my day

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My Goal Setting Disaster

There is something about the beginning of a new year that sparks an urge in many of us to set goals or think of plans for the months ahead. New Year’s resolutions are at the top of people’s minds, with dreams of what the coming year will bring, and an anticipation of making those dreams come true.

For the last few years I’ve been following a plan to set my goals. I’m not naturally a goal setter; on my own, I’m more spur of the moment, but since that doesn’t jive with my world, I force myself to plan.

However, this year I’m having an issue right out of the gate. I’ve decided not to purchase the plan I’d been following in recent years; instead I’m going to try to set my goals with the materials I already have and the process I’m now familiar with.

The problem with that is it is now up to me to get going. I don’t have email reminders and links to motivational videos that press me into making time to get my goals down on paper in a manner that is realistic but challenging for the year.

Having a coach or trainer who encourages me to get going and to follow through has helped in the past, but this year I have to be coach, trainer and student.

I can do it, but there are times I feel a little schizophrenic, or like I’m having conversations with another part of myself – like the guy in the old movie, Taxi Driver. He stood in front of a mirror and started talking to his reflection, saying “Who are you looking at? You looking at me?”

I know I can get past this, and move myself on to set goals this year, but the other problem is time.

I’ve had a very busy Christmas season this year. Yes, I called it a “season” because, for me, there is about a six week span that is pretty much completely focused on Christmas.

I really haven’t had any down time to make room for setting goals. Normally there is a bit of a lull between Christmas and the first few days of January before it’s back to the regular pace.

I didn’t get that lull this year.

To do my goal setting the way I’ve been doing it the last few years, I need about thirty minutes each day for five days to pull it all together.

I’m not seeing that time this next week, and I’m away for most of the week after that.

It might not be until the end of January that I have the time to clear sufficient space in my life to set some goals. I don’t really like that plan, but it might be my only option.

On the other hand, though I feel overloaded, and like I don’t have a window of time to set my goals, I really only need thirty minutes a day. I should be able to squeeze thirty minutes into the next five days if I make it a goal.

Look, I’ve already set one goal!

Here’s the thing: The beginning of a year is a great time to make commitments of how you want to grow in your relationship with Christ for the coming year. It’s easy to put off; it’s easy to think it’s too late. But the best thing to do is decide right now when you will make your spiritual growth commitment for this year and then keep that date.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you find hardest about setting goals? Leave your comment below.

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I Can’t Believe I Forgot that Event!

How can you forget an event you had planned for and were looking forward to? … You might do that if you were very busy and it was just one of many things you had to do.

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Well, I did that when I had nothing else to do. And it wasn’t like I remembered part way through and was able to just get there late. I didn’t think of it until it was over!

It was New Year’s Day, our daughter was in town and there was an OHL hockey game scheduled. Being the chaplain of the team, I’m kind of expected to show up to games.

I usually make arrangement for tickets the week of a game, but with the holidays things got messed up. So just two days before the game, I called a guy and arranged to get three tickets.

The tickets would be waiting for me at the main gate … They’re probably still there waiting for me.

I was looking forward to going with Lily and Karlie. We didn’t have anything else to do or anywhere else to go, so it was perfect.

New Year’s Day was a pretty lazy affair. I went to see Star Wars in an empty theatre with my son, took an afternoon nap, and worked on my sermon.

I was looking for something to do, wanting something to do before Lily suggested something that I didn’t want to do.

She suggested that we play a game … and in hindsight you’d think that would have triggered thoughts of the hockey game we had tickets to.

Since I’m not a fan of playing games, and since I had nothing else to do, I decided it would be a good time to put the winter tires on the car … I didn’t really want to change the tires but it was something that needed to get done.

After that task was finished, I checked in with Lily and Karlie playing a game, each of them trying to beat the other and beat their own scores.

That didn’t even jiggle loose any memory of the hockey game from the far regions of my brain.

I then decided it would be a good time to rent a movie. After checking out all the possibilities on TV and having to make a tough decision on a rental, I finally settled down to my movie.

The first couple of scenes came on and I don’t even know what it was, but all of a sudden I remembered – WE HAD TICKETS TO THE GAME TONIGHT!

It was 9:30 pm at that point; the game would have been over. I yelled down to Lily and Karlie, “We forgot we had tickets to the game tonight!” … I heard many groans of disappointment from the basement.

It turned out that the boys didn’t need me cheering them on. They won 5-3 on their own.

Maybe I need a little more in my schedule to keep me attentive to the things I have planned.

Here’s the thing: I don’t know how many times I have forgotten to ask God for help, until it was almost too late or was too late. There have been times someone else has said to me, “Have you prayed about that yet?”, and no, I hadn’t. The great news is God never forgets about us, so learn from your forgetfulness and keep going. There’s always another game.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What are some reasons why you don’t think of first asking God for help? Leave your comment below.

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Christmas Tree Memories

This morning I’m sitting in our family room looking at our Christmas tree. The lights from the tree and the winter village are the only lights that are on.

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The tree lights draw my focus in and, as I sit quietly alone, I can’t help but reflect on what the tree represents.

I know that some people say that the Christmas tree is some pagan holiday symbol that we’ve stolen and now use as a symbol of Christmas. I don’t get too hung up on that because for years we sang hymns that had stolen their tunes from old bar songs.

It’s almost like hymn writers were the first “Weird Al Yankovic”. And if you don’t know who Weird Al is, don’t worry about it – it’s not important to my Christmas tree reflection.

To me this Christmas tree has become a burden and a blessing. And this year we decided to be done with the burden part.

You see, for the last 30 years Lily and I have exchanged Christmas decorations, and since our kids were born they also have received decorations. So let me do a little calculating here … that works out to 110 ornaments!

No wonder Lily sighs when she thinks about putting the decorations on the tree. But that’s nothing – our poor Christmas tree starts drooping in preparation for all that extra weight on its branches.

Let me tell you about the burden … These decorations are not just any decorations. They have to reveal something about the kind of year that person has had, or something memorable in that person’s year.

Like the year we vacationed without the kids, I got a small picture frame and added a picture of two people in beach chairs on a beach. The year the doctor told me my triglycerides were sky high, I went on a diet to get them down. Lily gave me a grapefruit ornament that said “the year of the grapefruit” to remind me of my progress.

At first I didn’t take this ornament giving too seriously. I think for the first four Christmases I got her a red ball decoration that said “our first, second, third … Christmas together”.

But that didn’t last. They don’t make “our 13th Christmas together” shiny hanging balls.

There were some dark years that I had to struggle to find a theme for the year. Eventually I ended up making many of my ornaments. That in itself took a lot of work.

It seemed sometimes that it was more work than it was worth. But on Christmas morning when Lily would open her gift, her reaction was always worth the effort I put into it.

But year after year it’s a burden, and there’s not much room on the tree anymore. I suggested that from now on we should just pick a ten year period and only put decorations up from that decade.

She didn’t like that idea. Instead, out of the blue one day, Lily said maybe we should stop giving ornaments to each other. I jumped at the suggestion and said, “Great idea; let’s stop.”

So I’m looking at the tree right now, with all its memories, because that’s what they are. The burden is over; I don’t have to make another ornament. But the blessing … the blessing of the memories that fill that tree will continue to bring comfort to my mind.

Here’s the thing: Remember special times in your spiritual life, like when you accepted Christ, when you made a spiritual breakthrough, how God met a need, how He helped you at a crucial time in your life. It’s those memories that will stay present with you, and give you comfort in the years to come.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What traditions do you have that bless you with great memories? Leave your comment below.

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Up Early Christmas Morning … Again!

Well, this year I’ve come full circle. I thought it would take longer for it to happen, like maybe not until I was 80 or 85.

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But no, it’s happened already.

In life we start out needing help for pretty much everything and, at the end, we also need more and more help.

They say seniors and teens have lots in common. They both can’t hear – one group because of head phones, the other because, well … they just can’t hear.

They both have no filters on what they say; they say exactly what they’re thinking.

You don’t like their music and they sure won’t tolerate yours.

Each thinks the other doesn’t know anything.They both don’t remember what you said to them five minutes ago.

And they’re both really dangerous behind the wheel of a car!

I’m not saying these things are observable right now in my life, but there is one thing.

When I was a kid I used to get up real early on Christmas morning. It was understandable; I was excited about the presents and all.

Then I went through the stage where I slept in on Christmas morning because I was tired and not that excited about what was under the tree.

But this year, in this way, I’ve reverted back to my childhood. I was up at the crack of dawn Christmas morning.

That’s right, 5:55 in the morning and I was climbing out of bed!

The difference this year was I passed by the treasures in the living room and headed straight downstairs.

I spent time alone doing my devotions and then I worked on my sermon.

We had determined the night before that we would get things rolling at our house at about 10 am so I figured I would have a few hours of productivity first.

By the time people were stirring and visions of sugar plums were starting to fade, I had a couple of hours of work completed on my sermon.

I had tried to work ahead, but I just hadn’t been able to finish my sermon before Christmas Eve for the Sunday after Christmas.

With only a couple of days in between, it meant writing on Christmas Day or Boxing Day. I didn’t want to miss out on time with my family so I thought, “I have an opportunity here to use unused, discarded time to get things done.”

I had just put the final strokes on my message when I heard some footsteps from above. For a second I thought it  was old Saint Nick making his yearly visit but then I realized it was only my wife heading into the kitchen.

As the house came alive and everyone gathered for some breakfast, I emerged from the basement, sermon complete, ready to enjoy Christmas morning with my family with no pressure hanging over my head.

But just like the young, about mid afternoon I was ready for a nap.

Here’s the thing: Often we think those early hours are time to sleep, and not good for anything. But those early quiet hours can be the most special time we can have with God.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Paul

Question: What have you seen come full circle in your life? Leave your comment below.

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Christmas Time Is All About Travel

You know it’s Christmas time when you start making several long distance day trips.

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Some people know it’s Christmas time when the lights go up, when the snow starts to fall, or when they start hearing Christmas songs on the radio.

For me those are only the birth pangs of Christmas. In the Bible we’re told that wars and earthquakes aren’t the end of the world, they are just signs that it’s getting close.

When we have our Christmas program and dinner at church, I know it’s getting close. When I hear the “Boss” Bruce Springsteen singing “Santa Clause is Coming to Town” on the radio, I start to feel the rumblings.

But I really know it’s Christmas when I have to pack the car for a day trip to Toronto and another day trip to Ottawa.

We live the farthest away from both sides of our family so we are always on the move at Christmas. The downside is that we usually meet on the Saturdays before and after Christmas so I have to be back home the same day in order to be ready to preach the next day.

It makes for a couple of long days.

The first trip is three hours to Toronto, followed by a game of hockey with our sons and nephews trying to show us up on the ice. They’re all getting pretty big and good … or my brother, John, and I are getting old and slow. Worse … maybe it’s a combination of both!

After hockey we have dinner and then hang out, eating some candy off my dad’s old candy tray. John has taken Dad’s place, every year meticulously purchasing and arranging the candy on the three-tiered server.

Then before it gets too late in the evening, we make the three hour trek back home.

The second day is very similar, minus the hockey game. There’s more chill time, but we still have the commute on either end of the day.

The travel is what makes these days exciting. You just never know what you are going to get from one day to another or one year to another.

We’ve travelled in blizzards, rain and freezing rain. We’ve driven on bare roads, ice,  and ruts with six inches of snow.

This year should prove to be the best driving weather we’ve had in many, many years … but you never know until you make the trip. And the way home can be very different from the way down.

But you know what? It’s Christmas time and that’s what we do at Christmas. We spend a little time with our extended family. We take some time to enjoy each other’s company, to eat and laugh, share stories and remember.

One of the best things we do is remember – remember our family when it was younger and smaller, remember family members who are no longer with us. We remember the good, the best of how we got to be where we are.

It’s Christmas time; that’s what we do.

Here’s the thing: The first Christmas story is not that dissimilar to our Christmas each year. Joseph and Mary had to travel a long distance. The conditions were anything but ideal. There was a little drama when they got to Bethlehem, a little competition for a place to stay. But in the end, it was an event that created a memory for them they would never forget.

In fact we remember this event now. Hey, it’s Christmas time – time to remember Christ’s birth, time to remember how much God loves us.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What will you do to celebrate Christmas this year? Leave your comment below.

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How To Get The Pie You Really Want

Most people like pie. In fact, if you ask anyone, they will tell you what their favourite pie is.

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We all have a favourite.

When I was young, my aunt took me to a restaurant and for dessert she ordered me a piece of lemon meringue pie.

That immediately became my favourite … but I was young and impressionable at the time and I did not have a lot of experience with pie.

I learned over the years that there were many pies that I could consider as dear to my heart. But there became one pie that stood out from all the rest …

Raspberry pie.

You see, we had a large raspberry patch in our backyard and we enjoyed raspberries for a good portion of the summer. Every year my mom would make one or two pies from the fruit of the patch.

It takes a lot of raspberries to make a pie … well, to make a real pie –  it’s just raspberries and sugar. (My mouth started to water as I wrote that last sentence.)

I would savour that pie and, if I was lucky, I would get two pieces. They were so good I had to lick the plate! I know that’s not polite to do, but when something is that good you can’t let any of it escape your taste buds, can you?

Since that time, when I’m looking for a piece of pie, I’m always on a quest for raspberry.

I remember one time stopping on the side of the road in the country. A little old woman was selling pies and she had a raspberry one. I was so excited I bought it and couldn’t wait to get it home to eat. But my joy turned to disappointment at the first bite.

I couldn’t believe a grandmotherly, farm lady would make her pie out of jam! There should be a law against that.

You get the idea that raspberry pies are sacred to me and they need to be crafted in a purely natural way, without foreign additives.

So you can understand that at our church Christmas dinner, where the men were requested to bring pies for dessert, I kind of put a plug in for raspberry pies.

I had good intentions. I figured that since I was usually near the end of the line when it came to the meal, if there were a few raspberry pies, I might have a chance to get a piece.

Well, yesterday was our church Christmas dinner, and I guess I pumped up the raspberry pie pretty good because someone told me there were about six!

I shouldn’t have been worried. I should have been patient, but when I saw the lineup for dessert, I couldn’t help but eat faster.

I was one of the last to go through the meal line, and many were finishing their dinner when I was starting. So when I finished my food, I snuck to the front of the dessert line and snagged me a piece of my precious!

I’m not proud of it, but it didn’t sour the taste of that delicious raspberry pie going down … with a little whip cream on top too!

Here’s the thing: We go to great lengths to get something that we really like or want. We don’t let obstacles get in our way. We need to be that way with God. We should not let anything get in the way of our relationship with Him. Let nothing stop you from spending time with Him … that”s how much we should want God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What lengths have you gone to to get your favourite pie? Leave your comment below.

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I’m Still Paying For Dinner

Someday, when my family goes out to dinner, I won’t be paying the bill. The other night I saw a foreshadow of this, but in the end, I still had to ante up.

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My family is not quite there yet. They still depend on dad to come through at crucial times, like at the cash register or when the mobile credit card machine is brought to the table.

It was a momentous occasion – both Karlie and Mike were in town on the same day when it wasn’t a holiday or some special event. It was a last minute kind of thing so we quickly threw a plan together.

I got a couple of extra tickets to the hockey game and we decided to go out for dinner beforehand.

We only had one hitch: we had to decide where we would eat. That shouldn’t normally be a difficult decision. There are plenty of restaurants in town.

Reading everyone’s mind and coming up with the right place is not always easy in my family.

I suggested burgers … Hey, we were going to a hockey game, not the theatre, so burgers seemed to be a good fit.

My wife, however, wanted everything. She wanted a classy dinner at hamburger prices.

Well, there just isn’t that option in downtown Kingston, so we ended up settling on a trendy restaurant which catered more towards Lily’s atmosphere tastes than her desired price point.

It was good though because we were all in agreement.

However, I noticed a few things right away. It was my son who took the lead at getting us a table. It seemed to me that our waitress identified him as the leader of our group … or that he was the most eligible person at the table!

And when the menu came, it was Mike who gave his mother a few pointers regarding what was on it. And both our kids gave us a little instruction or constructive criticism on ordering food in a restaurant.

When that happened, I had a flashback to when they were children and we not only had to order for them but we had to feed them as well.

I wondered if the tables will turn completely the other way one day. Well, it’s better not to think about that too much, so, never mind.

We had a great meal. Everyone seemed to enjoy what they ordered and I noticed my kids didn’t seem to have any concern for the price of things.

When it was time for the bill, the waitress brought it to the other side of the table where my son was sitting.

Maybe it was because he was dressed a little better than I was, or maybe he just seemed to be the one in charge at our table. … Or maybe he was the most eligible one at the table and she was hoping he also had all the money.

Well, sadly for her and for me, Mike had no hesitation with passing the bill over to me.

I had this brief glimmer of hope of what could be, of what might be someday. It all lasted two, maybe three seconds before I was staring at the $100 plus bill.

Dear old dad is still good for something, I guess.

Here’s the thing: We can look very good on the outside, like we have it all together, that everything is under control, like we can take care of things. But in the end, it doesn’t matter what we look like on the outside, all that matters is what’s inside. Do you have the currency to meet God’s demands? Faith in Christ is the only currency He’ll take.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How is your currency with God? Leave your comment below.

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The Trouble With Laces

It’s funny how a little thing like laces can get you all tied up in knots.

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I can’t say that I’m a real fan of laces … and I’m thinking specifically of long string-like, woven thread that we use to secure coverings on our feet.

Maybe my problem with laces is the time it takes to tie them. You have to bend down, and loosen the lace to get the shoe on. Then you have to pull on the ends to get them tight before you tie the bow.

All that takes time – time I don’t really want to commit to if I don’t have to.

So for me the shoes I wear are all slip-on. I don’t even have to bend down. Sure, I break down the backs of my shoes quicker than I would like, but I’ve got my shoes on and ready to go in seconds.

Even with my running shoes, which I mainly use for working out, I tie knots on the ends of the laces so the shoes stay at my predetermined tightness and I treat them like slip-ons.

There are only two pieces of footwear for which I have to tie laces: one is my golf shoes, and the other are my skates.

Along with not enjoying doing up my laces, I don’t like trying to fit the ends of the laces through the eyelets, especially when the lace ends break down and get a little frayed.

So what I do with my skates is I buy extra long laces so I never have to take my laces out of the eyelets . . . ever.

But I’ve been having a problem with my new skates. I don’t seem to like the laces at all.

When I bought the skates they came with white laces. I like black ones better, so I immediately bought a black pair to replace the white ones. I bought waxed laces, thinking that’s what I had put in my old skates.

But I didn’t have waxed laces in my old skates. … And I didn’t like waxed laces in my new ones.

They were rough on my hands and the wax made it harder to undo the laces enough to get my skates off. … Too much time.

I went to where I usually buy skate laces but I couldn’t find my normal brand. Finally, I found a pair without wax that seemed like they would work.

When I put those laces in my skates, however, they were so stretchy and slippery that they wouldn’t stay tight.

So now I have traders in laces – the white pair that came with the skates and two pairs of black laces that I bought and didn’t like.

I actually took out the laces from my old skates and used them. They fit just right. Do I sound like Goldilocks?

I’ve never had this much trouble with laces since I mostly stopped using them. I just hope I will find a replacement I like.

Here’s the thing: Working time with God into your day can be difficult. No matter how much time you give to God, it’s going to cut into your day. The thing is you need that time with Him and the best thing you can do is find a time and tools that will fit you well.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What time with God has fit you well? Leave your comment below.

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Today Is The Day The Lights Go Up

So today has been declared, “put up the Christmas lights” day.  No one has put any pressure on me to do it today; it’s just time to get them up.

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I’ve seen the Christmas lights on many houses for the last week or so, but I’m not one to start burning through the electricity all that early in the season.

My neighbour is pretty smart. He waits for the warmest day in November and gets them up even if he doesn’t turn them on for another couple of weeks. His lights have been on for the last week and every time I drive into our court, they stare at me, goading me into playing Russian roulette with the weather.

And that’s what I usually do. I see my neighbour out there getting his lights up, wearing a light sweater or jacket … but I like to take my chances.

Sometimes it doesn’t work out well for me – I’ve put my lights up when the snow’s been flying and it’s frosty on the hands. There were times I’ve even had to wear a winter jacket and hat.

If you know me, I don’t wear hats all that much. The only time you’ll see me wearing a toque is on a ski hill, or tobogganing, or losing at weather Russian roulette putting up my Christmas lights.

It doesn’t take me too long because I’ve figured out a system and I have the right clips to make it all work. … However, it used to be a problem.

For many years the light manufacturers weren’t meeting their profit margins, so every year it seemed they would change up the clips to attach the lights to your eavestrough or roof shingles.

When I would go to put up my lights, I would invariably be short a couple of clips. So off I’d go to Canadian Tire, only to find they didn’t make those clips anymore. I had to replace them all with a new clip system.

The light people must be doing alright now because I haven’t had to overhaul my light clips in several years.

One thing I miss though is the help. Years ago, before my daughter, Karlie, left home, she would help me. It made the job a little nicer; it was something we looked forward to each year.

I tried to get my son, Mike, to help when Karlie moved away, but he never had much interest. I think he figured one day he’d be doing it for the rest of his life, so he was in no hurry to get started.

The great thing about putting up the lights today is that I won the weather game this year. It’s a mild day out there; no need for gloves.

Here’s the thing: In Ecclesiastes it says there is a time for everything, like a time to reap and a time to sow. The thing is you have to do whatever it is at the right time. If you don’t do it at the right time it will be harder or impossible for you. It works the same way with God. There is a right time to give yourself to God, and if you miss the right time, it’s not just harder, it’s impossible to give yourself to Him. The good thing is the time is now and we don’t know when it will end. The smart play is to give yourself to Him now – today. Get it done. Don’t play Russian roulette with God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you put off that you should just get done? Leave your comment below.

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The “I Want It” Principle

There’s something about not being able to do something that makes you long to do it more.  This is a true principle that we all live with.

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You see it clearly in the play of young children. A child plays contently until he sees the toy in another child’s hand. Then suddenly, that’s all he wants.

Children don’t have patience, and they can’t control their emotions like adults can, so they grab for what they can’t have, or get upset and have a tantrum.

We’ve all seen this. It’s predicable and amazing every time.

But just because we grow up and are able to control ourselves, doesn’t mean that this principle is not active or true for us who are mature and have lived on this earth for many years.

We are just able to process the situation, control our emotions and know when to give up on something. We have some common sense that drives us which young children don’t have.

This principle, which I call the “I want it” principle, was revealed in me today, probably because of the season.

It happens every year for me, at the time of year that our house gets decorated for Christmas. The artificial trees get hauled out of storage; the boxes of decorations begin to be uncrated.

At this time of year – every year – I have a strong desire to play pool. That’s kind of a strange urge, isn’t it?

Well, it’s not that strange when you realize that when all the Christmas boxes are brought out of their off-season hibernation, they are strewn around my pool table.

And the worse thing of all is my wife uses the top of my pool table as a flat surface to place all the tree ornaments on!

Now the table hasn’t moved in the ten years we’ve had it, and I do play pool from time to time during the year, but my urge to play is never greater than at this time of year when it is unavailable.

The urge continues over the Christmas season because we have a Christmas tree that stands about three feet from the table, making shots from that end very difficult to make.

Now in case you are wondering, no, I don’t scream or yell. I don’t get on my back and shout, flinging my limbs around at the same time.

I say nothing. I do nothing other than longingly look at my precious pool table and wish I could play a few games.

And unlike a child who you can easily distract by saying, “LOOK OVER THERE!”, to completely get their mind off the “I want it” principle, grownups aren’t as easily distracted.

Hey look, my wife is saying she just made breakfast for me . . . Now what was I talking about?

Here’s the thing: This “I want it” principle can get us confused when we pray. When we pray, we should be praying for God’s will. However, with the ‘I want it” principle in effect, we tend to believe that what we want right now is God’s will for us. Then if God doesn’t give it to us quickly, we question His ability, or care, or knowledge of us. But what we really need to do when the “I want it” principle invades our prayer life is find a distraction so that we can get our minds off the “I want it” and on to seeking God’s will.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you asked God for that turned out to be an “I want it” request? Leave your comment below.