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Don’t Take All Comments At Face Value

You really need to process comments that are made to you and not just take them at face value.

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Sometimes people can make comments that are well-intentioned, but they kind of sting when you hear them. People’s comments can also seem out in left field, but actually have some substance to them.

I just got back from vacation and my second day back in the office someone came in and, as soon as they saw me, said, “Hey, looks like you gained some weight.”

I immediately thought they had read my blog the day before where I wrote about eating too much candy and not exercising enough on my vacation (you can read that one here).

But when I referred to my blog, he had a blank look on his face. I quickly realized the comment was just something he was observing about me.

That stung! – I really did look like I had gained some weight. I had to process the fact that it wasn’t only me who noticed the few extra pounds; everyone else could see it too.

That off-the-cuff comment got me thinking about making plans to take those extra pounds off over the next few weeks. It gave me a little motivation.

The next day, someone else saw me for the first time since I’ve been back, took a very quick look at me and said, “Hey, are you growing your hair a little longer?”

Now this was a wild comment because I had literally just walked in the door after getting my hair cut.

My first thought was that this person was not very observant, but later I reflected on why he might have thought my hair was longer.

Lately I’ve been combing my hair slightly differently and I figured that’s what he noticed. He noticed something was different; he just didn’t know what it was so he assumed it was longer.

Two days after my vacation, people’s perceptions of me have changed: now I’m fat and I’ve got long hair.

They didn’t say that, but some people might think that if those comments had been said to them.

That’s why you need to process the comments you receive from others. You also need to understand the person making the comment.

I know that the person who made the comment about my weight would himself like to put on a little weight. His comment probably was the result of looking at the contrast between what he’s trying to do and what I had accomplished.

I was the fulfillment of his goal … I only wish that could be true.

Sometimes we get all bent out of shape because of what someone says to us. We hold onto it and stew over it and build it up into a huge judgement on us.

It’s better to take the comment and process it so you don’t find yourself in front of one of those carnival mirrors that make you look short and wide … or fat and with long hair!

Here’s the thing: Our own words to ourselves can hinder us. We need to process what we say and think about ourselves. The best resource for that processing is the Bible, because in there you will find what God really thinks of you: He loves you and has a plan for you … and that’s all that matters.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What recent comment do you need to process rather than just believe at face value? Leave your comments below.

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He Was Just One Step Behind

We are all just one step ahead or one step behind someone else.

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We are either in a position to help someone who’s coming up behind us or to seek the advice of someone who’s already doing what we are about to do.

The other day I watched the Olympics 100 metre final with Usain Bolt and our Canadian kid, Andre De Grasse.

He pronounces his name “De Grass” but it should be pronounced “Degrassi” because of the Canadian TV show that made the name so popular. Even Usain Bolt, in an interview after the run, referred to him as “Degrassi”.

The whole way through the race Usain was just a step ahead of Andre. When it was over, they congratulated each other like big brother, little brother.

There was the sense that this young kid will be stepping into the shoes of the great runner, Usain Bolt.

This isn’t something that only athletes do.

All of us have opportunities to glean from people who are just a step ahead of us or help those who are coming up behind us.

I recently got a phone call from a friend who had a heart attack a couple of months ago. He had heard from my brother that I had had one four years ago. He wanted to ask me some questions as he was a step behind me.

We shared our stories of how the attacks went down, and then compared the medications we were taking. He had questions about how he was feeling and the side effects to some of the drugs.

He wanted to know what the future would hold for him, and I was enough of a step ahead to be able to give him some comfort.

It was interesting, though, as I reflected back. At first, all I remembered were the positive things – I remembered how easy the recovery was.

But as we talked and he shared some of his concerns, I remembered having some of those same thoughts. His experience jogged my memory.

But from my experience, I was able to dispel some of his concerns that could cause anxiety. Looking at me, one step ahead, he could have hope that it was going to be alright for him, too.

You know, it’s great to have that kind of relationship, where both people sense they are not alone, that someone else knows what they are going through. There is a feeling that you are part of a brotherhood, a fraternity that shares a common trait or quest or experience.

There are things that only those who’ve experienced what you’ve experienced can share together.

It gives you a sense that there are others who understand you, identify with how you feel, and know the kinds of thoughts you have, who you can go to to work through some of your questions.

Andre De Grasse and Usain Bolt, both draped in their reflective flags, walked arm in arm, while Usain whispered some words of encouragement to the man who was just one step behind him.

… and you know those words were good by the smiles on both of their faces.

Here’s the thing: We call this relationship mentoring and, no matter what you are experiencing in life, there is probably someone close by you who’s one step ahead or one step behind. Seek them out; it’s how we go forward, in life and with God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: Who has been your greatest mentor? Leave your comments below.

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I Lacked Discipline This Vacation

I’m realizing that I let myself go this year on my vacation. What I mean is I wasn’t very disciplined in exercising or in what I ate.

Candy Store

There are reasons for what led me to this, but the bottom line was I ate way too much junk food and didn’t get out biking nearly as much as I should have.

I don’t know why I didn’t look back half way through my vacation and change my actions to find some discipline, but I didn’t.

That’s the whole thing, isn’t it? I wasn’t disciplined enough to want to do anything about how I was living.

So why now? I’ve come to the end of my vacation and now I start to reflect on how unruly I’ve been in the areas I needed to keep together.

I think it’s natural that when we come to the end of something we start to reflect. For example, at the end of each year, TV networks and sports stations have their year-in-review, broadcasting their top ten sports moments, and the biggest news events of the year.

So, it’s natural to look back on my vacation and think, “Wow, Paul, you really let yourself go!”

I think I ate more candy in the last few weeks than I have all year leading up to this point. When it comes to exercise, this vacation I’ve biked less and golfed less than I have in quite a few years.

I could blame it on the heat, that relentless, energy draining humidity that zaps the life right out of you, that sun the beats down on you to the point where all you can do is lie on a beach chair, or couch and ask for someone to pass you the bonbons.

I could blame it on the weather, but I’m not going to. This was the hottest, sunniest, best vacation weather we have had in about six years. I’m not about to start complaining.

It didn’t help that there was a candy store by the beach that sold imported exotic candy at ridiculously low prices.

And it didn’t help that I stayed up late at night so that I didn’t get up early each day to bike in the cooler temperatures.

As I look back, I could have done a few things differently.

I could have been stronger; I could have thought more of the consequences. … I could have left my money in the cottage when I went for my evening walks to see the sunset.

Now here I am, on the verge of leaving my vacation, and having some remorse for how I conducted myself during the time I’ve been away.

I feel like one of the Canadian Olympians who had a disappointing finish in his last swim race. He said he had trained well, and prepared the best he could for the games. He was simply disappointed that all his training and preparations didn’t produce better results.

That’s me. I came into the vacation thinking I was in good shape. Somehow the different setting – the sun, sand and surf – called out to me to let loose.

And that I did. I’ll be rolling back into town soon … literally rolling in. Then I will get back to my discipline.

Here’s the thing: It’s easy to get off track in your time with God, especially when you change your setting or routine, like on vacation. When that does happen, don’t beat yourself up. Simply make moves to get back to spending quality time with God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What gets you out-of-sync with your disciplines? Leave your comments below.

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You Can’t Capture It

“You just can’t quite capture it,” I thought to myself as I looked over my wife’s shoulder. She was taking pictures of the sunset.

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It was spectacular that night, but what I viewed on her screen didn’t compare to what I saw just above the horizon of her phone.

Almost every night it’s the same thing. Well, it’s different in that the sunset is brand new every night, but it is just as amazing one night to the next.

All we can do is capture a portion of it, a scaled down version and reminder of what we really saw. We can’t capture the vast scope of it, nor can we capture the depth of what our eyes drink in. There is nothing like it.

The crazy thing is it’s free. Every night it only costs us a twelve minute walk, or a three minute bike ride down to the shore to take it all in.

My wife, Lily, and I were at a market the other day where someone was selling large prints of nature scenes. There were pictures of the beach, flowers and trees in the woods.

They were all stunning and inviting. They were also so cheap I wanted to buy at least one, but we didn’t have a wall that was big enough to hang one on. And how long could I look at the same picture without wanting, needing something different to look at?

Even with the cheap cost and beauty of these images, they paled in comparison to the free sunsets that go for as far as your eye can see, until the sun dips below the horizon on the lake.

And these sunsets are different every night. One displays a pale blue sky overlaid with light orange ribbons of colour. Another is a dark red fireball that sends deep pink and purple brush stokes across the clouds to complete the vista.

You can’t keep them though. You want to take one home, to look at it and then be able to look back at it again.

And maybe again.

But it is gone when the darkness takes over and erases the enormous etch-a-sketch in the sky.

People, all kinds of them, with their cameras and phones, lingered to take captive one last shot of the never returning sunset before them.

There was a little sense of melancholy at the end, but not too much because everyone there knew there would be a new one the next night.

I was ready to go for ice cream, but Lily wanted a few more pictures and even after that she wanted to just stand and watch for a while, as if it was an intriguing drama on the big screen.

No, it’s just a sunset. It’s big and bold; it changes every day, and it’s free for all. You just can’t really capture it.

Here’s the thing: You can’t capture a picture of a sunset that really shows what it’s like, but the sunset captures you. And that is God’s intent with creation. He has made it so it will draw us to His beauty, grandeur and magnificence. We can’t capture or fully understand God, but He can capture our hearts and our minds with what He has made for us. Allow God to capture your heart; the encounter will be new and fresh every day like a sunset.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: Where have you seen the best sunsets? Leave your comments below.

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Love Is A Curious Thing

“Love is a curious thing” – that’s part of a line from a song by Huey Lewis and the News.

Bachelorette rose

The other night I was forced to watch the ending of the Bachelorette. That’s right, I said I was forced, outnumbered with nowhere to go.

It was just the last four minutes of the show, but that was where it all happened. Two men went to propose to one woman. One guy was sent away sad, and all the other guy could say was, “I love you”.

Here’s another line from that song, “Power of Love:: “makes a one man weep, makes another man sing”. Ha, that’s what we saw in the show.

Huey Lewis must be a prophet. Years ago he said that that was the power of love, and the other night, the Bachelorette proved him right!

The men came separately, at different times, each getting out of a black Escalade. The first thing you saw was their shoes and socks.

I didn’t like the first guy’s socks, and from the groans on the other side of the room, the other two in the room were disappointed that this guy was getting out of the car first.

Apparently it means (if you’re a Bachelorette fan) that he will not be the guy the Bachelorette picks.

If only that first guy could have chosen a different pattern on his sox he might have been the guy. I don’t think the socks even went with his suit; I certainly wouldn’t have worn them.

The first guy said all the right things. He was so confident that she was going to pick him. Thing is, we all knew that he was going to be shot down hard.

And the girls (my wife and daughter) were right. The Bachelorette didn’t even let him get down on his knee to propose to her. She cut him off and said he was not the one.

She was really heart broken, you could tell. She said she loved him but he still was not the guy she was going to choose.

A lessor known music group, “Little Feat”, sang about this in a song called, “Two Trains”: “Now there’s two trains runnin’ on that line, one train’s me and the other’s a friend of mine.”

The Bachelorette show is set up in just that way. The second guy showed up after in an identical Black Escalade. He was just as confident, though there was a hint of nerves.

What if she picked the other guy over him? He almost tripped over one of the platforms that was on the beach to give them stability as they made their entrance.

Oh, but he was that lucky guy; he was the one she wanted over the first guy. She loved them both but she could only pick one, and she picked number two. I thought he had a better choice of socks anyway.

Lowell George who wrote the song, “Two Trains”, thought this was the way to go. He said, “You know it would be all right, be just fine, if the woman took one train and left the other behind.”

And that’s just what she did. The Bachelorette, now a popular TV show in 2016, was fashioned after two songs written in 1973 and 1985.

Here’s the thing: In love we have to choose one or another. There is a winner and a loser. But with God, He has chosen us – all of us – to show His love to. All we have to do is accept it.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: Have you taken God up on His love proposal yet? Leave your comments below.

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I’ve Been Waiting For A Long Time

Waiting is something we do all the time, but not that well. I guess I shouldn’t speak for everyone; there must be someone out there who’s good at waiting.

waiting for train

But I would say, on average, not many of us enjoy it. We are programmed to get things fast.

I was recently at a farmers’ market and there were all kinds of people at this one booth, trying to purchase vegetables.

The seller was helping one person at a time, but I noticed a woman getting things herself. Then instead of waiting until the seller had finished with someone else, she handed a five dollar bill over everyone’s heads, showed what she had and left. She didn’t wait at all.

Most of us would do that if we could (if we didn’t think it was impolite to butt in line) because we hate waiting.

I just read the other day that there are three hour wait times at the border to get into Canada from the USA. Our dollar is down, and gas is fairly cheap. Why not take a trip to Canada for vacation?

Well, a three hour wait at the border apparently has everyone up in arms. Travellers are pulling their hair out.

Can you imagine a car with a few kids in the back seat, continuously asking, “When are we going to get there?” … and the car hasn’t moved more that five feet in the last twenty minutes?!

Vacation? Those kids will be lucky if they survive the trip through the Canadian border.

Merchants are all up in arms as well. They say that every minute of delay at the border is more money not spent in Canadian stores. They want the government to either schedule or hire more customs officers, like right now!

Forget all this waiting! It’s tough; it’s not easy; we hate it.

But what about waiting on God?

Recently, I needed to fill a preaching assignment for just after my vacation. Usually I have that all set up before I go away, but this year I had already been turned down once and had to wait into my vacation for an answer from a second person.

One week into my vacation I got an answer that he wasn’t going to be available, so I needed a plan B.

Just as I thought of a plan and was about to act on it, I received an email from someone in my congregation who felt compelled to share with everyone what God has been doing in his life.

By the end of the second week of my vacation I had my speaker. I had to wait two weeks for God to provide, but when it was all said and done, I didn’t have to do anything to arrange it. God took care of it.

All I had to do was wait – not easy to do, but sometimes that’s what it takes.

Here’s the thing: We do have to wait for a lot of things in life. We have to wait in lines, at bank machines, restaurants, border crossings, movie theatres, and pretty much anything else you can think of. We also have to wait on God for things. Waiting is not the enemy; waiting is part of life. When it comes to God, waiting on Him will bring the best to whatever we are waiting for. Don’t tear your hair out, or fixate on the waiting. Relax, keep going and see what God will bring about.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you need to wait on God for that’s been frustrating you up until now? Leave your comments below.

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I Have Special Privileges

I’m sure that the people I talked to yesterday think I have special privileges with God.

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Everyone knows it’s been a dry summer in southern Ontario. It’s been warm and hot so far, and when you add in the humidity, this summer rivals any warm spot south of the border.

It’s been so dry that at our cottage the grass is pretty much gone and only the weeds are flourishing. We needed to do something or all we would have left is sand and weeds.

So with my brother’s help we put in an irrigation system. And no, we didn’t bury 50 feet of garden hose in the process, but you can read about that story in this post (click here).

The installation of the system didn’t take much more that a few hours. Getting all the parts we needed took longer. I think the sprinkler manufacturers try to make it difficult to hack their system and make it a lot cheaper.

I don’t think it hurt us working with bone dry, sandy ground either. It made digging the trenches for the tubing fairly easy. The edger went into the ground like butter.

When we finished the install, I hooked it all up and tested the lines; it worked like a charm.

Our plan was to put down grass seed all over our property and then water it like crazy with our new system.

That was the theory. That was the plan. That was what we were going to do.

But since it was Sunday morning, first we were going to church.

On our way out of the park that our cottage is in, I noticed a white piece of paper hanging from the security gate.  As we approached, the words on the paper startled me.

The words burned in my mind as they raised with the arm of the gate to let us out of the park.

The words read, “watering ban in effect” … Whaaaaaaaat?!

We just finished putting in a sprinkler system to give us a lawn and keep our property from turning into a dune or a beach volleyball pit, and before I get to use my new watering system there is a ban on watering.

What gives with that?

After church, we did put seed down on the lawn. I went over to my brother’s place and there were some people there who knew what we had done so they kind of mocked me.

They joked that it was on account of me that the watering ban was on. So to counter them I said, “I’m praying for rain.”

Well, we haven’t had rain in a week or so. Everything is dry. But as the afternoon went on it looked more and more like it might rain.

That evening the humidity was thick, the air couldn’t hold the moisture any longer and it rained.  In fact, it rained for a good portion of the night.

Those people know I’m a preacher; they heard me say I was praying for rain. Now who’s laughing? I felt a little like Elijah, except without the false prophets, sacrifices, and fire from heaven (check that story out here).

If they thought I had an inside track to God before, they really think that now.

Here’s the thing: God is faithful; He gives us just what we need.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How have you seen God’s faithfulness in your life? Leave your comments below.

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A New Idea For Your Shopping Experience

I’ve come up with a new idea for grocery stores, something I’m sure could be used in other retail businesses as well.

The idea is a bit of a throwback to the “service is king” mentality of yesteryear. It should work well because it will market to people who remember yesteryear.

“Yesteryear” is a time in the past – not really sure when – but it was long ago. It’s also referred to fondly by many as “the good old days”.

This idea I have is for seniors, and I really think it could take off. It would cost the grocery stores some money in employing young teens who can handle a harsh comment and a light touch of a cane to the back of the leg.

Here’s where I got the idea from …

I was at a grocery store helping Lily do the shopping. Actually, I was adding to the shopping cart, her shopping list and to the price we would be paying.

I had found something about two aisles over from where Lily was with the cart. As I made my way to Lil, I saw a little old lady (not the one from Pasadina) at the end of the aisle where Lily was looking intently at the label on a package of paper towels.

The lady caught my eye because she was just standing there with her hand on a stack of pop cans, with a look on her face that I identified as “I think I might need some help here”.

I thought maybe she was not feeling well, like maybe she was dizzy, or weak, or confused. So I asked her, “Are you okay? Do you need some help?

She responded by saying “I can’t find my shopping cart; someone has taken it.”

Hearing that I was ready to jump into action and overpower the jerk who took the old lady’s cart. But just as I was about to start looking, a teenaged store employee came along with her cart and a cane.

I guess she had wondered off from them and didn’t remember where they were. The young man called her by name and said, “here you go” as he handed her her stuff.

She turned and commented, “It’s hard; I’m 91 years old.” As she shuffled away, I saw a cashier trying to wave her down, telling her she also had some groceries waiting at the cash.

You know that lady was going to get into a car and drive away after that?! … but that’s another blog post altogether.

When I saw all this happen I got inspired. I bet a lot of seniors – I mean the really senior kind of seniors – would love to have a young guy or girl push their cart and fill it, all on their command.

Seniors would flock to a grocery store that had that kind of service. The kids wouldn’t mind; they might even get a tip, and something monetary from the seniors they served.

Who knows? By the time I get to be a real senior, I might like a little of that yesteryear treatment too.

Here’s the thing: We all need a little help at times in life. One of the most important things a church provides is others to walk with you when you need that helping hand. Church should be a place where people assist each other and we all should be on the lookout for those we might be able to help.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How have you been helped by someone in your life? Leave a comment below.

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Frustrated On The Road Again

Traveling the other day, I found myself a little frustrated. The conditions were good; the sun was shining, and the road was dry.

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The traffic, though heavy, was moving at a good pace.

I had some music on and really, what more could you ask for? … Not much, except I would have liked the guy in front of me to get out of the way!

I found him a little annoying. Well, to be honest, a little more than annoying.

For one thing, he didn’t drive at a steady pace. He would keep up with the traffic ahead of him for a few minutes, but then slow down by almost 10 km/hr. I found I was on the gas, off the gas the whole trip.

I would have passed him but it was only a two lane highway and there was steady traffic coming the other way.

I figured he wasn’t much of a skater – he had to have weak ankles not to be able to keep his foot on the gas at an even pressure for very long.

I found myself analyzing what he was probably like. I came up with his personality traits and the kinds of things he was thinking about.

If I had have had a police sketcher in the seat next to me I think I probably would have been able to come up with a fairly good picture of what he looked like.

My picture might not have looked anything like the guy in real life, but it was dark out and so we will never know for sure.

Let’s just say my description fit him to a T.

The other thing that bugged me about his driving was he used his brakes all the time. We were driving on a highway; there were no lights, just straight road!

There was no need to touch the brakes, but it was like he needed to hit them frequently just to make sure the pedal was still there or that someone hadn’t tampered with his brake line.

Like in most things, momentum is key. I’ve learned in mountain biking to try to use your brakes as little as possible, because any forward momentum you’ve built up will be lost as soon as you put on the brakes. Coasting is a better way to control your speed than stepping on and off the brakes.

However, on a bike when you loose momentum, you have to expend a lot of energy pedalling to get it back. In a car you just have to put your foot back on the gas pedal … unless you have weak ankles and can only sustain the pressure on the gas for a short amount of time, like the guy who was driving in front of me.

In the end we parted ways. He turned off the road, and someone else had to drive behind him and get all frustrated.

As for me, I’ll forget about him, but there’s plenty others out there who will take his place in front of me.

Here’s the thing: Life can frustrate you at times. You may even be a little frustrated with God, feeling like He is not clearing the way for you. Patience is required, and maybe that’s what you need God’s help for more than anything else.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has you frustrated lately? What will you do about it? Leave your comments below.

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When YouTube Strikes The Funny Bone

YouTube is a source for help and a source of humour … and sometimes one video can pull together both those elements.

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In my last post I wrote about how I was thinking of putting in some kind of watering system for our lawn. It’s been so dry that the only things that remain green are the weeds.

For research I turned to YouTube. It doesn’t matter what you are working on, or thinking of doing, someone has already attempted it and has recorded it on video for the masses to see.

There is a world of practical information and tutorials out there made by well-meaning people. I say “well-meaning” because there is a vast array of quality when it comes to these videos.

There are those who try to show you what to do, or tell you what they are doing, all while they are also holding the camera. It’s like they are filming on the back of a moving horse.

Then there are those who are over instructive. They want to make sure they have not left anything to the viewers’ imagination or interpretation.

And there are some who can pull together an instructive video that really is helpful.

In my search for a video to show me possible methods of in-ground water sprinklers, I found one who took forever explaining things I and every 10 year old on the planet already knew.

But along the way a video caught my eye. It was two young guys showing how to make an in-ground system for under $20.

The video started with the equipment and tools you would need to do it. Then they demonstrated how you would install their system. This is where it got funny.

They had found a 50 foot garden hose on sale for $2.49, which would really help their price point.

They showed how to mark the path of where the hose would go and put a sprinkler head on one end. They attached the other end to the water source coming out of the house. They then dug up the ground along the path of the hose.

Before they actually buried the hose underground, they had one issue to take care of: they had bought a 50 foot hose but only needed about 20 feet of it for their project.

Now, you have to remember these young guys were about 12-14 year old kids. So instead of cutting the hose to the length they needed, they suggested you coil the excess hose and bury it.

That’s right, you heard me! This sprinkler head was going to be at the corner of a garden, so they coiled 30 feet of hose, dug a shallow grave for it in the garden, and covered it up.

It was my laugh for the day. I’m still chuckling a week later!

… Definitely informative and funny.

Here’s the thing: Don’t be all serious when you read the Bible. There are things in there that will make you smile, and even laugh if you let them. Sometime you might find yourself chuckling with God as you read about Gideon and his battle against the Midianites without weapons. Sometimes you might chuckle at how much you are like the characters in the Bible. God’s Word is both instructive and, yes, it can be funny too, in places.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you found to be a funny passage in the Bible? Leave your comments below.