my day

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Four Attitudes that Control Your Actions

I’ve been doing a lot of highway driving lately and it may be affecting my attitude. I’ve developed a bad attitude toward cruise control in cars.

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Maybe drivers just need some lessons on how to use cruise control properly – especially in traffic (and where can you drive without traffic?!). Numerous times this last week, I have found myself behind someone who has their cruise control set for about 5 kilometres slower than I’ve been driving.

I know, it could be a sign to me to slow down. Maybe I shouldn’t be such a “lead foot Larry”. But on the other hand, maybe those cruise control people should just get out of my way!

I’m not bitter that I don’t have cruise control, I just wish people knew how to use it. If you have your cruise set, you really should drive in the right lane. If you want to drive in the left lane, take the cruise off.

It’s not that hard a thing to do. With only a touch of the brake, you can get back in control of your gas pedal again. How hard can that be? Judging from the drivers I’ve been behind, people are able to find their brake pedal way too often!

What really bugs me is when someone tries to pass another vehicle with their cruise control on. It’s so painful to be behind them; it drives me crazy! They try to pass someone who is going only about two kilometres slower so it takes them five minutes to make the move.

It’s like when a truck pulls out in front of you on the highway and wants to pass another truck. At that point, all you can do is crack open a Dr. Pepper, chow down on some chips or licorice and enjoy reading all the decals on the back of the truck.

Sometimes, by the time the truck gets past the other transport, I’ve almost figured out the driver’s first name – I certainly know all about the company he’s driving for. It’s brutal!

But there is no excuse for someone driving a car and doing the same thing. Here’s a tip:  if you are in cruise mode, just step on the gas when you pass. When you’re done, the cruise control will take you right back to your original speed.

Or, here’s a radical thought: touch your brake, step on the gas, and then hit resume when you’ve passed the guy.

It seems to me that people who block you while using their cruise control have an attitude. Their attitude may be “I’m going the correct speed, and I’m going to enforce it”,  “I could care less about anyone else on the road; it’s all about me”, “I’m too lazy to touch my brake or step on the gas”, or “I just want to bug you”.

The bottom line is, no matter what attitude they have, they are bugging me! People should have to take lessons on how to properly engage their cruise control before the dealership activates it.

Here’s the thing: Like the use of your cruise control can frustrate others, so can your use of the Bible. Let’s use the Bible in a right way, and not to slam, to be holier than others, to seem more knowledgeable, or to guilt someone. Rather, we should use the Bible to teach, rebuke, correct, train in righteousness (I read that somewhere!). There’s a subtle difference … and that’s determined by our attitude.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What’s your biggest attitude beef? Leave your comment below.

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Why Your Mother-in law May Be Smarter Than Your Smart Phone

My smart phone is a pretty amazing device, but I think my mother-in-law is still smarter.

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I had to do a funeral service in Ottawa, about two hours from Kingston where I live. I wanted to make sure that I got to the right place so I googled the name of the cemetery and found an address. I thought, just to be sure there weren’t two cemeteries with the same name or two locations in opposite ends of the city, I would phone my mother-in-law.

There is a reason why I wanted to be sure where I was going. Several years ago, I did a funeral in town and the following day was to do the committal service at a cemetery in another city that I wasn’t familiar with.

I got the address and left with plenty of time to spare. But the map took me to the opposite end of the city from the cemetery! I was so panicky, I pulled into a place where I knew I would find some local people: Tim Horton’s.

With sketchy directions, I drove like a mad man. I’m sure all those gathered, waiting for the late pastor to arrive, heard the roar of my engine as I came screaming into the cemetery and up to the grave side.

There was no way I was going to have that happen again! When I called my mother-in-law, I had to leave a message, so I got on my smart phone and used my map app to get directions. I thought I was all set.

A few hours later, my mother-in-law called me back. When I told her what I did, she casually gave me directions. As she did, I realized that her directions were a little different than those the map app had given me.

I decided to go with my mother-in-law’s directions.

The first indication that I was going to be on time for the service was when I passed the hearse about half way to Ottawa. I knew then, at the speed I was going, I would buy myself several minutes even if I got lost.

In the end, my mother-in-law’s directions were more direct and saved me time. The downside was I had to put up with my smart phone telling me to make a U-turn, and to “get back on route”.

My mother-in-law could outsmart a smart phone because she has lived in that city a long time and she’s driven to that cemetery before. It wasn’t just programmed information she read or somehow digested. She had personal experience with that route.

Here’s the thing: We can read books that give us information about God and His ways. But it is our experience of God and His ways in our life that give us insight and wisdom to help others. Never settle for information about God. Go the next step and experience that information … that will give you real wisdom to share.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: In your life, how has experience trumped information? Leave your comment below.

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How Someone Can Jinx Something

Okay, it does sound wrong for a pastor to talk about jinx. That’s just superstition, right? And a pastor, of all people, shouldn’t believe in superstition (touch wood . . . just kidding).

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Well, no, I don’t believe in superstition, but I do have a take on jinxing something.

The other day, I was with two friends and we were deciding on where to go for lunch. My one friend came loaded with coupons from every fast food restaurant in town.

We were price-matching the coupons and it looked like Wendy’s might be the best deal.  The problem was my one friend really doesn’t like Wendy’s. So he had a dilemma since Wendy’s offered the best bargain.

Both my other friend and I were fine with square burgers, but I think it was only the cheap price that caused Don (not his real name) to give in and agree to go to Wendy’s.

Though Don agreed, it didn’t stop him from sharing his views along the way. By the time we arrived at the burger joint, we knew exactly what the issues were that kept him from being a regular patron.

When we got our food and sat down, the complaining began. He used the phrase, “See? This is what I was saying!” frequently.  And I had to admit, he was right. It really was the worst experience I had ever had at Wendy’s.

I didn’t like the bun, the burger was greasy, and the fries were like they were day olds and double fried. The fries were so bad we were comparing them to what the people a table over from us were eating.

My other friend looked down at the floor, saw a fry half squished and said the exact same thing I was thinking: “That fry looks better than the ones we ate!” … and it had probably been there for an hour!

By the end of the meal, we were all disgusted with the food. I thought if this was my only experience at Wendy’s, I would never want to come back. … It’s interesting that I had that thought after eating with a guy who came into the restaurant with a negative attitude.

I even said to him, “Don, you probably jinxed our meal.” But this is what I really think: When you get something in your mind, you become focused on it and it shapes your experience.

Ever notice when you buy a new car how many other cars of the same colour or the same make you see on the road? Your mind is now focussed that way, so your experience is slanted that way.

I’m sure if, at another time, I had been served that same meal at Wendy’s (and there’s no doubt I have), without the negative attitude, I would have focussed on what I liked about the meal and not really noticed how bad it was.

The whole jinx thing is not superstitious; it is just our mind focussing on the negative. But it works – that was one bad meal!

Here’s the thing: If you are unsure that God loves you, wants and will bring about what’s best for you, then you will question His ability and power in your life. And that will affect your life experience. You will see God as not able to do what He says. But if you are sure of God’s love, you will trust and seek His power in your life and that will change your whole life experience and perspective for the better.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What past negative experience has impacted your willingness to experience something again? Leave your comment below.

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What Will Bring Satisfaction To Your Day?

At the end of a day we want to look back with a sense of satisfaction. No matter what kind of day it was – a busy day, a day of trouble, or a day of ease – we want to feel satisfied with our day.

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My Saturday could have blown up in my face … it certainly didn’t go down as one of the most memorable days of my life. But at the end of it, satisfaction is what I felt.

It started as a great day; I had nothing pressing, could do anything I decided to do. There were a couple of things that were in the back of my mind that I wanted to do, like go for a bike ride.

It was a warm, sunny fall day with the leaves turning – everything outside was inviting. Instead, I ended up sitting on my couch in the basement with my computer … all day long.

With all the free time I had on Saturday, I thought I would upgrade our website to the latest version of software. As I started the task, I knew it was not going to be easy to do. But I did have the time, so I thought I’d go for it.

… And boy, did I! Along the way, I learned lots – more than I had ever wanted to know about software and the internet. I may be scarred for life now.

There were a couple of times during the day that I crashed our website and was not sure if I could get it back. I feared I would have to rebuild the website from scratch.

I read all kinds of horror stories about upgrading websites that really should have convinced me that I should have just left it alone, but no I kept going.

It may have been my dad’s voice in my head saying, “Finish what you start”. I wanted to go for a bike ride but I had to finish the upgrade. This compulsion goes back to when I was a kid and colouring in a colouring book …

One time I started colouring a picture and then half way through got bored and turned the page to start a new one. My dad said to me “Finish the one you started.” Those words got stuck in the part of my brain that makes decisions and now I have to finish what I start.

All day I kept asking questions via google search, and I had to reframe those questions over and over to get the answers I was looking for. I had to comb through useless information to get the nuggets of helpful suggestions.

I had to take some risks, because instructions were not that clear. I failed several times before I was successful. And it was the littlest things that brought the results I wanted. After hours of frustration, I found someone who had a similar problem, and the solution was to put an “@” at the beginning of line 1411 in some file.

It worked … it was 9:30 pm.

Even though it was a gorgeous day, and I could have gone biking, could have done a million things – even cutting the grass looked more exciting that day! – still, satisfaction marked my day.

Here’s the thing: There are a lot of difficult things we would rather put off, not deal with, turn a blind eye to. But if you will keep seeking God about these difficult issues or personal growth areas, not ignoring them, but persevering by continually bringing them to God, when God brings that answer, in the end, you will have as much satisfaction as when you do something enjoyable.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you stuck with in order to see it finished?  Leave your comment below.

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The Reason You Don’t Change Your Busy Life

You ask ten people how they are doing and about 8 to 10 of them will say “busy”. That’s life for almost everyone. Now, mind you, leading a busy life is relative. Some people’s busyness is like a working vacation for others.

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But it doesn’t matter what your definition of busyness is. We have the same feelings of fatigue, hurriedness, and drivenness. It’s pretty standard fare for the average person in North America.

This week I was reminded of a time in my life when it was busier than it is now. We had some guests staying with us: a mom and her two boys, 3 and 1½ years old.

They were cute little guys, but they were also very busy. And that meant the house had a busy feel about it. It was lively; there was always something happening – actually, there was alway more than one thing happening.

A conversation had to be stopped and restarted several times to attend to a bump on the head, a wiping of the hands, and “No, don’t do that”, or a “Just a minute please”. You know how it works at those ages; kids need a lot of attention.

It’s just funny how you forget what it’s like. Now that our kids are, for the most part, out of the house, things are pretty quiet. At dinner there is only one conversation. The attention is only on one of two people at any one time.

There are rarely any bumps on the head, and food usually goes directly from plate to mouth. However, sometimes my food takes a detour and lands up on the placemat. If I would only learn to bring my plate closer . . . right, Lil?

To add to the excitement the other day, we also had another dinner guest. It was not a quiet meal, and it wasn’t calm, but it was pretty funny and exciting.

These little guys had to be reminded of things that we take for granted. Some things they had a hard time comprehending. Some things they didn’t want to comprehend, like the twenty times Lily had to tell Elias that the turtle didn’t need to be fed … he kept insisting that the turtle looked hungry.

Elias just needed something and didn’t know what it was. But I recognized that look in his eyes, that roaming around the kitchen. I knew what he was thinking. I have the same feelings, and do the same roaming after dinner. We just need something else; we’re not sure what it is, but we need something.

I asked, “What about dessert?” to which Lily replied, “Great. You come up with it then because I didn’t make any.” I just happened to have some “after dinner licorice” that seemed to do the trick for Elias … for a while.

It was a whirlwind of a meal but it was great because this was not life for us 24/7. And just when things were settling down, I sent Elias to check on the turtle. As he went, I couldn’t resist throwing out the suggestion, “Do you think he’s hungry?” That got me a reaction from Lily!

Here’s the thing: When we are in the midst of life, we aren’t conscious of just how fast paced and busy it is. Only when we step out of it can we then appreciate how non-stop life is. Carve out of your busyness some time to get quiet, reflective and find a peacefulness with God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What prevents you from stepping out of your busyness to find some quiet? Leave your comment below.

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Here’s A Quick Way To Change Your Perspective

Getting back into an old routine is like slipping into your favourite sweat pants. There is something about it that feels right – it’s comfortable; it’s where you belong.

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That was me Saturday night: a quick trip to my wing joint to pick up my hot wings, and then home to settle into the hockey game on TV.

It’s what I do on Saturday nights. My wife, Lily has come to accept it and even puts in her order for a half pound of honey garlic wings. It all happens around the TV – wings, a can of Dr. Pepper, and the Leafs on Saturday night.

I went the whole fall and part of the winter last year having to find something else to do on Saturday nights, but man, it just feels so good to have the games back on!

This year I have my red light to announce the goals as if I was at the game itself. The red light flashes like a goal light and I get a big sounding fog horn to boot!

This past Saturday night was very interesting. The red light actually went off before the puck was in the net. Mind you, it was only about two seconds before each goal went in, but it was early for all four goals, and two shoot out goals as a bonus.

You saw the play develop with the potential of a goal, and then the horn went off and the light came on just before the goal went in. I was celebrating before the players on the ice were! I knew they scored before they did … well, maybe.

I found myself anticipating goals, thinking to myself, “This could be it!” And then, before the play was over, I knew it wasn’t going to be a scoring play. I didn’t get all that excited about a great shot because I knew it wasn’t going in before the puck got to the net.

So, in some ways, I was able to prepare myself for what was or wasn’t going to happen around the net of the opposing team. I was able to manage my emotions better, and not get too disappointed when things didn’t work out.

Being able to tell the future really had me watching the game differently than normal. I wish my red light could have told me a little more in advance, but even two seconds was pretty good.

It’s hard to describe the feeling that I had – maybe satisfaction, or confidence, or insight – in watching the game unfold before me … especially during the shoot out when I knew what was going to happen.

It was a new experience for me, and a great outcome for my team. The Leafs have started the season 3 and 0 – not too shabby.

Here’s the thing: The Bible gives us a glimpse into the future, though it is on a macro scale and not a micro one like the hockey game Saturday night. Even so, with knowledge of the future, it allows us to prepare for what’s to come, to celebrate even before it happens and have a sense of satisfaction, confidence or insight as the future unfolds. Those are some good reasons to know what’s in the Bible. Read on.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How would knowing the future impact your life? Leave your comment below.

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How To Transition To A New Season

We’re into October and it’s time for me to transition into the new season. Some of you are thinking, “Great. He’s finally recognizing the leaves are changing and that it’s fall.”

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That might be the transition some people make. They put the fall decorations around the house, get the rake out to bag the leaves, and start thinking of pumpkins and of the colours brown, yellow and orange.

But that’s not the transition to the new season I’m referring to. For me, the transition is going from biking and golf season to hockey season. And with that, I guess you could say, there comes some decorations.

One thing that I have to do is ditch the bike rack, and the clubs from the trunk, put the hockey sticks in my car and make room for my equipment bag.

But not so fast. I’m having a hard time making the transition to the new season. I still want to bike, and there may be a few more rounds of golf left in my clubs.

I have to admit I have some urges to make the transition. Every time I drive past the arena I think, “Boy, it’s time I get those blades out and hit the ice.” But I still am hesitant.

I just don’t want to put my bike away yet. I realize that there are fewer and fewer opportunities to mountain bike. It rains more at this time of year. It gets darker sooner. It’s getting cooler.

Also, making the transition will mean I have to lug my equipment out to the car and back into the house. I’ll have to put up with the annoyance of hearing “That equipment stinks!” from one unnamed person in the house (it doesn’t really smell).

I think what might put me over the edge to make the changeover is going a week without being able to bike, or finding there is not enough light to see the trails.

I know it’s just a matter of time, but I want to ease into it. Maybe I will play hockey once a week just to get my feet wet (or frozen, in this case). I’ll keep biking but I’ll play a little hockey as well.

I’m going to slowly make the transition … like when you go swimming in a lake, and slowly walk out into the deeper water, allowing your body time to adjust to the cooler temperatures. Lake Huron, where we swim, is like that – you can go a long way out before you have to go all the way under.

Once I’m in, it’s all good; I can stay in. I will have made the transition; I won’t be pining away for my bike or golf clubs. And I’ll enjoy the new season … until it’s time to transition again.

Here’s the thing: When God wants to change something in us, we often resist that change. We’re comfortable and don’t want to change. If we focus on the good or the blessings that change will bring – instead of the loss of what we have – we will slowly let God work that new change into our lives and let go of that thing we’re hanging on to.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you found to be a difficult transition to make? Leave your comment below.

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How Instinct Can Automate Your Life

Instinct is a marvelous thing. It protects us, automates us, and it works fast! The other night we arrived at our cottage at about 9:30 in the evening. At this time of year, that means it’s pitch black dark out.

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Before we can turn the lights on in the cottage, we have to turn on the main switch at the power box outside around the back of the cottage. That’s my responsibility. So, I went around back, bent down to flick the switch and put my head in a spider web.

My immediate reaction was probably the same reaction 99% of people have when they do that: I pulled back and started swiping at the web. I did what anyone would do and for three good reasons …

The first reason is the web is sticky and it feels kind of gross. Secondly, we’ve all seen enough scary movies and there are always spider webs in scary movies! And thirdly, there may be a spider attached to that web that is going to start crawling all over you.

In a matter of a nano-second, I reacted for these three reasons and started flailing away. Right about then, Lily came with a flashlight so I could see the next spider web – which I avoided – as I reached to turn on the water to the cottage.

That instinctive reaction not only comes into play with spider webs. Early this summer while riding my bike I rode right into a swarm of tiny little bugs. Instinctively, I closed my eyes and mouth to protect myself from getting an eyeful or mouthful of the tasty little morsels.

It was amazing that I could be riding at about 20 km’s per hour right into the bugs and still get my eyes and mouth shut in time.

Instinct works like a machine. There is no processing time; it’s all reaction that happens in a split second. You don’t have to think, analyze, choose, or decide; it’s automatic.

There are many other things that we do instinctively. When we put something bad tasting in our mouth, it’s automatic that we all make the same face and spit it out. Some of us have better expressions than others, and some spit it out in more appropriate places that others. But instinctively, we all react without even a thought.

There are tons of things we do instinctively that are just built in to our nature. But there are things that we react to because we’ve learned to and it has become automatic.

You don’t think about what to do when you sit in a car, but you do the same thing every time. When you go to shave, you start in the same place every time. There are countless things we’ve learned to be instinctive about.

… Except putting out the garbage! I still have to become instinctive about that.

Here’s the thing: We can become instinctive about many things, and one of those things is prayer. Our instinctive reaction to life should be to pray … and developing such an instinct requires repetition. The more you repeat the same action (prayer) to what happens in your life, the sooner it will become instinctive for you.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you learned to be instinctive about? Leave your comment below.

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How a Plan Would Have Improved My Day

Maybe it was the weather that made me lazy, but I sure needed a plan last Saturday. I felt like I accomplished nothing, like I wasted my precious day off, like I frittered away the day.

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That doesn’t happen every day to me because most days of the week I make a plan. I have things that I want or need to get done and so I put them on my reminder list or right into my calendar.

Some people can keep it all organized in their heads, but I need to write it down. I like to see it and check it off.

Saturday was different for me; I wasn’t motivated to do anything. Well, I was … I wanted to go for a bike ride but the rain put an end to that dream, and with it any motivation to do anything else.

It was like I was thinking, “If the weather’s not going to let me go biking, I’ll show it. I’ll do nothing instead.” I didn’t actually think that, but in hindsight that was what I was doing.

I spent my day getting lost in the new iOS for my phone and iPad. I’d look at the time every once in a while and shake my head, but then go back to the nothing I was doing.

There were a couple of things I did during the day but they weren’t things I scheduled. They were things that others scheduled for me, and they didn’t give me a sense of accomplishment.

All I really needed to do was to spend about ten minutes writing a few things down and that would have changed the pattern of my whole day. I would have gone from floating through the day to having some kind of purpose.

Having a simple list of things I wanted to work on or complete would have also changed how I felt about my day. I would have progressed through it instead of being annoyed at how the time was advancing.

I can’t figure out why I would keep doing something – in this case nothing – that I didn’t like doing and not do something about it. (I hope I didn’t hypnotize you with that sentence!)

But that’s what lack of planning does – it keeps one stuck in the past/present while time is still moving. It’s like for me, time was standing still, but in reality time was passing me by.

I could say that I was tired and I needed a day of nothing, but why, at the end of the day, didn’t I feel good about the nothing I did? No, even planning one or two things would have brought me fulfillment.

Here’s the thing: If you’re not planning God into your day, either connecting, growing or serving Him, you will float along in your relationship, stuck in the past/present with Him. Time will keep moving while your relationship will be standing still. Simply thinking of how to include Him in your day is all you need to improve your day.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How has planning made a difference in your life? Leave your comment below.

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What Everyone Ought To Know About Maintenance

The word “maintenance” has a tag-along emotion for me . . . it’s called frustration.

I get frustrated with maintenance because I want to enjoy the thing that needs to be maintained; I don’t want to work on it.

Bike Maintenance

Bike Maintenance

I want to use something and not have to care for it or fix it. In the 80’s I didn’t want a PC because you needed to know DOS and a series of commands and what pressing the “Ctrl+Alt+Del” keys did. I just wanted to use a computer, not figure out how it worked.

I like to ride my bike; I don’t like cleaning it. I want to just pull the cord on my lawnmower and start cutting the grass. I don’t like having to scrape the grass off the undercarriage or keep it tuned.

The problem is, in the last week, my avoidance with maintenance has accentuated my frustration. I broke the chain on my bike, probably because I didn’t clean the gritty oil off it.

My lawnmower is having a hard time starting these days and it’s not cutting evenly because it needs a tune up and a wheel adjustment.

And my computer needs some file maintenance soon or I will run out of space on my hard drive.

This was all fresh in my mind when I watched a little 3 minute video on how to clean your bike after a ride so it’s ready for your next ride. The guy on the video said you could do it in five minutes, but somehow (through the magic of video, I guess) he showed us in three.

I’m almost convinced that I need a new attitude toward maintenance, but for that to happen I really need a new emotion to go with the word. I’ve been thinking of some emotions that I could associate with maintenance – emotions like affection, confidence and satisfaction … but I can’t seem to trick myself and instead I feel annoyance, contempt and suffering.

Some people love maintenance, maybe even more that using the item. But not me. I know my things would last longer if I had a warm, fuzzy attachment to the word but it’s just not that easy. I can’t turn a switch on and like it.

I thought of a couple of solutions. I could give away my stuff when it needs some maintenance, and just bless people with things that sort of work. But that would require me needing a lot of money to replace my items.

Also, I could farm the maintenance out to people who like doing it. But that too would be costly and I would be without my beloved whatever, while it was being serviced.

There doesn’t seem to be an easy solution for me that works. I might have to do maintenance even though I don’t like it, even though it frustrates me. I might have to just discipline myself in spite of the piggy-backed emotion that comes with the word.

Here’s the thing: Relationships, like with things we own, require maintenance. We might like the idea of just enjoying our relationship with God but to maintain that relationship, we need to connect with Him, grow in Him and serve Him. That kind of maintenance might seem like work that we might not want to put our energy into, but maintaining our relationship with God will require us to discipline ourselves in order to connect, grow and serve.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How disciplined are you at maintaining your relationship with God?  Leave your comment below.