my day

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Taking A Day Off Doesn’t Mean Doing Nothing

Today I’m taking the day off. What I mean by that is I’m not going to do anything I don’t really want to do today.

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This last week has been very hectic. I’ve had some extra demands on my time, energy and my emotions. I’m feeling rather drained today.

It’s that feeling when you take the dish cloth and wring it out. You do it once and you get most of the water out. But then you do it again and, surprise, there’s still some water in it. So you squeeze that cloth real hard a third time until your hands start to hurt. Still a little bit of water comes out … but it’s only a few drops.

That’s where I’m at today. I’ve been wrung out a few times this past week and each time there was still a little in me. But this morning, I’m feeling like I only have a drop or two left.

So it’s time that I let myself soak under the tap to get filled up again.

Filling a cloth back up is easy; you just need to put it in water. But we are a little more complex.

When we are wrung out, the things that put life back into us are things we want to do and look forward to doing.

I thought about today as I lay in bed just before getting up this morning. There were a few things that came to mind that I am looking forward to doing.

I’m looking forward to doing something that will exercise my body, something that will take some brain power and something that will lift my emotions in the right direction.

To get filled up requires something specific to replenish what’s depleted in you. You can’t just “veg” and get filled up. Spending a day in front of the TV doesn’t do anything for you. You actually have to activate those parts of you that are depleted.

And it matters what you activate them with. If it’s something you have to do or something you’re not looking forward to doing, it won’t benefit you. If you consider it to be work rather than pleasure, even if it is something that is outside your everyday work, it will give you that wringing out feeling rather than that filling up feeling.

You could, amazingly enough, do something that is work-related if it fills you up.

The temptation is to do nothing, to open up the cloth, hang it over the faucet and let it dry completely. You know, however, that when you do that, the cloth gets hard and stiff … and it will eventually take even longer and more water to soak it and get it soft enough to be useable.

It’s best to keep the cloth soaked, and you can only do that by placing it under the tap.

Stay filled by doing things that will replenish those parts of you that just had the life squeezed out of them.

Here’s the thing: Along with filling up your physical, mental and emotional parts, be sure to fill up your spiritual part as well. We are not meant to be idle; we are best when we are active. Be sure you activate your spirit when you fill up. That part will keep you connecting to the One who gives you insight into the rest of your complex self.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you like to do to replenish your energy, mind and emotions? Leave your comments below.

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I Need A Car Real Soon

Well, I’m in the market for a car but I do have some standards – mind you, they aren’t that high.

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I don’t have a certain make of car that I have to drive, though I remember growing up we always had GMs.

My dad went through the models. In the early sixties we had Pontiac Parisiennes; in the late sixties and early seventies it was Oldsmobile Delta 88s. Then in the mid to late seventies and on it was Buick LeSabres.

In fact, my Dad never drove anything but Buick LeSabres from then on.

For me, I’ve been all over the map: Buick, Renault, Chrysler, Ford, Lincoln, GMC, Honda, Hyundai.

I’ve never owned two of the same make of car in a row. You could say with this that I’m a blank slate. I’m open to any kind of car.

However, there is one thing that I would like and that is a little peace and quiet. In our last car we didn’t get much of that.

When driving on the highway, Lily and I would practically have to shout at each other to be heard over the sound of the wind outside the car.

It was almost like driving with our windows down all the time.

So quiet is a big deal, and then there is room. We would also like something that is a little bigger than our previous car.

It doesn’t have to be too much bigger, but a little would be nice.

The car doesn’t even have to be new. In fact, I have an aversion to making payments so on that account a new car is not that attractive.

I just don’t like to be paying for a car for years and, when I’m finished paying for it, find it’s time to get a new one and have to start the payment thing all over again.

To make it worse, I also have an aversion to paying interest. If I had to I could stomach a 0% interest payment for three years or so, but that’s about it.

… I think I have about a week to get that kind of deal before they disappear for a while.

A used car is probably what we will end up with – something that I don’t have to put too much money into but something that’s going to last us four to six years or so.

There are lots of cars out there and today we will start taking a look.

This is where our kids come in handy. One of our son Mike’s buddies is a car salesman. We’ll see what he can do for us.

Over the years we’ve fed him numerous meals and Lily has given him lots of advice. She even calls him our #2 son. It’s almost like he owes us a good deal.

The biggest thing is we can trust him. We can be sure he will do the best he can to get us into the right car that meets all our standards.

Here’s the thing: Often in life we find ourselves at a crossroads. We need to make decisions that require more insight than we have. We need people who can step in and help us in those times. When it’s a spiritual matter, a spiritual mentor or life group is invaluable. Be sure to surround yourself with people who can help you make the right spiritual moves.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How long does it take you to reach out for help on spiritual matters? Leave your comments below.

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Is The Whole Greater Than All Its Parts?

You’ve heard the phrase “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts”. The quote goes back a long time; it’s from Aristotle. But let me spin it another way.

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More recently, we associate this phrase with synergy – the idea that when people work together what they produce is greater than what they could collectively do on their own.

In music when a group of jazz musicians jam together they feed off each other and create a sound that is greater than what they could produce on their own instruments.

This is why team work is so important when working on projects, in sports or pretty much anything.

However, this principle is opposite when it comes to fixing something.

The whole costs less than the sum of its parts … and that’s the phrase that’s more on my mind these days.

A week ago I wrote a post about the car accident I had with a deer (you can read it here). I kind of thought that my car won that fight. I mean, I think the deer probably lived but it was banged up more than my car … but perhaps I was a little hasty with that thought.

In the wisdom of the collision appraiser, he thinks the car has more damage than it’s worth. In other words, it will cost as much to fix the car as it would to buy one of the same vintage.

Basically what they are saying is that the sum of the parts needed to fix my car costs more than the whole car is worth … and really we are only talking about four parts on the car! It still runs as well as it did before.

So if I bought all the individual parts the car needs it would cost me more than it would to just buy the finished product.

There’s that synergy working. Normally it would be a good thing, but here’s how it’s a bad deal for me …

I have a diminishing deductible on my insurance. So if they fix my car, for whatever price, I don’t pay anything and I get my car back intact like it was before the accident – like the deer incident never happened.

Instead, however, because all those parts cost more than the whole car is worth, the insurance company will probably give me some money for the car and I will have to add to that total in order to get a replacement for my vehicle.

In the end it will cost me money out of my pocket to get a car on the road again.

And because I don’t want to go back to a 2009 vehicle in 2016, I will have to purchase something that is newer and more expensive.

This “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts” works out great for the insurance company.

Somehow I have to figure out how to get some synergy working for me.

Here’s the thing: God never intended us to live the Christian life on our own. We were created to live as Christ followers in community. So when you think of your life in Christ, consider all the parts: personal time with God, worship, learning, growing, and serving. It’s when we do these together that we experience the whole being greater than the sum of its parts.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What parts to your Christian life are you lacking right now? Leave your comments below.

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Anyone Need Their Grass Cut?

From time to time I will republish a post I’ve written in the past. The post was originally written and published in October 2012.

Sometimes you start a simple task or job and it grows into something bigger. I have certainly experienced this at times in my life.

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One time we had a water leak in our vacation trailer.  I decided to see if I could fix it myself.  I checked and found the problem needed to be fixed from the outside, which meant peeling off the metal shell at the front of the trailer.

I started at the bottom and noticed the problem extended a little higher so I took off the next strip, then the next, and the next.

When I had the whole front of the trailer removed, with just the wood frame left in place, I stepped back and thought, “What have I done?!”  It was way more work than I had thought.

Another time we had a leak in our basement.  I thought I would dig a hole outside and patch the foundation where the leak was.  In the end, the hole I dug was over 5 feet deep and about 12 feet long.  Again, that job got way bigger than I had first thought!

Reading about those two experiences, you might think they weren’t that bad, and that I must be a handy guy.  That’s where you would be VERY wrong!  I’m not that handy, and for all the handy work I have done, I don’t really like it.

It takes me too long; I don’t have the right tools; I make mistakes; I get frustrated; I get discouraged; I cut myself (another story).

Recently, we were at our cottage on a rainy weekend, when we happened to get a break from the rain for a few hours.  I decided I’d better take the opportunity to cut the grass since we wouldn’t be back for a few weeks.

It’s such a small piece of lawn that the job really doesn’t take much time.  But, as I was running the lawnmower over our grass, I thought about my brother’s lawn.  He had left his cottage a few hours earlier in the rain and I had noticed that his lawn needed a cut.

Since he’s up at his cottage almost every weekend and often cuts our grass (because we don’t get there all that frequently), I thought it was my chance to return the favour.  So, when I finished our lawn, I walked over to his place and started to cut his grass.

As I got close to finishing, I started to think about my brother’s neighbour who’s wife had just had surgery and was in intensive care at the hospital.

I thought, “That guy doesn’t need to be bothered with his lawn”.  So, as I finished with my brother’s lawn, I just kept going and worked on his neighbour’s.

As I walked back to my place pushing my lawnmower, I realized this was one of the few times a job that got bigger didn’t become frustrating or discouraging.  In fact, I walked with a sense of satisfaction that I had, in some small way, been a help to others.

Here’s the thing:  One of the greatest ways we can show the love of God to others is not by telling them but by showing them.  The problem is it takes time and, for many of us, time is precious.  We don’t have a lot of extra time to allow the task or job we are working on to become any bigger.  But sometimes that is exactly how we are to “love one another as I have loved you” John 13:34.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What kind of “loving one another” acts have you done recently?

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Accidents Happen In The Blink Of An Eye

It happened in the blink of an eye; the deer came out of nowhere. Last night we hit a deer traveling to our cottage to close it up for the winter.

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I had no time to react, just absorb the hit and keep the car on the road.

It was the perfect scenario for such an accident. It was dark, and there was a misty rain in the air, so visibility was hindered.

My headlights picked up the deer about one to two seconds before we hit him. All I could do was hold on to the steering wheel and keep the car steady.

We hit him in his hind quarter and he glanced off the passenger side of the front bumper.

I figure he came toward the headlights from the shoulder on the same side of the road as us. At the last moment he tried to veer off, and that’s when we clipped him.

The car continued to drive fine, but everything was not okay.

The plastic bumper was cracked and smashed. He took out our light assembly on the passenger side, and the front quarter panel was pushed back slightly so that the passenger door wouldn’t open very much.

The hood sustained a small crease and though it stayed shut, I’m unsure whether it would shut again if I tried to lift it.

The deer kept going.

On the inside of the car, we were fine. No airbags went off; neither Lily or I sustained any injury. But the dashboard lights went out, and I found out later the passenger tail light was also out.

I’ve never had a head-on collision before … unless you count the time I ran into a fence.

I was about 10 years old and my grandfather had been keeping an old 1930’s car in our driveway.

Some of the boys on the street thought it might be a great idea if we pushed the car into our backyard to see how far it would roll.

We had a little hill at the top of our yard, so all we really needed to do was get the car rolling and then let gravity do its job.

I was the logical driver since the car was on my property and it was my grandfather’s car.

It was my first time behind the wheel. I couldn’t even reach the pedals but that was okay because the drive was all about momentum.

Actually, for my first driving lesson I did pretty well. I kept the car going straight, didn’t swerve or even hit anyone. It all went great until I hit the fence at the end of the yard. No damage; the car went into the chain link fence and bounced back a bit.

The only damage came later when I had to face my dad concerning my first driving incident!

Yesterday caused a little more damage to the car than that first head-on 50 years ago.

I’m kind of hoping this is my last collision. I do plan, however, to tell my friends who are hunters that I got my first deer.

Here’s the thing: Things in life can happen very quickly, with little or no warning. You can’t always be ready and prepared for what is coming next. That’s why it’s best to have your future settled, for whatever might happen. Be sure that you have a relationship with Christ Jesus, and that you are trusting Him now and for the future.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What plans have you made for the future? Leave you comments below.

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You Need An Outlet In Your Life (part 3)

How do you know what kind of an outlet you need for a particular time? Should it be something with other people, or is an outlet by yourself good enough?

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These are important questions to answer to be able to have an outlet in your life that does what it’s supposed to do … and that is to provide a release for the stress, pressure, burden, or load of work, and all the emotions that come with these things.

In my last two posts I’ve written about what an outlet is (read here) and how to determine an outlet that works for you (read here).

In this post I want to help you discern the best kind of outlet for you at a particular time.

There are many factors that come into play in determining whether the right outlet should be with other people or on your own.

Personality has a say in this, so you need to know where you get your energy from. Are you recharged from being with others or from being alone? There are personality tests you can take to determine that.

On a basic level, if the weight you find yourself under is generated from within you – that is, you are putting the pressure on yourself – it would probably be best to have an outlet available to you that is more social.

When you feel alone in what you are going through, employing an outlet that is solo in nature is not going to give you that break from yourself that you need.

I’ve been there recently. Most of my burden comes from within, is self-packed and carried. In the midst of it, I had a window in my schedule where I could go biking.

The thought of getting my gear together, mounting my bike on my car and driving to the trails on my own was too much and I couldn’t get myself to do it.

I know I would have been glad once I got there, but being alone in this feeling that I had made it too difficult to get going on that particular day.

It might have been a better choice that day to get a few people together and go for dinner where we could watch the game on a big screen.

On the other hand, there are times that the burden you feel is because of people. In those cases choosing an outlet that isn’t social at all might be the best thing.

Going to a movie might be a bit of a bridge outlet because you can go with someone else but you don’t usually interact throughout the movie … unless you’re a teen and you’re watching a suspense movie with your girlfriend. It might become interactive as she digs her fingernails into your arm when the suspense builds!

Bottom line, it’s complicated and you need options … not just one outlet but several, some that are social and some that aren’t.

Build your list and schedule them if you can. You’ll feel better for it and be able to stand up under your burden.

Here’s the thing: God has made us social beings. It’s important that you don’t just have a consistent devotional life; you need the social interaction with scripture too. We should keep spending time alone with God, but also attend a life group to interact with God’s Word in a more social setting. By the way, there are two outlets for you: personal quiet time with God and life group meetings with others.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What kind of outlets do you gravitate to: solo or social? Leave your comment below.

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You Shouldn’t Have To Wonder Where The People Are

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The other day I wondered, “Where are all the people? Where have they gone?”

This question arose as I stood up to preach on Sunday morning. I gazed over the congregation; it was mostly empty seats that were staring back at me.

There have been times when our service was very poorly attended but that usually came the day after an ice storm.

But this was a sunny, warm, fall morning – one of those mornings where the sun peeks through the curtains and beckons you to get up and get moving.

And it was a great day. It was Thanksgiving Sunday (in Canada) … but there were not many in church.

That afternoon my son and I took in the Kingston Frontenacs OHL hockey game.

But there weren’t many at the game. Normally there would be 4000 plus in attendance, but that day there was just over 2000.

The arena looked empty; we could have sat anywhere we liked.

I wondered why there were so few people at the game when it was a holiday the next day. Much like church that morning, there were more empty seats than filled ones.

“Where is everyone?”, I thought.

Sure it was Thanksgiving weekend and people get together with family and friends for a big turkey dinner. I figured many people would have that big meal on Monday at some odd time like 2 in the afternoon.

… I’m not sure why we have special meals outside of regular meal times, but we do.

Maybe most people were having their big meal mid-afternoon.

That might be why no one came to the hockey game, but what about church? No one was going to have turkey, stuffing and pumpkin pie for brunch mid-morning.

It seemed like it was going to be one of those unsolved mysteries.

We were having our family and friends for turkey dinner as well. Sunday late afternoon the house was smelling like there was going to be a royal feast.

Everyone gathered and we sat down to a phenomenal Thanksgiving dinner. There was turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, carrots cooked in a special sauce, fresh rolls, a marshmallow salad (which I consider a teaser for the dessert to follow) … and we had gravy – lots of gravy!

We finished off with pumpkin pie and whipping cream – lots of whipping cream!

The meal didn’t start until around 6:45 pm, but it was worth waiting for. We talked and laughed and ate until we were really full.

Then something broke the festivities.

I got a notice on my phone; there was a score. I stood up and announced we better get to the TV; it was already 1-0 for Texas over the Blue Jays.

We quickly made our way to the TV and, as we settling in, Toronto hit two home runs and went ahead 3-1. They later went on to win the game and sweep Texas from the playoffs.

I learned something watching the game. I learned where everyone was. They were in Toronto watching that baseball game. The stadium was jammed with 50,000 plus people and there were millions watching all over the country.

Mystery solved.

Here’s the thing: One day when Christ returns, there will be those who wonder where all the people went. It will seem like a mystery; they will just be gone. But in heaven there will be a celebration going on that will outdo any division sweeping championship game at the Rogers Centre. Be sure you’re at that one and not just watching on TV.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you imagine a celebration like that? Leave your comments below.

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You Need An Outlet In Your Life (part 2)

In my last post (you can read it here) I talked about how we need outlets in our lives for when we find ourselves in times of sustained pressure or burdens of some kind.

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But having one outlet isn’t enough; it will never fit all times and situations. You need several outlets.

In a home, we have many outlets in each room because we need the options. We need several outlets because usually at least one is obstructed, behind a couch or a dresser, not accessible.

With regard to outlets in your life, you need several for the variety of situations that come up.

I have a few outlets that I use at different times. One of my main outlets is sports.

But I can’t use the same one all the time. I can’t mountain bike in the winter or when it’s raining out; I can’t play hockey very much in the summer.

So I need other outlets that I can turn to when one outlet won’t work.

What you need to do is sit down and figure out what an outlet would be for you. It needs to be something you really enjoy, something that is readily available.

For me I can play hockey at noon most days of the week throughout the winter. That gives me options that I can co-ordinate with my schedule.

Find something that you enjoy that has some options or flexibility to it. Alternatively, find something you enjoy and put it into your regular schedule.

Many of us think that enjoyment is something that comes after the work gets done, something that’s an option.

But in many of our lives, the work is never done so outlets are not an option if we want to stay healthy mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Make a list of things you enjoy that you can do on your own, and things you enjoy that you can do with others.

If you’re someone who’s mainly focused on work, this will not be an easy step. Take some time; maybe you will have to discover or develop some things you enjoy doing.

Then you need to schedule them. Commit to using an outlet a few times a week, and slot it in to your schedule from week to week where it works best.

Or you join a class or team and just commit to that regular schedule.

Be cautious of only having outlets that only involve you. When the pressure is particularly great, it will be easy to bail out of it, since you’re not letting anyone else down if you do.

Sometimes the motivation isn’t there when it’s just something you are going to do by yourself. I’ve found it difficult in the last couple of weeks to hit the trails on my mountain bike. It seems to take a lot of extra effort to get going when it’s just me. I’ve backed out a few times lately.

Having that list and scheduling your outlets will really help keep you from being crushed under the pressure or burden of life and work.

Here’s the thing: Ask God for His help in finding an outlet and for the motivation to use an outlet when the pressure or burden seems too much. God is faithful and will help us at those times if we seek Him.

That’s Life!

Paul

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You Need An Outlet In Your Life (part 1)

From time to time in life we need an outlet. I’m not talking about the electrical kind you find on the wall of your home about two feet above the baseboard.

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But let me use that analogy to talk about the type of outlet I am referring to …

What I mean is an outlet for the pressure, busyness, burden of life or work.

The church building I work at was built in three stages: in the 60’s, the 70’s, and the 90’s.

The contrast between the electrical service that was installed in the 60’s to what was installed in the 90’s is very evident.

In the old part of the building there are very few electrical wall outlets in the rooms and halls. … It’s a pain to find an outlet in a place you actually need to plug something into.

The thinking back then was you didn’t really need many electrical outlets. There just weren’t that many things you needed to plug into them.

In the new part of the building outlets must be placed about every four feet, and even then there are times that outlets are hidden behind something, making it hard to access them when you need to.

I think in our day and age, just like we have more outlets in our homes than older homes did, it is more of a necessity that we have outlets in our lives.

We need outlets that are readily available.

An outlet is something we can turn to to take the pressure off, or to eliminate the burden. It can be a distraction or a way of escape from the constant demands on us.

In hockey they call it the outlet pass when a defensemen has the puck behind his team’s net and has opposing players bearing down on him.

The outlet pass to an open winger alleviates the pressure and allows the team to escape out of their end zone and move the puck up the ice.

In the days we live in, where we are available virtually 24/7 because of cell phones, texts, and email, we need outlets.

It’s imperative that we are able to get out from under whatever seems to be constantly over us –  even if what’s over us is a collection of many things that mount up in our lives.

If we don’t have outlets we will eventually be crushed under the pressure, which can cause us to make significant mistakes, creating even more harm than the burden we are carrying.

There really is no one who is immune to this. There have been high profile, high capacity people as well as your average joes who have gone down because they didn’t have an outlet.

No one should think they are stronger than the pressure or burden. We all should know the signs that we are at a tipping point and should have an outlet to turn to when that time come.

In my next post (read here) I will talk about finding an outlet and how to use it.

Here’s the thing: There are many people who don’t have an outlet. They don’t even know what an outlet might look like for them. Ask God for an outlet that would be right for you. Seek His wisdom; He knows you best.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How is the burden or pressure in your life? Do you need an outlet? Leave your comments below.

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It’s A New Era In Our Family

Well, we are starting a new era in our family: it’s a “no kids in the city” era.

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My wife, Lily, and I have been empty-nesters for a few years now but we’ve always had our son in the city … and for the last nine months he’s lived only about five minutes away.

But a work promotion and transfer have taken Mike to Burlington, southwest of Toronto. Now both our kids are down that way.

I’m not complaining because it’s nice that they are close enough for us to get to and not too far for them to sometimes come home.

In fact, after one week on the job, Mike decided to spend the weekend in Kingston since he’s living in a hotel for a couple of weeks. Karlie decided she’d come home too, so we had both kids home … though I think Mike’s idea of coming home was more about seeing his buddies than his family.

We got a golf game in one morning and it dawned on me that this won’t be happening too much any more. And since the hockey season will be starting soon, I won’t be playing hockey with him Saturday mornings either.

No more popping over for lunch in between work calls, or enticing him over for a meal that he particularly likes.

This is just what naturally happens as a family matures.

It sure is different from when I left home. I went to school out west and then got a job further west. I lived away from my family for 15 years before I returned back to the province.

Communication back then was not like it is now. There were no cell phones, no internet. Letters and expensive long distance charges were the order of that day.

Although we are a few hours away from both our children, at least we can keep up by phone (unlimited long distance), text messages, and even video chats.

It’s a different day.

But our home is now down one person who might burst through the door just to say hi or come for a meal. That is gone.

But what’s not gone is all his stuff. We saw the movers come and take his furniture and belongings in their big truck, yet in the basement there’s still a room that seems quite full of his stuff.

… Thinking about it, Karlie has continued to store stuff with us and it’s been more than a few years since she moved out.

That’s different from my experience as well. When I moved to Edmonton, I remember my dad saying, “Take it all, Paul; don’t leave anything!”

I guess it will give us an excuse to visit, and take a box of stuff every time we do.

It’s a new era for us, but it won’t be the last. When I look back, I’ve enjoyed my kids at every stage of their development. This is just one more stage.

Here’s the thing: Take comfort in the fact that God never tires of you. He enjoys each stage of your spiritual development along your life’s journey. His desire is that you will grow, but He is pleased with you right where you are now.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What stage have you had to get used to in your family’s development? Leave your comments below.