outlets

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You Need An Outlet In Your Life (part 3)

How do you know what kind of an outlet you need for a particular time? Should it be something with other people, or is an outlet by yourself good enough?

boy-sitting-alone

These are important questions to answer to be able to have an outlet in your life that does what it’s supposed to do … and that is to provide a release for the stress, pressure, burden, or load of work, and all the emotions that come with these things.

In my last two posts I’ve written about what an outlet is (read here) and how to determine an outlet that works for you (read here).

In this post I want to help you discern the best kind of outlet for you at a particular time.

There are many factors that come into play in determining whether the right outlet should be with other people or on your own.

Personality has a say in this, so you need to know where you get your energy from. Are you recharged from being with others or from being alone? There are personality tests you can take to determine that.

On a basic level, if the weight you find yourself under is generated from within you – that is, you are putting the pressure on yourself – it would probably be best to have an outlet available to you that is more social.

When you feel alone in what you are going through, employing an outlet that is solo in nature is not going to give you that break from yourself that you need.

I’ve been there recently. Most of my burden comes from within, is self-packed and carried. In the midst of it, I had a window in my schedule where I could go biking.

The thought of getting my gear together, mounting my bike on my car and driving to the trails on my own was too much and I couldn’t get myself to do it.

I know I would have been glad once I got there, but being alone in this feeling that I had made it too difficult to get going on that particular day.

It might have been a better choice that day to get a few people together and go for dinner where we could watch the game on a big screen.

On the other hand, there are times that the burden you feel is because of people. In those cases choosing an outlet that isn’t social at all might be the best thing.

Going to a movie might be a bit of a bridge outlet because you can go with someone else but you don’t usually interact throughout the movie … unless you’re a teen and you’re watching a suspense movie with your girlfriend. It might become interactive as she digs her fingernails into your arm when the suspense builds!

Bottom line, it’s complicated and you need options … not just one outlet but several, some that are social and some that aren’t.

Build your list and schedule them if you can. You’ll feel better for it and be able to stand up under your burden.

Here’s the thing: God has made us social beings. It’s important that you don’t just have a consistent devotional life; you need the social interaction with scripture too. We should keep spending time alone with God, but also attend a life group to interact with God’s Word in a more social setting. By the way, there are two outlets for you: personal quiet time with God and life group meetings with others.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What kind of outlets do you gravitate to: solo or social? Leave your comment below.

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You Need An Outlet In Your Life (part 2)

In my last post (you can read it here) I talked about how we need outlets in our lives for when we find ourselves in times of sustained pressure or burdens of some kind.

wall-outlet

But having one outlet isn’t enough; it will never fit all times and situations. You need several outlets.

In a home, we have many outlets in each room because we need the options. We need several outlets because usually at least one is obstructed, behind a couch or a dresser, not accessible.

With regard to outlets in your life, you need several for the variety of situations that come up.

I have a few outlets that I use at different times. One of my main outlets is sports.

But I can’t use the same one all the time. I can’t mountain bike in the winter or when it’s raining out; I can’t play hockey very much in the summer.

So I need other outlets that I can turn to when one outlet won’t work.

What you need to do is sit down and figure out what an outlet would be for you. It needs to be something you really enjoy, something that is readily available.

For me I can play hockey at noon most days of the week throughout the winter. That gives me options that I can co-ordinate with my schedule.

Find something that you enjoy that has some options or flexibility to it. Alternatively, find something you enjoy and put it into your regular schedule.

Many of us think that enjoyment is something that comes after the work gets done, something that’s an option.

But in many of our lives, the work is never done so outlets are not an option if we want to stay healthy mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Make a list of things you enjoy that you can do on your own, and things you enjoy that you can do with others.

If you’re someone who’s mainly focused on work, this will not be an easy step. Take some time; maybe you will have to discover or develop some things you enjoy doing.

Then you need to schedule them. Commit to using an outlet a few times a week, and slot it in to your schedule from week to week where it works best.

Or you join a class or team and just commit to that regular schedule.

Be cautious of only having outlets that only involve you. When the pressure is particularly great, it will be easy to bail out of it, since you’re not letting anyone else down if you do.

Sometimes the motivation isn’t there when it’s just something you are going to do by yourself. I’ve found it difficult in the last couple of weeks to hit the trails on my mountain bike. It seems to take a lot of extra effort to get going when it’s just me. I’ve backed out a few times lately.

Having that list and scheduling your outlets will really help keep you from being crushed under the pressure or burden of life and work.

Here’s the thing: Ask God for His help in finding an outlet and for the motivation to use an outlet when the pressure or burden seems too much. God is faithful and will help us at those times if we seek Him.

That’s Life!

Paul