present

by

Being Present Is Not As Easy As You Might Think

It should be a no-brainer, but when you are present, you should be present. 

being present is not as easy as you might think

We know that though we can be physically present, our minds can be somewhere completely different. We often call this daydreaming or being distracted.

Not being present can take many forms … like when my kids were little and wanted me to play with them, but I was watching a sporting event on TV.

With my eyes on the TV, watching the game, they’d be diving off the couch onto my back. I managed to wrestle and play while I had one and a half eyes glued to the television.  

It took talent to pull that off, but it’s an example of not being present. 

My wife, Lily, has also caught me not being present … not in wrestling but in conversations.  

Many times she has tried to communicate something important to me over the phone while I have been working on my computer. I guess I’m not good at talking and focussing on a screen at the same time. 

She has asked me something, followed either by a long pause or me asking her to repeat the few words she had just spoken.

She would know I was distracted by something and would often say, “Are you working on your computer?”

Busted again! I would have to take my hands off the keyboard and sit back in my chair to be present in the conversation. 

The same thing happened many times in high school. I remember sitting in the back of history class as the teacher went on about the political climate in the world just before World War I … while I was writing out the lyrics to Elton John songs for my buddy sitting next to me. 

There was no question that I would be marked present for attending history class, but really I was not present at all.

I think it’s a matter of discipline to force ourselves to be attentive and present in the space we are in. 

One might think that this should get easier as we get older, but it doesn’t. 

The other day I was sitting on the sofa at my cottage reading. Yet while I was reading, I found myself thinking about other things.

My thoughts went in a completely different direction from the topic I was looking at with my eyes. In fact, I was thinking about doing three things that had nothing to do with what I was reading. 

I was not present with that book. 

We need discipline to get back to being present. … I picked up a pen and paper and wrote those three things down. 

The simple act of acknowledging those thoughts by writing them down gives your mind the confidence that you will not forget them.

You can get to them later so you can focus on what you are doing now. That’s being present. 

Here’s the thing: This distraction from being present often plagues me when I am spending time with God. I get thoughts of what I need to do that day, or thoughts of projects I’d like to be doing. To get back to being present with God, I write them down to relieve my mind of them and to get back to being attentive to the conversation I am having with the Lord. Try it, it works. 

That’s Life! 

Paul

Question: When do you find being present the hardest? Leave your comments and questions below.

Subscribe to my blog and receive posts like this one to your email weekly.

by

When Someone Is Present It Is Always Special

It makes a big difference in how you feel just knowing someone is present.

when someone is present it is always special

For the last week, my wife has been away and I’ve been on my own.

Lily said she was going to worry about me, but her biggest worry was whether I would eat all my meals at fast food restaurants. Her plan was to stock the freezer with as many meals as she could cook up beforehand.

The day before she left we were talking in the kitchen before dinner. When she checked on the food in the oven I was surprised to see she had two trays of meat cooking in there. 

I asked, “What’s all that for?” and her reply was that she was preparing it all for me to eat while she was away. 

You’d think that was a great sacrifice for her to do that for me. Really her motive was to hopefully keep me from spending money at McDonald’s, Swiss Chalet or my favourite wing place. 

Well, I did eat all the meals she froze for me, but I also ate my share of restaurant food too. 

During the week on my own, I noticed a couple of things.

I certainly had time to do things on my own, what I wanted to do … things just for me. 

But I found that my life has a number of built-in responsibilities, so I didn’t have all that much discretionary time on my hands.

If I wanted to watch a movie at night, I really could choose the movie of my liking. I didn’t have to consider what Lily might like to watch.

But I had a couple of meetings that happened to be in the evenings and I worked late a couple of other nights. That didn’t leave me with many nights I could sit down with a good action flick of my choosing. 

I also found myself doing things that I might not have done if Lily had have been home. Like the night I decided to open my computer after dinner and spend a little time finishing up what I had been working on during the day.

I guess I just had the freedom to do what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it, no questions asked.

But I noticed something else about the week. It was quiet in the house. 

Other than a little tinnitus ringing in my ears, there were no other sounds. There were no sounds of a chair moving in the other room. There was no sound of footsteps on the hardwood upstairs.

The house was very quiet; you could hear every click that the clocks were making. 

I realized then that there is a feeling you have when you know there is someone close by. You don’t have to be in the same room; you don’t have to have a conversation. There is something special about having someone present in the same house.

Here’s the thing: We often think of God having a thunderous voice, possibly a harsh voice. But when He wanted to talk to one prophet, He talked to him in a whisper. It’s not easy to catch what God might be saying to you through scripture or while you are praying. You really have to pay attention and listen carefully. It’s like He whispers to you. The reason God speaks in whispers is because He is close by. God is near you. And it is special having someone present with you all the time. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you appreciate about the presence of someone in your life? Leave your comments and questions below.

Subscribe to my blog and receive posts like these delivered to your email inbox each week. 

by

It’s The Worst Part Of Christmas

What’s the worst part of Christmas? … I know it’s not what you would usually think of at this time of year, but I was faced with something I don’t really like and that’s when I started wondering. 

worst part of Christmas

I’m sure that everyone has their own idea of the worst part of Christmas. For some people it might be the stress of entertaining. For others it’s all the gatherings. For most children it’s probably the waiting.

For me, maybe the worst part of Christmas is the wrapping of presents. 

I’ve just never really liked it. Much like shopping, it seems to suck the life out of me. After spending an hour wrapping four or five presents, I’m tired and exhausted.

Yes, I know some of you are questioning what takes me so long to wrap presents.  

Maybe it’s my dislike of the task that drags it out for me. I just can’t wrap presents quickly.

I liked it about twenty years ago when people would put a present in a bag with drawstrings. It was like a hoody for presents! Wrapping took no time. 

Sadly, it seems that that fad has faded and we are left with the good old wrapping paper and tape.

When I was a kid, my aunt wrapped presents the best. They were perfect, and perfectly coordinated with the bow. … I can never seem to get the corners sharp or the paper tight around the present. 

Some people are able to do a nice job of wrapping a present, but they cheat. They use so much tape that it’s near impossible to unwrap their gift. Those people have lost the focus that it’s the gift and not the wrapping that is the most important thing. 

However, a well-wrapped gift is sure inviting … it’s just so painful to do. Sometimes you have to work with a subject that is an odd size or shape, making the task even more difficult and painstaking. 

At least the wrapping paper creators have done one thing that is nice. They have put little guidelines on the back side of the paper to help with cutting. There’s still skill involved because, even with the grid pattern, I can’t seem to cut a straight line.

And then there is the aftermath. After you’ve worked so hard and long at wrapping the gift, it is opened in a second or two … unless you doubled down on the tape.

I remember the days in the living room of the home I grew up in. Mom stressed with every present that was being opened, pleading, “Save the paper!” 

She was so ahead of her time, wanting to save the trees. What an environmentalist she was.

Now that paper hits a green garbage bag before the plastic shrink wrap is ripped off the box.

Wrapping presents – it’s the worst part of Christmas. Let’s bring back present hoodies.

Here’s the thing: I think the worst part of Christmas for Mary and Joseph might have been right after Jesus was born. I imagine they looked around at where they were, and at their baby who didn’t look any different than any other baby. It had been a hard and difficult nine months. Nothing seemed special about this child. Maybe they questioned the angel visits they had both had. But then the shepherds came in. They told the story of what the angels had said and sung about their little baby. And then looking at the face of Jesus, Mary and Joseph knew God had done this. They were actually holding this gift. Make sure you are holding God’s gift this Christmas. You can’t hold Him in your arms, rather hold Him in your heart. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Questions: What’s the hardest part of Christmas for you? Leave your comments and questions below.

by

My Easter Present

I got a present for Easter this year. It was sitting on our doorstep.

We don’t usually exchange gifts at Easter, though this year Lily’s birthday did fall on Easter weekend, so she got some cards and a few gifts.

Traditionally we used to give our kids some chocolate Easter eggs when they were young – we’d even send them on a hunt to find them.  

The present at the front door, however, was an actual present with a card. It was hanging on our doorknob. But when I took a closer look in the bag, I realized it wasn’t an Easter present for me after all.  

The present was a Hulk action figure … I’m confident I haven’t taken up playing with toy dolls. 

There was a card in an envelope that gave a little more insight into the mystery of the present at our door. There was a name on the envelope, but we didn’t recognize it. 

Somehow, whoever delivered the present thought someone else lived in our house, or they made a mistake on the house. 

Since we’re the original owners of our home and have lived here for the last 23 years, I don’t think they were mistaken on who lived in this house.  

Our guess was that the present was delivered to the wrong address. 

In the process, I wondered who gives presents at Easter … I don’t mean some form of chocolate; I mean a present like you would get on your birthday. 

Then Lily and I remembered how busy the roads were earlier that day. The malls were packed with shoppers. 

We learned later through a Facebook post that Easter shopping is incredibly busy, rivalling that of Christmas. 

I was feeling a little like Sherlock Holmes as I began using my keen detective senses to deduce who this present belonged to.

I opened up my computer and typed the family name in the search line. I was not sure if I had the spelling correct because there was an “o” that could have been an “a”. 

I knew at once I was on to something when several suspects popped up immediately online, all from far away places through. … I can see someone going to the wrong house in a city, but it’s hard to believe someone missing the house by a whole country. 

I narrowed my search to my city and bingo, there it was: the name and address of the people this present belonged to. I knew immediately this was them because their house was one street over from ours. 

I surmised how the mistake had been made. Our two streets are next to each other and are both cul-de-sacs that look similar. 

And when I went to take the present over to the rightful owner, their house was the third house in on the left, just like ours.

A great mystery had been solved … but no Easter present for me … or was there?

Here’s the thing: We like gifts and look for any excuse to get them, but we already have a great gift at Easter. You see, at Christmas God hands us a present all wrapped up – it’s beautiful, it’s hopeful, our eyes are attracted to it. At Easter we get to open up the present. Christ comes out of the wrapping, having died for our sins, and then come alive. He’s our present. Take Him by faith and He is yours, and you are His forever more. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What did you give or get this Easter? Leave your comments below. 

by

How To Secure Perks In Life

When we sign up for things, we often take note of the perks that go along with them. It might be the key to the staff room, or a special parking spot – maybe even one with your name on it.

photo

Other perks might be a membership to an exclusive club, or an expense account, or a company car.  Perks are nice; they are those little somethings that make you feel special, important or valued.

But when you sign up for being a dad, you don’t think of the perks you get with that. In fact, when you start out, you don’t even think there are any perks.

There are the 2 am marathons of walking around the family room trying to soothe your little one back to sleep. There are the diapers to be changed, feedings, and the constant questions that never end.

We worry about them, spend money on them, give advice to them, give up our free time for them … do more worrying about them, coax them to spend time with us, more money, more worry, more money.

By the time your kids are in their mid-twenties, there’s been a lot of money and worry that’s gone into them. Perks? They’re not high on the list.

But the other day I got a perk. My kids, Karlie and Mike, took me to a Blue Jays game! It was their birthday present to me. They bought the tickets, and bought me a T-shirt so I would match them in their Blue Jay attire.

This was a far cry from the hockey mini stick Mike made for me years ago (autographed by him). And it’s more than the little cardboard box with stickers Karlie made forever ago for me to put my receipts in. (I still have both of those presents, by the way.)

This wasn’t even something Lily bought for me and they just put their names on it. No, this was something they thought up, something they knew I would like, and something they made arrangements for on their own.

This was a genuine perk. We took in a meal at “Real Sports” just outside the Air Canada Centre, and I got to hang out with my two kids who live in two different cities now.

There was excitement: Mike and I caught up to and beat our Go Train to get on it two stops later, with mere seconds to spare. Karlie had to tell a guy to go away on the subway after he wouldn’t leave her side.

Oh, and there was another perk that day: The Jays walk off win in the 10th inning on an exciting play at the plate!

I never thought of perks when I became a dad. But now it seems like there are some perks, and I have a good feeling there will be more to come.

Here’s the thing: When you sign up with Christ for forgiveness and a relationship with Him, you don’t think of perks along the way. But when you start to take the focus off yourself, your problems and frustrations, and instead concentrate on loving Christ and seeking His will each day, what you find is, He helps you with things you’re not prepared for or equipped to handle. And those are perks you can look forward to every day.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What’s the last perk you received from your kids?  You can leave your comment below.

by

Are You Missing Out On A Christmas Event?

Christmas! How’d you like the sound of that word in mid November? Does it send shivers down your spine? Does it make your heart beat a little faster (in a good way, not a heart attack way)?

BestBuy shopping line

I had a little foretaste of Christmas this past weekend. It came completely out of the blue. There were no lights, decorations or canned Christmas music. But there was no mistake, this was a taste of Christmas to come.

My wife, Lily, had seen an ad for a product we wanted to get for one of our kids for Christmas (I can’t tell you for whom or I’d have to kill you). The product has to stay a mystery as well, but I will tell you that Best Buy was involved.

Lily noticed that this particular item was on sale, and rather than taking our chances closer to Christmas, she suggested we go and pick it up now.

“Christmas shopping on November 9, that’s crazy!” I thought. Then she suggested that I go and purchase it. Me, doing Christmas shopping in November? Doing Christmas shopping before mid December? There had to be a mistake.

But I had heard her correctly. So, off I went to wrestle me an early Christmas present. I pictured the store to be busy, people everywhere, pushing, shoving, trying to get the last item on the shelf.

But when I walked into Best Buy, it was all orderly, quiet, uncluttered by people or displays of merchandise. I thought to myself, “This has got to be the easiest Christmas shopping I’ve ever done!”

No pressure, no heavy coat, it was easy to get around the store. I thought, “Maybe I should start shopping early every year. What if I had all my Christmas shopping done by the end of November? … on second thought, it’s not going to happen.

Just as I was starting to feel good about my early Christmas shopping, I spotted a line of people. The farther I looked, the longer it got. I noticed that most of the people coming in the store were going directly into that line.

It was massive; the line of people curled around the length of the store. I wanted to avoid it in case there was something catching in that line. I stayed clear, but I kept my eye on it, in case it got closer to me.

I asked someone what was going on, and was told it was a video game exchange. She said something about bringing in two old games and getting some discount on a new one.

As I looked at the people in line out of the corner of my eye, it looked like they were in good cheer, like they were happy to be in that line. They seemed to be excited about what they were going to get.

I kind of felt like I was missing out, not part of it, like I was an observer and not a participant. It almost made me want to go home, grab a couple of old video games (my son’s, don’t tell him), and come back to join in on what everyone else was doing.

But I don’t like lines, and I probably wouldn’t like the video game anyway. Since I wasn’t motivated, I headed straight for the exit – good thing the cash line was empty.

Here’s the thing: Church should be a foretaste of heaven, with fellowship, joyful singing, gratefulness, connecting with God. If church isn’t a glimpse of heaven for you, are you participating in such a way to bring it about?

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you need to motivate you to make your church experience a foretaste of heaven? Leave your comment below.