my day

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Whatever You Do, Don’t Fix It!

It’s funny how you can enjoy something, but then want something else that will take away the very thing you enjoy. If I have you confused, that’s okay. I’m a little confused myself.

Let me try to explain. For the last 5 months I’ve been helping with the dishes after the evening meal. My wife, Lily does the washing and I do the drying. Lily has really enjoyed the time we have spent after dinner each night, talking while we do the dishes together.

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I’ve not alway done the dishes – maybe it’s because of the example I had from my father, or maybe it’s because I’m full after dinner and I really need to relax on the couch.

But mostly, I haven’t helped much with the dishes in the past because we have a dishwasher (I’m not referring to Lily here). When we moved into our house almost 17 years ago, there was a large hole under the kitchen counter top.

It looked so odd that we had to get a dishwasher just to fill the space. As I recall, Lily didn’t really want to get it because she was happy to hand wash the dishes if we could do them together. But I convinced her that the hole under the counter really detracted from the esthetics of the kitchen and we needed to install a dishwasher.

All her dreams of washing dishes together evaporated in thin air because I got pretty good at placing my plates, cutlery and cups into the trays, though sometimes I noticed Lily had to rearrange the items because I hadn’t put them in the best place.

That all changed five months ago when our dishwasher stopped working. I took a quick look at it and determined that we needed a new one. Lily looked at it and determined that I should fix it.

The good news, for Lily though, is that we’ve been washing dishes together.  We’ve enjoyed time together, working together and talking. She has loved it; it’s like the dream she had came back to be a reality.

That’s why I found it strange the other day when we were in a store and Lily blurted out, “You really need to fix that dishwasher.” I looked at her and wondered, “Does she really know what she is asking? Does she really want her dream to disappear again?”

Now the chances of me fixing the dishwasher are slim. My opinion is that a new dishwasher is the best fix I could do. You see, our dishwasher is 17 years old. In human years that’s not old at all, but in turtle years that’s getting up there, and in dog years that’s really old! . . .  the dishwasher is a goner.

It still has a purpose though. It fills the hole under the counter and it looks like it’s supposed to do something. You can’t do that with a dead animal. I’m beginning to wonder if she really does like doing the dishes together?

Here’s the thing: We need to be careful that the thing we want, whether it’s an object, a job, or a change of some kind doesn’t take away the time we spend with God. Sometimes what we want can take away from what we now enjoy.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What “wants” can crowd out your time spent with God?  Leave your comment below.

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Made It Through Valentine’s Day!

Special occasions should lift our spirits high with great anticipation. Instead, they often bury us under heaps of pressure. I think if you’re a guy, you can understand this feeling more than a woman can.

We recently got through Valentine’s Day (I’m speaking for all guys here). I’m not saying it was a hardship or unpleasant in any way. As a matter of fact, the day turned out pretty well. Lily and I had a nice meal out at a restaurant where many other couples were dressed in a variety of shades of red. I would have been decked out with them, but I couldn’t find my raspberry coloured beret.

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The “getting through” part is the pressure we find ourselves in trying to prepare for the wonderful event. My first tip was a closed door about two weeks before Valentine’s Day.

I was instructed not to come in. I couldn’t fathom why at the beginning of February my wife needed to hide something from me – my birthday is not until June! She said she was making a Valentine’s package to send our daughter, and immediately I felt my right eye twitch.

I quickly checked my calendar to make sure the day was free and that I didn’t have a meeting or something scheduled for that evening. Whew! I didn’t; I calmed down, my eye stopped twitching and I kind of forgot about Valentine’s Day for a couple of weeks.

It’s times like these that I wish I was more of a shopper. You see, if I was, I would have noticed the Valentine’s displays. I would have been reminded by the advertisements in the flyers. But sadly, we got down to a day before Valentine’s Day and I felt the pressure of the world on my shoulders.

I not only had to do something for my wife for Valentine’s, I had to compete against a woman who had been planning what she was doing for at least two weeks! She had a huge head start on me.

With my heart rate slightly elevated, and my palms just a little damp, I got to the store and started looking at the cards. With so many cards, you’d think it would have been easy to find the perfect one.

The cards I found seemed way too mushy or just stated the obvious (Happy Valentine’s Day). I was frustrated; there were some empty card slots and I just knew that one of those cards would probably have been perfect … why did I leave it until the day before?

I finally settled on a card … the chocolates would be easier. I just had to stay away from hazelnuts and I would be able to pick a winner. With my loot in hand, all I needed now was to write something warm and tender. But I don’t do warm and tender when my heart is racing and my hands are sweaty. I’d have to write it later.

I had booked the restaurant earlier in the day so I had a whole day to calm myself, dig out from the mounds of pressure and breath. Wow! We made it through another special occasion guys – way to go!

Here’s the thing: Each week, many of us are unprepared for a special occasion. We don’t think about church and meeting God until we get up in the morning and are in a hurry to get there. Take some pressure off by preparing your heart in advance to meet with God at church.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you prepare for meeting God at church?  Leave your comment below.

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I Wish I hadn’t Called Him That Name

When it comes to naming things, some people have a gift and others don’t. I’ve met people who I’ve wanted to call by another name. I don’t know why, except they don’t look like, say, a “Ross” to me.

Some people get creative with names – and others wish they hadn’t – like Frank Zappa’s kid, “Moon Unit” or more recently, Beyonce’s child, “Blue Ivy”. You have to wonder what they were thinking or were on when they named their children!

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But it’s not just baby names. Some companies choose weird names for their products, like pretty much anything in an Ikea store. When I ordered a “Billy”, I didn’t know that was a book shelf. But since having “Billy” in my home for years now, we’ve had some good conversations.

New Zealand has a drink that is called “SARS”. I’m not sure I’d like to order one of them. But when the “SARS” virus was breaking out all over the world, sales of the drink went up. People thought it was a cure. After all, the can did say it had a flavour burst.

There are times, though, when there is something about a name that either fits the person or describes the item very well.

Our turtle is named Winston, and if you saw him you would think the name really suits him. It was my daughter who came up with that name and I think she showed lots of creativity. However, that wasn’t always the case with my kids and names.

Karlie had a stuffed animal that she called “Monkey”. Fortunately, it was a stuffed monkey and not a stuffed elephant or giraffe. Mike, well, he really got creative with two teddy bears that he had: one he called “little Ted” and the other one “big Teddy”. At least we never got their names mixed up; there was a noticeable size difference.

Speaking of getting mixed up, there was a time I played hockey with a guy who had two first names. I don’t mean his name was hyphenated, or he went by his middle name instead of his first; I mean his last name was a popular first name – Mike Dale.

I don’t think one can be held responsible for calling someone who has two first names by their last name. It’s easy to get confused. I had been calling for this guy to pass me the puck and was wondering why he wasn’t sliding it over.

Finally, he skated to me and said, “Hey! Stop calling me by my last name. How’d you like me to call you by your last name?” Actually, I didn’t care. The thing was, I thought I HAD been calling him by his first name … and I thought he kind of looked like a Dale instead of a Mike.

A good name helps us identify the person or helps us have a good idea of what the product is or does.

Here’s the thing: God has many names that describe characteristics about Him – Jehovah Rapha (the God who heals) or Jehovah Jireh (the Lord will provide) or Jehovah Shammah (the God who is There). If I keep in mind these descriptive names that identify a quality about Him, I will probably seek Him more quickly when I have a particular need.

That’s Life

Paul

Question: What names for God do you keep in your mind?  Leave your comment below.

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It Was My Own Stupidity

They say that if you put a frog in a pot and slowly turn up the temperature, it won’t jump out. It will allow itself to be cooked alive. I did that to myself, in a manner of speaking, the other day.

The weather reports had called for a massive snow storm through our area. My secretary was prepared; she had her work done ahead of time and left early. I suggested my associate get his things together and get home as well.

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That left me. Most people would also think they had better pack up, but not me. I thought I’d just work a little longer, since it was quiet and I wouldn’t be disturbed.

My wife phoned, and said the roads were terrible, that I should leave and work from home. But I just wanted to get a little more done on my sermon. Deep down, I believe I can drive in any condition under any circumstance.

After a while longer, I heard someone at the door. I thought, “Who would be crazy enough to be out in this snow storm?” It then dawned on me that I was the answer to my own question!

I opened the door, to find a friend. The first words out of her mouth were, “Paul, you are not going to get your car out of the parking lot.”

That’s when I really looked outside and saw that the snow was right up to the bottom of my car. I was cooked!

My friends told me they would help, so I packed up quickly and got to my car. I started it, put it in reverse and backed out. Well, I guess I should say I tried. I got stuck when I put it in first gear.

I don’t have snow tires, instead opting for all season radials. I think the tire companies have a scam going. For over thirty years I have only used all season tires on my cars with no problem. But in the last 10 years, tire companies have pressured us to buy winter tires.

I think they changed the rubber compound. That’s why my all seasons don’t work as well any more. It’s a conspiracy to get me to buy snow tires, or at least that’s my theory.

My friends helped me push my car. It took some work, but finally we were able to get me out of the parking lot.

The drive home was also pretty bad. My tires spun and I slipped around at every street light. When I got to my street, it looked much like the parking lot at the church. I didn’t have high hopes for success, but I just went for it and plowed through the snow.

I got stuck right in front of my neighbour’s house, who happened to be out snow blowing his driveway.  He came over and pushed me to the bottom of my driveway.

That’s when I called in the troops – Lily, that is. She came out and, along with my neighbour and his snow blower, we cleared the driveway so I could get the car in the garage … where it stayed for the night.

Here’s the thing: We get ourselves into all kinds of situations that are over our heads. Many times it’s our own doing … or stupidity. Sometimes, we don’t even have the sense to reach out for help. Know this – God isn’t just waiting for us to beg Him for help; He is actively working for us before we even ask.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: When has someone come to your aid before you asked for help? Leave your comment below.

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She Made Me Sick

It almost never happens. In fact, I can’t ever remember a time when it’s happened before. But it happened this weekend: my wife, Lily and I got sick at the same time. Usually, one of us is there for the other one. Well, maybe her more than me.

Normally if Lily is sick, I stay clear to protect myself; I don’t want to get too close.  And it works most of the time. Sometimes however, as she is getting better, that’s when I’ll come down with it.

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Saturday we were both in bed, pretty much all day. We had extra blankets and layers of clothing on. I’m not sure what to call our sickness. There was a time way back, when I would offer a name for it.  Back then, if you were achy, coughing, hot and cold at the same time, we called that a cold. If you felt like you were going to throw up, it was the flu.

Now, it seems we call everything the flu. That’s not very descriptive, if you ask me. I remember when, if someone told you they had the flu, you got a mental image of them with a bucket close by.

Now, however, we are just plain confused when someone says, “I had the flu.” You ask, “What kind of flu? – the kind that you feel like throwing up, or the blowing-your-noise-and-have-a-temperature kind?” Come on, just give them two different names; one’s the flu and the other is a cold. Lily and I had the cold variety, got the picture?

As the day progressed, I started thinking that our kids should be here to look after us.  After all, we certainly did that for them for many years. Sadly, Karlie lives two time zones away and Mike, well, he’d stayed over at a friend’s the night before.

We were sick and on our own. So Lily had to make lunch for us. Now, just so you don’t get the idea I did nothing all day, I made my own dinner. It was a frozen pizza, but I had to go downstairs twice, the second time for the instructions. That used way too much energy for me that day!

All day I couldn’t shake this thought that our kids should be here for us. Karlie even phoned us while she was out shopping, wanting advice on choosing a soup stock to buy. It was like she was taunting us with visions of chicken vegetable soup. But there was no way she could beam it over to us.

I looked outside and it was snowing. There was no way we could shovel the snow, but Mike could do it . . . if he was home!

At that point, we both felt kind of sad and lonely, Lily more that me, ‘cause I had hockey to watch all afternoon and evening. Where were those kids when you needed them?

Here’s the thing: Just like our kids were not close by when we were both sick, if we have allowed or caused some distance in our relationship with God to exist, we certainly won’t feel like He is close by when we need Him. I need to make sure I stay close to God when I’m doing well, so that when I’m not, I know He is there to help.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What kinds of things can cause distance in your relationship with God? Leave your comment below.

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Just The Way I Like It

I bought a new hockey stick the other day.  And I started to reflect on how important my stick is to me. I think everyone who has a hobby takes pride in the instruments or equipment they use to participate. I don’t know, but maybe some people will only buy a certain kind of knitting needle, or their automotive tools have to be a certain brand.

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We do that because, for some reason, when we wield our weapon it has to feel right in our hands. For me, the hockey stick starts with a curve … and it’s getting harder to find my curve pattern in stores.  They make a Hall curve, an Iginla curve, or a Crosby curve, but not a Silcock curve.

I don’t know why they change things. People get used to an article of clothing and for some reason they change it on you or stop making it for a newer, slightly different model. I’ve had to change my sticks over the years.

I moved from a wood stick to a carbon shaft with a wood blade, and for several years I just replaced the blade of the stick. But now my sticks are one piece all carbon, have a heal curve (Lidstrom pattern), and are ten times lighter than the old wood ones.

Once I buy a stick I still have to prep it. You know, break it in or customize it.  I cut off about eighteen inches and insert a wood handle that’s tapered to fit my hand better. My son says I should only pay half price since I only use half a stick.

For me, it’s not just a matter of going to the store and picking out a twig to use on ice. There’s a lot of thought and work that goes into getting it ready.  I take a rasp to the end of the stick to get the right shape for my hand.  And then there’s the tape job.

Taping my stick is not a quick process. The handle has to have the right size of nob on the end, and I tape the blade of my stick from toe to heal. I make sure there are no creases in the tape and that the overlap is consistent along the whole blade.

I finish it all off by coating the stick with ice wax. The wax seals the tape onto the stick and prevents moisture from getting in. Basically, it strengthens the tape on my stick and makes me feel that the puck will stick to my blade when I’m stick handling around other players.

That’s it, I’m done. Then I hold the stick in my hands and picture the goals I will score and the moves I’ll make with my new weapon of choice.

Here’s the things: If I will take that much time and care to make sure my hockey stick is just the way I like it, I need to put the same kind of thought into making my relationship with God just like I want it to be, and how He has designed it to be.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you put a lot of time and effort into so that it is just the way you want it? Leave a comment below.

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I Can’t Believe That Stressed Me Out

This week I graduated from the cardiac rehab clinic. Part of the requirements were to attend seminars designed to help me make positive changes to my life. The topics covered were fitness, stress, nutrition, the heart, and medication – eleven sessions in all. Each session was 1 1/2 – 1 3/4 hours long. I can only think of two words to describe these sessions: “brutally boring”.

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I have watched them on DVD; most people were held captive in the lecture hall for the whole time.  I don’t think I would have survived if I had to go to them. I’d probably have had another heart attack! It was bad enough having to watch the sessions at home, at my own pace.

One of the sessions – on stress – was three DVDs long. The problem with watching the DVDs was that they were creating more stress in my life. I felt my blood pressure rise slightly when the instructor began her talk by relating a story of her mother moving from Vancouver to Kingston, including what airline she was taking to get there.  Just start talking about stress!

She also stopped talking to welcome and assist everyone who came in late. It was nice that she made them feel comfortable, but they were late! Let them sneak in with their head down in embarrassment; they might show up on time for the next lecture.

The camera man must have been a 12 year old. He kept zooming the camera in and out with jerky motions, without care of what he was focussing on. Lighting for this big budget film was also pretty poor.  The instructor looked like she was wearing a turtleneck sweater, with shadows from her neck down.

I was just about ready to get hostile when my wife called me for dinner. That’s what probably saved my lap top from some damage. I closed it and went to the table. It was the break I needed.  I vented to Lily for a few minutes, and was able to bring my blood pressure down by filling my face with her chicken casserole.

It was only a short-lived reprieve, however. I had to finish the last half of the DVD after dinner. I think I dosed off a bit because the second half seemed to go a little faster. I came to while the instructor was demonstrating how to breath.

It was riveting. I mean, I have been breathing for well over 50 years now. Who’d have thought I’ve been doing it all wrong all this time? I’ve got it down now though, so I should be able to keep breathing for the rest of my life.

I have one more DVD on stress to go and, if I can survive it, I think my stress level will go down. Normally, when I watch a DVD, it’s to relax and chill out, to be entertained. These movies have tested my patience, and got me so riled up, I’ve started to yell at my computer screen.

I don’t think that’s healthy, especially for a guy who’s had a heart attack. They gave me medication to reduce my blood pressure and slow my heart rate, but then, I’ve allowed their DVDs to undo any good the medication was supposed to do.

Here’s the thing: I can do a lot of things right spiritually, like taking time to be with God, serving in the church, being in community with other believers. But, if I harbour sin in my life, it will negatively impact my spiritual vitality.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: Despite all the good in your life, what are some negative things that could undo you?

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If Only I Had Noticed

Some people are more observant than others, so it isn’t right that everyone should have to meet the same standards.  It’s fine for an observant person to notice that his wife had her hair cut, but there should be a grace period and hints given to the person who is not as observant.

I’m all for equality in certain circumstances.  We all should observe our surroundings and know where others are and what they’re doing, so we don’t bump into them.  But having to notice something without a comparison is completely unfair to an observant-impaired person.

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It’s like playing that concentration game where you pick up a card and then have to remember where the matching card is on the board.  An observant person wins at that game and we commend them.  We don’t get upset at the one who loses; we just feel sorry for the poor sap.

I had been away for a couple of days on a trip and when I got home, my wife Lily looked just as lovely as she did when I left.  It wasn’t until the next morning, after she had fixed her hair for the day, that she said to me, “You didn’t notice that I had my hair cut.”

In a split second, I recalled how bad a concentration player I was.  I had flashbacks of me turning up the wrong cards.  It’s not fair.  It wasn’t like Lily got a new hair style – it was the exact same hair style only a little shorter!

I told her that I thought her hair looked great, but it didn’t seem to make much difference because I hadn’t noticed on my own.  Maybe I need to get a deck of concentration cards and practice … or, maybe there’s an app for that.

When kids are little, we try to get them to distinguish between things that are different. On Sesame Street, kids learn “one of these things is not like the other…”  But in this case, Lily’s hair looked the same.

Now, Lily is a teacher at heart.  So I think she wanted to help me out, give me another try.  Well, at least I think that’s what she was trying to do when she said “come and look in the pantry and tell me if you notice anything different there.”

The problem was, she didn’t give me any more clues than that!  When I go to the pantry there are only two shelves I look at – they’re the ones that have the snack food on them that I would be interested in eating.

Suddenly, I was looking at items on shelves I didn’t know we had in the pantry!  “It could be anything”, I thought.  So I just said, “Wow!  This looks fantastic.  You’ve done a lovely job.”  Somehow she saw right through that, and gave me another failing grade.

I think non-observants should be marked on the curve.  We should be held to a lower standard.  But, in reality it’s not going to happen, so I just better try to be more observant.

Here’s the thing: I might not notice when God wants to show me something, and I could  use the excuse, “I’m not that observant.”  But, I’m the one who misses out.  What I need to do is pay more attention to God so I notice what He wants me to see.

That’s life!

Paul

Question: How do you keep yourself observant to what God wants to show you? Leave your comment below.

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Like Lemmings Jumping Off a Cliff

We haven’t received all that much snow this winter, but whenever I have had to travel, the snow has come in piles!  Out of the last five trips I’ve made to either Toronto or Ottawa, I’ve traveled through a snow storm each time at least one way.

I know it’s Canada and winter, and snow is one of our best GNP’s (Gross National Product) but still, every time I travel?  Come on!  You can pretty well track our snow fall by my travel plans this year.  They’re lucky down in Florida that I don’t have a trip planned to the sunshine state.

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An hour before returning from my latest trip, the snow started falling.  It seemed pretty light so I wasn’t worried.  But when I finished my meeting and went out to my car, all the cars looked the same.  They were all white with about three inches of snow on them.

I picked my car out of the line up, opened the door and reached for the snow brush.  It was one of those snow days that when you finished brushing the snow off your car, the part you first brushed off needed another brushing.  You could just keep going around your car brushing off the snow.

Once I got going, I realized the roads were going to be slippery – and you know what that means:  Everyone who can’t drive is out on the roads trying to audition for that TV show, “Canada’s Worst Driver”!  I saw a few that I think would be good candidates.

The highway was packed, visibility was poor and then we got diverted off the highway.  I found out later there was a 60 – 80 car pile-up we had to detour around.  It was during that detour that I realized how conditioned we are to just follow.

It was one lane, stop and go, bumper to bumper.  Everyone just started following the car ahead.  We traveled for an hour like this.  Then I noticed a sign indicating a turn back to the main highway.

When I got to the corner, the cars ahead of me didn’t make the turn.  They kept on the single lane road like lemmings, just following the car ahead, without thinking about where they were going.

I looked in my rearview mirror as I drove the route back to the highway.  No one followed me.  I was the only one who made the turn; everyone just kept going straight.  When I got to the highway, there were no other cars on it.  I had three lanes to myself for about twenty minutes.

It was like the other cars were looking for some official to direct them back to the major route.  I kind of chuckled to myself as I sped down the highway, thinking that there were people still traveling bumper to bumper when they could be back on the highway traveling 80 -100 kph faster.  I made it home much sooner than I’d originally thought.

Here’s the thing: It can seem like the right thing to follow what everyone else is doing.  We blend in and it’s comfortable.  But often following the majority keeps us from the better plan God has for us.  We need to keep checking the signs God gives us in His Word to get back on His path and not stay stuck on a detour.

That’s life!

Paul

Question: What do you do to keep from following everyone else?  Leave your comment below.

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Housekeeping is Not that Hard

I’m starting to become a pretty good housekeeper, if I do say so myself.  And by the way, that is saying something!  I’ve never been known for my generous and extensive work around the house.

Becoming a proficient home engineer has kind of snuck up on me.  You see, we’ve had company at our home rather frequently of late, and most of that company has had to do with me.  As a result, my wife Lily has put a little pressure on me to be a nearly equal participant in getting ready to host our guests.

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I’ve been in charge of the downstairs (I’m not sure if she doesn’t trust me to clean the upstairs yet, but that’s just fine with me!).  There is no shame in being a downstairs cleaning aficionado, as I like to call myself. Well, it’s actually the first time I’ve called myself that.

Tidying up the downstairs has its benefits.  It’s where the TV is, so as I clean, I can watch the game on the tube (I mean, flat screen).  You really don’t have to miss anything.  The vacuum cleaner is a little loud, but that’s what we have the volume control on the remote for.

And when you vacuum frequently, it doesn’t take long to know the high traffic areas you have to focus on and those areas you don’t really have to go over (because no one is going to notice that it didn’t get a fresh zoom over from our 15 year old Kenmore canister model).

Speaking of vacuums, I’ve been telling Lily that we needed a Dyson vacuum cleaner since they first came out (that Dyson guy really seems to know what he’s talking about). I had no real reason for wanting one, because I never used the machine.  But now that I’m in charge of the downstairs environmental aesthetics (at least when company’s coming), it’s time I put a little more pressure on.

The other night we had company, and as usual, I was at my station ready to do my part.  Actually, I was watching TV on the couch, and thinking about the exercising I should be doing.  The instructions were sent to me over the loud speaker from upstairs (that’d be Lily speaking loudly to me).

She wanted me to clean first and exercise later.  She has this thing about be prepared in advance for company and not just putting the vacuum away when the door bell rings. I obliged and got my duties done and then hopped on the treadmill to begin my aerobics.

Funny thing, while I was on the treadmill, I’m sure I saw Lily look in the bathroom, and around the basement.  There’s no way she was checking to see if I had done my cleaning to some standard or something.  Then I saw her with a damp cloth rubbing it over surfaces and objects in the room.  I’m not sure what that’s for, but I’m glad its not part of being a downstairs cleaning machine.

Here’s the thing:  There’s more to a role than just a title.  If we say we belong to Christ, the proof is in what we do.  If I have trusted my life to God then my actions will be the evidence that I am following Him.  It’s a good reminder for me to keep checking my actions and not rest on my titles.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question:  How are your actions measuring up to your title?  You can leave a comment below.