my day

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Change Happens Over Time

A lot can happen over a long period of time. You don’t notice the change at first because it takes time to develop.

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Recently, we cleaned the deck in our backyard. When we moved in to our house the wood was pressure-treated and it looked great. But over the years it started to look grey and old and there were dark patches that became more dominant.

It didn’t just happen; it gradually got that way so that it kind of snuck up on us. But one day we realized we needed to do something about this deck; it was not looking very good.

Scientists will say that’s the way the whole world works; it’s called evolution. Given enough time, things develop. One problem I see with their theory is that, with everything at my house that changes over time, it changes for the worst!

It deteriorates; it doesn’t get better, or turn into something new and improved. Things get worse.

You might not notice for a while, or pick up on the little signs, or indicators, but down the road at some point you realize that things are not as they were, and it’s not for the better.

This week Lily discovered something in our basement that had developed over the last week or so. I had sort of noticed that there was something going on in our basement, but it wasn’t totally clear to me.

On Friday night, Lily was talking on the phone and walking in the basement when she stepped on a wet part of the carpet.

It wasn’t supposed to be wet there and, as she looked further, she discovered that this wet area was pretty large. It had soaked the bottoms of book cases, a closet organizer and some picture frames.

When Lily told me, I realized what I had noticed earlier – a faint, musty smell that was actually coming from this water.

We knew right away where the problem originated. I had fixed a few taps in the house last week and, in doing that, had to shut off the water in the house. Well, the tap at the water meter had been dripping slowly since that time.

I guess it turns out that taps only last nineteen years because I’ve now replaced all the taps that old in the place!

It’s pretty amazing how a little drip over time can soak such a large piece of carpet and ruin several things. If it had have been a faster drip, I probably would have noticed it and not left it.

But I didn’t notice the leaky tap, and a week later it had created a mess!

It takes some people time to notice things. A few days ago, I was talking to someone and he motioned at my face. I knew immediately what he was referring to – my goatee … which is not there anymore and hasn’t been for a year and half.

There were no lasting effects with my facial hair going undetected. However, we have a big clean up ahead of us from that undetected drip in our basement.

Here’s the thing: Messes, like sin and hurts, if not addressed, can interfere with your relationship with God. They may not be that noticeable at first, but as more messes pile up, the damage to your relationship with God can get to the point where everyone around you notices things aren’t right. Don’t let the little things go unattended and you will keep your relationship with God in good shape.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you noticed that turned into something big? Leave your comment below.

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Why Grace Beats Fair Any Day

Recently I played in a golf tournament fundraiser for an organization. When the word “tournament” is involved, it always stirs something inside me to want to put my best effort into it.

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We all know that when there is competition there are winners and losers. And no amount of trying to hide that fact escapes those who are on either side.

When my son was young and playing hockey, they wouldn’t post the score on the score board after one team had a certain lead. But you could ask every boy on either team what the score was and they would be able to tell you!

In this golf tournament, I was all about our task to produce a competitive score.

The course was in great shape, the weather held up nicely throughout the round … the environment was perfect for a great round.

The only thing that let our team down was our own skill level. When the round was over and we turned in our score card, we had failed to make enough close approach shots, didn’t run up as many chips as we needed to, and didn’t make any long crucial putts.

It didn’t matter too much because, as good Canadians, we had fun playing and could purchase draw tickets for prizes at the end.

… That’s right, prizes were awarded based on your ticket being drawn and not so much on how well your team did against the other teams. I didn’t mind that but I sure would have liked to know how we did compared to the others in the tourney.

After a great meal, the score was forgotten and it was on to the prizes that were given out. I had bought one draw ticket when I registered and then, after the round, I bought two more. So I figured I had a chance at maybe getting something.

There were about five or six people handing out prizes, randomly arriving at the tables we were sitting at with prizes for those who had their tickets drawn.

About every few minutes one of these prize ushers would show up at our table with a prize. After five or ten minutes I realized something: every one of the guys at my table had a prize except me. There were seven of us.

I’m not sure if the other guys at my table caught it but they all walked away with some loot.

I started to think, “Hey, how come I got left out?” and I began to think it was all a little unfair.

Then I remembered that I had been invited to this tourney and it hadn’t cost me anything to play. I don’t think I would have been able to afford to play so it was a pretty awesome privilege just to be there.

As it turned out I may have been the most fortunate golfer at my table!

Here’s the thing: Sometimes we can think that life is unfair to us when compared to others. But we need to remember that God doesn’t treat us fairly, He treats us graciously. That’s better than fair. We don’t deserve anything from God but He is so gracious that He offers us something better than good things in this life – He invites us into His family, through His Son, Jesus Christ.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What keeps you from enjoying God’s grace? Leave your comment below.

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Silent Communication 

Have you ever wished you had gotten the silent treatment? You know, when someone refuses to speak to you even if you coax them?

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I can’t say that I’ve experienced that in my marriage. Neither Lily nor I use that method of communication.

It sounds funny to say “silence” and “communication” in the same sentence. But we do communicate through silence.

I had an instructor once who had a line he would use all the time in teaching leadership. He would say, “You can not not communicate.” It had a double negative thing going on and sounded funny to hear and to say, but it’s true.

Even in silence there is communication.

When someone goes silent, they may be communicating that they’re mad – believe me, it doesn’t take a mind reader to figure that out!

That’s just one thing that silence can communicate; there are many others …

When someone is silent, it might mean they are sad, depressed, don’t know the answer or don’t know what to say. … Mind you, there are a lot of people who don’t know things but it doesn’t stop them from sharing what they don’t know with words that almost sound like they do know!

Often when someone is silent, we don’t like it. We get uncomfortable when there is silence; we’re so used to having something in the background, some kind of noise.

When we drive in a car, we often have a radio or music playing, even if it’s low and hard to hear. It’s better than just plain silence.

In my car, silence is never an issue. I always have the sound of wind that gets louder the faster you go. They usually call that white noise, but what I experience is beyond white noise.

White noise is gentle, quiet, relaxing, in the background. In my car it sounds like a hurricane is going to break through the glass at any moment and whisk me out of Kansas, right to the land of OZ!

Silence, however, can be appreciated. We have all been in those conversations that we just wished and prayed would end.

Children with their inquisitive minds can make us long for silence … that’s when you play the car game, “Let’s see who can hold their breath the longest as we drive by this grave yard.” Oh, the quiet bliss of those moments of dead air space!

Two people who are very comfortable can remain silent in the same room or place, maybe reading different books, or thinking on their own. But it gets weird if it goes on too long, before someones says, “Hey, listen to what I just read” or “What are you thinking about that’s so funny?”

We were made to communicate, and we do it even in silence. Even when there is nothing to say, even when we can’t find the words to express what we are feeling or thinking.

Here’s the thing: Sometimes God seems silent, and we desperately want to hear from Him. Unfortunately, we don’t have a face or body language to look at to give us a clue as to what He is communicating to us in the silence. The one thing we should not stop doing is seeking to understand what His silence means. Don’t give up; don’t turn away. Keep coaxing, keep investigating what God is saying in the silence.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you feel when God is silent? Leave your comment below.

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How To Fix Things The Hard Way

I needed to be born wealthy. It’s not because I have expensive tastes; it’s because I lack the skills to fix things.

maxresdefaultI’m not great at working with my hands; it doesn’t come that easily to me.

If I was wealthy I wouldn’t have to fix things, or make things, or put things together. I could hire someone to do all that!

I’m not saying that wealthy people never fix things themselves. Some are handy, so they use their money in other ways. I would use money to hire out jobs around the house.

Reality for me, however, is I have had to learn to do things that I’m not particularly adept at.

Like this week when we had three taps that all leaked. There were two in the laundry room and one up in the ceiling of our family room that led to an outside faucet.

I sized up the work involved, took pictures and set off for the hardware store. The guy at the store looked at my pictures, listened to my explanation and then handed me a small package of washers.

He said there was a small washer at the end of these taps, and all I had to do was just remove the tap, use a screwdriver to remove the washer, replace it and put it back together.

I was encouraged. It sounded like a 15 minute job – half hour at best. Easy.

Well, it would have been easy for a handy guy … not so easy for me.

I won’t go into all the details but I had a lot of trouble loosening the screws. They were like frozen on. I guess over the years, having had water on it every day, it got stuck in place.

Well, let’s just say 5 jabs to my finger later – 3 with a screwdriver and 2 with an utility knife – I was no closer to fixing those taps.

I went to the same hardware store twice, and then didn’t think I could show my face there again.  I ended up going to two more hardware stores … not all in one trip. There were four separate trips to hardware stores!

At one point, I just sat down in the family room and watched TV. There wasn’t anything on. It was the middle of the afternoon but I needed something to take my mind off the fifteen minute job I couldn’t complete.

As I sat on the couch, I thought, “If I was wealthy, I’d have a guy in here right now. I’d be able to chat with him while he completed the task.” … But that’s not my lot in life.

I didn’t change the washers out on all the taps and they still leaked a bit. That’s when I looked at my bank account and decided I was richer than I thought.

So I purchased three new taps (they come with washers already in place) for 300% of the cost of the washers. It took me about 20 minutes to get them installed and the leaks were gone.

Why didn’t I just do that in the first place?!

Here’s the thing: Not being handy is a lot like us having to deal with temptation. We are not that good at it. It’s difficult work and we don’t do well much of the time. We get hurt or hurt others in the process. As difficult as it is to keep from sinning, there is coming a day when the riches of heaven will make temptation a thing of the past. Keep doing the hard work in the mean time.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What makes temptation hard work for you? Leave your comment below.

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The Stress Of Keeping People Waiting

It’s never nice to keep people waiting. There are some people you should never keep waiting, like the human resources person who’s going to interview you for a job.

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When someone is left waiting, it says they don’t matter, or they are unimportant, or you don’t care.

… My wife keeps me waiting almost every time we go out together, but somehow that doesn’t seem to bother her very much because she keeps on doing it. But that’s another blog.

There are times when I panic when it looks like I’m not going to make an appointment on time. I usually feel this way when I’m in the car, rushing to make it to my destination so that I don’t keep the person waiting. I might have my foot heavy on the gas but I just can’t get there fast enough.

It’s not a nice feeling.

The other day I had that feeling in church. We had set up a Skype video chat to take place during our service with a missionary couple in Spain.

There were a few technical things to consider, like getting the video chat from the computer to the big screen in the sanctuary, and getting the sound to go through the church sound system.

Since all that was taken care of, I thought all I had to do was make the call. That’s when the trouble started. My Skype program wouldn’t connect online! I had a few minutes during a song to make the call but I started to panic when it couldn’t connect.

I was really feeling the pressure to get the call going. The silence in the sanctuary raised my blood pressure, and all at the same time I was trying to think of what to do to get the call to go through and what I needed to say to the congregation.

I knew I was keeping my congregation waiting but I was also aware that I was keeping the couple on the other end of the scheduled Skype call waiting too. And they had no idea what was happening on our end.

We quickly went to a commercial break … not really … I wished we could have gone to a commercial. Instead we took up the offering and sang a song.

That gave me time to reset the modem and router, and we took one last stab at it. It wasn’t immediate but after a little fiddling and some assistance, we got the call to work.

The stress, pressure, and panic left me immediately … I don’t think that was good for my heart.

They say that playing hockey is hard on the heart because you get your heart rate up really high and then you go and sit on a bench and your heart rate drops like a rock.

Well, I think that’s what happened to me. My heart rate and everything else in me was racing … until I saw that video on the screen.

… And it was all over keeping people waiting. It’s not nice to keep them waiting, and when we do, we often feel pressured.

Here’s the thing: God wants to meet with us each day, but we keep Him waiting when we don’t make our appointment. Maybe we don’t feel the pressure, or don’t have the panic, but God is waiting. I’m not saying we should feel guilty when we don’t make that meeting with Him. Our meeting can take a different form at a different time. What I am saying is the same importance you would place on not keeping others waiting is the the same importance we should place on meeting with God daily.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: Have you ever felt pressured or panicked when keeping someone waiting? Leave your comment below.

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All Time Is Not Equal

We live in a world that tries to convince us that everyone and everything is equal. Don’t try to tell me that! It’s just not true … time isn’t even equal.

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Time is all measured out; we use it to be exact, to track things. But I’m beginning to believe that all time is not equal. For instance, we have 24 hours each day, and though every hour has 60 minutes in it, not all those hours are equal.

You can’t accomplish the same amount in every given 60 minute period of a day. You can’t even equally enjoy each 60 minute time frame in a day … nor can you control what will take place in any hour.

So when you complain that you’re short on time, and someone says we all have the same amount of time, technically he may be correct, but his statement is rather cliche with very little thought behind it.

This week I was in Toronto for a conference. One night we went to the Blue Jays baseball game. At 5 pm it took us over an hour to get down to the ball park. After the game, and a few more hours spent downtown, the trip back only took us 25 minutes. The difference was mostly traffic.

You naturally have more energy in some hours than others. You can have more interruptions at certain times or a deadline to meet before you can take a break and relax. … I don’t want to be trying do something that requires a lot of thinking when my energy is low or when there is a great chance of interruptions.

The other day I tried to plan accordingly. My intention was to write my blog early on Monday morning, but I had stayed up late the night before and didn’t get up as early as I had hoped to.

I had a short window in which to write my blog because I also had to phone to make an appointment to take our car to our mechanic. When I called, he said he could take the car right then.

Because I got up late, I didn’t start writing my blog early enough and then had to leave it to take the car in. All this took place before 9 am – prime quiet time when I have good mental energy. I lost out because of a bad decision the night before and an appointment which was out of my control.

I never did get a blog written that Monday.

It takes some planning and strategy to coordinate your day into the hours that best suit the things you want and need to do.

You just can’t go into a day without a plan or you won’t be very productive. And if you string a few of those days together, you’ll feel like you will never get out from under the backlog you find yourself in.

Here’s the thing: If you are going to spend time with God you need to plan it. And you need to plan it for a time when you will be mentally alert and you won’t face interruptions. You can’t guarantee all that but you can plan for it. If God is important to you, then plan to spend time with Him when there is the greatest chance that you will be mentally and emotionally able to meet with Him, at a time when you won’t be interrupted by things, people, emails or phone calls.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What time of day are you at your best and least distracted? Leave your comment below.

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Different Rules Apply

This is a reblog of a post I wrote March 26, 2013

There are different rules around our house when I’m on my own … to be accurate, it was my son and I who were on our own this weekend. Lily was away speaking at a women’s retreat.

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Before she left, she gave us some rules to live by while she was gone. But even as she shared her expectations with us, I knew that when the door shut, a whole different set of rules would kick in.

I listened to her directions and got some tips, like for meals she wanted us to eat the leftovers in the fridge and not spend money on food. However, I made it clear to Mike that the leftovers were for lunches and evening meals would be pizza and wings. … not together, mind you … pizza one night and then wings for the hockey game Saturday night.

I’m sure that as Lily tells us what we should eat, by now she realizes what will really happen. I think it is her eternal, optimistic, pie-in-the-sky hope that maybe we will actually follow her rules that forces her to tell us.

Along with the eating rules, the cleanliness rules go out the window as well. She knows better than to expect us to keep up to her standards. She only expects that when she returns the place will look like it did when she left. Whatever happens between then, she tries very hard not to think about.

Lily has this rule that is etched into her brain that she can’t leave the house or go to bed unless the dishes are all washed and the kitchen is clean. Mike and I don’t share the same etching in our melons! To go a day or two with a sink full of dishes is not a problem. I figure that’s why we bought a set of twelve dishes and not four.

My rule is if you leave it in the sink, put some hot water on it so that when you finally get to washing, the gunk will come off easily. It’s a good rule to follow and over the years it’s saved me a lot of time in the kitchen.

When the kids were little, keeping the place clean was more difficult. There were toys strewn all over that needed to be picked up. But now, it’s a cinch – we don’t make that much of a mess! There’s just a few clothes, crumbs, and clutter that needs to be cleaned and straightened before Lily shows up at the door.

And I know that just before she enters the house she starts imagining what it might look like. She hopes for cleanliness but braces herself for substandard neat and tidy. I know how her mind works. She played a tape in her head of what the house looked like during the weekend just to prepare herself for what she would find.

In the end, disappointment or satisfaction reigns in her, depending on whether she believes we made an effort or not.

Here’s the thing: God’s standard is perfection – something you and I can’t reach. But God has arranged it so we just have to be ready to meet Him when we die or Christ returns. God’s disappointment or satisfaction with us will be based on whether our faith is placed in Christ. And He will be able to tell if it is or not, depending on if we are seeking to please Christ or are not making any effort. Let’s all be ready.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you prepare for an inspection?  Leave your comment below.

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Choose Your Socks Wisely

This is a reblog of a post I wrote on May 21, 2013

They say you never know what a day will bring, but sometimes you can sense a day is going to have a certain theme to it. It would be nice if you could go to a drawer and, like picking out a pair of socks, pick your day’s mood (and, of course, check to make sure there’s no holes in it).

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Some people get up on the wrong side of the bed. Others roll out of bed the wrong way and voila, their day seems to be magically selected for them. Fortunately for me, I usually roll out of bed feeling good about what is ahead for me.

Unfortunately, that feeling doesn’t always last very long. The sock drawer effect happens and I pick out a day of frustration to wear like a ratty, old pair of sweat socks.

That happened to me recently. For the first hour or so (getting up, doing my devotions, showering and having breakfast) everything went well. Then I was informed that I needed to drive my wife somewhere on my way to work.

Sometimes it just takes a little rewriting of the daily script to initiate “a day of interruptions” theme. … Oh, and believe me, that did it! Driving Lily to her destination, I was a little agitated. It detained me from getting down to my planned work.

When I finally got to work, in walked an unplanned, unscheduled, perfect illustration for my “interruptions” day. The man was seeking help but each time he had come the previous week, he had been told to come back as I had been on vacation.

The last time he had been told to phone first before he came in. Instead, he just showed up. He was in need of some financial assistance and though I am not a money lender, as a pastor I am used to trying to help out people in his position.

He needed food and the solution was to get him a grocery store gift card. However, after being put off a few times already, he was not in a mood to be put off again.

As I listened to his story, my heart went out to him. Yes, it would be an interruption for me to stop what I was doing to go buy him a gift card, but I felt that’s what I should do.

Unfortunately, he had a few restrictions. He could not go to the grocery store that was the closest to the church. The next closest did not have a store near where he lived.

That meant this interruption would take even longer. Half way there I remembered I had taken my wallet out of my pocket and it was still on my desk at church, so I turned around and went back.

I got the wallet, drove back to the grocery store, and bought the gift card only to notice that the store was affiliated with a grocery store that was close to the church. I could have purchased the card there and saved half the time!

That’s how my day went, one thing after another … until I got home and changed my socks.

Here’s the thing: You can focus on the frustration of each day and get all agitated inside. OR you can view the events of the day as things God brings your way and deal with them as opportunities to serve Him. Your choice.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What is your biggest frustration?  Leave your comment below.

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When You Get Lost in the Change

I get a little lost at this time of year, especially in the evenings. For the past month, there has been hockey on TV pretty much every night.

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Often there have been multiple games, extending hockey into the wee hours of the night for us in Ontario. But that has come to an end.

They say it takes 21 days to form a habit, so in the past month, I’ve been in the habit of watching hockey each night.

It didn’t matter if I had a meeting or activity after dinner, when I got home there was always the action, cheers, commentary, and, of course, my red light broadcasting throughout the house that another goal had been scored.

It was comforting; I knew what I would be doing and Lily would know where to find me. I didn’t have to choose between several options or projects when I was home. I was focussed, single-minded. It was a good thing.

… Well, I guess it wasn’t all good. There were some downsides like not being able to follow the conversation Lily was trying to have with me. I found it difficult to look her in the eyes while she was talking when the play-by-play guy was describing how a player just rang one off the post.

All winter I have reserved Saturday night to have a can of Dr. Pepper. It’s pretty much the only time I will drink it. However, with hockey on every night, I had to daily remind myself that it was not Saturday or I’d have been going through a case of pop every week!

But all that has come to an end. I don’t know what to do with myself now, because we are down to only four teams and the games are spread out. I had to watch a repeat of the Canada versus Belarus game the other night and I already knew Canada won 9-0!

I’m finding there is great pressure for me to move away from the TV and find something more productive to do. I keep hearing suggestions and hints of things that could be attended to around the house.

My problem is I don’t have my ready-made excuses to not get at these things. It’s one thing to say, “Sure Lil, I’ll put out the garbage right at the end of the period . . . after Coach’s Corner.”

It doesn’t work any more to say, “Could you repeat that? I didn’t quite hear you” four or five times. Lil knows I’m scamming her.

You see, I just made a habit and now I already have to break it … and that’s why I feel lost right now. My routine is being interrupted; my time must be filled with new things.

I think I just need to be weened off of hockey over a few weeks. And that’s good because the semi’s are on and by the time the Stanley Cup series is done, I think I will be ready to fully embrace golf and mountain biking . . . until hockey starts again in the fall.

Here’s the thing: When a season of life changes or your schedule changes for that matter, it can throw you off from your time spent with God alone. Use these times to refresh your approach to your time with God. Change it up a little. Try to incorporate something that will challenge you and increase your interest and desire to meet with Him.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What disruptions to your routine cause you to feel out-of-sorts? Leave your comment below.

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What’s Truly Amazing About Grace 

This is an edited re-post of a blog I published on May 26, 2012. Enjoy.

Let me give you a little insight into my world. Grace is big in a pastor’s life. Most people think pastors are official grace givers at any event.

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At dinner, about 98 percent of the time (a made up stat), people will look to the pastor to say grace.

At wedding receptions, banquets, barbecues, family gatherings, dinner out with friends, anywhere food is being served, probably the pastor will be asked to say grace.

Sometimes I can see the whole thing unfold.

Just before the meal the host will scan the room.  At this point, I can read their mind: they’re thinking, “Whom can I get to say grace?”

Then they spot me, their eyes get big, the expression on their face changes from concern to relief, a smile appears, and then the head nod that says, “ah yes, the pastor. Why didn’t I think of him before?” Then they make a b-line to me.

Actually, I count it an honour to say grace in public.  A few years ago my old high school celebrated its 50th anniversary (not that I was in high school 50 years ago).

I received a phone call asking if I was planning on attending, and if so, would I say grace at the gala dinner banquet.

Based on their knowledge of me in high school, they would never have asked me, but now that I’m a pastor, saying the grace was a perfect job for me.

There are some people who think the pastor has a corner on grace and not just saying it.  I’ve had many people ask me to put in a good word for them with the “Big Guy”.

There have been times where people have made a comment like, “well, you know, he has God on his side.” I could go on, but you get the idea: people think pastors are grace sayers and grace receivers.

One day after I’d had a heart attack a few years back a neighbour said to me, “You having a heart attack? You have to wonder about that.”

He said it as if he didn’t think bad things happened to pastors, or he was questioning what I did to get God mad at me, like maybe I didn’t have God’s grace on my life.

That bothered me because usually people see pastors as being on the good side of grace. I wanted to say, “Wait a minute!  The fact that I’m still here, standing and breathing is a sign I’m on the good side of grace.”

Grace is an amazing thing. It can be spoken as a thanks to God, it can be used as a name (I have a niece named Grace).  It can be given, as undeserved favour, and it can be withheld as punishment. Grace is pretty versatile.

Here’s the thing: The real amazing thing about grace is that we are ALL on the good side of it.  God sent Jesus, His only son, to us as an instrument of grace.  What we need to do is make sure we have received God’s grace by believing in Jesus and claiming him as Lord … and then, live out our days serving Him, knowing that nothing we have done, said, thought or contributed has any merit towards us being recipients of God’s grace. It is God’s unmerited favour on us.  That is truly amazing!

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What ways do you see the grace of God showing up in your life?  Leave a comment below.