any more. It takes a toll on you.

This time we did a round trip from Kingston to Burlington and back in 24 hours. We brought all the stuff back to our home that our son doesn’t need right now. 

The next day we were up early to drive back to Burlington – a total of 975 km in all. About half way through the day, I realized how tired I was. 

That’s when you question yourself, “Do I really want to do this again? I know I did it in the past and can still do it, but it’s not as easy as before.”

I remember a few years ago when I shingled my cottage roof, looking at the job and thinking it wouldn’t be very difficult. I had experience shingling roofs, albeit 30 years earlier. 

When we finally finished the work, I remember saying to Lily,  “Well, I’m not going to do that ever again!” 

It was one of those items I crossed off my list of things that I can do. 

When you are young, new things get added to the list of things you can do all the time. It’s exciting.

But at this stage of life, I am happy to cross a few things off that list that I don’t need to or have to do any more.

I think moving people is one of those things that’s going to end up being crossed off the list. 

Of course, when it comes to family, you have to make exceptions. 

Here’s hoping for a company move next time.

Here’s the thing: There are things in our lives that we used to do, that we didn’t think anything of. But as we grow in our relationships with Christ, we need to keep evaluating our actions and cross off those things that don’t meet with our level of maturity in Christ, which should be constantly increasing.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you need to cross off your list of things you do? Leave your comments below.

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My Family’s Wall Of Shame

I’m writing this blog while standing in front of our family’s wall of shame. I’m sure that most homes also have some form of our wall.

Our wall of shame is in our family room. It has a set of three lights that shine strategically on the pictures that hang on that wall … you wouldn’t want to have any shadows cast over these photographic gems!

I’m sure you realize that what we have isn’t really a wall of shame, but the affectionate term our children have given to some pictures – a whole wall of random pictures that give a brief glimpse into the lives of each member of our household.

The wall provides a snapshot of how our family has grown over the years, as well as one shot that Lily snuck in there from my early years playing hockey as a kid.

Though it shows how our family has grown over the years, in reality it shows how our kids have grown and how Lily and I have aged. 

From this wall, you get an idea of the things that we think are important, things we like and a few shots that were just too cute to not include on the wall.

Females who look at the wall get all warm and fuzzy, while males usually take to mocking within seconds.

The wall is well positioned to ensure that the maximum amount of embarrassment is doled out. 

It’s right by our pool table, so while you are standing waiting for someone to take his shot, it provides a perfect diversion to look and make a comment about one or more of the pictures on the wall.

I remember going to an art gallery one time, and listening to what people had to say about the various pieces of art on display. I was relieved for the painter’s sake that he was not living. He didn’t have to hear all the random comments made about his work.

We don’t have that kind of luxury here in our family room. One of us is usually standing within ear shot of some wise crack.

But humiliating as our wall of shame is, it is nothing compared to the other wall Lily had going upstairs in the hall. 

Yes, both these walls are courtesy of Lily; she is the designer and chooser of the pictures. 

The wall upstairs featured a series of pictures our family had taken on a cruise ship. They were brutal! The photographer had us pose in positions no one else had been able to do nor will do again. 

Fortunately, that wall recently got painted and because the pictures had received so much abuse by Karlie, Mike and I, they didn’t get put back up.

I’m all for looking back and reminiscing about the past as you look through old photos or scan through them on a computer, but having them on display 24/7 for years and years? 

All I can say is it will be a great wall of memory when I’m no longer around.

Here’s the thing: Sometimes when we scan over our lives, we feel shame for things we’ve done, or didn’t do. We can see glimpses of specific times or events that caused us pain. There is One who has constant access to the images of your entire life. If He is your Saviour and Lord, you can know He looks at you not with disappointment or shame, but with great joy and pleasure. If we have received His forgiveness, there is no longer any wall of shame. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What would you like to keep hidden from others? Leave your comments below.

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My New Technology Doesn’t Work With The Old

Trying to use new technology with old technology doesn’t always work very well. Sometimes the two are incompatible.

I found that out recently when I got myself involved in a project just to be nice. By the time I had finished, however, I didn’t feel all that nice! 

I was asked to lend my video camera to someone for a project they wanted to film. Someone else was also asked the same thing.  

When it came time to film, the person doing the project chose to use the other camera. That was fine with me. 

But a few days later, that camera owner informed me that her camera would no longer hook up to her computer and that the person who had done the filming had assumed she would edit the film for him.

I agreed to help and to get the files off the camera and to edit the video for her. 

Bad call on my part! The camera wouldn’t hook up to her computer because the video files were recorded in an old format.

… I remember many years ago wanting to add front shocks to my mountain bike, thinking they would be a great feature to add.

When I went to the bike shop to ask how much the transformation would cost, I was informed that my bike was too old. The old front end construction didn’t allow for the addition of a new fork with shocks.

I ended up purchasing a new bike with front shocks. It cost a lot more money than my original plan, but the old bike construction was just too restrictive to keep using it.

I was facing the same problem with the camera, except for one difference: I thought that somehow there would be a way to get those video files into a useable format.

I worked on it, searched the internet and found some solutions … or what at first looked like solutions but weren’t.

I did discover that I could buy an application that would do the work for me, but it would cost $50 … not worth it for a six minute movie, especially since I would have no use for the program once this project was finished.

I spent over five hours working on this project that I was only asked to lend my camera to! 

I’m not sure you sense my frustration here, but if steam could come out of my ears … well, you’d maybe have a picture of my frustration.

In the end, I used a free program that read the files and converted them to a useable format … except it didn’t save the sound. I had to use that program to interpret the files, then replay the files while recording the sound from my computer screen. 

It was not perfect, but it worked. … I will definitely tell the owner of that camera to throw it out and not use it again.

Here’s the thing: The problem with technology is that it is continuously changing. If something is over five years old, you might find it no longer works or you can not get replacement parts for it.

God never changes. You can always connect with Him and relate to Him using the same means we have used for centuries: continue to pray, worship and serve Him. We may keep adding new formats, but the means remain the same. God longs to connect with us, and we never have to look for a new way. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you had to replace because the original was outdated? Leave your comments below.

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What To Do When Weather Is Looming

Last week we were warned of looming weather. There was supposed to be a bad storm with freezing rain coming our way. 

It was supposed to start in the early hours of Saturday morning, but when I got up for hockey at 5:30, there was no rain and it was above freezing. 

I thought after hockey I might have difficultly driving home, but there was no rain and temperatures were still in the positive numbers.

The weather stations were ramping up their warnings, like it was going to be bad and that our city was in the red zone of the storm.

Yet when I looked outside to the street, the road was drying up.

The weatherman said to make sure we had gas in our cars. I wondered where I would have to drive to if there was freezing rain, and how long this was going to last. 

Were they suggesting that I needed to get out of the area, sort of like a nuclear fallout zone?

People were filling up with gas; they were stockpiling water. 

I had already been contacted by another church who was wondering if we had a plan for our Sunday service or whether we would cancel it. 

That got me thinking because I hadn’t thought about our service at all. We always just have it. But this week we were scheduled to have a lunch after church.

After conferring with my board, we decided to only cancel the lunch and let everyone make their own weather dependent decisions about coming to church.

Nothing was actually happening when we made that decision. It was just looming, with the threat of starting at any time. We didn’t know when; we didn’t know how bad it was going to be. 

But the threat of what might have been coming had us making plans, checking the sky, stockpiling supplies … Hey, Lily, how’s our candle inventory?

I remember the ice storm of 1998. The Canadian Encyclopedia called it one of the largest natural disasters in Canadian history. McLean’s magazine called it “The Great Ice Storm.”

We didn’t cancel church back then, and it was in January. We didn’t have power or heat, but we did have a service, though only a handful of people attended. 

I just remember having my jaw wide open as we drove through the deserted streets to get to church.

That one was more severe and long-lasting than this one was predicted to be, but it also was never looming. We just woke up and faced it. 

This time it was looming and the more it loomed, the bigger the storm became in our minds. 

When something is looming, it’s not usually considered a good thing … like when the music in a scary movie hits a certain chord, you know something bad is looming and about to happen.

Or when the US, Britain and France conduct bomb strikes on Syria, you know that reactions by Russian and Syria are looming. 

The looming part gives us time to think and plan and not be caught off guard … and maybe head to the bomb shelter.

Here’s the thing: People were worried and planning on what might be an inconvenience for a few days. But Christ is returning sometime and, though it’s been looming for over 2000 years, it’s still looming. Make sure that you are benefiting from the looming of Christ’s return: think about it, plan for it, and don’t be caught off guard. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you prepare for looming situations?

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Seriously, Something Is Wrong Here!

Today’s blog post comes from my wife Lily. She is the one who edits my posts and every once in a while she get inspired to write a post of her own. I hope you enjoy this post.

Even though the weather this week doesn’t feel like it, I know summer is coming … I’ve been dreaming about it … flip flops, scorching heat, a refreshing glass of cold lemonade and carefree days!

Ahh, those images take me back to my childhood …

When I was growing up, it was common place to either see or to have a lemonade stand on the hot, humid days of summer. Well, actually it usually wasn’t a lemonade stand but a Kool-Aid stand.

You remember Kool-Aid, don’t you? … “Kool-aid’s here bringing you fun, Kool-Aid’s got thirst on the run. Get a big, wide, happy ear-to-ear Kool-Aid smi-i-ile!”

I think Kool-Aid stands were our mothers’ faults. After all, they were the ones who would repeatedly spout the phrase, “Go outside and play.” Eventually, we’d get tired of skipping and biking and jumping on pogo sticks. We’d run out of scenarios for playing cowboys and indians (ya, I’m that old!). We’d finish soaking ourselves with water guns while playing cops and robbers. And there were only so many freezies we were allowed to eat before supper.

After sitting with siblings and friends on the curb for a while, racking our brains for ideas, someone would invariably suggest selling Kool-Aid. Even before the logistics were worked out, we’d be arguing how we’d spend our fortunes.

Logistics boiled down to someone running home and begging Mom to make a jug of the finest colour of Kool-aid in the house, and someone else ravaging their pantry for plastic cups …. which weren’t hard to find back in the heyday of Tupperware!

Of course, some kind neighbours would always oblige and purchase a glass or two, and the ever-loving moms would buy a glass of the drink they had just moments ago pulled from their own cupboard and mixed for us … Could there ever be people who love others more than moms?!

Today’s kids, however, are missing out on all that. Our country has gone berserk in bureaucracy! Remember that news report last summer about two sisters, aged five and seven, whose lemonade stand was shut down because they didn’t have a permit and weren’t following the bylaws? And they were selling lemonade to raise money for a summer camp for kids with cancer! Can you imagine?!

Seriously, for starters, who would report two little girls for trying to raise money for a cancer camp? What bylaw officer would actually follow through with shutting them down?

In the end, they are allowed to reopen their stand, but guess what? They had to change their adorable, crayon coloured “lemonade” sign because the word had to be written in both official languages!

What have we done to our kids? When are we going to stop reacting to every complaint and problem by creating more regulations and rules?

… Makes me nostalgic for the old, carefree days of summer where everything wasn’t regulated and kids didn’t have to be bubble-wrapped before venturing outside to play.

I think I’m going to go buy some Kool-Aid.

Here’s the thing: God has given us some rules to live by. But when we fixate on the rules alone, we can go berserk in Christian bureaucracy. God never intended us to live by rules, but by love. Our lives should be lived in response to God’s great love for us, and what Christ did for us by dying and taking the punishment we deserve.

That’s Life!

Lily Silcock

Question: What rules have you gotten fixated on? Leave your comment below.

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There Is A Difference One Day To The Next

Things can be different one day to the next, even when the conditions are the same.

Have you ever noticed that you can have a great day and, with no rhyme or reason, the next day is crummy?

I find that young adults can be like this. My wife, Lily, and I regularly talk to our kids on the phone. One day they can be sailing and the next they are in the pits.

Maybe there is some latent hormonal chemical reaction that strikes from time to time (they’re both in their late 20’s), but I am always dumb-founded to know what changed from the day before.

Often nothing changes, but we look for something to blame. It somehow feels better when we can find a reason for the turn of events.

… Like when the weather fails to turn out the way we had hoped it would, we blame the weatherman, as if he had something to do with changing the weather. As if he or she had some control over how the weather was going to turn out!

It doesn’t matter that meteorologists only predict the weather, we like to stick it to them and focus our frustration on their seeming incompetence.

The other day I played hockey with a group of guys and everything clicked – passing, shooting, skating. I scored one goal that I’m still playing over in my mind … it was a beauty!

I’m sure the guys on the other team weren’t saying the same thing. They seemed frustrated; not much was going right for them. I almost felt a little sorry for them.

But hold on to that thought …

Today came around and this time, playing with another group of guys, nothing was working.

Passes never seemed to get to me, and my passes sometimes got intercepted by my own teammates. Shooting, well, I hit three goal posts … that’s enough said there.

I felt as good today as I did the other day when I played. All the conditions were the same.

I was playing with a different group of guys, so I could say that it was the players that made the difference. I could blame them to make me feel a little better about myself.

The problem with that is I was playing with better hockey players today than I was the other day when everything went right!

There just doesn’t seem to be any explanation for the change, or any way to hang some blame on anyone.

One day everything went right and the next day nothing seemed to go right.

When someone is in a grumpy mood, we tell them that they woke up on the wrong side of the bed, or that they didn’t get enough sleep. We can blame their mood on something they did or didn’t do because those are conditions we can measure.

When there is nothing to measure, we are left with a mystery that will never be solved; it just must be accepted.

Here’s the thing: We often blame God when, out of the blue, things go wrong. We blame Him for allowing the bad to come into our lives. We want to blame someone or something and we feel God is as good a person to blame as any. However, before you turn your ire on God for something He may or may not have been at the centre of, why not accept it and keep moving forward? If you don’t, you will just spin your wheels, fixated on blaming.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: Who or what have you been tempted to place blame on lately? Leave your comments below.

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I’m Never Sure About Redecorating 

We are doing a little redecorating in our house lately. I should say that Lily is doing the redecorating and I’m along for the ride.

This project all started with painting, and I’m okay with that because I don’t paint. Lily does the painting in our house – it’s one of the ways our marriage has stayed strong for over thirty years.

Though now that the paint has hit most of the walls, and much of the furniture is back in place, I am realizing that I was duped a little bit.

I thought painting meant you covered up the old paint, maybe with a different colour, for the purpose of freshening up the place. What I’m discovering is that painting is just the first phase of the project.

Yes, the furniture is back in place, but that is all. Nothing has gone up on the walls and that’s because she’s not sure what she wants to put on the walls.

I’m thinking, “Oh boy, here we go. Now we have to buy new pictures and add new accent pieces to the place.”

I’m just saying that I thought we were mostly done, but I’m realizing we are far from the done stage. It could be weeks – maybe even months – before she settles on what the final look of the living room will be.

But I’m not completely worried about that … yet.

What I am worried about is that almost immediately when she started to paint, Lily wasn’t sure she liked the colour of the paint she had picked.

I get it. It’s not easy to tell what paint will look like from a sample card that is two inches by one inch. When Lily would hold a sample up to the wall and ask me what I thought, I had no idea! All I could tell was that it was going to be a different colour than what we already had on the wall.

This will be a major deal if she decides she has to cover up what she’s already painted. We are at the 95% done stage of painting … and apparently paint is not as cheap as it used to be back in the 80’s.

But it gets worse! That’s not the only paint Lily’s not sure about – there is another colour. She painted a feature wall and it seems now that the paint is drying, that it is not as dark a colour as she had originally thought.

Even I, with my crack decorating and colour-scheming eye, can tell that it’s not as dark as I thought it would be.

So we are in a spot. Lily’s tired of painting. We could finish the last little bit and be done with it, or she could repaint it all, or I could paint it.

Wait … what did I say? … On second thought, we only have two options. I won’t be painting.

Here’s the thing: Sometimes the unexpected things in life will be minor, like paint; sometimes they will be major. I read a verse the other day that seems appropriate for when life unexpectedly turns on you. When you don’t know what to do once an unexpected development appears, when things don’t turn out like you had hoped, there is still hope. 2 Corinthians 1:10 says, “He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again.” (ESV). When the unexpected happens, trust God. He is your sure way forward.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has life unexpectedly dropped on you lately? Leave your comments below.

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I Wish I Could Expand Time

Time never expands but the things we do often expand to take up more time than we think.

We can’t add to time, but we can plan less so that we end up with time to spare.

But really, who does that? Not many people. Most people run late because they try to do more than they can get done in the time given them.

We think we can do things in “X” amount of time but most often we miscalculate, or something interrupts to eat away at the time we have.

It’s sort of like cracks on the road. Water gets in them and then freezes. The frozen water expands, overfills the crack and eventually breaks up the pavement, creating potholes.

That’s what happens to our time. It’s like a crack that gets filled up but then whatever fills it expands past the time we have.

The other day I was working on a project that I gave the whole day to. I finished the main part of the project well under the time I had allotted.

But after the main part was finished, there were other parts of the project that also needed to be done, like PowerPoint presentations, online notes, and presentation notes.

I had a lot of time to get them done by the end of the day though. So I was feeling pretty good about myself. I felt like the pressure was off and I might even surprise my wife, Lily, by getting home early.

But later in the afternoon things started to expand. I also didn’t account for my drop in energy so I wasn’t accomplishing tasks at the same rate I had been in the morning.

But worse than that, one task expanded to fill up the time I had left. I never saw it coming. I never accounted for it.

I was in the the last stages of my afternoon. I don’t usually listen to music while I work because it’s a distraction to me; I think better when it’s quiet.

But the work I was doing didn’t require much thinking, mostly performing rote tasks that I have been doing each week for years.

So I turned some music on. Sure it would slow me down, but I still had lots of time, more time than I needed … until I couldn’t find a picture I wanted for my presentation.

I looked and looked and it literally took a half hour to find the picture I needed. And then I only found it by fluke in my email trash bin.

That one little thing had expanded past my allotted time. When I left for home, I still had one task undone; I hadn’t even started it.

Time doesn’t change, and though we plan and organize our day to live within the confines of the time we have, things seem to expand to the point that they overwhelm our time.

Here’s the thing: What I have also found true is that when you take time to worship God, your worship expands to overfill the time you set aside for it. This happens because you are relating and dialoging with the Lord, and good relationships take time – often more than we realize. So whatever time you set aside for God, know that if you are truly developing your relationship, you will eventually have to increase the time you allot for God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What expands to fill up your time more than anything else? Leave your comments below.

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The Conditions Were Right For A Snowball Fight

When the conditions are right, it’s so natural to revert back to snowball fight mentality.

This winter we’ve seen a lot of snow. At one point I didn’t think the snow would melt until May. But we had a week of warm weather and the white stuff just faded away, helping us forget all the snow that had been dumped on us.

However, not long after the snow was gone we received another gift of white flakes from the sky that covered the ground once again … kind of like a last-ditch attempt to remind us that it is still winter.

The next day I knew that it would not last long. I looked out at my snow-covered driveway and thought, “Is it possible that it will melt today, or will it take more than a day to disappear?”

One thing I knew for sure was that this snow was not going to last long.

Though I was tempted to leave it, I decided to clear off the drive and walkway and let the sun dry it all up. Lily decided to join me. As I started to shovel, I paused and stooped down. The consistency of the snow was perfect – perfect for making snowballs, that is.

I put the shovel down and picked up a handful. As I started to form a snowball with my hands, I looked around for a target to throw it at. And there was only one worthy target … it was even a moving target!

Lily had started shovelling the walk and I hit her square in the back. She swung around and laughed, picked up some snow and threw it at me.

Well, then it was on. I didn’t need any more encouragement than that. I hadn’t been in a good snowball fight since our kids were little. I started pelting her with snowballs. She tried to hide behind a tree, but I still managed to swing around and nail her with a few more.

I wouldn’t say Lily didn’t hit me with any. There were a few times her lobs found a target. But for the most part, I was able to dodge her change-ups and knuckleballs.

Sometimes I just stood still and let the snowball sail by me on the left or the right. It was like they came at me in slow motion. It was fun, but I decided we better stop before I put one off her head or something.

We got back to cleaning off the driveway. I had already used a lot of the snow on it for my ammunition, which made the shovelling a little easier.

When we finished, Lil started on a snowman, so I helped to put the pieces together. By the time we were done, we had one motley, snow-covered front yard with a snowman.

The rest of the day, when I looked out our window, it reminded me of what the front yard used to look like when the kids were living here.

Here’s the thing: It was amazing to me that, even in my 60’s, I can, in a flash, resort back to when I was teen. That is also how quickly we can get swept up in a sin from the past. We connect with it and simply get swept up in it before we know it. When it comes to snowball fights, go for it. But when it comes to sin, stay far from it so you don’t get swept up in it.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you find you easily get caught up in? Leave your comments below.

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I Wish My E-Wallet Was Growing Faster

My e-wallet is starting to get a little thicker, and I’m not concerned about it one bit. In fact, I wish my e-wallet was expanding at a faster pace than it is.

I wouldn’t be able to say the same thing about my physical wallet – that’s a completely different matter.

My physical wallet is at its max; I can’t put anything more in it. I use a hard case for my credit and information cards and it can only hold so much before they are so jammed together that you can’t get any of them out.

Since the time I started carrying a wallet I have tried to keep it as thin as possible. But the older you get, the more cards you have to carry with you.

I remember a time when I carried a billfold with six slots for cards in it. It was pretty thin, but before long I needed to double up the cards, with more than one per slot.

I started feeling my wallet when I sat down. I kind of had to move to sit on one cheek more than the other.

I’ve seen people with wallets that are two or three inches thick, and I wonder how they are able to sit down at all.

In fact, many people pull their wallets out of their pockets when they sit down.

That is not something I would ever do. I would constantly lose my wallet and be replacing it and all the cards inside it on a monthly basis.

For me a wallet has to be thin and be able to stay in my pocket. And that’s what I like about my e-wallet.

I can add cards to it and it never gets any thicker. I just added a card to it the other day.  And when I use it I won’t even have to pull my wallet out of my pocket. I just use my phone or my watch.

E-wallets are the way to go. We should be able to put our health care card and drivers’ license in our e-wallets as well.

I would like it if all I needed to carry with me was a billfold. And even there, I’m using cash a lot less.

There are some stubborn institutions though. I have two credit cards by the same company, from different banks. One bank gives me the e-wallet option while the other one doesn’t.

I’m not sure what their reasoning is other than they don’t want to make life too easy for me. I guess we will always have those who are not going to go with the trend until the trend is a well-worn path used by almost everyone.

All I know is the quicker the wallet in my back pocket shrinks, the more comfortable I’ll be sitting down.

Here’s the thing: Often I will find myself communicating with God in the same familiar ways, praying the same types of prayers, asking for the same types of things. My ways are very accustomed to me. But seeking new ways to speak with God, and to listen to Him communicate back, opens up whole new avenues of relating to God. Always be growing in how you interact with God and you will find God to be more refreshing and easy to access.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What new ways of doing old things do you need to look into? Leave your comments below.