relationships

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I Gained Weight Just Being There

What is it with conferences that you automatically feel about 10 pounds heavier when you come home?

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Is there something in the water or the air that adds weight to your body? I’m not sure what it is but I don’t like it.

I don’t think I’ve ever come back from a seminar or conference feeling like I even broke even in the weight department.

Is there anyone out there who knows my pain?

This weekend my wife, Lily, and I flew to the metropolis of Steinbach, Manitoba for a church conference.

I only had a glass of water on the plane but I was sure I felt a little heavier as I walked into the Winnipeg airport.

The feeling that I put on weight in all the wrong places didn’t go away since the first thing we did when we pulled away from the airport was drive directly to a restaurant.

It certainly didn’t help that after lunch we drove an hour, then sat in an orientation session for another hour, and then guess what we did?

We had another meal!

There is no way my body had time to process all the food I’d eaten at 1 pm. I don’t think an athlete with a metabolism that’s fine-tuned like a violin could process what I’d packed away for lunch and be ready, waiting and eager to partake in evening morsels at about 5 pm.

Conferences are good for two things: long meetings where you sit down and don’t move much for a couple of hours and breaks where you stand in one spot, usually close to a table that has some kind of food on it.

You repeat this process only to break it up with large meals and spending time in a hotel room that’s about twenty feet long.

Is it any wonder that by the end of the first day I felt like I was waddling into my hotel and crashing onto my bed, almost bouncing Lily off the other side? (… just kidding about that one.)

Day two I had a plan. This time I wasn’t going to take in any snacks between meals … but the fruit looked pretty good on the tables so I stayed close by and ate an apple.

I thought I needed to walk around more because in just two days my legs felt like they were covered in cellulite – can a guy even get cellulite? … at the very least, I’m sure I had lost all muscle tone.

At my age you don’t rebound quickly either. No, weight that only takes one day to gain will take a week to lose!

The thing is you don’t even realize you’re gaining weight when you are there. It’s like your body adjusts to the new weight overnight and you wake up feeling like you’re carrying the same poundage as the day before, which you’re not.

I think you have to be vigilant; you have to have a plan. You need to be disciplined to fight the conference convexity (look that one up).

So today I plan on no snacks at any break. I’m spending my time walking around the halls … maybe that will work.

Here’s the thing: Sometimes just being in a certain environment can have a negative spiritual impact on you. It’s not that you are doing anything wrong, but where you are is not generally conducive to spiritual health. You need a plan to ensure you can stay connected to God and are able to maintain a Christ-like attitude and posture.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you find difficult to maintain when you are away? Leave your comment below.

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How Children Develop

I have watched my children grow up and I have enjoyed every stage of their development. Now that my children have reached the stage that they are out on their own, I’m enjoying that part too.

IMG_1648It’s good on a couple of levels. It’s nice to have my house to myself … with my wife, of course. It’s also great to see them stand on their own two feet and makes me proud that, in all those years, our parenting has worked.

Lily and I actually accomplished something! I know parents since Adam and Eve have achieved this marvel, but to each parent it’s truly an amazing revelation.

… I think my parents were in shock for a lot longer than most.

But as much as our children have exercised their wings and been flying on their own, it’s not like they have it all together.

It’s just impossible for them to leave home, set up their own dwelling and be able to have it all together like an adult of, let’s say, late 50’s (very late).

The other night my wife and I were staying with our daughter in her home. In the past three years we have gone from sleeping on the floor when we’ve been there to sleeping on an air mattress.

This time, however, we were upgraded again to a sofa bed. My daughter – I’m so proud of her – we actually slept on something that resembles a real bed in her home!

But as happy as I was to sleep on her new sofa bed, she has to get some pillows!

I didn’t get the soundest of sleeps because the pillow I was provided with was so thin my head was barely lifted above the mattress.

You know how those microfibre blankets are so thin, yet provide a great deal of warmth? Well, it doesn’t work with pillows. Micro-thin pillows are an oxymoron for no pillow at all.

I had the feeling that I was sleeping downhill. Every time I turned in bed I had to fold the pillow in half just so the blood wouldn’t rush to my head. When I changed my sleeping position I kind of woke up in order to keep my melon from slipping off my origami cushion.

I have already reverted to engaging my parental mode by thinking of how I might purchase new pillows for her, which would actually not be for her but for me.

I used to buy her pillows when she lived at home and never thought anything of it. Now that she has her own home, I’m still thinking of making sure she has adequate night gear for her visitors.

It’s like she is in this quasi-state of being all grown up but not fully capable of looking after herself. But as her Dad, I kind of think I’ll always see her a little like that.

I’m going to resist buying that pillow, even if I have to use duct tape to keep that darn pillow folded.

Here’s the thing: As Christians we are loved by God. He loves us just the way we are, but more than that, He loves to see us progress, grow and become more mature in our faith. Though God would like us to have it all together and be just like His Son, He is patient, gracious and loving no matter what stage we are at. God loves you and roots for you to keep on growing in Christ. Let’s keep growing.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What is it about your maturing process that makes you thankful God is patient with you? Leave your comment below.

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I’ve Got Nothing To Write About

This morning I have nothing to write about. It doesn’t happen all that often, but sometimes I just can’t think of anything to tackle.

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I did start to type out a few hundred words on an idea, but it kind of fizzled and so I abandoned it. Other than that, I have nothing for this post.

I’ve sat listening to the sound of silence for close to an hour now.

Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel wrote a song called “The Sound of Silence”, but I’m not trying to comment on our inability to communicate clearly with one another, as some have suggested the song is about.

I will tell you that, as far as silence goes, there really isn’t any. There is always noise of some sort.

There is the woosh of the furnace starting up. There’s the sound of wind as the warm air is forced through the air ducts and out the vents in our house.

Even when that has stopped and you can barely detect the tick tick of a clock somewhere in the house, there is this noise in my ears, sort of like faint static between radio stations.

It reminds me of an Emerson Lake and Palmer concert I went to in 1977. It was an outside affair at CNE stadium in Toronto and, though I was halfway back from the stage, the music left my ears ringing for three days.

… Nothing has jogged my memory or pricked a thought for me to write down – well, other than to document my inability to find something to write about.

I kind of feel like I’m in a Seinfeld episode, the TV comedy show which focussed mostly on the interactions of four characters.

Seinfeld was on the air for nine years – not bad for a show about nothing.

There is a part of me that just wants to stop and go and do something else right now. I’m getting a tad bit hungry and I could really use a little breakfast.

Not long ago, in my silence, I heard my wife upstairs and I’m drawn to know what she’s doing at this moment.

The problem I have with leaving the couch and my iPad, for either of these two worthy endeavours, is that I won’t be closer to having written a blog. And I need to write a blog this morning. This is the time I’ve set aside to write and I might not have time later this week.

My wife tells me about people on social media who just post stuff they are doing at the moment, like that they are upset at their child, or they are watching TV or what they are eating for a meal – like anyone cares.

Well, I think I’ve just written a blog post like that. As Seinfeld would say, “not that there’s anything wrong with that.”

But I guess my silence has ended up producing something in me, like a “vision that was planted in my brain, still remains, within the sound of silence.”

Here’s the thing: There are times when it is difficult to hear God’s voice. Our temptation is to listen to what’s inside us and attribute it as being from God. But we should seek confirmation from God’s Word and God’s people before we attribute it to God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: When have you felt silenced? What did you do about it?  Leave your comment below.

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Apparently I’m A Binge Drinker!

The other day I had a conversation with my wife, Lily, and she called me a binge drinker. I know some of you are now eager to hear some deep, dark secret of mine. Well, don’t start salivating like one of Pavlov’s dogs for some juicy morsels just yet. Let me explain …

I was complaining to Lily about how much water I have been drinking lately and how it’s interrupting my life. The thing is, the more water you drink, the more you find yourself visiting the washroom.

I used to use the facilities only a few times a day like when I got up in the morning, at noon, around dinner time and at bed time.

Not now! I’m hitting the john about every hour or so and it’s all because I’ve been drinking more water. Since we are supposed to drink more than most of us actually do, I got an app that helps me track how much water I drink. So naturally, I’m drinking more now.

In fact, I’ll have four glasses of water from the time I get up in the morning until the end of breakfast. When Lily heard this she shook her head and said, “You’re a binge drinker” … and I guess I am in a way.

So I started thinking, “When did it become so difficult to live that I’m not even drinking my water at the proper intervals?”

It used to be that we got up in the morning and didn’t think about when we drank water; we just did it because we were thirsty. Now it seems I need to read up a little more on the subject because my water bingeing is probably not that healthy for me.

I can still walk a straight line. I can even touch my finger to my nose and I never poke myself in the eye.

People don’t tell me that I’m slurring my words after I’ve had a couple of quick glasses of water either.

But I guess I still need some help because I found out I’m drinking too much water at meal times. My daughter tells me I shouldn’t be drinking water any closer than 45 minutes before a meal.

My question is, “How did people who lived 100 years ago survive?!” I’m sure they didn’t know this stuff back then. I understand that people didn’t live as long as they do now; maybe that’s why?

I think I may need a few lessons on breathing too. Apparently I breathe out of my mouth more than I should.

I wish I had a computer chip in my brain that could be reprogrammed so that I breathe and drink properly. When I look around it amazes me how many people seem to be living fine and they don’t follow any kind of breathing rules, or drinking rules for that matter.

All I know is that my mother taught me how to drink when I was a baby and I’ve been doing it ever since. And as for breathing, well I think a doctor smacked me on the butt when I entered this world and I haven’t stopped taking a breath yet.

Here’s the thing: We can be Christians with very little understanding of what that means. But if you want your life to be effective, then getting some special training is necessary. Don’t neglect the training you can get through the study of God’s Word.

That’s Life,

Paul

Question: Where could you use some focused spiritual training? Leave your comment below.

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There Are Too Many Voices In My Head

Sometimes when you tell people your problems, they make stuff up. They don’t have a better solution to your predicament, but they come across as experts anyway.

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Even when you tell them what remedy you’re trying, they disagree and give you a fix that you don’t want to have to resort to.

People do this all the time.

Recently I got a new pair of skates (you can read that post here). They are awesome skates but there is one issue that I was having with them.

They were rubbing and causing about a 2 1/2” long rug burn on each ankle.

It wasn’t too bad the first time it happened, but then I played hockey a couple of days later before the rug burns had healed. That time it kind of opened the wounds up and made them a mess.

If you know anything about rug burns, they take a long time to heal – longer than a straight cut. So the next time I played, the scabs quickly opened up and it was very sore to play at first until I got used to it.

I knew I needed to do something or they would never get better … well, at least until after the season.

My solution was bandaids that were long and padded. I found some at the drugstore that were four inches long. I hoped that covering and cushioning my ankles would stop the disaster they had become.

I figured all I had to do was get the skin healed up. The skin would get tougher so that this situation wouldn’t happen again.

The next time I played I tried out my bandaids. Surprise, surprise – they worked like a charm!

There was a little blood but it was minimal.

This is when all the experts came to my rescue. As I was taking off the bandaids, the guys in the dressing room turned into Dr. Bob or something.

They all had solutions. My ankles still looked pretty messy so they didn’t think my solution would work.

The “back of a pack of matches” physicians had to give me their second, third, and fourth opinions. “Wear socks”, one said. Another one said, “Cut the foot part off a sock and just wear the ankle portion”.

Others agreed with the diagnosis and said there was no other way. “You have to put something over your ankles.”

I disagreed but smiled and said, “We will see.” They all trashed my solution.

Well, I’ve been doing the bandaid thing for a month now. I’ve stopped wearing one on my right ankle and it’s crazy – like magic, the skin has toughened up and I have no more issues!

The other ankle is almost ready to go. The next skate I’ll take the bandaid off and give it a shot.

Maybe Dr. Silcock does know best after all. … I’m sure glad I didn’t cut up socks and wear them like sweat bands around my ankles!

Here’s the thing: Other people will be the loudest voices in your life and it will be easy to listen to them. They are well-meaning voices and they may even have good ideas for you to follow. But the best voice to listen to is the still, small voice of God. It might be hard to hear God’s voice over all the other voices, but if you listen closely you will hear Him and He will give you the best advice hands down!

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you hear God’s voice over other voices? Leave your comment below.

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Facebook Just Sucked Thirty Minutes Of Life Out Of Me!

 

I just spent a half hour doing nothing on Facebook.

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Most people know that Facebook sucks you in and keeps dangling the carrot in front of you to stay connected, but I’m kind of new to the Facebook scene. I think I’ve only had friends for about a year now. I used to be a loner.

At that time all my friends were through my wife. She was my entire source of friends until I decided to branch out on my own.

Last year I finally broke down and got myself some friends. The thing is, I’m not that good of a friend. I don’t go on Facebook enough to know what my friends are doing or up to.

I keep getting emails that let me know what I’ve missed since I’ve been away. It’s usually a few notifications, maybe a friend request and a poke.

I don’t even know what a poke is.

The thing is, I don’t have time to go through all the stuff that’s posted on my home page … and truthfully, with some of the stuff, I don’ t want to either.

They say – whoever “they” are –  that you have time for what’s important to you. That may be true for me.

Now I’m not saying that my friends are not important. No, they are important; it’s just some of the stuff that gets posted doesn’t really interest me.

It’s possible that my friends are not that interesting and that’s why I’m not getting stuff on my home page that draws me in.

But that’s not really it either. I just don’t go on Facebook that much.

There is always something else I could be doing or should be doing that keeps me from sticking my head in the Facebook world.

But this morning I was scrolling the apps on my phone and saw a number 5 beside my Facebook app.

My first thought was, “I have a little time. I’ll get rid of that little red number”, but when I went inside there were a number of videos and pictures that were staring right at me.

I wasn’t in a hurry and I didn’t have anything that was pressing, so I started to scroll.

I did learn a few things, like that David Bowie died of cancer. I saw some motocrosser do some amazing tricks with his bike, and I watched 19 construction works try to corral a power trowel that got away on a freshly poured slab of cement.

I’m not sure any of that is going to help me today. I doubt I’ll be able to use any of this info in a sermon … well, maybe the cement workers and the trowel – there’s got to be an illustration there!

The one good thing about the half hour I spent on Facebook this morning is that it’s a lot like Kentucky Fried Chicken: once you have the experience, you don’t need to go back for a while.

I’m sure my friends don’t mind; there are plenty of other people who stay glued to their walls.

… It was nice to see a pic of a buddy with Bobby Orr though.

Here’s the thing: When you think of how much time you spend on things like Facebook, LinkedIn, and other social media, do you find it hard to squeeze some time in your day to read the Bible? Here’s a challenge for you: Make 2016 a year you read through the whole Bible, and get God’s perspective on the world.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How much time a day do you spend on social media? Leave your comment below.

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My Goal Setting Disaster

There is something about the beginning of a new year that sparks an urge in many of us to set goals or think of plans for the months ahead. New Year’s resolutions are at the top of people’s minds, with dreams of what the coming year will bring, and an anticipation of making those dreams come true.

For the last few years I’ve been following a plan to set my goals. I’m not naturally a goal setter; on my own, I’m more spur of the moment, but since that doesn’t jive with my world, I force myself to plan.

However, this year I’m having an issue right out of the gate. I’ve decided not to purchase the plan I’d been following in recent years; instead I’m going to try to set my goals with the materials I already have and the process I’m now familiar with.

The problem with that is it is now up to me to get going. I don’t have email reminders and links to motivational videos that press me into making time to get my goals down on paper in a manner that is realistic but challenging for the year.

Having a coach or trainer who encourages me to get going and to follow through has helped in the past, but this year I have to be coach, trainer and student.

I can do it, but there are times I feel a little schizophrenic, or like I’m having conversations with another part of myself – like the guy in the old movie, Taxi Driver. He stood in front of a mirror and started talking to his reflection, saying “Who are you looking at? You looking at me?”

I know I can get past this, and move myself on to set goals this year, but the other problem is time.

I’ve had a very busy Christmas season this year. Yes, I called it a “season” because, for me, there is about a six week span that is pretty much completely focused on Christmas.

I really haven’t had any down time to make room for setting goals. Normally there is a bit of a lull between Christmas and the first few days of January before it’s back to the regular pace.

I didn’t get that lull this year.

To do my goal setting the way I’ve been doing it the last few years, I need about thirty minutes each day for five days to pull it all together.

I’m not seeing that time this next week, and I’m away for most of the week after that.

It might not be until the end of January that I have the time to clear sufficient space in my life to set some goals. I don’t really like that plan, but it might be my only option.

On the other hand, though I feel overloaded, and like I don’t have a window of time to set my goals, I really only need thirty minutes a day. I should be able to squeeze thirty minutes into the next five days if I make it a goal.

Look, I’ve already set one goal!

Here’s the thing: The beginning of a year is a great time to make commitments of how you want to grow in your relationship with Christ for the coming year. It’s easy to put off; it’s easy to think it’s too late. But the best thing to do is decide right now when you will make your spiritual growth commitment for this year and then keep that date.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you find hardest about setting goals? Leave your comment below.

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I Can’t Believe I Forgot that Event!

How can you forget an event you had planned for and were looking forward to? … You might do that if you were very busy and it was just one of many things you had to do.

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Well, I did that when I had nothing else to do. And it wasn’t like I remembered part way through and was able to just get there late. I didn’t think of it until it was over!

It was New Year’s Day, our daughter was in town and there was an OHL hockey game scheduled. Being the chaplain of the team, I’m kind of expected to show up to games.

I usually make arrangement for tickets the week of a game, but with the holidays things got messed up. So just two days before the game, I called a guy and arranged to get three tickets.

The tickets would be waiting for me at the main gate … They’re probably still there waiting for me.

I was looking forward to going with Lily and Karlie. We didn’t have anything else to do or anywhere else to go, so it was perfect.

New Year’s Day was a pretty lazy affair. I went to see Star Wars in an empty theatre with my son, took an afternoon nap, and worked on my sermon.

I was looking for something to do, wanting something to do before Lily suggested something that I didn’t want to do.

She suggested that we play a game … and in hindsight you’d think that would have triggered thoughts of the hockey game we had tickets to.

Since I’m not a fan of playing games, and since I had nothing else to do, I decided it would be a good time to put the winter tires on the car … I didn’t really want to change the tires but it was something that needed to get done.

After that task was finished, I checked in with Lily and Karlie playing a game, each of them trying to beat the other and beat their own scores.

That didn’t even jiggle loose any memory of the hockey game from the far regions of my brain.

I then decided it would be a good time to rent a movie. After checking out all the possibilities on TV and having to make a tough decision on a rental, I finally settled down to my movie.

The first couple of scenes came on and I don’t even know what it was, but all of a sudden I remembered – WE HAD TICKETS TO THE GAME TONIGHT!

It was 9:30 pm at that point; the game would have been over. I yelled down to Lily and Karlie, “We forgot we had tickets to the game tonight!” … I heard many groans of disappointment from the basement.

It turned out that the boys didn’t need me cheering them on. They won 5-3 on their own.

Maybe I need a little more in my schedule to keep me attentive to the things I have planned.

Here’s the thing: I don’t know how many times I have forgotten to ask God for help, until it was almost too late or was too late. There have been times someone else has said to me, “Have you prayed about that yet?”, and no, I hadn’t. The great news is God never forgets about us, so learn from your forgetfulness and keep going. There’s always another game.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What are some reasons why you don’t think of first asking God for help? Leave your comment below.

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Get Things Done With The Right Tools

It is amazing how simple something seems with the right “know-how” and the right tools. It’s inspiring to see, to the point that you think you can do the same thing.

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Maybe that is why they have warning messages on some commercials, “Don’t try this at home”.

When you see someone with some skill using the right tools to do something or perform some task, it looks so effortless that it makes you think, “Just give me a try; I could do that too.”

Not so fast! I’ve been in this movie before and it’s not as easy as it looks.

Let me explain … Recently I was having trouble with my car. It was running rather rough, as if it was not firing on all cylinders.

I knew something wasn’t right, not only by the way the car was sounding and feeling but by the light on the dashboard that read, “check engine”.

I couldn’t get it to my mechanic because it was around Christmas, but I was a little concerned that the car could stop working at any time.

I mentioned my car woes to the guy who cuts my hair. … That may seem kind of odd when you read this, but my hairstylist knows cars, fixes cars, races cars, and can get anything for cars.

He’s a car guy.

I’ve been going to him to get my hair cut for about 17 years. Last year he got me a deal on winter tires.

When I mentioned my recent car problems, he said it was easy, that he had a scanner and could figure out what was wrong.

We arranged to meet; he brought his engine scanner and plugged it in. In about thirty seconds he told me one of my cylinders wasn’t firing. I needed a new coil.

He quickly called a guy and asked about the part. In the span of about two minutes we were off to the store to get the parts.

I then took my car to his place because he had everything we needed to fix it there. I watched as he went to work. There was no hesitation, no manuals, no computer YouTube video he was following.

He knew the right sized bolt head, and had the tool needed to get the spark plug out of the hole.

In about twenty short minutes he had replaced the coil and four spark plugs. I was on my way, the car sounded great again and the blasted engine light was off.

As I drove home my first thoughts were, “I think I could do that.” And what I meant was, “I think I could do that just like my hairstylist.”

And then I paused. I don’t have the tools he had; I don’t have the know-how to be sure of what I am doing. I would need the manual, or a YouTube video to follow. I know in the end, it would have taken me a couple of hours and several calls for help regarding various issues that I would have.

At least I saw how easy the job can be, with a little “know-how” and the right tools.

Here’s the thing: Your walk with Christ needs the right tools and a little “know-how”. Acquire the right tools, which includes people, books, the Bible, courses seminars, small groups, the list could go on.  Then gain the right “know how” from your experiences with God, trusting him for things, serving him, following his leading. That ensure that at the end of your life, the Lord will say well done.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What looks easy in your faith walk with the right tools and know-how? Leave your comment below.

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Christmas Tree Memories

This morning I’m sitting in our family room looking at our Christmas tree. The lights from the tree and the winter village are the only lights that are on.

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The tree lights draw my focus in and, as I sit quietly alone, I can’t help but reflect on what the tree represents.

I know that some people say that the Christmas tree is some pagan holiday symbol that we’ve stolen and now use as a symbol of Christmas. I don’t get too hung up on that because for years we sang hymns that had stolen their tunes from old bar songs.

It’s almost like hymn writers were the first “Weird Al Yankovic”. And if you don’t know who Weird Al is, don’t worry about it – it’s not important to my Christmas tree reflection.

To me this Christmas tree has become a burden and a blessing. And this year we decided to be done with the burden part.

You see, for the last 30 years Lily and I have exchanged Christmas decorations, and since our kids were born they also have received decorations. So let me do a little calculating here … that works out to 110 ornaments!

No wonder Lily sighs when she thinks about putting the decorations on the tree. But that’s nothing – our poor Christmas tree starts drooping in preparation for all that extra weight on its branches.

Let me tell you about the burden … These decorations are not just any decorations. They have to reveal something about the kind of year that person has had, or something memorable in that person’s year.

Like the year we vacationed without the kids, I got a small picture frame and added a picture of two people in beach chairs on a beach. The year the doctor told me my triglycerides were sky high, I went on a diet to get them down. Lily gave me a grapefruit ornament that said “the year of the grapefruit” to remind me of my progress.

At first I didn’t take this ornament giving too seriously. I think for the first four Christmases I got her a red ball decoration that said “our first, second, third … Christmas together”.

But that didn’t last. They don’t make “our 13th Christmas together” shiny hanging balls.

There were some dark years that I had to struggle to find a theme for the year. Eventually I ended up making many of my ornaments. That in itself took a lot of work.

It seemed sometimes that it was more work than it was worth. But on Christmas morning when Lily would open her gift, her reaction was always worth the effort I put into it.

But year after year it’s a burden, and there’s not much room on the tree anymore. I suggested that from now on we should just pick a ten year period and only put decorations up from that decade.

She didn’t like that idea. Instead, out of the blue one day, Lily said maybe we should stop giving ornaments to each other. I jumped at the suggestion and said, “Great idea; let’s stop.”

So I’m looking at the tree right now, with all its memories, because that’s what they are. The burden is over; I don’t have to make another ornament. But the blessing … the blessing of the memories that fill that tree will continue to bring comfort to my mind.

Here’s the thing: Remember special times in your spiritual life, like when you accepted Christ, when you made a spiritual breakthrough, how God met a need, how He helped you at a crucial time in your life. It’s those memories that will stay present with you, and give you comfort in the years to come.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What traditions do you have that bless you with great memories? Leave your comment below.