family

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Another Failed Movie Night

We failed last night in our attempts to choose a movie to watch. You would think this is a simple thing, but it is never easy for my wife and me.

There are literally thousands of movies at our fingertips every time we attempt to choose a movie to watch, but still we can’t decide.

There is Netflix, iTunes, movies on TV and even the theatre if we want something brand new.

That doesn’t make it easier.

I don’t think there has ever been a time in our marriage where we both said, “Let’s see THIS movie.”

I don’t mean saying it at the exact same time, like a “punch buggy” thing; I mean both having the idea to watch the same movie.

We are diametrically opposed to each other when it comes to movies.

I like action adventure; Lily likes romance, and romantic comedy.

Do you know how few romantic action adventure movies there are? Someone could make a killing if they could produce more of these kinds of movies!

But having said all that, for Lily the action part really detracts from the thing she likes most in romantic movies.

I think the issue is how we approach movies in the first place.

I view movies more as an outside observer. My approach is more like I’m doing a ride along with the main character. I’m there with him, and I observe all the narrow escapes and harrowing feats, the bullets, explosions, yada, yada yada … but it’s not happening to me.

Lily, on the other hand, watches movies more like she’s in them.

There’s a new movie in the theatres right now called, “Jumanji”. I haven’t seen it yet because it’s an action adventure. From what I’ve seen in the trailers, the main characters get sucked into a video game and actually become the characters in the video game.

That’s how Lily watches movies. So when she’s watching some romantic movie with a particularly sensitive scene where the guy is saying something very touching to the girl of his dreams, when I chime in with some funny comment or mimic the line in a whiny voice, I’m not just mocking the movie, I’m actually mocking Lily.

She acts as if I’m saying that stuff to her and not the character in the movie … I think.

That’s why when she watches an action adventure movie, every explosion, every punch, she’s taking it on the chin.

When those movies are over, she’s tired because it’s like she just climbed up the side of a mountain, or parachuted behind enemy lines, or had to fight off some 7 foot, 350 pound guy.

That kind of thing can really drain you.

The other day I snuck up on her in the kitchen, and it scared her half to death. She said she lost three years off her life.

I hope those were just movie years and not real life years … although to her it’s all the same.

Here’s the thing: I don’t always understand how my wife thinks, or why she reacts in certain ways, but I do know that she loves me very much. The same is true with God. You may not understand why He answered your prayer that way, or didn’t seem to answer it at all. You may not understand why He allows some things to happen or unfold as they do. But one thing you can be certain of is that He loves you more than anything else. That is why He sent Jesus, His Son, to die in your place for the things you’ve done wrong. Be sure you’ve received His love by accepting His Son.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you handle not understanding someone? Leave your comments below.

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It Really Was A Bittersweet Night

Last night I experienced the bittersweet feeling of winning and losing at the same game.

My wife, Lily, and I have a weekly standing date of attending the OHL Kingston Frontenacs’ home games.

Friday, as usual, we shared some popcorn and watched the action on the ice.

But it was a little different because, while our boys were playing in Kingston, the Canadian Junior hockey team was playing in Buffalo for a gold medal in the annual World Juniors tournament.

We got to see some great hockey in front of us, but in the back of my mind I was wondering how our national team was doing.

Part way through the game it was announced over the PA system that Canada was up 1-0.

That was some comfort, but the battle on the ice in front of us was intense.

Our boys were really playing well and dominating in many respects, but it was just a one goal game at the end of the first period.

In the second period, our guys were flying and scored two goals to put our team ahead 3-1 by the end of the period.

Back in the gold medal game, there was no more news … but when your team is ahead, no news is also good news.

Team Sweden was considered the team to beat. They had run the table in the regular round; in fact, they hadn’t lost in the regular round in 11 years.

Team Canada had one shootout loss to the United States in a snowy, outdoor affair that left all the Canadian fans chilled.

Now we were battling for the gold medal and we were ahead in the scoring.

Lily and I took a stroll around the arena at the end of the second period of the Frontenacs’ game. There was a calm, happy, “we have this game in the bag” kind of feeling in the air.

There was no hint of any trouble ahead until the start of the third period. The Fronts seemed a little flat – no energy, not skating well … and in the span of about five minutes, the Spitfires scored three goals and were up 4-3.

It happened so quickly; it was a shocker.

The rest of the period our boys threw a lot of rubber towards the Windsor net, but we couldn’t buy a goal and lost the match.

Just a five minute let down was all it took.

After the bitter loss we witnessed on ice, the arena switched to the World Junior game on the big screen.

We watched until the end of the second period where, with five minutes left, Sweden scored to tie it up.

All I could think was, “not another let down!”

Since I’m the Fronts’ team chaplain, we then left the stands to go chat with our boys. By the time we were done, there was just ten minutes left in the gold medal game so we headed back into the stands to watch.

With just under two minutes to play, Team Canada scored.

There was a celebration, not on the ice but on the big screen. We pocketed an empty-netter to seal the deal, and Canada won the gold medal.

At the same arena we watched our hometown team lose and then our Canadian team win gold. It was truly a bittersweet night. But it ended with the sweet!

Here’s the thing: There is a verse in the Bible that says you can win the whole world but forfeit your soul. That’s life’s bittersweet reality. Make sure your soul is secure so that in the end, when life is all over, you experience the sweet of Heaven.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What would be bittersweet for you? Leave your comments below.

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Don’t Be Deceived By The Sun

Hey people, let’s not deceive ourselves – it’s brutally cold out there!

My wife, Lily, opened the blinds this morning and was very cheery. “Ah, the sun is shining”, she said, as if that made everything alright.

She made her comment like she was ready to take a magazine out to the deck and catch some rays as she relaxed in a lawn chair.

“It’s minus 22 Celsius out there”, I said.

Lily’s rebuttal was that it reminded her of Edmonton winters where the sun was the consolation for surviving weeks on end of needing a balaclava when you stepped outside the front door of your home.

She went as far as saying she would rather have -20 C and sunny than -4 C and dreary.

Give me the dreary! If we have to go another week with these temperatures, I’ll be done with winter big time!

I’m not sure why Lily has been so hypnotized by the sun’s power, or it could have nothing to do with the sun at all.

It may have more to do with the old coat she rediscovered last night.

We went out for dinner and Lily decided to wear a fur coat – that’s right, it’s fur, and it’s probably seal too.

But don’t get too upset at her owning a fur coat. It’s a hand-me-down from my grandmother. I figure that coat is probably between 70 and 90 years old.

When I was just a kid, I remember my grandmother wearing it to church when she came to visit us on weekends. My brother, John, and I made sure we sat on either side of her during church.

Besides the little purple candies she would give us, it was really sitting beside that coat of hers that was the treat. It was, and still is, the softest coat you will ever touch. It’s unbelievable. We would snuggle right up to her just to feel that fur.

You can’t stop touching it.

But I digress. Maybe the reason Lily doesn’t mind the cold is that this coat is the warmest coat she’s ever put on. She didn’t care how long it took us to walk from the car to the restaurant; she was toasty.

… I, on the other hand, was freezing and couldn’t wait to get inside.

Maybe she thinks she is impervious to the cold with this coat, I don’t know.

All I’m saying is let’s not be deceived or brainwashed by the sunny days, thinking that it’s okay that we are living in temperatures that would make a polar bear want to travel south for a vacation.

We weren’t planning on taking a winter vacation but now I’m entertaining the idea … and the longer this cold snap – sun and all – stays with us, the more the price of the trip doesn’t matter to me.

Let’s just all agree on one thing: it is crazy cold out there, and there is nothing good about it.

Here’s the thing: Sometimes we can get fixated on one thing so that something else doesn’t seem to be that bad. Maybe you struggle with a certain sin but, instead of dealing with it, you look to something good you are doing as if that cancels out the sin. To God, sin is missing the mark and, no matter how close to the mark you are in another area, you’re still missing the mark. Deal with the sin in front of you. Don’t mask it, justify it, or ignore it; just confess it and turn from it.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you need to deal with? Leave your comments below.

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My Neighbours Are Dropping Like Flies

I feel abandoned by my neighbours; it seems like we are the only ones remaining strong.

… What I’m referring to is the number of neighbours who are leaving our street … not in a permanent way, just for a vacation.

We live on a small street of only ten houses – it’s actually a cul-de-sac – but three of our neighbours are going to warmer climates just as the cold and snow have hit us.

Christmas Day saw the most snowfall I can remember in this area. Though we were not going anywhere, I knew it was going to mean me having to leave lounging with my family to go and shovel the driveway and the back deck.

We had company coming for dinner and there was no way they could plow through all the snow that got dumped on us during the night.

… I’m even surprised Santa came through with the gifts. It must have been a tough night even with Rudolph leading the team.

Just before I got to stirring myself from my one-day hibernation, I heard a noise outside our door.

It was my neighbour with his snowblower. He plowed the driveway and our walk.

What a Christmas gift!

I shot him a thank you email a little later and his response was, “You’re welcome and we are leaving for southern climates for a couple of months.”

I went out to shovel our deck and clear more drifts from the driveway, and saw another neighbour doing the same. He yelled over Christmas greetings and promptly told me he was going to leave us with the cold and snow for some tropical weather the next day.

We’d already said goodbye to one family who are visiting their native land, where they don’t know what a fall jacket looks like, let alone a full-blown winter coat.

And I’m pretty sure there is yet one more snowbird who is flexing her wings to leave our white winter wonderland.

It’s not usually that bad when people go south. But when they gang up on you and leave when the temperature drops and the snow piles are as tall as your wife, it can be a little discouraging.

It’s not that I interact with my neighbours a lot during the dark part of the year, but even seeing those tail lights going into their garage, or giving a wave while we wipe the snow from our cars, is comforting, like we’re in this together.

I don’t feel that way right now. I feel a little abandoned, like I’ve been left to hold down the fort while others get to enjoy all the perks that come with sun, warmth and beach.

I know they will be back, and I know the present conditions will ease up a little. Some of this snow will melt and we will have some warmish days (that’s Canadian speak right there).

But for right now, looking out my window at all that snow, and the bags being loaded into vehicles, I think it would be nice to trade in a couple of presents for a temporary relocation.

Here’s the thing: There are times in life that we can feel abandoned, alone, like everyone else has taken off and we are by ourselves. At times like that, we need to connect with the Lord because He never leaves us. He is with us, strengthens us and upholds us. There is no need to fear or be dismayed (Isaiah 41:10).

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: Where would you like to be right now and with whom? Leave your comments below.

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The Youth In My Family Now Have The Edge

The youth are taking over – at least it’s true in my family. Every year when my family gets together for Christmas we rent some ice and have a game of hockey.

We’ve been doing it for a long time now. When we started, I didn’t have to play very hard to show up the young guys.

It’s different now; each year my son and the nephews have gotten bigger, faster, stronger.

I still look forward to our little get-together but it takes a lot more out of me to keep up with them.

I guess that’s why there is so much focus on youth. They have all the potential; they are so agile; they have such great skill.

I see it in junior hockey, and especially in the annual world junior hockey tournament that’s about to start. It showcases the best young hockey talent in the world and everyone is playing for their country.

The speed at which these kids skate, and the moves they make – with and without the puck – is incredible.

That is why even the NHL is on a youth movement right now. To play in the NHL these days you have to be able to keep up with, or be better than, the 19 and 20 year olds.

Hockey highlight programs on TV show replay footage of teenagers in the NHL making incredible plays almost every night.

The youth really are taking over.

On the downside, the old guys like me are losing ground each year. We are not as fast as we once were; our hands are not what they once were.

Maybe more than all that is we don’t have the stamina or the energy we once had. I get winded quickly. I give a second thought to back-checking when the other team steals the puck.

In the friendly game we had this Christmas, I found it harder to keep the puck on my stick. Even the youngest of nephews was able to check the puck off me. I’d make a rush up the ice and that was about it for the next couple of minutes.

I remember when I was younger I could play all day and never tire. I hated having to go to the bench. I only went to give others a chance to play; I sure didn’t need the rest!

Now I take short shifts and actually enjoy my time when I’m on the bench, catching my breath. … Although with my past heart issues, I will often pace behind the bench to bring my heart rate down slowly.

Don’t get me wrong, I can still keep up, but they are starting to take over. There’s more of them and they are more dominant now.

I guess I should be sad to see the changing of the guard, knowing that it’s time to step aside for the youth movement in our family.

But you know, you also can’t help but see yourself in family. When I see my son or one of my nephews skate up the ice, I only have pride.

Here’s the thing: The more we start to age, the more we notice how the youth are taking over. But when it comes to spiritual things, we should allow the ancient one, the God of Abraham and Isaac to take over. That is the one area where youth don’t run the show. Let Christ take over your life. Here’s wishing you a very Merry Christmas.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What needs to move over in your life? Leave your comments below.

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I’m All Prepared For Christmas

This time of year is all about being prepared. Christmas has a deadline that seems to sneak up on most of us every year.

There have been years, like this one, where I have been prepared for Christmas. Coming down to the last few days, I’m not panicked about still finding that one main gift for Lily.

But this year may be more of an exception for me. I don’t remember feeling this ready for Christmas very often.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those people who has my shopping done by mid-September. But this year, I bought Lily’s main gift in early November.

That might not be early for some people, but for me that’s like buying Christmas presents in July – it was a very early purchase.

And I wrapped things up a full five days before the big day. For me that’s so liberating because other things are also pressing on me.

One thing I was not prepared for this week was my board meeting. I had all the reports and data ready for the meeting but it was the presentation, the flow of the meeting that I was not prepared for.

I thought I had scheduled enough time to put some thought into how long to spend on each section and item, and how to present one new thing I wanted to start with the board.

But I ran into a few unexpected and unplanned encounters and I was late. I was only prepared on paper and not completely prepared to lead that meeting.

As for how the meeting went, let’s just say I didn’t sleep very well that night and I was still kicking myself the next day.

The funny thing about being prepared for Christmas is that we know when it is every year. It comes as no surprise.

The stores advertise well and offer bargains before Christmas to get you to come in and buy your presents.

We’re also becoming programmed by the US to start thinking about Christmas shopping at the end of November. Canadian stores even offer Black Friday sales the same weekend they do in the States … and we don’t even have a holiday then!

There really is no reason not to be prepared for Christmas every year. Yet if we procrastinate, and finish just at the deadline, we probably won’t change. It will become our pattern and we’ll run the risk of not being prepared for Christmas year after year.

Here’s the thing:  Christmas is when we celebrate the birth of Christ, His coming into the world. It may feel like a deadline, but it’s really a beginning – a beginning that leads to a deadline. Christ came into the world so that we could be prepared for the end of our time here. He did all the work for us by dying on the cross for our sin and rising to bring us a relationship with His Father. Our deadline is what we need to be prepared for and to not put off; we never know what tomorrow will bring. It’s the most important deadline there is for each of us. Be prepared; be prepared well in advance.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What’s the deadline that has you stressed right now? Leave your comments below.

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My Family Christmas Is Filled With Anticipation and Expectation

Every trip we take is packed with anticipation and expectation.

It doesn’t matter how long the trip will be or what kind of trip it is, these two elements are stuffed into everywhere we go.

Let me explain …

As I write this piece, it’s 6:30 am – about an hour and a half before we leave for our annual trip to Toronto for my side of the family’s Christmas.

We’ve made this one-day, 3 hours there and 3 hours back trip for the last 21 years in a row.

And I am anticipating the trip. … I think my blood pressure was up a little today just knowing that we will be leaving soon.

I woke up this morning before my alarm – which doesn’t happen too often – which is another indicator of my anticipation.

I’ve been thinking of what I have to do, and the timing for getting everything ready to leave on time.

We have anticipation for every place we go, even if it is going to the corner store for milk.

The other element is the expectation. Here is where the trip gets interesting. This expectation is based on and feeds off of our history, experience and knowledge.

For instance, today when we leave I have 21 years of experience making this trip at this time of year. So when I see or hear of possible road conditions, I immediately think of several trips that had the same conditions.

Last night it was snowing and the roads were pretty greasy. That type of snow on the roads will make for a more stress-filled trip.

It brings to mind our trip in 2004 when there was only one lane of traffic and every car was in single file going 40 km’s per hour.

Well, that was until a bus blew by us going 100 and I realized that was our only chance to make it. I plowed over the ruts, got in the bus’s tracks and left the traffic in the dust … I guess I should technically say we left the traffic in the snow.

Last night the snow stopped at about 1 a.m.; the road crews should have cleared the highway of snow by now.

So my experience tells me today’s trip will be a little less stressful and a little quicker.

When the roads are clear, my expectations change and it impacts my anticipation.

I know when we have to leave, and what I need to gather together to be ready to leave, and at what time I need to do various things to be ready to leave on time.

I have my anticipation and expectation locked for this trip.

Wait! Stop the presses! My son just texted me; I have to pick him up right now.

Wow – everything has suddenly changed and my mind and emotions have to adjust to reset my expectation and my anticipation.

Here’s the thing: Every time we pray to God, it is like a trip we take with Him. We approach God with anticipation and expectation. But God is all-knowing and all-powerful; He may change your expectations and your anticipation in a flash. Don’t try to figure God out or put Him in a box; just go with the conditions and trust Him.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: In what ways have you put God in a box? Leave your comments below.

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I’m Feeling The Christmas Pressure

It must be time to put up the Christmas lights; I’m feeling the pressure.

Today I’m watching Lily decorate our upstairs Christmas tree. That’s right, we have an upstairs and a downstairs Christmas tree.

The upstairs one is hers. She decides what goes on it, and she does all the work. The downstairs tree is sort of the family’s tree; it has home-made decorations that we have given each other over the years.

Lily pretty much … well, actually completely puts that one up, too.

My line is that she takes care of the inside and I do the outside.

Just watching her do her thing puts the pressure on me to get moving with the outside lights.

But that’s not the only place from which I’m being pressured to get my task done.

There are several neighbours who already have their lights up. And when I drive down the next street, the homes there seem very much into the Christmas spirit.

About seven years ago I started thinking that people were putting more effort into Halloween decorations than they were Christmas. Now I think people are putting the same effort into decorating for Christmas as they do for Halloween.

For generations Christmas lights have basically been the same. You figured out a pattern of lights that worked on your house and you put them up every year. The only thing that you changed was the bulbs when they burned out.

Now there’s way more stuff!

They have big blow-up Christmas characters – I’m not talking about the baby Jesus and wise men; I’m talking about Frosty and Santa. Some of these blow-ups are as tall as a house!

There are also elaborate laser light shows that change rapidly and cover the whole front of a house.

It’s a big deal! And it seems that every year it’s getting to be an even bigger deal.

Not for me though. I’m old school; I have my pattern of how the lights go up and I just repeat that every year. I’m not trying to add anything new. I just hope that I can find the same eavestrough hooks I used last year.

What’s got me feeling the pressure to get my lights up today is that so many of my neighbours have their lights up, but I’m the Christian guy.

I’m the one who is really supposed to be into Christmas and I feel like not having my lights up yet is saying to them all that I don’t care as much as I should.

There is one other pressure and that’s the weather. It’s a nice day out there today – a balmy 8° Celsius (46 Fahrenheit). The chances that it will stay this warm for much longer are slim.

So between my wife, the neighbourhood, my perceived neighbours’ expectations of me and the weather, today’s the day when the lights go up.

I’m feeling the pressure.

Here’s the thing:  We feel pressure to do outward things, but do we feel pressure to do inward things? It’s hard not to give in to what we see in the world around us or what others are doing. But are you compelled in the same way to respond to what God wants you to do? The pressure to do outward things like put up the lights comes from within; we pressure ourselves. We should put that kind of pressure on ourselves to respond in obedience to what God wants us to do. Faith without obedience is not much good at all.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What should you put pressure on yourself to be doing? Leave your comments below.

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The Music Captured My Attention

Music has a way of capturing your attention and putting you in a mood. I guess that’s why the soundtrack of a movie is so important.

If you’ve ever watched a movie with no soundtrack and just the actors’ lines, you really feel like there is something missing.

The background music draws out the emotion in you that the scene is trying to create, whether it is tension or laughter or joy or sadness.

A scene with a car cruising down a beachside freeway will boost the emotions when the music is something like the first 20 seconds of Steppenwolf’s, “Born To Be Wild”.

You can instantly imagine yourself in the car, taking those curves, looking out at the waves crashing on the beach below you.

Well, the other day my wife, Lily, was watching the opening song for the country music awards.

I wasn’t watching but from the other side of the room I said, “That sounds like … like … like (it took me a while) Hootie.”

Then it came to me. It was a song by Hootie and the Blowfish and the lead singer – who is not Hootie but Darius Rucker – was featured in that all-star cast rendition of “Hold Your Hand”.

It was a fond memory and the song was so good it hooked me in.

I spend the next hour or so on YouTube listening to different renditions of that song and others by Darius Rucker’s band.

I can’t really explain it, but listening to that song highjacked my evening and got me in a mood to listen to more of the same.

That’s what songs do. They capture your emotions and reel you in so that you feel something you weren’t feeling just minutes before.

When you think about it, music has a great power.

When Lily and I went on our honeymoon, we drove to our destination at Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, about a 16 hour drive away.

We had lots of time in the car and there were a few songs that really captured our attention. We can both still remember those songs today.

That was 32 years ago, yet when we hear those songs now we both look at each other, smile and remember that drive.

Music has such a profound impact on emotions that you can find it being used everywhere to put people in the right mood …  whether it is in an elevator, a department store, a commercial, your car, or even at the hockey arena.

A few years ago, I think the rink where I played hockey was experimenting on us. They pumped happy, easy-going music into the dressing rooms and the arena.

I think it was to see if it would calm us down and keep the altercations to a minimum.

I never did find out the results of that study … if it was one.

Music is around us most of our day; we are rarely without music in our lives. We wake to it, fall asleep with it and it is a soundtrack to our day.

Here’s the thing: God created music to move our emotions. And some of the time our emotions should be moved towards God. Don’t neglect ensuring that your emotions are stirred towards the God who loves you, cares for you and has given His precious Son, Jesus to die for you. Whether secular or spiritual, your music on a regular basis should draw you to give God glory and worship Him.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What song stirs up your emotions? Leave your comments below.

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My Toothpaste Never Runs Out

Some things seem to last forever and never run out. You can always seem to get a little more out of them.

About two weeks ago I put toothpaste on the grocery list because I was running out.

I actually thought that I was going to squeeze the last out of the tube before we made a grocery run, but every day for the last two weeks there’s still been just a little more in the tube – just enough for one more brushing.

And every day I’ve thought that this was the last, but I keep getting enough for one more.

It’s like overnight it manufactures more toothpaste – not a lot mind you, but just enough for the next time I clean my teeth.

It’s like the Energizer bunny on the commercials; it just keeps going and going and going.

I have a razor that takes a battery and that thing lasts forever, too.

Oil also has that same characteristic. Have you ever put oil in your car and had to wait for the bottle to empty so you could cap the oil spout and get on your way?

You could stand there for ten minutes and there would still be a tiny stream of oil coming from that bottle.

It’s like the Old Testament story when the prophet told the widow to have her sons collect jars to put oil in. She kept pouring oil into the jars until she ran out of jars.

Finally the oil stopped flowing.

That was a miracle … even though it followed the pattern of how oil works.

I will tell you one thing that doesn’t have this forever principle and that is gas in your gas tank.

I’ve tested the theory out several times in my life and you can get the needle on the gas tank pretty low, usually even below the last mark on the gauge.

But if you push it, you’re going to run out of gas.

Probably the worst time that happened to me was about 9 pm one night when I was coming home from visiting a family. It was pouring rain and I ran out of gas on a fairly busy street.

I had to call home and have my son come to the rescue with a can of gas. … I got the impression that he was not too happy about it, especially about pouring the gas into the tank while getting seriously soaked.

But toothpaste keeps going. Today is the last morning I will be using this tube, but before I throw it in the garbage I’m going to see if I can squeeze one more dab out of it.

It’s not that I’m all that miserly when it comes to toothpaste. I don’t really think about it and hence, that’s why I’m still wringing out the last little blob.

… which gets me thinking, “How do they get toothpaste in there in the first place?” That’s a whole other blog post.

Here’s the thing: The grace of God works much the same way. When you think that you have run out of God’s favour, when you think that God couldn’t possibly forgive you, or have anything to do with you, there is just enough grace for that time. Don’t ever give up or look elsewhere; you can always find grace when you seek Him authentically.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: When have you received unexpected grace? Leave your comments below.