God’s Word

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Unrealistic Expectations Can Really Leave You Deflated

We all have expectations, but unrealistic expectations are never met. 

unrealistic expectations can really leave you deflated

There are all kinds of expectations, ones we keep to ourselves, ones we share with others. 

Some of our expectations are based on logical outcomes from patterns we see. Some expectations are wishful thinking or based on a hunch. 

Unrealistic expectations are just not good.

Sometimes our expectations depend on someone else’s actions. But if we don’t verbalize to that person what we expect, well, it’s still unrealistic.

There was a time – or should I say there have been many times – that my wife Lily expected me to do something but never told me what she expected.

… Like the time I got ready for biking and she got all disappointed because she thought we would spend the afternoon outside working in the yard together. How was I to know that was what she expected? You can’t expect something from someone that they don’t know anything about.

When I was a kid, I pulled out my tooth and put it under my pillow. In the morning my tooth was still there. I expected the tooth to be gone and some coins in its place. But I had not told anyone I had pulled my tooth out, so how could the tooth fairy (Mom and Dad) know how to meet my expectation?

We can also have expectations that are just pie in the sky. They are not based in reality. The data doesn’t confirm what we are hoping for, but we expect an unrealistic outcome anyway.

This was the story of the Toronto Maple Leafs this year. 

Fans were furious and fed up with the team after they failed to advance to the second round of the playoffs. The team certainly didn’t meet their expectations. Now they are calling out all the responsible people who should be let go because of their failure.

I, on the other hand, was pretty happy with how the club did in the playoffs. But my expectations were based on some realistic data.

The Leafs had not beat Boston all year. They finished third in their division behind both Boston and Florida, and ended up seven points behind Boston in the standings.

How could any Leaf fan go into the playoffs expecting them to come out on top in the first round?

I figured they would win one game. They won three and they could have just as easily won a fourth. The Leafs took a team that was better than them to the seventh game and overtime. 

They far exceeded my expectations, but not the unrealistic expectations of so many other fans. 

If people question why they were in that spot in the first place, it’s a money thing in my opinion … too much money invested in four players. It handcuffs them from rounding out the team.

Leaf fans (of whom I am one) were expecting something the team could not produce. Yet we criticize the players and the coach for not meeting our expectations. 

The coach actually got them to play a defensive style of hockey that could win.

For me, I still remember their 1967 Stanley Cup victory and until they change the data, I’m not having unrealistic expectations about the club.

Here’s the thing: We all have expectations for the end of our life. If our expectation is unrealistic, our hope for the end of our life will go unmet and even be far worse than we imagine. God’s word has given us clear expectations for the end of life and, if we follow God’s plan for us, our expectation will be realized. Trust Jesus with your life.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: For what do you consistently have unrealistic expectations? Leave your comments and questions below.

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Do I Replace Or Keep Using That Old Item?

We replace things more often than we try to fix old or worn items. 

Do I replace or keep using that old item?

It may be partly due to how things are made these days. There is less craftsmanship in many items we buy now. 

At one time a washing machine would last 25 years or more. Now they say if your washer is still working after 8 to 10 years, you’re doing good. 

Styles also change and you want the latest. So you replace your worn out kitchen table instead of refinishing it. There’s a lot less time involved in replacing versus fixing. It costs more but it seems the benefits outweigh the price tag in many ways.

Shoes fit into that replace versus fix category.

I remember when I was a kid I had two pairs of shoes – running shoes (sneakers) and a pair of dress shoes. I wore my sneakers every day so they wore out quickly. 

But I’m older and don’t wear out shoes the same way. In fact, my running shoes hardly ever get worn. Shoes I wear more now – casual shoes, golf shoes, hiking shoes and sandals that end up being my every day shoes in the summer.

I have another pair of shoes, sneakers, that are only for a certain activity. I wear them for nothing else. In fact, I’m not 100% sure, but I think I inherited them from my dad. For years they sat unused in the garage. Now I wear them to cut the lawn. That’s it.

How they became my grass cutting shoes is simple. I had an old pair of shoes that got so worn out it was dangerous wearing them close to my lawnmower.

This pair of shoes from my dad have been great. They were in good shape and have lasted for years.

But at the end of last year the sole on one shoe started to separate from the upper – a sure sign to toss them. 

I don’t have an old pair of shoes to replace them with and, other than the separation, they are still in good shape.

My wife Lily had a similar issue with summer shoes she really liked. It was just that the soles were wearing out. She didn’t want to look for a new pair. She liked what she had, but it was difficult to find a shoemaker to fix them. One said no, he wouldn’t or couldn’t do it. 

Finally she found a cobbler who said he would fix her shoes. It almost cost the price of a new pair but she wanted to save these shoes. So she paid the price and can continue wearing them.

Me with my grass cutting shoes? Well, it’s a little more rudimentary. I bought some shoe-goo and will be sticking that sole to the upper. It won’t ever separate again. 

But I better get doing it because I need to cut my grass soon.

Here’s the thing: We are so accustomed to discard the old and move on to the new. That applies to how we think about social issues, moral issues and also about God and the Bible. Let’s agree there is nothing wrong with the old; it doesn’t always have to be replaced by something new. The Bible has been around for centuries, yet it offers truth and help that if we apply to our lives today will guarantee a blessing. Dust off your old Bible and read it. Experience the goodness of God’s message to us. 

That’s life!

Paul

Question: What could you fix that you’re tempted to ditch? Leave your comments and questions below.

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Apparently I’m A Binge Drinker!

The other day I had a conversation with my wife, Lily, and she called me a binge drinker. I know some of you are now eager to hear some deep, dark secret of mine. Well, don’t start salivating like one of Pavlov’s dogs for some juicy morsels just yet. Let me explain …

I was complaining to Lily about how much water I have been drinking lately and how it’s interrupting my life. The thing is, the more water you drink, the more you find yourself visiting the washroom.

I used to use the facilities only a few times a day like when I got up in the morning, at noon, around dinner time and at bed time.

Not now! I’m hitting the john about every hour or so and it’s all because I’ve been drinking more water. Since we are supposed to drink more than most of us actually do, I got an app that helps me track how much water I drink. So naturally, I’m drinking more now.

In fact, I’ll have four glasses of water from the time I get up in the morning until the end of breakfast. When Lily heard this she shook her head and said, “You’re a binge drinker” … and I guess I am in a way.

So I started thinking, “When did it become so difficult to live that I’m not even drinking my water at the proper intervals?”

It used to be that we got up in the morning and didn’t think about when we drank water; we just did it because we were thirsty. Now it seems I need to read up a little more on the subject because my water bingeing is probably not that healthy for me.

I can still walk a straight line. I can even touch my finger to my nose and I never poke myself in the eye.

People don’t tell me that I’m slurring my words after I’ve had a couple of quick glasses of water either.

But I guess I still need some help because I found out I’m drinking too much water at meal times. My daughter tells me I shouldn’t be drinking water any closer than 45 minutes before a meal.

My question is, “How did people who lived 100 years ago survive?!” I’m sure they didn’t know this stuff back then. I understand that people didn’t live as long as they do now; maybe that’s why?

I think I may need a few lessons on breathing too. Apparently I breathe out of my mouth more than I should.

I wish I had a computer chip in my brain that could be reprogrammed so that I breathe and drink properly. When I look around it amazes me how many people seem to be living fine and they don’t follow any kind of breathing rules, or drinking rules for that matter.

All I know is that my mother taught me how to drink when I was a baby and I’ve been doing it ever since. And as for breathing, well I think a doctor smacked me on the butt when I entered this world and I haven’t stopped taking a breath yet.

Here’s the thing: We can be Christians with very little understanding of what that means. But if you want your life to be effective, then getting some special training is necessary. Don’t neglect the training you can get through the study of God’s Word.

That’s Life,

Paul

Question: Where could you use some focused spiritual training? Leave your comment below.

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What Golf Can Teach Us About Handling Pressure

This week my son treated me to a game of golf – not the usual game; we actually attended a PGA Tour Canada event.

PGA-Tour-Canada

I walked the course and never swung a club. We were watching young professional golfers who hope to one day make the big tour.

Instead of playing for million dollar prize money, these guys were hoping to take home $31,000 if they won … still not a bad paycheque for a week’s work!

A week of work playing golf on a beautiful, well-manicured course – I think I could get used to that.

We ended up following one of the Canadians in the tournament for the back nine. When we picked him up, he was about 17 under par.

I kind of thought the reason these guys were playing on this tour, and not the US tour, was because they couldn’t shoot low enough scores. But these kids could rip up courses just like the guys who are making ten times what they make in a year.

I discovered the difference between the two tours as we got closer to the 18th hole.

The guy we were following was hot; we saw him make birdies on three of his next four holes.  We kind of thought we might be watching the eventual winner.

He seemed like he was cruising, his shots were right on, he was hitting the ball long. He looked calm and confident as he made his way around the track.

But then we got to the 14th hole. He missed a 4-footer that would have got him to 21 under.

Not a big deal. However, on the next hole his tee shot took an unlucky bounce that left him with a tough second shot.

Immediately you could tell his confidence was not what it was. He still made par, but he was scrambling for it now.

For the next two holes you could see that the pressure was getting to him. He was gripping the club a little tighter and not making the shots as precisely as before.

It all came down to the last hole. We figured our guy was tied for the lead or one shot back. He needed to score a 3 on the par 5 to have a chance to win.

When the pressure is on, it’s difficult to step back and calm yourself down, to block all the voices in your head and hit the shot you want. … He didn’t hit a great shot.

He put his second shot in a sand trap behind the green. Then he imploded. He took three putts to get the ball in the hole – a bogey 6.

In the end, he went from potential winner to outright second place finisher, to ending up settling for a six-way tie for second.

Maybe one of the reasons these guys aren’t on the big tour is the mental game. They can hit the ball and putt, but when the pressure is on, they sometimes fold.

Here’s the thing: Living the Christian life can be similar to these golfers. We can be cruising along in our lives, but when the pressure comes, that’s when we need to be real pros and be able to live strong in the faith.

Prepare yourself in advance to deal with the pressure. Know God’s Word, meet with Him regularly, plan how you will respond to certain scenarios so you can whether the storm of pressure and come out victorious.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What potential circumstance could you make a plan for in advance? Leave your comment below.

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We Need A New Best Before Date

When you buy a bag of potato chips – not that I would buy one – but if you did buy a bag, you would find a “best before date” stamped on it.

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That’s a good thing because many things have a shelf life, and after that much of their goodness is gone.

In the case of fruits and vegetables, they have a “best before date” built right into them. When a banana’s skin gets brown, we say it’s overripe. It’s a nice way of saying it’s rotting (it doesn’t hurt the fruit’s feelings).

We toss things out if they’ve gone past their “best before date”, whether it’s stamped on their package or written all over their face … I mean, skin.

I wish we could have a “best before date” for snow. If snow had a “best before date” I think that February 28th would be a really good date to stamp on it.

But better than a stamp, it would be great if snow just started to rot around that date. In Canada we call that melting – and that would be perfect right about now!

What’s bugging me today is that it’s near the end of March, the temperature outside is -14 C and the snow on my front yard is still very … let’s say “ripe”. It’s showing no signs of going bad.

To be fair, it’s getting thin in some spots, but there is still lots of it in most places. … It’s like a guy who is going bald. At first you can see through a patch of hair and tell that he’s thinning, but you don’t think bald because he still has so much hair.

That’s all I can say about the snow on my front lawn: it’s thinning. But what if it had a “best before date” of February 28? By now it would be all gone; it would be bald.

At one time going bald was not considered something to cheer about. But today being bald is a fashion statement for men. Some guys shave their heads just so they can have that look.

So, I think that when it comes to snow, we really need to consider that trend. If the end of February really is a good “best before date” for snow, one of two things needs to happen:

Either the sun cooperates and melts that snow away, or the city has to take measures to shave it bald, and in the case of snow that would mean haul it away.

Maybe the city could hire their summer staff a little early on years when the snow was only thinning in March and have crews come along with shovels and dumpsters for the snow.

Better yet, have them come with industrial-sized hair dryers and dry out the snow. I understand that for guys going bald using a hair dryer speeds up the process … at least that’s what a friend told me years ago before he went bald.

Here’s the thing: When life bring hardships, hassles and hurts, we just want them to go away; we want to get past them. The best way to see that happen is to apply some heat and effort.  Turn your attention to the heat of prayer and the effort of searching God’s word. As you pray and study during difficult times, you will find that God brings you into a new season.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you need to spend more time praying and studying for right now? Leave your comment below.