family

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Anyone Need Their Grass Cut?

From time to time I will republish a post I’ve written in the past. The post was originally written and published in October 2012.

Sometimes you start a simple task or job and it grows into something bigger. I have certainly experienced this at times in my life.

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One time we had a water leak in our vacation trailer.  I decided to see if I could fix it myself.  I checked and found the problem needed to be fixed from the outside, which meant peeling off the metal shell at the front of the trailer.

I started at the bottom and noticed the problem extended a little higher so I took off the next strip, then the next, and the next.

When I had the whole front of the trailer removed, with just the wood frame left in place, I stepped back and thought, “What have I done?!”  It was way more work than I had thought.

Another time we had a leak in our basement.  I thought I would dig a hole outside and patch the foundation where the leak was.  In the end, the hole I dug was over 5 feet deep and about 12 feet long.  Again, that job got way bigger than I had first thought!

Reading about those two experiences, you might think they weren’t that bad, and that I must be a handy guy.  That’s where you would be VERY wrong!  I’m not that handy, and for all the handy work I have done, I don’t really like it.

It takes me too long; I don’t have the right tools; I make mistakes; I get frustrated; I get discouraged; I cut myself (another story).

Recently, we were at our cottage on a rainy weekend, when we happened to get a break from the rain for a few hours.  I decided I’d better take the opportunity to cut the grass since we wouldn’t be back for a few weeks.

It’s such a small piece of lawn that the job really doesn’t take much time.  But, as I was running the lawnmower over our grass, I thought about my brother’s lawn.  He had left his cottage a few hours earlier in the rain and I had noticed that his lawn needed a cut.

Since he’s up at his cottage almost every weekend and often cuts our grass (because we don’t get there all that frequently), I thought it was my chance to return the favour.  So, when I finished our lawn, I walked over to his place and started to cut his grass.

As I got close to finishing, I started to think about my brother’s neighbour who’s wife had just had surgery and was in intensive care at the hospital.

I thought, “That guy doesn’t need to be bothered with his lawn”.  So, as I finished with my brother’s lawn, I just kept going and worked on his neighbour’s.

As I walked back to my place pushing my lawnmower, I realized this was one of the few times a job that got bigger didn’t become frustrating or discouraging.  In fact, I walked with a sense of satisfaction that I had, in some small way, been a help to others.

Here’s the thing:  One of the greatest ways we can show the love of God to others is not by telling them but by showing them.  The problem is it takes time and, for many of us, time is precious.  We don’t have a lot of extra time to allow the task or job we are working on to become any bigger.  But sometimes that is exactly how we are to “love one another as I have loved you” John 13:34.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What kind of “loving one another” acts have you done recently?

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Accidents Happen In The Blink Of An Eye

It happened in the blink of an eye; the deer came out of nowhere. Last night we hit a deer traveling to our cottage to close it up for the winter.

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I had no time to react, just absorb the hit and keep the car on the road.

It was the perfect scenario for such an accident. It was dark, and there was a misty rain in the air, so visibility was hindered.

My headlights picked up the deer about one to two seconds before we hit him. All I could do was hold on to the steering wheel and keep the car steady.

We hit him in his hind quarter and he glanced off the passenger side of the front bumper.

I figure he came toward the headlights from the shoulder on the same side of the road as us. At the last moment he tried to veer off, and that’s when we clipped him.

The car continued to drive fine, but everything was not okay.

The plastic bumper was cracked and smashed. He took out our light assembly on the passenger side, and the front quarter panel was pushed back slightly so that the passenger door wouldn’t open very much.

The hood sustained a small crease and though it stayed shut, I’m unsure whether it would shut again if I tried to lift it.

The deer kept going.

On the inside of the car, we were fine. No airbags went off; neither Lily or I sustained any injury. But the dashboard lights went out, and I found out later the passenger tail light was also out.

I’ve never had a head-on collision before … unless you count the time I ran into a fence.

I was about 10 years old and my grandfather had been keeping an old 1930’s car in our driveway.

Some of the boys on the street thought it might be a great idea if we pushed the car into our backyard to see how far it would roll.

We had a little hill at the top of our yard, so all we really needed to do was get the car rolling and then let gravity do its job.

I was the logical driver since the car was on my property and it was my grandfather’s car.

It was my first time behind the wheel. I couldn’t even reach the pedals but that was okay because the drive was all about momentum.

Actually, for my first driving lesson I did pretty well. I kept the car going straight, didn’t swerve or even hit anyone. It all went great until I hit the fence at the end of the yard. No damage; the car went into the chain link fence and bounced back a bit.

The only damage came later when I had to face my dad concerning my first driving incident!

Yesterday caused a little more damage to the car than that first head-on 50 years ago.

I’m kind of hoping this is my last collision. I do plan, however, to tell my friends who are hunters that I got my first deer.

Here’s the thing: Things in life can happen very quickly, with little or no warning. You can’t always be ready and prepared for what is coming next. That’s why it’s best to have your future settled, for whatever might happen. Be sure that you have a relationship with Christ Jesus, and that you are trusting Him now and for the future.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What plans have you made for the future? Leave you comments below.

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You Shouldn’t Have To Wonder Where The People Are

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The other day I wondered, “Where are all the people? Where have they gone?”

This question arose as I stood up to preach on Sunday morning. I gazed over the congregation; it was mostly empty seats that were staring back at me.

There have been times when our service was very poorly attended but that usually came the day after an ice storm.

But this was a sunny, warm, fall morning – one of those mornings where the sun peeks through the curtains and beckons you to get up and get moving.

And it was a great day. It was Thanksgiving Sunday (in Canada) … but there were not many in church.

That afternoon my son and I took in the Kingston Frontenacs OHL hockey game.

But there weren’t many at the game. Normally there would be 4000 plus in attendance, but that day there was just over 2000.

The arena looked empty; we could have sat anywhere we liked.

I wondered why there were so few people at the game when it was a holiday the next day. Much like church that morning, there were more empty seats than filled ones.

“Where is everyone?”, I thought.

Sure it was Thanksgiving weekend and people get together with family and friends for a big turkey dinner. I figured many people would have that big meal on Monday at some odd time like 2 in the afternoon.

… I’m not sure why we have special meals outside of regular meal times, but we do.

Maybe most people were having their big meal mid-afternoon.

That might be why no one came to the hockey game, but what about church? No one was going to have turkey, stuffing and pumpkin pie for brunch mid-morning.

It seemed like it was going to be one of those unsolved mysteries.

We were having our family and friends for turkey dinner as well. Sunday late afternoon the house was smelling like there was going to be a royal feast.

Everyone gathered and we sat down to a phenomenal Thanksgiving dinner. There was turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, carrots cooked in a special sauce, fresh rolls, a marshmallow salad (which I consider a teaser for the dessert to follow) … and we had gravy – lots of gravy!

We finished off with pumpkin pie and whipping cream – lots of whipping cream!

The meal didn’t start until around 6:45 pm, but it was worth waiting for. We talked and laughed and ate until we were really full.

Then something broke the festivities.

I got a notice on my phone; there was a score. I stood up and announced we better get to the TV; it was already 1-0 for Texas over the Blue Jays.

We quickly made our way to the TV and, as we settling in, Toronto hit two home runs and went ahead 3-1. They later went on to win the game and sweep Texas from the playoffs.

I learned something watching the game. I learned where everyone was. They were in Toronto watching that baseball game. The stadium was jammed with 50,000 plus people and there were millions watching all over the country.

Mystery solved.

Here’s the thing: One day when Christ returns, there will be those who wonder where all the people went. It will seem like a mystery; they will just be gone. But in heaven there will be a celebration going on that will outdo any division sweeping championship game at the Rogers Centre. Be sure you’re at that one and not just watching on TV.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you imagine a celebration like that? Leave your comments below.

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You Need An Outlet In Your Life (part 2)

In my last post (you can read it here) I talked about how we need outlets in our lives for when we find ourselves in times of sustained pressure or burdens of some kind.

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But having one outlet isn’t enough; it will never fit all times and situations. You need several outlets.

In a home, we have many outlets in each room because we need the options. We need several outlets because usually at least one is obstructed, behind a couch or a dresser, not accessible.

With regard to outlets in your life, you need several for the variety of situations that come up.

I have a few outlets that I use at different times. One of my main outlets is sports.

But I can’t use the same one all the time. I can’t mountain bike in the winter or when it’s raining out; I can’t play hockey very much in the summer.

So I need other outlets that I can turn to when one outlet won’t work.

What you need to do is sit down and figure out what an outlet would be for you. It needs to be something you really enjoy, something that is readily available.

For me I can play hockey at noon most days of the week throughout the winter. That gives me options that I can co-ordinate with my schedule.

Find something that you enjoy that has some options or flexibility to it. Alternatively, find something you enjoy and put it into your regular schedule.

Many of us think that enjoyment is something that comes after the work gets done, something that’s an option.

But in many of our lives, the work is never done so outlets are not an option if we want to stay healthy mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Make a list of things you enjoy that you can do on your own, and things you enjoy that you can do with others.

If you’re someone who’s mainly focused on work, this will not be an easy step. Take some time; maybe you will have to discover or develop some things you enjoy doing.

Then you need to schedule them. Commit to using an outlet a few times a week, and slot it in to your schedule from week to week where it works best.

Or you join a class or team and just commit to that regular schedule.

Be cautious of only having outlets that only involve you. When the pressure is particularly great, it will be easy to bail out of it, since you’re not letting anyone else down if you do.

Sometimes the motivation isn’t there when it’s just something you are going to do by yourself. I’ve found it difficult in the last couple of weeks to hit the trails on my mountain bike. It seems to take a lot of extra effort to get going when it’s just me. I’ve backed out a few times lately.

Having that list and scheduling your outlets will really help keep you from being crushed under the pressure or burden of life and work.

Here’s the thing: Ask God for His help in finding an outlet and for the motivation to use an outlet when the pressure or burden seems too much. God is faithful and will help us at those times if we seek Him.

That’s Life!

Paul

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It’s A New Era In Our Family

Well, we are starting a new era in our family: it’s a “no kids in the city” era.

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My wife, Lily, and I have been empty-nesters for a few years now but we’ve always had our son in the city … and for the last nine months he’s lived only about five minutes away.

But a work promotion and transfer have taken Mike to Burlington, southwest of Toronto. Now both our kids are down that way.

I’m not complaining because it’s nice that they are close enough for us to get to and not too far for them to sometimes come home.

In fact, after one week on the job, Mike decided to spend the weekend in Kingston since he’s living in a hotel for a couple of weeks. Karlie decided she’d come home too, so we had both kids home … though I think Mike’s idea of coming home was more about seeing his buddies than his family.

We got a golf game in one morning and it dawned on me that this won’t be happening too much any more. And since the hockey season will be starting soon, I won’t be playing hockey with him Saturday mornings either.

No more popping over for lunch in between work calls, or enticing him over for a meal that he particularly likes.

This is just what naturally happens as a family matures.

It sure is different from when I left home. I went to school out west and then got a job further west. I lived away from my family for 15 years before I returned back to the province.

Communication back then was not like it is now. There were no cell phones, no internet. Letters and expensive long distance charges were the order of that day.

Although we are a few hours away from both our children, at least we can keep up by phone (unlimited long distance), text messages, and even video chats.

It’s a different day.

But our home is now down one person who might burst through the door just to say hi or come for a meal. That is gone.

But what’s not gone is all his stuff. We saw the movers come and take his furniture and belongings in their big truck, yet in the basement there’s still a room that seems quite full of his stuff.

… Thinking about it, Karlie has continued to store stuff with us and it’s been more than a few years since she moved out.

That’s different from my experience as well. When I moved to Edmonton, I remember my dad saying, “Take it all, Paul; don’t leave anything!”

I guess it will give us an excuse to visit, and take a box of stuff every time we do.

It’s a new era for us, but it won’t be the last. When I look back, I’ve enjoyed my kids at every stage of their development. This is just one more stage.

Here’s the thing: Take comfort in the fact that God never tires of you. He enjoys each stage of your spiritual development along your life’s journey. His desire is that you will grow, but He is pleased with you right where you are now.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What stage have you had to get used to in your family’s development? Leave your comments below.

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I’ve Been On The Road Too Much!

I think I just need to stay put for a little while. I feel like I’ve been on the road too much.

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Over the last month I’ve done a fair bit of traveling – not to any exotic or far away places … I’ve just been doing a lot of driving.

The good thing is I like driving, but I think it’s time to take a break and stay closer to home for a while.

Our cottage is almost 500 kilometres away from us (that’s 310 miles), and in the last month I’ve made that trip two and a half times – about 2,500 kilometres.

This last trip sort of finished me off. I had meetings just east of Toronto and then was going to take in a one-day seminar up north where our cottage is.

I spent a night at our daughter’s home, then two nights in a hotel, another night at our daughter’s and then one night at our cottage.

There was one more stop along the way, however. Our son is moving and we offered to help him do some apartment hunting in Burlington, which is southwest of Toronto.

That little adventure went very well and we found something for him by lunch time. We were pretty happy about our find and relieved that one more detail of his move was settled.

But I was already pretty tired and we had another 2 1/2 hours of driving to get to the cottage.

We were driving on different roads than we normally take and it seemed we were winding our way through the countryside and at the mercy of slow moving vehicles and road construction.

I’m not sure whether it was all the driving we were doing or the amount of time I was spending in the car, but I began to think that we needed a new car.

… a car that floated on air; one that was quiet on the inside, with no sound of the road or the wind; a car that had seats that formed to your body, and one you could put on auto-pilot and sit back and close your eyes in.

I guess I’m describing a limousine service. And I sure could have used it! By the time we got to our cottage I was done in.

I needed to just lie down and take a nap. But even that seemed to be short-lived. I was interrupted by dinner and then a walk along the beach.

Even waking up the next morning came an hour or so too early for my liking, but we had the seminar to attend and then pack up and head back home.

I felt a little like a rock star on tour. They say sometimes they don’t remember what town they’re in; it’s all a blur.

For me, I just want to stay inside the city limits for a week or so. Then I’ll probably be ready to make another trip.

Here’s the thing: One of the reasons traveling takes a toll on you is you get out of your routines and are away from everything familiar. You sleep in different places, eat out more, and don’t have the comfort and familiarity of home. One thing you can do to help steady yourself is to keep your time with God. Remember that no matter where you go, He is our constant; He never changes. Our home is with Him.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How does traveling unsettle you? Leave your comments below.

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Like A Frog Who Grows Accustomed To Hot Water

Have you ever grown accustomed to something that isn’t very good for you?

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Sure you have! In fact, there is probably something that you think is fine and it’s really not.

The other day, my wife and I were out shopping for mattresses. It’s only been twenty-five years since we’ve had a new one.

… And that’s my point. I’m used to my mattress; I sleep on it every night. But when I laid down on some of the mattresses in the store, I realized my mattress is not doing me any favours.

At one time it was a good mattress. But how could I go so long lying on a mattress that no longer had any support?

The answer is that it didn’t go bad all of a sudden. It took time; it happened incrementally so that I adjusted to the bed as it got older and weaker.

It’s like the old frog in a pot syndrome. Frogs can’t live in hot water. … I learned that as a boy.

One time we were down at the river by our house and caught a bunch of frogs. We had about 6 or 8 of them.

When we got back home, we filled a basin up with water from the outside hose. The only problem was that the outside hose was filled with hot water because the sun had been beating down on it all day.

Well, we filled the basin up and threw in our frogs.

To our surprise, those little leaps died instantly, spread eagle style! It was too much for their system.

But if you put a frog in cool water and gradually warm it up, the frog won’t jump out as it gets hotter. It will stay there until it’s too late, letting itself get cooked.

Same thing with us. We get so used to the incremental changes that we don’t even notice them.

Well, that is until we lie on a bed in the store and realize what a pile of junk our bed really is!

Our son is in the market for a mattress and Lily suggested he take ours. He laid on it for about three seconds, laughed and said, “Not a chance!”

While we were in the store, I found a mattress with a remote control that raised the head of the bed almost to a sitting position. I suggested to Lily that maybe we should get it. She just shook her head as she lay on the bed she wanted.

Just then the salesman came by. I turned to him and said, “I’m taking this one and she’s taking that one.” … We would have had wall-to-wall mattresses if we did that.

I’m looking forward to my new mattress. I only have to put up with the lousy mattress we presently have for another two weeks.

I guess I’ll be able to make it; it’s only been a quarter of a century putting up with it.

And to think that a week ago I thought our mattress was just fine.

Here’s the thing: We really need to evaluate our life from time to time. Are there things in our life that we’ve grown accustomed to that are detrimental to our spiritual growth, and may be hindering our relationship with Christ? Take stock of what they may be and make a change. Don’t keep living in a way that is detrimental to your spiritual health.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you grown accustomed to that may not be all that good for you? Leave your comments below.

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Live Life By The Codes

There used to be unwritten rules that you lived by. I’m not sure, but maybe some of those codes are changing – certainly some are disappearing.

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We all know some unwritten rules, things you just do or don’t do. No one has to say anything; it’s just the way things work.

When I was a kid one of those codes was that you didn’t tell on your brother. Nobody told me to do that; it was just what you did.

There are all kinds of these unwritten rules that we follow to help one another out, to be on the same side.

But some of these rules or codes that we live by aren’t being followed anymore.

In hockey there used to be an unwritten rule that you didn’t go after the superstar of the team. You didn’t try to hit him too hard; you didn’t cheap shot him.

But that code started to disappear so they had to put a tough guy on the same line as the superstar as a deterrent. It was like a warning: you lay a finger on Wayne Gretzky and you will pay the price of having Dave “Cement Head” Semenko come after you.

Now it’s a free-for-all on the superstars of the team. The game has changed and the enforcers are not there anymore.

And maybe that’s what it’s like everywhere … times have changed and it’s just different.

There used to be a code among drivers that a car coming the opposite way would flash their lights to warn you if there was a police radar up ahead. It was common practice.

It’s illegal now – maybe it always was – and people don’t do it anymore.

There is no code of the road for drivers to look out for each other. It’s no longer us against the speed trap.

But I got a break the other day.

I was going up a hill on a highway, maybe going a little fast … maybe. There was a line of cars coming down the hill the other way. In the middle of the pack I thought I noticed a car flash his lights. I almost missed it because it was so unusual.

I took my foot off the accelerator. As I got to the crest of the hill and started down the other side,  there he was – a black and white OPP waiting for me.

Well, thankfully he wasn’t waiting for me because someone on the other side of the hill remembered the code and warned me.

We were on the same team; it was us against them. I kind of doubt that many others caught the same warning I did. We just don’t live by that code anymore.

The unwritten code of the road is you look out for your fellow drivers. It’s a great code. Unfortunately, most of us drive in such a way that our fellow drivers are our competition or enemies on the road.

… Driving might be a whole lot more enjoyable if we followed the codes.

Here’s the thing: There are faith codes as well. When someone confides in us, the unwritten code is to pray for that person or issue – not just once, but to keep that person in your prayers. However, with our busy, more self-centred lives, we often fail to live by the code. Get back to praying for the needs of others who bring their concerns to you … and keep at it.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What unwritten code would you like to bring back? Leave your comments below.

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Presence of mind

From time to time I will republish a post I’ve written in the past. The post was originally written and published in April 2012.

There’s a song called “Holiday in my Head” by a group named Smash Mouth. The song is all about how we can travel in our mind to fantastic places and have a great time, while never leaving our home.

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One line in the song states, “I’m just looking for paradise in my living room.”

We all remember being in class when we were young and hearing the teacher get upset at a student who was gazing out the window instead of paying attention.  The student was day dreaming.

He was present in class but he wasn’t there in his mind. In his mind, he was either somewhere far away or maybe just playing soccer on the field with another class.

I used to do that.  There were times, while playing with my kids, that I would get very tired.  I would end up sprawled out on the living room floor, fallen sleep while my kids would continue to play around me and on me, using my body and limbs as their toys.

When Lily would come into the room, she would just shake her head to the kids’ response of, “Look Mommy, we’re playing with Daddy.”  The truth is, I was present in body but certainly not with my mind. We can, at times, be present but not really present.

During my devotions the other day I read a verse from 2 Peter 3:8 which reads, “But you must not forget this one thing, dear friends: a day is like a thousand years to the Lord, and a thousand years is like a day.”

I have read this verse before but I’ve never really thought too much about it until now. What struck me was what this verse reveals about God.  I started to think about how the Lord is present all the time, in every situation.

If a day is like a thousand years to the Lord, then every day is under a microscope for him.  Every second, every moment the Lord takes in. He’s present, he’s active, he’s personal in it all, right down to the minute detail of the day.

But, then Peter says a thousand years is like a day to the Lord, and here it suggests to me that He sees how all the days unfold before him, that nothing escapes Him.

Therefore, the Lord is present, active and involved, knowing how each day and moment of my life fits together in His overall plan and picture.

Here’s the thing:  If God is present in every moment of my day, it means he is interested and available to me at any time in my day.  And, if God oversees how all the moments of my day fit into the big picture of my life, it means he is involved and active in the big picture of my life as well. Unlike us who daydream at times, or me, who at times, played with my kids without really playing with them, God is alway present.  He is interested and available, active and involved in our lives, moment by moment.  God is always fully present with us. That’s great to know.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: When were you present in body but not in your mind? Leave your comments below.

 

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I Lacked Discipline This Vacation

I’m realizing that I let myself go this year on my vacation. What I mean is I wasn’t very disciplined in exercising or in what I ate.

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There are reasons for what led me to this, but the bottom line was I ate way too much junk food and didn’t get out biking nearly as much as I should have.

I don’t know why I didn’t look back half way through my vacation and change my actions to find some discipline, but I didn’t.

That’s the whole thing, isn’t it? I wasn’t disciplined enough to want to do anything about how I was living.

So why now? I’ve come to the end of my vacation and now I start to reflect on how unruly I’ve been in the areas I needed to keep together.

I think it’s natural that when we come to the end of something we start to reflect. For example, at the end of each year, TV networks and sports stations have their year-in-review, broadcasting their top ten sports moments, and the biggest news events of the year.

So, it’s natural to look back on my vacation and think, “Wow, Paul, you really let yourself go!”

I think I ate more candy in the last few weeks than I have all year leading up to this point. When it comes to exercise, this vacation I’ve biked less and golfed less than I have in quite a few years.

I could blame it on the heat, that relentless, energy draining humidity that zaps the life right out of you, that sun the beats down on you to the point where all you can do is lie on a beach chair, or couch and ask for someone to pass you the bonbons.

I could blame it on the weather, but I’m not going to. This was the hottest, sunniest, best vacation weather we have had in about six years. I’m not about to start complaining.

It didn’t help that there was a candy store by the beach that sold imported exotic candy at ridiculously low prices.

And it didn’t help that I stayed up late at night so that I didn’t get up early each day to bike in the cooler temperatures.

As I look back, I could have done a few things differently.

I could have been stronger; I could have thought more of the consequences. … I could have left my money in the cottage when I went for my evening walks to see the sunset.

Now here I am, on the verge of leaving my vacation, and having some remorse for how I conducted myself during the time I’ve been away.

I feel like one of the Canadian Olympians who had a disappointing finish in his last swim race. He said he had trained well, and prepared the best he could for the games. He was simply disappointed that all his training and preparations didn’t produce better results.

That’s me. I came into the vacation thinking I was in good shape. Somehow the different setting – the sun, sand and surf – called out to me to let loose.

And that I did. I’ll be rolling back into town soon … literally rolling in. Then I will get back to my discipline.

Here’s the thing: It’s easy to get off track in your time with God, especially when you change your setting or routine, like on vacation. When that does happen, don’t beat yourself up. Simply make moves to get back to spending quality time with God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What gets you out-of-sync with your disciplines? Leave your comments below.