my day

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The World Just Got Small . . . er

 

They say the world’s a small place, that there’s not a lot of separation between all of us on this planet. I experienced this the other day.

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I now have under three hundred connections through “Linkedin” but they say that my network is over 5 million professionals. I’m not sure what that means or how that works, but just the other day I saw it in action.

Have you ever had a random encounter? I was once on a beach on Lake Huron (Sauble Beach), late in the afternoon when the normally packed beach had thinned out.

Sauntering up the beach towards us was a man who looked vaguely familiar. It turned out to be “The Great One’s” dad – that’s Wayne Gretzky’s dad, Walter, for those who don’t know hockey.

He stopped, and we chatted hockey in the middle of July on a hot, sunny day, on a beach half way up the coast of the third largest Great Lake.

But that’s nothing! I’m on my way to single-handedly prove the theory of “Six degrees of separation” to be true. The theory states that everyone is just six steps or fewer away from any other person in the world. And this is how it works …

I was out shovelling the other day with my wife. We stopped to talk to our next door neighbour at the bottom of our driveway.

Meanwhile, there was a man playing in the snow with his children, in this same neighbour’s yard, and I noted to myself that there was something familiar about him.

As we continued to talk with our neighbour, another woman came along. She and her family were staying with our neighbour for the weekend.

In our conversation, my wife, Lily, asked the visitor where she was from and she replied, “Toronto”.  Now Toronto is a big place – over 6 million people live in the GTA.

It’s not the kind of place you say, “Oh, I know someone from there. Do you know my cousin Vinny?” That’s ridiculous.

But Lily did ask another question, “What part of Toronto are you from?”  And the reply came “Etobicoke”.  That’s when I – a born and raised “Trontonian” – got into the conversation.

I casually said that I grew up in Etobicoke, more specifically Rexdale. At that a smile came over this woman’s face and she said, “We’re from Rexdale! What street did you live on?”

I was sure our game would end here. I said it was just a little, tiny dead end keyhole street …Restever Gate. Hearing that name, her eyes got really big and jumped out of her sockets about three inches before they snapped back into place.

When I saw her reaction, in a flash it all came back to me. I twirled around, pointed at the man in my neighbour’s front yard and shouted the man’s last name.

This guy grew up on the same street I did, just two doors down! Though I’m a lot older than he, I remember him as the little guy my brother and I would have fun conversations with at the end of our driveway.

Now he’s 45, and I haven’t seen him in about 38 years. We had a great chat and I can’t stop thinking about that encounter.

Here’s the thing: If you think that’s as wild a connection as I do, try this one:  you are only a prayer away from the Creator of the world, AND you can talk to Him every single day and He can be with you every moment of every day.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What amazing encounter have you had? Leave your comment below.

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Our Expressions Don’t Lie

Our expressions reveal our emotions and, without a mirror in front of us to monitor our expressions, sometimes our emotions leak out for others to see.

Richard Sherman expressions.001Mind you, some people are better at keeping their expressions in check that others. We call those people “tough to read”; it’s difficult to know what they are feeling or thinking.

I’m not that particularly difficult to read apparently, at least according to my wife. I can sit down with a plate of food in front of me and within a millisecond she knows what I think of dinner.

I don’t have to poke the meat with my finger or even pick up a fork – the look on my face tells her everything (eww, it’s stew).

I would probably make a pretty lousy poker player; everyone would know if my hand was good or bad.

I’ve even seen professional poker players on TV hide their expressions with sunglasses or hats shielding their faces.

The other day watching the Super Bowl, there were some pretty good emotions. Camera men are particularly good at zeroing in on faces when something in the game goes bad or good.

Early into the second half, after Seattle had scored to take the lead for the first time in the game, the look on the Seahawks’ coach’s face was, “I think we have this game”. He looked pretty confident.

His face didn’t show the same easy smile later in the game, however, when in the last 3 minutes the momentum of the game was moving up and down like a roller coaster at Canada’s Wonderland.

When New England scored and there was still three minutes left in the game, the Patriots’ quarterback sat on the bench and couldn’t look up. There was too much on the line.

Seattle started moving the ball. Then a long pass, that at first looked incomplete, turned out to be a reception as the receiver bobbled the ball a few times and grabbed it while falling on his back on the 5 yard line.

Wow, the looks on both benches was telling. Only a minute to go in the game, Tom Brady (New England’s QB) had a look of, “No way! You’ve got to be joking!”

… One play later, the ball is on the one yard line. It is a guaranteed touchdown for Seattle. The game is over; there is no hope for New England. But Seattle decides to pass the ball and throws an interception.

The emotions go wild again. Brady is now jumping up and down on the sideline with his hands raised. The coach raises his arm in the air signalling victory.

Over on the Seattle sideline the emotions are prolific. One player will have his mug in the news for days as his facial expressions went from joy to sheer horror in a matter of seconds.

… The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.

Here’s the thing: As poor a job as we do hiding our emotions for others to see, it is impossible to hide our emotions from God. He sees everything; He knows our emotionally-charged roller coaster life. So instead of dropping the visor of your hat to cover your expressions when you pray, simply tell Him what you are feeling and thinking. He wants to hear, and He can help.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: When do you have a hard time keeping your expressions in check? Leave your comment blow.

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If It Gets In My Head, I Can’t Let It Go

Have you ever got something in your head and couldn’t let it go? Songs can get in your head and it’s near impossible to erase them from that ram chip in your skull.

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And it doesn’t take much to get it in there. You hear a song on the radio and it sticks with you all day long.

You might not even like the song, but there you are in a meeting with your superiors and, just as you boss asks you an important question, you have “All About That Bass” by Meghan Trainor taking up valuable real-estate upstairs.

While you’re trying to think, you’re tapping your pen on the table and under your breath you’re humming “da da da da da”.

You just can’t shake that thought in your head. You’d like to record over it with something useful but it seems that for an undetermined amount of time that thought, that song is going to stick around.

I felt that way this week as I was writing my sermon. I got to near the end and I was in need of a closing illustration.

I thought of a story to use, but the story has been told many times. As I researched it, I discovered that the story has a couple of variations and it’s not even true!

It’s too bad, because it’s a great story of a boy at a concert who slips on stage when no one is watching and starts playing chopsticks on the piano. The audience starts grumbling, but the maestro hears the boy and comes out. He tells the boy to keep playing while he plays around him making beautiful music.

Yes, I know, you’ve heard that story. And yes, I know, you didn’t know it wasn’t true.

The problem was I couldn’t get that story out of my head! It seemed like the right illustration for me. I didn’t want to use it; I didn’t feel I could use it, but I couldn’t get it off my mind.

Every time I tried to think of something else, that story kept replaying for me like it was on a loop track just behind my eye sockets.

I scanned the internet for stories like it and found none. I looked in books where I’ve found some good stories in the past – again nothing. Just that one story.

It was perfect, but I couldn’t use it.

I got sidetracked but the story came back. Time was ticking by. It was evening; my eyes got heavy. I think I dreamed about that story and I was the boy.

And then I came to, and a memory awakened in me.

It was a real-life instance, a modern day parallel to that story. I had seen it on TV about thirteen years ago and somehow my brain found and loaded that story into my jukebox mind for me to play. Press E-10.

Here’s the thing: What we put in our mind stays there, and it will be recalled as needed at random times in the future. So we need to be sure we are storing God’s truth in those minds of ours. For just when we need a verse to encourage or help us, it can drop right into the forefront of our thinking. God’s truth might un-expectantly pop into our minds, and stay with us for the day … and that’s so much better than, “You know I’m all about that bass, no treble.”

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has gotten into your mind lately that you can’t kick out? Leave your comments below.

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A Winter Vacation Would Be Nice

It’s just past the middle of January and you know what that means, don’t you? It’s time to take that vacation to some place warm, with water and beachfront right out your window.

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No, that’s only for the few and fortunate! For the rest of us, mid January signals time for the winter blahs.

The best some of us can do, in the words of the song by Smash Mouth, is take a “Holiday in my Head”. We can only dream of taking off, leaving work and responsibilities behind, for some carefree recreation and rest.

Many of us get out of bed in the mornings in the middle of January and have an overwhelming sense of overload … and dread.

You’ve got too much work to do, and dread that your goals and plans for the year are not going to be reached. You even feel like throwing in the towel and giving up, like there’s a looming catastrophe just around the corner.

Is that how you feel right now? You didn’t get in this place all of a sudden, even though it seems like one day you just woke up and, BAM!, all life is crashing around you.

No, it happens slowly and over time. You miss a deadline; you schedule it but don’t get it done. So you push that work off to the next day or the next, and soon it becomes critical.

That same sequence of events happens over and over with other things in your life, your goals your plans, your commitments, demands and requests from others.

And every day the build-up goes unnoticed until one day you wake up and it all seems like it’s crashing down on you, like a waterfall cascading over the rocks, thundering to the pool of water below.

You’re standing in that pool of water with that waterfall beating down on you. It seems hopeless to get out of it and it’s pounding you down.

It’s only mid January! You have the whole year still ahead of you, but all you can think about is that the whole year is a bust. You’ve blown it, or circumstances have made it impossible for you to have a profitable year.

What do you do when you are in that place? How do you get out from under such an intense feeling of utter defeat?

Well, there are a couple of things you can do when you feel that way. First, you can just forget about some of those things; they may not be as important as you made them out to be.

Second, write everything down, so you can see them all together. When your work and demands are just swirling around in your head, it seems like more than it really is. Seeing all your tasks before you gives you perspective.

Then focus on one thing at a time. Complete it and move on to the next, not thinking of all you have to do, but just the one thing that’s next.

Here’s the thing: To even get to the place where you are able to write everything down and then work on one thing, first turn to God and ask Him for help. Seek His guidance and wisdom to get out from under the downpour. Request His protection to stand over you so that the water beats on Him and you just experience the spray. Then you will find the calm, the presence of mind to do what you have to do.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has got you overwhelmed at this time?  Leave your comment below.

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I’m Not A Games Person

We have a cupboard in our family room that’s brimming with games, but my family is not a games family. We’ve tried to be a games family over the years …

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When our kids were little we played games. Everyone was happy when playing … except one family member if he wasn’t winning.

It never went well when that scenario was in play.

Every family has one person who has a tough time losing, or, in this day and age, we should probably say “underwhelming in his game potential”.

Well, we might not say that, but we have to use some term to avoid, not point out, or shed any light on the fact that someone lost. We wouldn’t want anyone to think that they didn’t win.

We’re not a games family because we only have one games person in the family and it’s Lily.

Lily is up for any kind of game: board games, tile games, activity games, even puzzles. Puzzles are her favourite. And puzzles are probably the least loved activity by the rest of the family.

She builds them alone.

So when we have company over, Lily usually suggests we play a game. Often I can talk her out of it. But the last time we had guests over she really pressed for us to play a game and, going against my better judgement, I conceded to her wishes.

It was like I lost the game of trying to get out of playing a game. So I knew that things would not go well.

We had several guests so we played an activity game – a game where you act out words for you team, and they have to guess what you are acting out. The game is called “Guesstures”.

Somehow the non-gamer got to bring the game out and set it up. At that point, I think Lil was just rubbing it in that she won and I … well, I don’t even want to say the word but I’ll tell you I sensed I had a large “L” on my forehead.

So we played, and it was the girls against the guys, which in my thinking sets up the girls to win in this kind of game. Women are more expressive and freer in their body movement than most men which gives them a decided advantage.

We are just not that flexible or demonstrative.

So we played the game and to my great surprise the guys were holding their own through the first three rounds. Then it was my turn.

With all the pressure on me, and feelings just below the surface of “I really don’t like playing these games”, I played to my underwhelmed potential. I got one point out of a possible 12.

Oh ya, that game isn’t coming out again for a long time!

The next few rounds went not too badly for the guys. They had to dig us out of the hole I got us into. In the end we pulled it off and beat the girls.

That’s right, we won. You can say you won, you just can’t say they lost. Oh, I guess I said that too. The girls lost.

Here’s the thing: When it comes to developing a relationship with God, if that’s not something you are good at, or have a hard time staying committed to, then get some help from a friend, or mentor. You’ll find that assistance can make developing a relationship with God a winning experience.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What could you use a little help in accomplishing? Leave your comment below.

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Being Firstborn Increases Your Duty

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I think my firstborn nature is keeping me from reaching one of my goals. There is something about firstborns that they are duty-bound.

They diligently follow through on something until it’s complete. We have a kind of gyroscopic equilibrium deep inside us that does not stabilize until we have done what we think is right.

Of course, what we think is right probably came from all the “no’s” we got from our parents in the first two years of life. The more “no’s” we got back then, the harder it is now to maintain that inner balance.

How this is playing out for me right now is with food and my weight goal. I hope to reach my target weight goal by the end of the month but the problem is we are over a week into the new year and I’m still trying to clean up the excesses of Christmas food.

… Not so much the turkey, more like the candy, baking, and other calorie-laden edibles.

You see, right now along with every meal, I also have to consume morsels of good cheer that are lingering in our pantry and fridge.

And yes, I said “have to” because of my firstborn nature, and the program my parents instilled in me before I was really accountable for anything.

Those Ferrero Rochers HAVE TO be eaten. Lil’s allergic to hazelnuts so I HAVE TO do them in. Then there are the liquorice allsorts and the peanut brittle, and . . . I could go on and on.

I’m not even mentioning the cookies and other baking.

Every time I open the pantry, I start to get vertigo unless I pop something in my mouth. This firstborn thing is really getting to me. I know what I need to be doing, but this thing I have about cleaning up is killing me!

With every piece of chocolate, every Christmas cookie, I sense my cholesterol on the rise. But I say to myself, “It’s just until I get rid of all this stuff.”

The problem is there’s so much of it. And because Lil’s not a firstborn, it’s all on me to do the clean up.

I know, it’s a heavy weight to bear . . . literally.

I have a choice to make. I either gorge myself and get rid of it all quickly (and in the process gain about 10 more pounds), or I slowly kill myself by eating just bits every day.

I think my second choice would take until March which is way past my target weight date. But the other prospect will have me living on my new rowing machine for hours every day to work off the poundage I’ll be putting on.

I just wish my parents hadn’t said “no” so often when I was a child so I didn’t have to say “yes” so often now.

Well it’s morning now, and the cream I’ve been adding to the milk with my cereal is finished so I’m done with that. I will, however, need to finish off Lily’s caramel corn later today.  Man, it never ends.

Here’s the thing: There are a lot of things that we might feel bound to – one of those things should be our spiritual growth. We should have a feeling deep inside that things are not quite right unless we are growing spiritually. We should feel like we are out of sorts unless we take care of our spiritual needs. Stay stabilized and commit to your spiritual growth this year.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you plan to grow spiritually this year? Leave your comment below.

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Settle Into A New Year

I think I’ve settled into the new year now. The Christmas tree is still up and we still put the lights on, but it’s become a background decoration and not the main focal point in the room.

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The first couple of days of a new year are still very much holiday-like. There’s the aftermath of New Year’s, like football and parades on TV, catching up on sleep.

Even work was still in holiday mode: all was quiet, no programs, just me focussing on what I needed to do to get ready for Sunday.

But that’s all done now – it’s January 3rd and today I feel like it’s just a regular day.

We still have some baking that I will polish off in the next week. And the fridge is still pretty full with lots of extra Christmassy foods. There’s even some eggnog in there that needs to be knocked back before it goes bad.

… They’re all just remnants now. A week ago they were part of the festivities, part of the charm of the season. But now they’re nothing more than the aftermath, a duty to be completed to seal the end of it all.

Two weeks ago there was still lots to look forward to; we were entering a time of family, friends, and fun. Now we just have the start of a new week to look forward to.

There will be some great highlights this year to anticipate and get excited about, but right now it’s all about getting settled in a brand new year after a busy time of life.

How I settle in is with some routines. As great as holidays and Christmas are, they get you out of your regular routine and, though that idea has some sparkle, it’s a little disruptive to the regular flow of life.

I’ve missed my 6:00 am alarm several times in the last couple of weeks. I like getting up at that time; it’s quiet, it’s peaceful … I’m quiet and peaceful.

At that time of the morning I don’t have a million things to do. I don’t have a bunch of requests for my time, my presence. I like that about answering my alarm.

I remember when I first discovered the joy of the early morning. Back . . . well, let’s just say a long time ago, I would sleep till noon if I didn’t have something pressing me to get up.

Though I would sleep that long, I didn’t feel all that rested, and I would get this sinking feeling that a good chunk of the day was over, that I missed out on something.

I didn’t start getting up at six right then, but that was the start of finding a great part of the day that I had never before considered valuable.

Now it’s my routine every day, to answer my alarm at 6:00 and begin my day quiet, calm and peaceful. You should try it if you don’t already.

Here’s the thing: That first part of the day when it is all quiet in your home and in your own being is a great time to connect with God. For some people, it might require a cup of coffee or two just to clear your mind, but there’s no better time to spend with God than in the most peaceful time of the day. Find a comfortable chair, set the light just right and give those first thoughts of the day to God. You’ll love that routine, and so will God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What is your favourite routine? Leave your comment below.

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New Year’s Eve Plans

Wow, the end of another year! It came up quickly and we had no plans as usual.

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Well, I guess we did have plans; they were the same plans we have most years on New Year’s Eve: we hang out, snack a little, and watch some New Year’s Eve countdown show on TV.

That’s pretty much it. There have been a few years where we’ve varied our pattern but this is the regular “no plan” plan for the end of the year.

But I was leaning away from that plan this year, and it was all because of a TV advertisement for a New Year’s Eve show this year.

I saw an ad for this year’s New Year’s Eve show on ABC called, “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve”.

The problem with this show is that Dick Clark is no longer with us. In fact, he’s been gone for over two years now. What kind of a New Year’s show is it when the host of the show is not really ringing in the new year with you?

How great a new year can it be if the host isn’t joining you in the celebration?

There is just something wrong about it, that almost says there’s nothing worth looking forward to in the new year.

Maybe the executives at ABC are getting older and don’t have the same optimism as they used to, so why not have a deceased person’s name on the advertising? Nothing spells excitement like that!

I had in mind we should change things up this year. It was kind of late to be making plans with only three days to the big day, but I thought we needed to make the night a little more interesting and add a little hope to the evening.

The problem with putting more effort into NYE is that it happens so often that you blink and it’s here again. And you start to think, “Didn’t we just have New Year’s not that long ago?”

That’s what age does though; it speeds up time for you. A year for someone in their 50’s is like a year and a half for someone in their 20’s.

When you’re in your 20’s you can barely remember the last new year’s, and so it’s a big deal every time it comes around.

But when you get a little older, you feel like you just booked your dinner reservations for last December 31, and now you have to do it again already.

When you’re young, a new year offers all kinds of new opportunities and hopes, but when you’re older you just hope things will hold their own in the new year and there won’t be any surprises.

When you think of it, New Year’s Eve is really for the young, or the young at heart.

After some thought, we changed up our plans and went out … but still made it home in time to watch “Dick Clark’s postmortem New Year’s Rockin’ Eve.”

Here’s the thing: If the sound of giving in to getting older doesn’t seem all that good to you, then fight to stay young at heart. Get out of your rut and breathe some hope and excitement into your routines like New Year’s Eve. And while you’re at it, take a look at your relationship with God – have you gotten safe, comfortable, boring with God? Look at this new year as an opportunity to enhance your relationship with God. Consider how you can engage with God in more hope and opportunity.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What did you do on New Year’s Eve this year? Leave your comments below.

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We Started A New Tradition … Maybe

We all have Christmas traditions. We look forward to them; they bring out the warmth of the season.

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When we lived in Edmonton we had a tradition on Christmas Eve of going out for dinner after our Christmas Eve service. We would go to the Chateau Lacombe Hotel.

It had a revolving restaurant which overlooked the river valley in Edmonton. It was high enough to give a great view of the whole city, especially at night during the Christmas season – the sight was spectacular with all the lights!

Lily and I would always get Chateaubriand for two. It was perfect with live music and a constantly changing panoramic view out the window.

That was our Christmas tradition … well, it was until we moved to Kingston.

Kingston doesn’t have a hotel with a revolving restaurant. In fact, it doesn’t have a restaurant that is open on Christmas Eve, period.

We needed a new tradition for Christmas Eve and that is when we started having a fondue after our Christmas Eve service.

We had some memorable family times together around the table, cooking up big screwers of meat in oil that was at the point of spontaneous combustion.

There was the time that Lily set the table on fire – that was awesome and memorable! … You then keep the tradition just to see if that will happen again!

Fond memories. But like many traditions, that tradition came to an end. Karlie was not able to be with us for the first time this Christmas Eve. She was not able to arrive until about midnight, just shortly before Santa Claus was about to do the present thing and get to bed him and herself.

We needed a new tradition. It would be just Lil, our son Mike and me. We were going to be up waiting for Karlie; we needed something to do.

So I got the bright idea that we should all make our favourite cookies together and have some hot wings to nibble on while we did it.

Everyone was willing to give it a shot (and Karlie wished she had been here to see the whole event).

Lily had laid out bowls and ingredients for each type of cookie Mike and I were going to make. Then she did what she does best.

She hovered, and would say things like, “No, don’t do that. No, that’s not how you do it” …  we had to send her out of the room.

That didn’t stop her from calling instructions from another room like “No, don’t mix that in yet”.

But somehow, through all the distraction, all the mess and debris that kept being flung out of the mixing bowls, we created two kinds of masterly-crafted cookies that melted succulently in our mouths.

The wings weren’t bad either. Lil really chipped in with the clean up, partly because she couldn’t handle the mess we had generated.

Who knows? Maybe it will become a tradition … or maybe not if Lily has her way.

Here’s the thing: Routines can be like traditions and when it comes to making time for God each day, having great traditions or routines make that time more memorable. They make that time something you look forward to. So as you plan how you will spend your time with God in the new year, think of some traditions or routines you can set in place. You will be amazed at the memories you will make with God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What is your favourite Christmas tradition?

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It’s All About What We Believe

In my last post, I wrote about setting goals for the new year (click hear to read). In this one, I am going to share a secret that helps me do that. In my next post, I’ll share another secret.

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Normally goal setting starts with dreaming of all the things you might want to accomplish. You brainstorm a million ideas, then select the best ones.

But I didn’t start there – I started in a place I had no desire to go.

I began with evaluating my limits … to be more precise, my limiting beliefs. And that’s very different from my limits.

I’m limited by a lot of things. I could blame my parents that I’m not six feet tall or have the mind of a rocket scientist. But that’s just genetics. I can’t do anything about that.

Everyone has limits.

But limiting beliefs, that’s a different matter. They are not really limits; they’re just a bar we set for ourselves that we don’t think we can get over.

The problem with those limiting beliefs is that we live up to them all the time … or should I say, we live under them every time.

What’s worse is they aren’t necessarily true; we just believe them to be true (limiting beliefs like, “I can’t do that”, “I’m a failure”, “No one cares”).

When it comes to goal setting, they keep us from accomplishing the goals we want to reach.

In the past, my limiting beliefs have been the mastermind behind me sabotaging my own goals.

They come from stories I’ve created based on my past experiences. Still, I believe the stories and live them out time and time again.

These limiting beliefs are ingrained in us and you can only change them by replacing them with new stories – a new story that overwrites the old one.

That’s not easy to do.

But this week as I was listing my limiting beliefs, I found a key to begin the process of overwriting those limiting beliefs.

It starts with a truth. Then you have to trust the truth enough to experience that truth in your life and thus write a new story.

It sounds simple but it takes some work.

For me, two truths from the Bible that I read right after I wrote my limiting beliefs will help me write some new stories.

1 John 5:14-15 says, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.” (NIV84)

We can ask God to help us overcome our limiting beliefs. He will hear us and answer.

Then Ephesians 3:20 says “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,”(NIV84)

Now that’s powerful! Whatever you believe about yourself – whatever I have come to believe about myself – God is at work within us and can do more than we can even imagine.

The first step is to believe these truths, and then go out and experience the reality of them. If you do, you’ll replace that old story, with a new one.

Here’s the thing: If you want to grow deeper with God, if you want to see God work in your life, then address those limiting beliefs by believing and experiencing these truths from God’s words. Then write a new story through experience.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: Do you have limiting beliefs that hold you back from all God wants for you? Leave your comment below.