funeral

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Funeral Processional Etiquette Is Needed

From time to time I will repost an article from years past. This article was originally posted March 2013

funeral processional etiquette is needed

Last weekend I took part in a funeral. It all went very well until it came time for the interment. 

Getting to the cemetery meant a twenty minute drive through the city and in the country.   

Only family and close friends attended, while most others opted not to take the drive … probably a good thing because they never would have made it. 

You see, most people don’t follow other cars very well, driving too far behind the person they’re following. 

It’s like they’ve watched too many TV detective shows. They try to follow so the lead car doesn’t know they’re on their tail. 

I once had a person follow me to a destination they had never been to, yet they kept going slower and slower and falling farther and farther behind. 

At first, I slowed down to make sure they wouldn’t lose me, but then they slowed down even more! Finally, I just decided to drive and let them keep up to me. 

They never made it; they got lost and went home.

In a funeral procession, people really need to drive close to the car they’re following, especially through intersections. 

Personally, I like to get close to the car in front of me so the vehicles traveling in the other direction see that I’m part of a procession and don’t T-bone me when the light changes green for them.

Those other drivers on the road can be a real problem. Most of them act like they have no clue what’s going on. 

They see the hearse, the flashing lights, the long line of cars with little flags on their hoods like it’s a diplomatic motorcade, and they STILL try to jump into line like they want to be part of the parade! 

After all, their shopping trip to the mall has been timed down to the last minute. They didn’t calculate running into a funeral procession. 

There was a time when cars pulled over to the side of the road when they came upon a funeral procession – like we’re supposed to do with emergency vehicles. 

But then again, some people are not good at that either. I’m not sure whether people drive without looking around or whether they just don’t understand the unwritten rules of the road. 

When our procession of cars got out of the city, some cars pulled over to the side of the road, and two ladies who were walking stopped and just stood as the line of funeral cars went by. 

But most cars just kept going and even drove around the cars that had pulled over.  These people were both young and old – I know because I looked at them, trying to stare them down! 

We finally made it to the cemetery, with no accidents, and only missing one car. One with several of the family members in it. 

They arrived late because a car cut into the line and then didn’t go through and intersection with the rest of the procession. 

Going home from the cemetery only took about 10 minutes … there were no funeral processions to stop for.

Here’s the thing: In a funeral procession, you need to keep up and others need to pay attention. If you don’t keep up, other cars don’t know there is anything to pay attention to. In your Christian walk you need to keep in step with the Spirit (Galatians 5:25). So that others will pay attention and see a difference.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you find difficult about following someone?  Leave your comment below.

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The Extra Mile Made For A Long Day

Sometimes you just have to go the extra mile … and when I say the “extra mile” I really mean a whole lot of miles.

extra mile

Yesterday my wife, Lily, and I went on a road trip. They make movies out of these sorts of events. … I don’t think our road trip will make the movies, but it was quite a trip. 

We were on vacation but I needed to return home to do a funeral for a dear lady in my church. 

Here’s a question: How far would you travel for someone else? 

That question was asked a long time ago in the 60’s by a cigarette company called Camel. They ran an ad where they asked the question, “How far would you travel for a Camel?”

And that’s right, they used to advertise for cigarettes in newspapers, magazines and on television. Those ads didn’t even come with a warning from the surgeon general.

It was a different era back then. But the question in the commercial was to entice smokers to think that going out of their way to purchase Camel cigarettes was worth it. 

It was worth it for us to take that road trip yesterday. It was a chance for me to speak to a family about the hope they can have because of Christ, despite the sadness of their day.

We set out from our cottage at 5:30 am and drove to Kingston. It’s almost 500 km, and it takes about 5 hours to drive. 

We knew we would have to drive through Toronto during rush hour and so we decided to take the toll road that goes above the city. It helped make that part of the trip painless. The pain will come later when we get the bill from the 407 ETR.  

We spent the next six hours in Kingston. It was like I was back to work and done with vacation. 

Many people I saw asked me how our vacation was going, but I wanted to reply, “Wait – I’m still on vacation?” 

Yes, I was back home, and at the church where you would usually find me when I’m working, but I was still very much on vacation. 

Most people try to avoid doing work when they’re on vacation. Some people even have automated email messages letting everyone know that they are away and will not respond until they get back. Some even say they won’t respond – period. You better email them again when they return.

Certainly I try not to work when I’m on vacation, but for some things, for some people, you have to make an exception.  

This family was an exception I was willing to go that extra mile for.

When it was all done, the sun was still high in the sky, about 3:45 in the afternoon. And though we had originally thought we would stay overnight at home and return to the cottage in the morning, we decided to head right back.

We figured the drive would be an extra long one because it was the start of a long weekend, but the trip ended up being as easy as the one we had taken in the morning.  

We arrived back at the cottage at 9:30 pm, sixteen hours after we had left. 

We were back on vacation.

Here’s the thing: Christ went the extra mile for all of us. He died on a cross to pay for our sins and rose again to offer us a relationship with God and eternal life. Was it worth it? It definitely was. But for us to benefit from what Christ did, we each have to have a relationship with Him. Make sure you’re benefitting from all that Christ did for you.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you gone the extra mile for lately? Leave your comments and questions below.

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The Secret Sauce In Serving

There is something about serving that pays back greater value than just being part of something.

church-picnic

This past week our church had two events that required groups of people to come together to serve others. On Wednesday we had a funeral at our church which included putting on a lunch reception after the service. Four days later we had our church picnic, which required a group of people coming together to serve all those attending.

Both of these events involved food, and lots of it!

They say there is a connection that is made when we eat together. And you can sure see it. When people have a sandwich, or hamburger, being mangled between their teeth, though it’s difficult to understand what they’re saying, there seems to be an easy flow of words.

Give people food and they will gather and they will talk. Food loosens us up; it makes us more social. Food gives us something to do with our hands.

Maybe it’s a distraction from standing face to face with nothing but a few inches of air between us. With food you have this other thing you’re doing on the side while you chew the fat with the person across from you.

… But when the food is gone and the conversation ends, you get up and walk away.

Serving goes deeper than that. Maybe that’s why it’s more difficult to get people to serve – more is required but more is gained as well.

When you serve at these kinds of functions you are doing more than eating and talking. You are part of making it all happen. You are the ones that make it possible for someone to feel comfortable stuffing a grape in the corner of their cheek while explaining what their family is up to these days.

You get to eat and talk too, but you’re an insider. You were there to set up, or cook, or clean up.

There is some kind of satisfaction you have when it’s done. You don’t just get up and walk away. There is a feeling of “we did it; it all came together … we helped” that those who just attended don’t have.

And that’s the secret sauce. It does take more effort, but the payoff is much greater. You don’t just walk away and forget about the event. You’re glad you made someone’s day, or that you helped make it happen. There’s a sense of connection with those you served with.

Between the funeral and the picnic this past week at our church, there were many who helped out and served. I’m proud to be part of a church that pitches in, digs down and makes something happen for the benefit of others.

Thanks KAC! You know who you are and what you did. I just want you to know I appreciate it all. And I hope you tasted the secret sauce of serving at these events.

Here’s the thing: When you serve the Lord, no matter how great or small, the secret sauce you taste is knowing that you’ve pleased your heavenly Father, that you have done something that has lasting, eternal value, and that you’re developing a deeper connection with Christ (and starting to look more like Him). Keep serving.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What is one highlight you have from serving the Lord? I’d love to hear from you; leave your comment below.