perception

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Perception Can Either Be Right Or Completely Off

When people have a certain, inaccurate perception of you, it’s really great to prove them wrong. 

perception can either be right or completely off

We form perceptions of people all the time. When we first meet or see someone, we instantly have a perception of them.

We secretly determine what their personality is like or how smart they are. We size them up – are they funny, serious, intriguing or boring? 

And we do all this in a matter of seconds.

Every once in a while my wife, Lily, and I will do some people watching. It makes for some good entertainment, especially if we are just sitting around, like in the food court of a mall.

We might notice a couple talking at the entrance of a store across the way. I’ll give Lily a rundown of their possible conversation. My story will include what the couple are talking about, whether they are arguing or agreeing with each other. 

Sometimes I will provide accents for the two people or what their voices sound like.

Our perceptions are not always right … likely more wrong than right. It doesn’t matter because this all happens before we have met them.

It is one thing to have a perception of someone you are meeting for the first time. It’s a totally different thing to have a perception of someone you have known for years and years … like about 40 years.

That’s what I ran into this weekend. 

Our daughter, Karlie, has just taken training in FST. You probably have no clue what that is – most people don’t. It stands for Fascial Stretch Therapy. 

… And it has nothing to do with the face. 

It does have to do with the most prevalent connective tissue in your body.

Your fascia supports every aspect of movement – muscles, tendons, organs, ligaments and nerves.

FST can increase your flexibility, reduce aches and pains, and improve range of motion. A person trained in FST basically stretches you during a session. 

Well, Karlie has recently started treating clients and loves to improve her skills as much as possible. (You can check out her instagram pics here.)

… So who better to practice on when you are home for Thanksgiving than your family?! 

Let’s just say there was a lot of stretching that happened this past weekend. 

But then there was me – the only one who hadn’t been stretched. 

The perception of the family was that I would be very tight and that my flexibility and range of motion would be dismal. 

I guess all the disparaging talk and the perception of my physical condition got to me. I had Karlie stretch me. 

Ha, turns out their perception was wrong! I am way more flexible and have way more range of motion than both my wife and son. 

So much for perception.

Here’s the thing: Many people have perceptions of God. Their perception is based on things they have heard and people they’ve listened to. Some people form their perception based on something that happened to them. They make up a scenario of God’s involvement in that incident. But these are all perceptions and they may be wrong. To know what God is like, you have to meet Him and have experience with Him. You can start to meet Him by reading the Bible, and have experience with Him by talking with Him (prayer). The more you do these things, the more you will discover what God is really like.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What perception do you have that needs to either be proved true or busted? Leave your comments and questions below.

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Your Perception Of Isolation May Be Wrong

Isolation and social distancing can give the perception that contact and connection is lost.

Your Perception of Isolation May be Wrong

We fear a loss of contact and connection during this pandemic. As a pastor, a big concern of mine is that people – especially those who are more vulnerable – will feel forgotten and alone.

During this time when contact is our enemy, we want to find ways to ease the loneliness. 

I remember playing dodge ball as a kid. There were only a few rules to the game and the bottom line was if the ball made contact with you, you were out. That was it; there was no second chance. It was harsh and you sat on the sideline until a new game began. 

It also meant you had to be in good shape to stay in the game. You had to move and dodge (hence the name of the game) to avoid getting hit. The people who were the most agile, the most flexible, could jump the highest and duck the lowest were the ones who would win the game. 

But as I got older, the rules of the game changed. 

The ball could actually make contact but only if you were holding another ball and it hit that ball and not your body. Then you were safe. Also, if a ball came whizzing towards you and you caught it, you were still in the game even though there was contact made.

The game had evolved to allow some contact under certain conditions to a game that was all about no contact. The changes increased the length of the games and kept more people in the game longer. It was actually pretty good.

So this game, known for its no-contact rule, actually added a whole lot of contact. 

This past week two groups in the city that work with seniors reached out to me. They wanted to bless the seniors in our church by giving them a gift of sorts. Their problem was that they had no means of either contacting random seniors or of distributing the gifts.

Their solution was to use the churches, so our church received a number of gifts from them intended for our seniors.

My problem was that most of our more vulnerable seniors have been avoiding contact during this pandemic and are not yet coming out to church services, so I would need to find a way to distribute all these gifts.

The only thing I could think of was asking our congregation if they would help deliver the gifts to our seniors. 

At church and through our livestream, we asked for volunteers to help deliver these gift packets. It was amazing how many people stepped up to make contact and connect with those who are experiencing isolation and social distancing to a greater degree. 

In the midst of the isolation and social distancing, there is far more contact and connecting happening than we perceive. 

… And as a pastor, it is so encouraging to see!

Here’s the thing: If you are feeling isolated, if you are lacking contact and are feeling forgotten and lonely, God is trying to make contact with you right now. He wants you to know He is with you. Give Him the opportunity to bring you His love and forgiveness. Reach back to Him and connect with God in a personal way through Christ. The perception may be that you are alone but there is a lot more contact and connection right around you than you realize.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What can you do to make contact with someone today? Leave your comments and questions below.

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Don’t Take All Comments At Face Value

You really need to process comments that are made to you and not just take them at face value.

carnival mirror

Sometimes people can make comments that are well-intentioned, but they kind of sting when you hear them. People’s comments can also seem out in left field, but actually have some substance to them.

I just got back from vacation and my second day back in the office someone came in and, as soon as they saw me, said, “Hey, looks like you gained some weight.”

I immediately thought they had read my blog the day before where I wrote about eating too much candy and not exercising enough on my vacation (you can read that one here).

But when I referred to my blog, he had a blank look on his face. I quickly realized the comment was just something he was observing about me.

That stung! – I really did look like I had gained some weight. I had to process the fact that it wasn’t only me who noticed the few extra pounds; everyone else could see it too.

That off-the-cuff comment got me thinking about making plans to take those extra pounds off over the next few weeks. It gave me a little motivation.

The next day, someone else saw me for the first time since I’ve been back, took a very quick look at me and said, “Hey, are you growing your hair a little longer?”

Now this was a wild comment because I had literally just walked in the door after getting my hair cut.

My first thought was that this person was not very observant, but later I reflected on why he might have thought my hair was longer.

Lately I’ve been combing my hair slightly differently and I figured that’s what he noticed. He noticed something was different; he just didn’t know what it was so he assumed it was longer.

Two days after my vacation, people’s perceptions of me have changed: now I’m fat and I’ve got long hair.

They didn’t say that, but some people might think that if those comments had been said to them.

That’s why you need to process the comments you receive from others. You also need to understand the person making the comment.

I know that the person who made the comment about my weight would himself like to put on a little weight. His comment probably was the result of looking at the contrast between what he’s trying to do and what I had accomplished.

I was the fulfillment of his goal … I only wish that could be true.

Sometimes we get all bent out of shape because of what someone says to us. We hold onto it and stew over it and build it up into a huge judgement on us.

It’s better to take the comment and process it so you don’t find yourself in front of one of those carnival mirrors that make you look short and wide … or fat and with long hair!

Here’s the thing: Our own words to ourselves can hinder us. We need to process what we say and think about ourselves. The best resource for that processing is the Bible, because in there you will find what God really thinks of you: He loves you and has a plan for you … and that’s all that matters.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What recent comment do you need to process rather than just believe at face value? Leave your comments below.