my day

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Our New Project

We just started a new home project at our house. You wouldn’t really notice much if you came over. There’s no design consultants or construction workers around.

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There’s not even any building materials laying around that might tip you off.

The only hint that we’ve begun a new project is our bedroom closet has no doors as of two days ago.

I took a bit of a risk taking the doors off the closet; there is a chance our clothes will be exposed to the room for months. But it was a calculated risk that I was willing to make.

Several weeks ago, Lily and I got the idea while roaming through an Ikea store. We saw some closet organizers that looked amazing. That got me going on a bit of a long-standing tirade about closets and bifold doors.

First of all, it really bugs me that builders construct the opening of a closet about two feet narrower than the actual closet width. That means you have to blindly reach into the corners to get at the clothes that are out of sight, beyond the opening.

To make matters worse, builders then put bi-fold doors on those closets, narrowing the opening again by another foot. Now you’re about two feet way from the farthest piece in your closet.

Frankly, I can’t remember what is back there because I haven’t seen it in about 10 years! There may be pants or a shirt from the eighties for all I know. I can barely reach that far past the closet doors to grab at it.

My beef is if your closet is 100 inches wide, why not make the opening the same width?

So now we’re going to do something about this. We are going to make our closet opening wider and we’re going to put sliding doors on the closet instead of those blasted bi-folds.

We checked out a local hardware store that can order some custom-made sliding doors that Lily likes. We know what doors we like … we just haven’t ordered them yet.

Since even a great idea won’t happen unless you do something, I decided that this project will become something of a dream – or nightmare – unless we take some action. So I took the doors off the closet.

Our bedroom looks like it is in an unfinished state and that’s exactly the look I’m going for right now. It’s one little step to spur us on to the next little step. And all those little moves we make will get us to complete this project.

The key to doing anything is to start. It doesn’t have to be a big start, but – talk all you want, plan till you’re old – it’s not going to materialize unless you make a move.

Here’s the thing: If you’re a seeker with questions about God, you’ll always be a seeker unless you take a step towards getting answers to your questions. If you’re a believer and are unsatisfied with your walk with Christ right now, you will remain frustrated until you make a move to walk closer to God. If you’re serving and don’t feel you’re making a difference, you’ll continue to be discouraged without trying a new ministry opportunity. It only takes one small action to get you moving in a direction that can lead to completion.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you been frustrated with that needs to become a project? Leave your comment below.

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How To Secure Perks In Life

When we sign up for things, we often take note of the perks that go along with them. It might be the key to the staff room, or a special parking spot – maybe even one with your name on it.

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Other perks might be a membership to an exclusive club, or an expense account, or a company car.  Perks are nice; they are those little somethings that make you feel special, important or valued.

But when you sign up for being a dad, you don’t think of the perks you get with that. In fact, when you start out, you don’t even think there are any perks.

There are the 2 am marathons of walking around the family room trying to soothe your little one back to sleep. There are the diapers to be changed, feedings, and the constant questions that never end.

We worry about them, spend money on them, give advice to them, give up our free time for them … do more worrying about them, coax them to spend time with us, more money, more worry, more money.

By the time your kids are in their mid-twenties, there’s been a lot of money and worry that’s gone into them. Perks? They’re not high on the list.

But the other day I got a perk. My kids, Karlie and Mike, took me to a Blue Jays game! It was their birthday present to me. They bought the tickets, and bought me a T-shirt so I would match them in their Blue Jay attire.

This was a far cry from the hockey mini stick Mike made for me years ago (autographed by him). And it’s more than the little cardboard box with stickers Karlie made forever ago for me to put my receipts in. (I still have both of those presents, by the way.)

This wasn’t even something Lily bought for me and they just put their names on it. No, this was something they thought up, something they knew I would like, and something they made arrangements for on their own.

This was a genuine perk. We took in a meal at “Real Sports” just outside the Air Canada Centre, and I got to hang out with my two kids who live in two different cities now.

There was excitement: Mike and I caught up to and beat our Go Train to get on it two stops later, with mere seconds to spare. Karlie had to tell a guy to go away on the subway after he wouldn’t leave her side.

Oh, and there was another perk that day: The Jays walk off win in the 10th inning on an exciting play at the plate!

I never thought of perks when I became a dad. But now it seems like there are some perks, and I have a good feeling there will be more to come.

Here’s the thing: When you sign up with Christ for forgiveness and a relationship with Him, you don’t think of perks along the way. But when you start to take the focus off yourself, your problems and frustrations, and instead concentrate on loving Christ and seeking His will each day, what you find is, He helps you with things you’re not prepared for or equipped to handle. And those are perks you can look forward to every day.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What’s the last perk you received from your kids?  You can leave your comment below.

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How To Ensure Your Direction Is Right

Usually, I feel that it’s other drivers who prevent me from getting to my destination. But yesterday it seemed there was a whole conspiracy at work that had nothing to do with other drivers.

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It was more like a government conspiracy, I’m sure. It could have been something like Orwell’s “Big Brother” is watching, or a group that my dad would always rage about, “the Bilderbergs”.

Now I don’t want to begin another fearmongering rumour, but there was definitely something going on that was a little like the Twilight Zone show . . .

I was coming home from my annual planning week up at my cottage. The trip had been pretty painless coming into Toronto, when suddenly the traffic started to get heavy and then slowed down to a crawl.

I thought I was in rush hour traffic, but it was Friday night at about 9 pm – it should have been clear sailing!

As I inched my way to a connector highway (which, by the way, would take me the rest of the way home), without warning – no sign, no detour route, nothing – it was closed.

I had to go west, in the opposite direction of my home. I had planned on a 2 1/2 hour drive home from there, but that wasn’t going to happen now.

What made it worse was that there was a road worker who looked like he’d just finished putting the pylons out to block my way.

That wasn’t going to stop me. The next exit was a familiar one and I knew I could get off and back on heading east to go home. I took it and thought, “This is not going to cost me much time at all.”

As I crossed over the highway to get going east, I noticed a road crew guy putting out pylons on that ramp as well. I couldn’t believe it! How did they think people were to get home?

I needed to go east, but instead I was forced to go west, and now I was going south! I got on an eastbound street as soon as I could and then came to a route that would take me back up to my homeward-bound highway.

But as I made my way towards the ramp, it was closed too and I was forced to continue north, past the highway I wanted, and basically coerced into taking a toll highway east towards home.

(If you’re feeling a little hypnotized right about now, you can imagine how I felt!) It was right about then that it dawned on me: They are trying to funnel us all onto the pay-as-you-drive highway to get a cash infusion towards their conspiracy plans!

I never saw that road crew guy again, but I’m sure he’s taken some blood oath of some kind to belong to some dark, unknown, secret society of asphalt workers somewhere.

Here’s the thing: We can be led by circumstance, friends, cravings and opportunities to go in directions we never intended to go in. It’s not like we started out with the thought of going there or doing that, it’s just one turn led to another and, “Oh look where I am now!” The only way we can protect ourselves from that happening is to monitor our direction with God. Let God navigate your direction, and, if you get lost or off course, check in with Him to get you back on the right road.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has been your worst road closure experience? You can leave your comment below.

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Why Anniversaries Are Special

Special days and anniversaries often come and go without giving them too much thought. There are, however, certain special days that are more special than others.

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Though every birthday is special, when someone turns 16 that’s extra special because they can obtain a driver’s license. At eighteen you are considered an adult and get to vote, so that’s special. Depending where you live, 19 or 21 is a special day for dubious reasons.

It seems that span of about five years is littered with extra special days. But after that, the special days like birthdays and anniversaries seem to come in 10 year periods like 30, 40, 50, et cetera.

Some people look forward to these special days; others pretend they didn’t happen.

It’s more likely that someone will want to hide the fact they have reached an age milestone, while being quite proud of reaching an anniversary achievement.

Yesterday I celebrated my 29th wedding anniversary with my wife, Lily. Twenty-nine is not one of those special anniversary dates – 30 is a big deal but 29 is just a run-of-the-mill anniversary.

It doesn’t even have a name or gift associated with it. I figured the gift for the 29th anniversary would be brunch at “Milestones” the restaurant.

It had to be something like that because I have to save up for next year’s anniversary which is “pearl”.

I had a great aunt named “Pearl” and it would’ve been nice to bring her over for tea or something on our 30th … she would be about 115 now. Auntie Pearl passed away 20 years ago so I can’t use her as my “pearl” gift to Lily on our 30th.

It’s a good thing I have a year to figure it out.

But getting back to this no-name 29th anniversary of ours. Though on the surface it doesn’t seem hardly worth getting a card to even acknowledge the day, it is in fact a very special anniversary to me.

On this day I have now been married for exactly half my life – the most recent half, I might add.

That’s significant. Think of all the years you grew up in your home with your family, and then all the years you hung out with friends and went to school, and the years you figured out what career you were going to go for.

Think of all the fun and hardships of the years you spend before you were married, the experiences and adventures, all the people, all the laughter, tears, worry.

Well, all of that, I’ve done all over again with Lily. It’s like I’ve lived life twice, once single and now a second time married.

So you see, my 29th anniversary is a special day. It should be called something, even at the very least, the “corrugated paper” anniversary.

Hey, that’s a great idea! I could get Lily a box, and I could fill the box with hope … hope that next year she’ll get a pearl on her anniversary.

Here’s the thing: Have you ever compared your life before Christ to the time you’ve spent with Him? The experiences, the adventures, the joys, laughter, tears and worry? Have you ever considered just how significant your life with Christ has been so far compared to your life before you knew Him? Take some time to reflect on that, and praise God for your relationship with Him.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has been a particularly special date or memory you have had with Christ?  Leave your comment below.

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Why Having the Right Equipment is Necessary

Having the right equipment for a task makes it much more enjoyable. Having the wrong equipment or substandard equipment makes that task a hardship, even dangerous.

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This past week, seventy plus cyclists arrived at our church to stay overnight. They didn’t just drop by; it had been arranged for them to stop here.

I’ve been a mountain biker for some time, and I’ve been to events where I’ve seen all kinds of shapes and sizes of bikers. Some of them look like they ride their bikes all the time, while others, well, if you didn’t see them with their bikes, you wouldn’t think that they ever rode one!

This group was no different; there was a wide variety of people on this ride. But what did surprise me was the different shapes and sizes of the bicycles they were riding.

Some of the bikes were clearly road bikes made to ride long distances. But there were many bikes that I wouldn’t take farther than to the nearest convenience store and back!

A few bikes looked like they needed to be traded in for real ones, let alone be allowed to leave a city on a tour. I was impressed and humbled that some of those riding and raising money for the “Love in Motion” tour were doing it with great hardship.

The morning they left our church, one rider mentioned that her bike wouldn’t shift properly. I decided I would try it out, so I rode it around the parking lot … I wouldn’t take that bike on a two hour ride – certainly not a week-long trip or across the country!

Her shifters needed to be tuned, her handlebar grips needed replacing, and a brake pad was rubbing so badly that it was like she was riding with her front brake on all the time.

Fortunately, we were somewhat able to help her out before she left for the next leg of the journey.

These riders seemed to be oblivious to the fact that their equipment was less than ideal for the type of cycling they were doing. They just saddled up in the morning and got going again.

But I had watched them come in the day before, after a 167 kilometre ride from Cobourg to Kingston. The toll on the body, and even the mental state, was far greater on those with substandard bikes.

They were doing it. They were making it (which I thought was amazing), but it was a real hardship for them. I wondered what a difference a proper bike would make for some of these riders.

Here’s the thing:  We can get through life on our own. We can get by with just a minimum of faith in God. But at what cost will we make it through? … We will miss the fullness of what God has for us in this life. We will deal with hardships on our own that will create wounds and bitterness that will burden us the rest of the way. We will carry regrets and guilt with us that will rub against us and all those we come in contact with. Oh, we can get through life on our own; we can say we did it. But at what cost to us? Better that we submit our lives to God, walk in His ways and in His will, and be properly equipped to face the elements along the journey.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you attempted with wrong or inadequate equipment? How did it turn out?  You can leave your comment below.

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How To Live Simultaneously In Awe & Frustration

Can something be good and bad at the same time? Can you be completely frustrated and awed in the same breath? Is it okay to clench your fists in rage while gazing at something beautiful?

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Not only do I think the answer to these questions is “yes”, I know it’s “yes” because I just experienced it on the weekend.

As crazy as it sounds, it’s true.

It’s almost like that trick you do with a toddler or a baby: you distract them with something else and they stop crying. You know the child is crying because he scraped his knee, but you say “Oh look, a balloon!” The child’s attention is drawn to the balloon, he stops crying, and life is good again.

It works like a charm every time.

It doesn’t work as well with adults. You can distract them with something else, but they are not going to forget the pain (whatever type) they are in.

I played golf on a beautiful course this weekend. Six holes have been fashioned after famous golf holes from around the world. The fairways were like hitting off carpet; the greens were like bowling allies.

They even had a set of bunkers called church pews – I was tempted to try them out but I stayed away.

The day was beautiful, sunny, hot, with no wind. The course was lush, green, with dramatic undulating terrain. You wanted to take a picture at every hole. In fact, some guys in my group did take pictures as we went around.

But to contrast the startling grandeur of the course was the brutal ineptitude of my play. On the practice tees I was straight and long. On the course, I missed all but one of the fairways with carpet-like feel to them.

I was looking at a picture of magnificence at every turn, but in what I was doing there was no beauty at all.

So I would line up my putt on grass that seemed like it had been cut with my razor that very morning, but when I hit the ball I had no control of when it would stop rolling. And on every hole it kept rolling and rolling and rolling.

I was amazed by the course but I wanted to hit it at the same time. In fact, there were two occasions when I swung my club really hard at the ground after another missed green, while staring at a scene that looked so inviting I could have lived there.

During my round, I couldn’t decide which emotion should win: awe at the stunning splendour of the course or my total frustration with my game.

It seemed that for the longest time the two emotions were entwined together, stuck like a vine to a trellis.

In the end, I would not have traded my experience. It was a great day, despite the play.

Here’s the thing: We can be utterly amazed at what God has done in someone’s life or ministry.  We can marvel at results that occur that clearly point to God’s hand of mercy or power. But at the same time, we can be completely frustrated by the lack of results or answers in our own life or ministry. We live here in this contrast, and to truly embrace Christ is to give glory to God while at the same time pleading out our burdens before Him.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has amazed you while frustrated you at the same time? Leave your comment below.

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How To Receive Unexpected Gifts

Sometimes you get something unexpected, something you had really wanted but didn’t think you’d get. That happened to me this week.

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One of the signs you’re a pro at the beach is how you get all your paraphernalia to it. We have about a seven minute walk to the lake so we take everything we’re going to need with us in one trip.

In the old days (that would be the days when our children were little), we had lots of stuff to carry.

There are people who park their cars at the beach, and make trips with their coolers, chairs, blankets, umbrellas etc. Then there are those who walk and take very little, like a blanket and a book.

We like to take enough to make us comfortable for a few hours. We’ve tried a few different options over the years, and finally settled on a wagon.

We loaded everything in a big wagon and hauled it down and back each time. It worked really well, except for the person who had to pull it back from the beach (up hill all the way).

However, in the last few years we haven’t really needed the wagon but we have more beach stuff than is easily carried. We needed something in-between.

What we’ve seen work well are those baby trailers you hook up to your bike. If you’re not using them for child transportation, they work great as a wee moving van.

The problem with them is they cost loads of money – enough that it is hard to justify getting one just to take your stuff down to the beach and back.

My brother’s been looking for a used one for a couple of years now. Once he thought he found one at a garage sale but it looked broken so he didn’t bother to get it.

Just minutes later someone else bought it and it actually worked fine. John’s been kicking himself ever since for not investigating it more thoroughly.

But the other week he came across one, and the owner said he could have it – for free! It was just missing one piece, which John ordered online … it was good to go in a week.

And then the other day, John came over to my place with his trailer hooked up to his bike with all his beach stuff in it. It was sitting in our driveway when the guy across the street came over.

He asked if I also wanted a trailer because his son had one they were just going to give away. I jumped at the chance!

It was in great shape, and hooked up to my bike easily. I was now a beach pro! When you ride down to the beach with your little trailer filled with your chairs, your beach umbrella, your drinks, snacks and games, people know you’re experienced . . . that you’ve been beached.

Someday, maybe – many years from now – we may even let a grandchild or two get pulled to the beach in it.

Here’s the thing:  God sometimes surprises us with good gifts we never expected to get. When He does, be quick to recognize the source of the gift, and be thankful.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you received unexpectedly that was from the hand of God? I’d like to hear from you; you can leave a comment below.

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What Kind of Waiting Do You Practice?

This morning I’m sitting on my new deck with my new “conversation set” of outdoor furniture, waiting for the sun to fully come up.

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As we were finishing our work on the deck last week, I got the vision of a sitting area where we could be comfortable, like in our living room, but outside.

The problem with this furniture is that it is big and we only have a small car. Enter my brother and his SUV.

I did some calculations on the size of the furniture and the size of the back of his SUV and I figured we could get it all in.

I’m kind of getting used to borrowing vehicles to pick up large items. The other day I had to borrow a friend’s pick up truck to get three sheets of lattice and a 12’ piece of 2X6.

I remember the days of independence when I owned a mini van and could haul just about anything in that. Well it’s a new day and I need my friends now more than ever.

We made the twenty minute trek into the big city with John’s SUV and waited forever for the guy in the Canadian Tire warehouse to confirm they had all the pieces to the set.

It took so long that I imagined they had the chairs stored in one place, the ottoman and love seat somewhere else, and the cushions … well, they must have been stored in random spots throughout the warehouse.

I’m sure the guys in the back didn’t really want to give them up. They probably came in handy in remote sections of the warehouse for some part time employee to catch a few winks before his shift was over.

Well, about twenty minutes later, they had finally gotten all the furniture together in one place. We paid and headed around the back to the warehouse to pick up our load.

It didn’t take long (like about a minute) to realize that my calculations on the size of the furniture and the space in the vehicle was off. This stuff was not going to fit in easily.

About another twenty minutes later, after struggling with and rearranging the furniture several times, we finally got it in to the point where the back of the SUV was mostly closed.

There was no rope or twine to be found in the warehouse but they had some plastic string-like substance that we kind of doubted would work … but amazingly it held up very well for the last twenty minutes of our adventure back to the cottage.

It only took about five minutes to unload and set up the furniture … and it will take the next ten years or so to fully enjoy our new outdoor living furniture.

Here’s the thing: When I think of my experience purchasing this furniture, I think of how impatient I am with God and my requests. I don’t really like the twenty minute waits (figuratively speaking) here and there. I want my answers right now. I want to place my order with God like I would at Canadian Tire or McDonald’s and have my order answered in about the time it takes to process my debit card. But God isn’t a McDonald’s employee and He doesn’t take orders from us. Our attitude in prayer should be one of respect and patiently waiting. If God chooses to grant us our request we will have years to enjoy it.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How have you had to learn patience when seeking a request from God? I’d like to hear from you; you can leave your comment below.

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When Your Vacation Becomes Work

I’m used to a vacation where I spend a lot of time relaxing at the beach under an umbrella or dodging the waves in the water. That’s why this vacation seems to be more like work.

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Hey, who am I kidding? – it is work! We’ve been working on our deck at the cottage for about four days now. We haven’t put a foot on the beach yet, though we looked at it from the window of a restaurant we had dinner in one night.

We haven’t gone for walks down to the beach or walks along the beach. We haven’t even broken out the beach umbrella yet.

It’s been work, work work, scrubbing, scraping, washing, building. For some people who like projects that might sound like fun. But when you fall into bed each night exhausted, with muscles aching, back breaking, it takes just a little of the fun out of it. It’s work!

… We’re done now and the beach is calling.

We’ve had good weather so far – that is, we’ve had good working weather – a good deal of sun but a gentle, cool breeze to keep you moving and not overwhelmed by heat.

Now we need some hot – REAL hot – humid weather to draw me down to the lake like a magnet to a fridge … unless you have one of those stainless steel fridges … but you get what I mean.

Don’t get me wrong, the deck looks great, but I came here for a vacation, not work.

I want to go a day without a drill in my hand or a compound miter saw next to my wife. She does all the cutting, by the way …

Many years ago, I had a couple of incidents of cutting my finger: once with a really toothy saw for about seven stitches, and once with an utility knife for about four stitches. After that the family started taking sharp instruments away from me. I had to prove I would be safe using standard cutlery for a while after that.

I just told that story to my neighbour who wondered why Lily was doing all the sawing. I explained that it’s her mitre saw; I bought it for her.

But hey, let’s get back to the beach! I’m thinking that a nice patch of silky sand will do. I’ll throw up the umbrella by the shore, maybe even sip a little Dr. Pepper. I’ve got a book I’ve been wanting to read and that’s a perfect spot to crack it open on my iPad.

Here’s the thing: Your relationship with God should not seem like work. It’s a relationship not a job. So if you find it work to keep up with God, in terms of time spent with Him or service you do for Him, you need to change things up. You need to focus on making your relationship with God more relational. It might be as simple as how you talk to Him, and what you talk about. That’s where I would start.

That’s Life!

Paul

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How To Get Things Done

I really dislike times when my mind is bombarded with thoughts of things I need to do or act on. It unearths a stress in me like a volcano stoking up to explode.

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It happens often when I’m getting close to some kind of event or deadline – a time like, let’s say, vacation time, which is coming up very soon for me.

I have a ton of things that are flying through my mind, things I need to get moving on. Some things I wouldn’t have to do if I wasn’t going away. But because I am, and there is a deadline, they get piled onto the list.

It’s only 7:30 in the morning as I am writing this piece, but my mind is whirling with about 10 things I need to be putting some time into today. Now that’s on top of the things I have already scheduled to do today!

If I was to attempt to do all the things on my list, I’m looking at about a 26 hour day. Unfortunately, the guy who invented the clock never made one with more than 24 hours.

And the God who created the world set the earth on a rotation that gives us that same 24 pattern for day and night.

Unless the earth gets slammed hard by meteor or something, I think I’m stuck with the same number of hours in a day that we’ve always had. And that thought isn’t helping my stress; nor is it reducing the number of things I have to spend time on.

Something that helps me when I get like this is an exercise I do to deal individually with each project, to-do item or action, and then break it down.

You have to think of each item individually because, when you stay focussed on all the things you have to do, it is just too overwhelming. The pile of work looks massive; you can’t see your way to the end.

So I list each one. I first single them out. Then I break each one down into bite-sized morsels because each to-do or job can be massive. I break them down into small parts that I can do at one time.

I try not to look at the whole project after that, just the next little bite I need to take to get me closer to eating the whole thing.

Here’s the thing:  We sometimes get asked to pray for many things. But what happens is, when we go to pray, we get overwhelmed with all the requests before us, let alone the things we regularly pray for and our own personal needs. It looks like too massive a list and it’s hard to remember them all.

First, don’t try to remember them all; write them down so you can see each request. Then determine how long the request will remain on your list and pray one detail regarding each request for each day it’s on your list.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you pray through the mountain of requests that come to you? I really like to hear from you, so leave a comment below.