relationship

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Just The Two Of Us From Now On

This morning when I got up, it felt different, like now there’s just the two of us.

just the two of us from now on

I’m not sure why that feeling hit me now because Lily and I have been empty-nesters for years.

It might have been that we had the kids home for Thanksgiving weekend and this morning there was just the two of us.

It could be that the house is fuller when the kids arrive – there’s a son-in-law, a girlfriend and a dog. 

When they all leave, it feels like … and then there was two.

In 1978 the rock group, Genesis, recorded an album called “… and then there were three …” In the late sixties the group consisted of five band members and by 1971 they had the lineup of musicians that would make them famous: Tony Banks, Mike Rutherford, Peter Gabriel, Steve Hackett and Phil Collins. 

However, this group didn’t stay together. A few years later, their lead singer, Peter Gabriel, left the band. Instead of replacing him with another singer, Phil Collins, the drummer, took over singing responsibilities along with playing the drums. They continued as a group of four. 

A few short years later in 1977, their guitarist, Steve Hackett, left the band. With both Gabriel and Hackett gone, the band’s next album was titled “… and then there were three …”

Like a band, it’s natural for the members of the family band to depart, spread their wings, get involved in new ventures. But this morning there was something more to how I was feeling than that.

Normally Lily and I are quite used to doing things just the two of us. This summer we spent a good deal of time at our cottage together. We usually do things just the two of us, whether it’s going out to dinner or doing something else. 

But Lily just retired at the end of September. So now it’s not like it’s just the two of us, it really is just the two of us all day long.

For years I would leave for work in the morning and be gone all day. This past year, though I was retired and at home, Lily was working and spent most days locked up in her home office. We were still separated all day long.

This morning when I got up, and the kids were gone and the house was quiet, and there was just the two of us, something was different. 

Lily and I are now doing the same thing – nothing. 

We don’t have different itineraries or schedules or even places to be. We now have the same job. As Lily’s new T-shirt says, “busy doing nothing”.

It just kind of hit me. For the first time in our marriage it really is just the two of us. 

There is no one or nothing that stands between us. There isn’t a time she is busy with someone else or some responsibility. We’re on the same schedule now.

I think I just got some inspiration for my kitchen sign board. 

Here’s the thing: It’s important to have someone about whom you can say, “it’s just the two of us”. No matter what your relationship status is, you can have that “just the two of us” kind of relationship with Jesus. He died on a cross so that He could have a relationship like that with you. So be sure to treat your relationship with Jesus like a close, “just the two of us” relationship … or decide to start a “just the two of us” relationship with Jesus. Pray and ask Him; He is willing. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: Who do you have a “just the two of us” relationship with? Leave your comments and questions below.

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Your World May Be Shrinking And You Don’t Know It

Right about now we all need to do what we can to prevent our world from shrinking.

your world may be shrining and you don't know it

Do you remember when your mother would shrink you new blue jeans?

I remember going to the Levi store and putting down the outrageous amount of $13 for a pair of Levi 501’s – that was a lot of money for jeans! 

Some people could fit into their new jeans right off the rack, but I could never find a length that was right for me. I would have to take an inch or two off the length every time. 

It was tricky though because they didn’t come pre-shrunk. So if you hemmed them before you washed them, you ended up with floods … also known these days as the stylish length for young adults living in Toronto.

My mom was notorious for making my jeans into the 2020’s length back in the 1970’s.

So I wouldn’t hem my pants right away. I would wash them several times … and when I say “I” what I mean is I would allow my mother to wash my jeans a few times before they were hemmed.

Then I would do the hemming myself because I couldn’t trust my mother to keep my pants from showing my ankles to the world.

Just like we don’t want our clothing to shrink, we also need to make sure our world doesn’t shrink.

But these days it’s easy to let that happen. We have kept our bubbles small and closed and gradually, slowly we’ve gotten used to a smaller world. 

We’ve gone fewer places and done fewer things. Our circles of friendships are shrinking and we essentially are living in a smaller world. 

If we let this happen to ourselves, we will pay for it. We will become old before our time. 

I’ve watch seniors for years and this is the natural progression in life.

We start out small in life and then we start to grow. Everything about us expands – our bodies, contacts, influence, etc. But at some point, we stop getting larger … or maybe just our body size keeps expanding. 

At that point we’ve turned the corner and our lives begin to shrink. 

As seniors get older, their lives have a pattern of shrinking. Their days becomes filled with fewer activities. They travel less and less; they don’t venture out as far. The older they get, the smaller their world gets.

I’ve seen this as a pattern in most people. But it doesn’t really become all that noticeable until that senior reaches advanced ages. 

With what we are experiencing these days, I wonder if we will trigger a shrinking world pattern at younger and younger ages. 

It’s worth looking at your world right now and, if you’re not over eighty, maybe take some steps to keep your world from shrinking too quickly.

Here’s the thing: Your view of God or your relationship with God could be shrinking as well. Though our world might be shrinking, God is the same yesterday, today and forever. He is not shrinking. So as you consider what you can do to keep your world from closing in, consider expanding your understanding and your relationship with God. That’s one area of your life that never has to shrink. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What in your life have you allowed to shrink and what are you going to do about it? Leave your comments and questions below.

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He Was Just One Step Behind

We are all just one step ahead or one step behind someone else.

de grasse bolt

We are either in a position to help someone who’s coming up behind us or to seek the advice of someone who’s already doing what we are about to do.

The other day I watched the Olympics 100 metre final with Usain Bolt and our Canadian kid, Andre De Grasse.

He pronounces his name “De Grass” but it should be pronounced “Degrassi” because of the Canadian TV show that made the name so popular. Even Usain Bolt, in an interview after the run, referred to him as “Degrassi”.

The whole way through the race Usain was just a step ahead of Andre. When it was over, they congratulated each other like big brother, little brother.

There was the sense that this young kid will be stepping into the shoes of the great runner, Usain Bolt.

This isn’t something that only athletes do.

All of us have opportunities to glean from people who are just a step ahead of us or help those who are coming up behind us.

I recently got a phone call from a friend who had a heart attack a couple of months ago. He had heard from my brother that I had had one four years ago. He wanted to ask me some questions as he was a step behind me.

We shared our stories of how the attacks went down, and then compared the medications we were taking. He had questions about how he was feeling and the side effects to some of the drugs.

He wanted to know what the future would hold for him, and I was enough of a step ahead to be able to give him some comfort.

It was interesting, though, as I reflected back. At first, all I remembered were the positive things – I remembered how easy the recovery was.

But as we talked and he shared some of his concerns, I remembered having some of those same thoughts. His experience jogged my memory.

But from my experience, I was able to dispel some of his concerns that could cause anxiety. Looking at me, one step ahead, he could have hope that it was going to be alright for him, too.

You know, it’s great to have that kind of relationship, where both people sense they are not alone, that someone else knows what they are going through. There is a feeling that you are part of a brotherhood, a fraternity that shares a common trait or quest or experience.

There are things that only those who’ve experienced what you’ve experienced can share together.

It gives you a sense that there are others who understand you, identify with how you feel, and know the kinds of thoughts you have, who you can go to to work through some of your questions.

Andre De Grasse and Usain Bolt, both draped in their reflective flags, walked arm in arm, while Usain whispered some words of encouragement to the man who was just one step behind him.

… and you know those words were good by the smiles on both of their faces.

Here’s the thing: We call this relationship mentoring and, no matter what you are experiencing in life, there is probably someone close by you who’s one step ahead or one step behind. Seek them out; it’s how we go forward, in life and with God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: Who has been your greatest mentor? Leave your comments below.