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Like A Frog Who Grows Accustomed To Hot Water

Have you ever grown accustomed to something that isn’t very good for you?

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Sure you have! In fact, there is probably something that you think is fine and it’s really not.

The other day, my wife and I were out shopping for mattresses. It’s only been twenty-five years since we’ve had a new one.

… And that’s my point. I’m used to my mattress; I sleep on it every night. But when I laid down on some of the mattresses in the store, I realized my mattress is not doing me any favours.

At one time it was a good mattress. But how could I go so long lying on a mattress that no longer had any support?

The answer is that it didn’t go bad all of a sudden. It took time; it happened incrementally so that I adjusted to the bed as it got older and weaker.

It’s like the old frog in a pot syndrome. Frogs can’t live in hot water. … I learned that as a boy.

One time we were down at the river by our house and caught a bunch of frogs. We had about 6 or 8 of them.

When we got back home, we filled a basin up with water from the outside hose. The only problem was that the outside hose was filled with hot water because the sun had been beating down on it all day.

Well, we filled the basin up and threw in our frogs.

To our surprise, those little leaps died instantly, spread eagle style! It was too much for their system.

But if you put a frog in cool water and gradually warm it up, the frog won’t jump out as it gets hotter. It will stay there until it’s too late, letting itself get cooked.

Same thing with us. We get so used to the incremental changes that we don’t even notice them.

Well, that is until we lie on a bed in the store and realize what a pile of junk our bed really is!

Our son is in the market for a mattress and Lily suggested he take ours. He laid on it for about three seconds, laughed and said, “Not a chance!”

While we were in the store, I found a mattress with a remote control that raised the head of the bed almost to a sitting position. I suggested to Lily that maybe we should get it. She just shook her head as she lay on the bed she wanted.

Just then the salesman came by. I turned to him and said, “I’m taking this one and she’s taking that one.” … We would have had wall-to-wall mattresses if we did that.

I’m looking forward to my new mattress. I only have to put up with the lousy mattress we presently have for another two weeks.

I guess I’ll be able to make it; it’s only been a quarter of a century putting up with it.

And to think that a week ago I thought our mattress was just fine.

Here’s the thing: We really need to evaluate our life from time to time. Are there things in our life that we’ve grown accustomed to that are detrimental to our spiritual growth, and may be hindering our relationship with Christ? Take stock of what they may be and make a change. Don’t keep living in a way that is detrimental to your spiritual health.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you grown accustomed to that may not be all that good for you? Leave your comments below.

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What To Do When You Push It Too Hard

I’ve been pushing myself pretty hard lately … too hard, in fact.

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I came off of my summer vacation without having done very much – mostly hanging out at the beach and doing things with my family.

Oh yes, and eating an enormous amount of candy.

Then coming off of vacation, I threw myself into work. I spent one week in the office and then the next week I spent back at my cottage planning for the year.

… I think that week took more out of me than my first week after vacation. I worked every morning, afternoon and evening because I was alone, and needed to get everything done by the time I left.

There were some late nights, but I knew I would be glad I spent the time once I completed my planning.

This week I’ve poured myself back into work at the office, working and not doing much else.

I’m just coming to realize that I’ve been pushing myself too hard. I need to watch it and be smart about the next few weeks.

The issue is my emotional state. I’ve noticed I have a lack of emotion lately and that is concerning. I have not been attending to my emotions – it’s been all work – and now I’m depleted in the emotional department.

What brought this to my attention was a sermon I was writing on emotional health. For an illustration, I wanted to use a story I remembered reading about a famous pastor who had had an emotional breakdown.

I’d read an article about him years ago, so I googled his name and found the story. My intent was to get the facts straight and then get back to writing my sermon.

But as I read his story, it rang true with my life. I read the whole article again and concluded that my “emotional gauge”, as he put it, was on the low side … not critical but going in that direction.

Two things he wrote made sense to me and that’s what I intend to work on.

First you have to engage in things that bring you joy, things that take you away from the heavy load you are carrying, whether that be work, worry, pressure, or … well, you get the idea.

For me that might be golfing, biking, playing hockey, or kicking back and listening to music.

Second, your emotional reservoir takes time to fill up.

There is no quick fix, so you have to regularly engage in emotionally strengthening activity … which isn’t easy because the crazy thing is you don’t feel like doing it.

It’s easy to make excuses to get out of doing these activities. You literally have to schedule them, force yourself to do them, and keep doing them.

That’s good advice and it’s what I need to be doing over the next little while to get myself in post-vacation shape again.

Here’s the thing: What I’ve written so far is good, logical advice, but there is another piece to your emotional health, and that is God. Take time with Him and seek His help. Ask Him what is at the root of your emotions and what you need to do. Then pause and wait till He gives you His answer. When you have it, go do it. God’s grace is sufficient for you and His power is made perfect in your weakness. I read that somewhere (2 Corinthians 12:9).

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What is your emotional state right now? Leave your comments below.

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Near Painless Method For Keeping Your Kitchen Clean

This week I found an almost painless way to keep a kitchen looking clean all the time.

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If you know me, you know I’m not really the guy you would naturally go to for tips on anything in the kitchen. I can boil an egg though. I proved it this week – two actually, and they were delicious.

My kitchen and culinary skills have never evolved to any extent and it may be due to always having someone in my life who had those skills.

It’s not that I dislike cooking, it’s that I don’t really know how to do it. I’m okay with a BBQ, and that’s probably what saved me this week.

I was away at our cottage ALONE doing my yearly planning, so I had to fend for myself in the kitchen. Almost all my meals consisted of using the BBQ.

The meals turned out tasty … with all the food groups represented in some sort of fashion.

However, with cooking there also comes cleaning. I never thought they went hand in hand before, but that was because we had a dishwasher.

The dishwasher is neat; you put the dishes in it and the kitchen looks clean.

There was a time when our dishwasher broke down and I was forced to do dishes with my wife. It was a trial and it was traumatic. I wrote a few blog posts about it (you can read them here).

This week I started off ignoring the fact that I needed to wash the dishes. I soon realized you can only do that for a couple of meals. Then the dishes pile up in the sink until you can’t get any more in and they spill over onto the counter.

So I decided to try something. When I started a meal I would run water in the sink and throw some dish soap in. Then, as I made my dinner, when I was finished with something, I would run it through the water, swish it with a cloth, and place it on the drying rack.

By the end of the meal, I only had a few things to clean up. I would quickly wash them and then dry them all with a towel.

It was simple – almost painless. I never stood over the sink for more than a few minutes and best of all, the kitchen virtually looked clean all the time.

It was amazing. I never went by the kitchen trying to avert my eyes from the mess. I never got that nagging feeling of “I’ve got to get at the dishes”.

Like a home with a built-in dishwasher is how my kitchen looked. Don’t get me wrong, I’d be happier with a dishwasher – and I don’t even mind what kind of dishwasher – either the built-in model or the live-in kind.

I’m not going to push my luck though. My new method is something that might be helpful to someone else in my family.

Here’s the thing: I’ve been reading through the Bible each year for the last 17 years. Sometimes I would get really far behind and have to exhaust myself trying to catch up. I’ve found it best to set a time and read a little bit (about 4 chapters) every day. That way you can keep up and you never have that pile of scripture that you have to clean up all in one sitting.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How has keeping up with something helped keep you from being burdened with it?  Leave your comments below.

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Why Barbecues Don’t Last

I know it’s getting late in the season – I’m talking barbecue season – but things are starting to fall apart, literally … and what’s falling apart is my BBQ!

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There are all different shapes and sizes of BBQs out there, ranging in price from around $100 to $2000. But no matter the price, they are all going to last basically the same length of time. In three to five years you will be looking for a new one; it’s just how they’re made.

I’ve had my BBQ for five years now, and it’s actually in pretty good shape. If you looked at it with the lid down you’d think, “You don’t need a new Q; what you’ve got is just fine.”

But when the lid is lifted, and you get to see the grill, let me tell you, that thing is disintegrating!

It’s a cast iron grill and don’t get me started on the maintenance that’s needed to keep these grills in good working order! You need to devote about 40 percent of your spare time just to “season” the grill so that it won’t rust and start to flake off.

I can’t begin to guess how much canola oil I have put on that grill, painting the grid over and over, only to need to do it the next time I pulled back the cover.

I really need a new grill. But when you look at the size of the grill in comparison to the overall size of the BBQ, though it’s a small part, it costs a lot of money.

I would have to spend about $100 to replace it … that is, if I could find a replacement grill!

You see, all the manufacturers have different grill sizes. There is no standard, making it impossible to find your exact size anywhere.

The only thing you can do is get those universal grills that supposedly adjust to fit your size. But I don’t think that’s the answer, either.

The one guaranteed thing about barbecuing is that the grill takes a bit of a beating. You scrape it with wire bristles; you use a spatula to flip meat on it … that grate gets moved from side to side.

Those universal grills they can’t take the workout. They don’t hold the size you adjust them to. After about one use, your universal grill falls onto the burners just because you tried to scrape a bit of stuck on chicken off the grill.

Then there are the burners – they rust out too.

But yesterday I had to roll my barbecue out to the road for our annual street BBQ … one of the nuts on the lid came off and I lost a bolt.

… I may be looking at the season-ending sales on BBQs in the next couple of weeks. I’m just letting you know in advance, Lil.

Here’s the thing: The Christian life is not meant to be started and then left that way. What I mean is you can’t expect your time with God to remain the same without changing. Your involvement in the church will also need some changes over time. Certainly your relationship with God, and how you follow Him will change as you journey with Him. If these things don’t change, you will start to rust and your Christian life will start to decay. We continually need to allow the Holy Spirit to breathe new life into us, and that will mean making changes along the way.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: Have you noticed any rust in your Christian life? Leave your comments below.

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Live Life By The Codes

There used to be unwritten rules that you lived by. I’m not sure, but maybe some of those codes are changing – certainly some are disappearing.

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We all know some unwritten rules, things you just do or don’t do. No one has to say anything; it’s just the way things work.

When I was a kid one of those codes was that you didn’t tell on your brother. Nobody told me to do that; it was just what you did.

There are all kinds of these unwritten rules that we follow to help one another out, to be on the same side.

But some of these rules or codes that we live by aren’t being followed anymore.

In hockey there used to be an unwritten rule that you didn’t go after the superstar of the team. You didn’t try to hit him too hard; you didn’t cheap shot him.

But that code started to disappear so they had to put a tough guy on the same line as the superstar as a deterrent. It was like a warning: you lay a finger on Wayne Gretzky and you will pay the price of having Dave “Cement Head” Semenko come after you.

Now it’s a free-for-all on the superstars of the team. The game has changed and the enforcers are not there anymore.

And maybe that’s what it’s like everywhere … times have changed and it’s just different.

There used to be a code among drivers that a car coming the opposite way would flash their lights to warn you if there was a police radar up ahead. It was common practice.

It’s illegal now – maybe it always was – and people don’t do it anymore.

There is no code of the road for drivers to look out for each other. It’s no longer us against the speed trap.

But I got a break the other day.

I was going up a hill on a highway, maybe going a little fast … maybe. There was a line of cars coming down the hill the other way. In the middle of the pack I thought I noticed a car flash his lights. I almost missed it because it was so unusual.

I took my foot off the accelerator. As I got to the crest of the hill and started down the other side,  there he was – a black and white OPP waiting for me.

Well, thankfully he wasn’t waiting for me because someone on the other side of the hill remembered the code and warned me.

We were on the same team; it was us against them. I kind of doubt that many others caught the same warning I did. We just don’t live by that code anymore.

The unwritten code of the road is you look out for your fellow drivers. It’s a great code. Unfortunately, most of us drive in such a way that our fellow drivers are our competition or enemies on the road.

… Driving might be a whole lot more enjoyable if we followed the codes.

Here’s the thing: There are faith codes as well. When someone confides in us, the unwritten code is to pray for that person or issue – not just once, but to keep that person in your prayers. However, with our busy, more self-centred lives, we often fail to live by the code. Get back to praying for the needs of others who bring their concerns to you … and keep at it.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What unwritten code would you like to bring back? Leave your comments below.

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Presence of mind

From time to time I will republish a post I’ve written in the past. The post was originally written and published in April 2012.

There’s a song called “Holiday in my Head” by a group named Smash Mouth. The song is all about how we can travel in our mind to fantastic places and have a great time, while never leaving our home.

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One line in the song states, “I’m just looking for paradise in my living room.”

We all remember being in class when we were young and hearing the teacher get upset at a student who was gazing out the window instead of paying attention.  The student was day dreaming.

He was present in class but he wasn’t there in his mind. In his mind, he was either somewhere far away or maybe just playing soccer on the field with another class.

I used to do that.  There were times, while playing with my kids, that I would get very tired.  I would end up sprawled out on the living room floor, fallen sleep while my kids would continue to play around me and on me, using my body and limbs as their toys.

When Lily would come into the room, she would just shake her head to the kids’ response of, “Look Mommy, we’re playing with Daddy.”  The truth is, I was present in body but certainly not with my mind. We can, at times, be present but not really present.

During my devotions the other day I read a verse from 2 Peter 3:8 which reads, “But you must not forget this one thing, dear friends: a day is like a thousand years to the Lord, and a thousand years is like a day.”

I have read this verse before but I’ve never really thought too much about it until now. What struck me was what this verse reveals about God.  I started to think about how the Lord is present all the time, in every situation.

If a day is like a thousand years to the Lord, then every day is under a microscope for him.  Every second, every moment the Lord takes in. He’s present, he’s active, he’s personal in it all, right down to the minute detail of the day.

But, then Peter says a thousand years is like a day to the Lord, and here it suggests to me that He sees how all the days unfold before him, that nothing escapes Him.

Therefore, the Lord is present, active and involved, knowing how each day and moment of my life fits together in His overall plan and picture.

Here’s the thing:  If God is present in every moment of my day, it means he is interested and available to me at any time in my day.  And, if God oversees how all the moments of my day fit into the big picture of my life, it means he is involved and active in the big picture of my life as well. Unlike us who daydream at times, or me, who at times, played with my kids without really playing with them, God is alway present.  He is interested and available, active and involved in our lives, moment by moment.  God is always fully present with us. That’s great to know.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: When were you present in body but not in your mind? Leave your comments below.

 

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Don’t Take All Comments At Face Value

You really need to process comments that are made to you and not just take them at face value.

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Sometimes people can make comments that are well-intentioned, but they kind of sting when you hear them. People’s comments can also seem out in left field, but actually have some substance to them.

I just got back from vacation and my second day back in the office someone came in and, as soon as they saw me, said, “Hey, looks like you gained some weight.”

I immediately thought they had read my blog the day before where I wrote about eating too much candy and not exercising enough on my vacation (you can read that one here).

But when I referred to my blog, he had a blank look on his face. I quickly realized the comment was just something he was observing about me.

That stung! – I really did look like I had gained some weight. I had to process the fact that it wasn’t only me who noticed the few extra pounds; everyone else could see it too.

That off-the-cuff comment got me thinking about making plans to take those extra pounds off over the next few weeks. It gave me a little motivation.

The next day, someone else saw me for the first time since I’ve been back, took a very quick look at me and said, “Hey, are you growing your hair a little longer?”

Now this was a wild comment because I had literally just walked in the door after getting my hair cut.

My first thought was that this person was not very observant, but later I reflected on why he might have thought my hair was longer.

Lately I’ve been combing my hair slightly differently and I figured that’s what he noticed. He noticed something was different; he just didn’t know what it was so he assumed it was longer.

Two days after my vacation, people’s perceptions of me have changed: now I’m fat and I’ve got long hair.

They didn’t say that, but some people might think that if those comments had been said to them.

That’s why you need to process the comments you receive from others. You also need to understand the person making the comment.

I know that the person who made the comment about my weight would himself like to put on a little weight. His comment probably was the result of looking at the contrast between what he’s trying to do and what I had accomplished.

I was the fulfillment of his goal … I only wish that could be true.

Sometimes we get all bent out of shape because of what someone says to us. We hold onto it and stew over it and build it up into a huge judgement on us.

It’s better to take the comment and process it so you don’t find yourself in front of one of those carnival mirrors that make you look short and wide … or fat and with long hair!

Here’s the thing: Our own words to ourselves can hinder us. We need to process what we say and think about ourselves. The best resource for that processing is the Bible, because in there you will find what God really thinks of you: He loves you and has a plan for you … and that’s all that matters.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What recent comment do you need to process rather than just believe at face value? Leave your comments below.

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He Was Just One Step Behind

We are all just one step ahead or one step behind someone else.

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We are either in a position to help someone who’s coming up behind us or to seek the advice of someone who’s already doing what we are about to do.

The other day I watched the Olympics 100 metre final with Usain Bolt and our Canadian kid, Andre De Grasse.

He pronounces his name “De Grass” but it should be pronounced “Degrassi” because of the Canadian TV show that made the name so popular. Even Usain Bolt, in an interview after the run, referred to him as “Degrassi”.

The whole way through the race Usain was just a step ahead of Andre. When it was over, they congratulated each other like big brother, little brother.

There was the sense that this young kid will be stepping into the shoes of the great runner, Usain Bolt.

This isn’t something that only athletes do.

All of us have opportunities to glean from people who are just a step ahead of us or help those who are coming up behind us.

I recently got a phone call from a friend who had a heart attack a couple of months ago. He had heard from my brother that I had had one four years ago. He wanted to ask me some questions as he was a step behind me.

We shared our stories of how the attacks went down, and then compared the medications we were taking. He had questions about how he was feeling and the side effects to some of the drugs.

He wanted to know what the future would hold for him, and I was enough of a step ahead to be able to give him some comfort.

It was interesting, though, as I reflected back. At first, all I remembered were the positive things – I remembered how easy the recovery was.

But as we talked and he shared some of his concerns, I remembered having some of those same thoughts. His experience jogged my memory.

But from my experience, I was able to dispel some of his concerns that could cause anxiety. Looking at me, one step ahead, he could have hope that it was going to be alright for him, too.

You know, it’s great to have that kind of relationship, where both people sense they are not alone, that someone else knows what they are going through. There is a feeling that you are part of a brotherhood, a fraternity that shares a common trait or quest or experience.

There are things that only those who’ve experienced what you’ve experienced can share together.

It gives you a sense that there are others who understand you, identify with how you feel, and know the kinds of thoughts you have, who you can go to to work through some of your questions.

Andre De Grasse and Usain Bolt, both draped in their reflective flags, walked arm in arm, while Usain whispered some words of encouragement to the man who was just one step behind him.

… and you know those words were good by the smiles on both of their faces.

Here’s the thing: We call this relationship mentoring and, no matter what you are experiencing in life, there is probably someone close by you who’s one step ahead or one step behind. Seek them out; it’s how we go forward, in life and with God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: Who has been your greatest mentor? Leave your comments below.

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I Lacked Discipline This Vacation

I’m realizing that I let myself go this year on my vacation. What I mean is I wasn’t very disciplined in exercising or in what I ate.

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There are reasons for what led me to this, but the bottom line was I ate way too much junk food and didn’t get out biking nearly as much as I should have.

I don’t know why I didn’t look back half way through my vacation and change my actions to find some discipline, but I didn’t.

That’s the whole thing, isn’t it? I wasn’t disciplined enough to want to do anything about how I was living.

So why now? I’ve come to the end of my vacation and now I start to reflect on how unruly I’ve been in the areas I needed to keep together.

I think it’s natural that when we come to the end of something we start to reflect. For example, at the end of each year, TV networks and sports stations have their year-in-review, broadcasting their top ten sports moments, and the biggest news events of the year.

So, it’s natural to look back on my vacation and think, “Wow, Paul, you really let yourself go!”

I think I ate more candy in the last few weeks than I have all year leading up to this point. When it comes to exercise, this vacation I’ve biked less and golfed less than I have in quite a few years.

I could blame it on the heat, that relentless, energy draining humidity that zaps the life right out of you, that sun the beats down on you to the point where all you can do is lie on a beach chair, or couch and ask for someone to pass you the bonbons.

I could blame it on the weather, but I’m not going to. This was the hottest, sunniest, best vacation weather we have had in about six years. I’m not about to start complaining.

It didn’t help that there was a candy store by the beach that sold imported exotic candy at ridiculously low prices.

And it didn’t help that I stayed up late at night so that I didn’t get up early each day to bike in the cooler temperatures.

As I look back, I could have done a few things differently.

I could have been stronger; I could have thought more of the consequences. … I could have left my money in the cottage when I went for my evening walks to see the sunset.

Now here I am, on the verge of leaving my vacation, and having some remorse for how I conducted myself during the time I’ve been away.

I feel like one of the Canadian Olympians who had a disappointing finish in his last swim race. He said he had trained well, and prepared the best he could for the games. He was simply disappointed that all his training and preparations didn’t produce better results.

That’s me. I came into the vacation thinking I was in good shape. Somehow the different setting – the sun, sand and surf – called out to me to let loose.

And that I did. I’ll be rolling back into town soon … literally rolling in. Then I will get back to my discipline.

Here’s the thing: It’s easy to get off track in your time with God, especially when you change your setting or routine, like on vacation. When that does happen, don’t beat yourself up. Simply make moves to get back to spending quality time with God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What gets you out-of-sync with your disciplines? Leave your comments below.

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You Can’t Capture It

“You just can’t quite capture it,” I thought to myself as I looked over my wife’s shoulder. She was taking pictures of the sunset.

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It was spectacular that night, but what I viewed on her screen didn’t compare to what I saw just above the horizon of her phone.

Almost every night it’s the same thing. Well, it’s different in that the sunset is brand new every night, but it is just as amazing one night to the next.

All we can do is capture a portion of it, a scaled down version and reminder of what we really saw. We can’t capture the vast scope of it, nor can we capture the depth of what our eyes drink in. There is nothing like it.

The crazy thing is it’s free. Every night it only costs us a twelve minute walk, or a three minute bike ride down to the shore to take it all in.

My wife, Lily, and I were at a market the other day where someone was selling large prints of nature scenes. There were pictures of the beach, flowers and trees in the woods.

They were all stunning and inviting. They were also so cheap I wanted to buy at least one, but we didn’t have a wall that was big enough to hang one on. And how long could I look at the same picture without wanting, needing something different to look at?

Even with the cheap cost and beauty of these images, they paled in comparison to the free sunsets that go for as far as your eye can see, until the sun dips below the horizon on the lake.

And these sunsets are different every night. One displays a pale blue sky overlaid with light orange ribbons of colour. Another is a dark red fireball that sends deep pink and purple brush stokes across the clouds to complete the vista.

You can’t keep them though. You want to take one home, to look at it and then be able to look back at it again.

And maybe again.

But it is gone when the darkness takes over and erases the enormous etch-a-sketch in the sky.

People, all kinds of them, with their cameras and phones, lingered to take captive one last shot of the never returning sunset before them.

There was a little sense of melancholy at the end, but not too much because everyone there knew there would be a new one the next night.

I was ready to go for ice cream, but Lily wanted a few more pictures and even after that she wanted to just stand and watch for a while, as if it was an intriguing drama on the big screen.

No, it’s just a sunset. It’s big and bold; it changes every day, and it’s free for all. You just can’t really capture it.

Here’s the thing: You can’t capture a picture of a sunset that really shows what it’s like, but the sunset captures you. And that is God’s intent with creation. He has made it so it will draw us to His beauty, grandeur and magnificence. We can’t capture or fully understand God, but He can capture our hearts and our minds with what He has made for us. Allow God to capture your heart; the encounter will be new and fresh every day like a sunset.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: Where have you seen the best sunsets? Leave your comments below.