relationships

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Are You As Well Rested As You Should Be?

For the most part, we are good at talking about getting rest and needing rest, but we are not that good at actually getting the rest we need.

We starve ourselves of rest in two ways: We don’t sleep enough and we don’t rest from our work like we should.

Some say they need eight hours of sleep a night; others say they don’t need to sleep more than a few hours a night.

But all sleep is not rest. Many people turn sleep into a serious workout. Some snore like thunder. Some stop breathing as if they keep dipping below the surface of the water.

Those people have to wear a splint or put on a breathing machine. From what I understand, if you didn’t sleep all that well before, your quality of rest plummets even more with those apparatuses. The only good thing is that you will be sure to keep breathing.

But maybe breathing is over-rated.

When we brought our daughter home from the hospital for the first time, we had her sleeping in a bassinet beside our bed. I’m usually a sound sleeper but Karlie breathed so erratically that first night, I kept waking up to see if she was ok.

In the morning, I said to Lily, “She’s got to learn to breathe on her own. She’ll either figure it out or not, but she’s got to do it in her own bedroom, because I can’t sleep with her here!”

That was 26 plus years ago … Karlie figured it out.

But that’s only part of the rest we need. We need rest from our regular work. The Bible says we should take a Sabbath each week: one in seven.

However, with work, activities in the evenings, and shopping available seven days a week, it’s hard to take that rest. There is always some work to do, always somewhere to be, always something we need to obtain.

We say we take a day off but the truth comes out when we are exhausted at the end of the weekend, when we don’t have the energy we need to do all that we want to do, or when we find ourselves too tired to be as productive as we should be.

I’m a pastor. I should be a promoter of this rest, since it’s God’s idea and He actually made it one of His commands to us. But sadly, I end up working on my day off like most other people.

The key to this rest we need is not to do nothing. Rather, we are to do something we enjoy, something that we look forward to, something that invigorates us.

For me that might be a day of playing sports, watching some professional sports and chowing down on some hot wings with a glass of Dr. Pepper to wash them all down.

For someone else it might be completely different. But the end result should be that I feel rested and ready to get back to work the next day, that I’ve acknowledged God and given Him thanks.

This coming Monday, I’m going to get serious about taking a Sabbath.

Here’s the thing: It seems like the easiest one of God’s commands to ignore or excuse. In the course of a week it can slide by without any harmful side effects. But an unattended Sabbath can lead to serious health and relational complications. Don’t cheat yourself or God on your Sabbath; get serious about taking it.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What makes taking a Sabbath difficult for you? Leave your comment below.

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Strong Beliefs Bring Out Strong Emotions

Whatever we believe strongly in creates waves. It doesn’t matter if it’s politics or sports or religion, topics like these bring out emotion in people.

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I just have to say, “I’m a Toronto Maple Leafs fan”, and that will elicit feelings in some people. Right now, some are considering making this the last sentence they read!

… They may not have even finished the sentence … emotions are so strong, they could stop people in mid-sentence.

In my office I have paraphernalia from the Toronto Blue Jays and the Leafs hanging on one wall, and I get two very different reactions. The general consensus is the Toronto Blue Jays are okay; we are all on the same band wagon. But not so much with the Leafs.

Strong support for something brings out a reaction in us that we can’t back down from, that causes us to raise our voice or take a stand.

The most easygoing person turns into a stubborn, obnoxious, hammerhead when he is pricked by something he strongly believes in.

It’s just how we are; it’s in our nature. We can try to control ourselves when our emotions have been summoned to attention, but for the most part, they are sent into battle before we can call them back.

This week we elected a new government … Emotions get pretty high when you start talking about political parties and leaders.

In the heat of this political battle, there were many emotion-raising statements made by all the parties. But there have been a few that crossed over to another strong belief in some people; yet these comments didn’t elicit the kind of emotion from people that you might think.

Justin Trudeau stated that Christians need not apply for leadership in the Liberal party, and Mulcair has said that Christians are anti-Canadian.

Some of you are thinking these statements are not that bad; they are not the emotion-seeking missiles that other comments are, that they are really nothing more than duds.

But let’s just change one word in each statement: What if Trudeau said LGBT’s need not apply for leadership in the Liberal party, and what if Mulcair said LGBT’s are anti-Canadian?

Those statements would start a war! There would be accusations of homophobia, hatred, and legal action would be set into motion.

Emotions would storm these parties and would create such a tidal wave of negativity that retractions would be made and positive concessions would have to be promised. The focus on the election would have turned squarely onto these statements.

These statements made about Christians, though being hate language and Christian-phobic in nature, passed by without the firestorm that should have accompanied them.

Maybe everyone knew these were just barbs thrown out in the heat of an election. Maybe the authors of the statements don’t really believe what they said.

OR maybe there is little or no voice in Canada that would raise enough emotion to call out discrimination when it shows itself. Have Christians become like gays in the 50’s and 60’s, where they could be abused and no one cared or did anything about it?

Here’s the thing: It’s okay to become emotional about faith. It’s not different than the emotion that rises when we talk about our sports teams or our political party. Christians must voice their emotion, and not become complacent. Don’t throw up your hands; take a stand for what you believe.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you feel about the comments made by these two political leaders? Leave your comment below.

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Have You Become Desensitized To Life?

Have you ever thought that you may have become desensitized to something? Have you got to the place where you don’t notice something or it’s not as effective as it once was?

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For instance, if you walk into the house when someone has just cooked up a batch of fish, the fish odour is overpowering. You want to plug your nose, try not to breath more than you have to. But after a while, if you stay in that environment, you don’t smell the fish any more; you become accustomed to it.

This same thing can happen in our bodies. If you take a certain penicillin for a long enough time  it doesn’t have the same benefit for you. Your body becomes desensitized to it and you need to find something else to help you get better.

It happens all the time and every day. We just don’t appreciate what’s around us.

Take, for instance, the beauty of the trees turning colour. We can be driving through rural Ontario during the height of the colour change of the trees yet not really notice it. We’ve seen those colours so many times that we don’t “ooh and awe” around every bend in the road.

This week it happened to me in another way.

We had a guest at our church who came to give us a report on a ministry he was involved with. Just before the service, as usual, the worship and tech teams gathered in a corner near the front of the church to pray. I then went to sit down with our guest and the worship team took to the platform.

Just as they hit the first few notes of the first song, our guest turned to me and said, “You have a really great team there”.

I said something like, “Ya, they are a great bunch”. But then I looked at them – no, I really looked at them.

As the music started to emanate from their instruments and their voices blended together, I started to have a new appreciation for our worship team.

I got a little proud of that group up front.

It’s not that I didn’t think they were great before our guest made that comment, it’s just that I had become accustomed to them being up there. I was desensitized to what they bring to the service, to how good they sound together, to the skill with which they perform.

It was great because, as we continued with the worship, it was like I was experiencing it for the first time, all over again.

It wasn’t new, but it was like it was new, fresh for me again … like the first time in the fall when you see a maple tree with its leaves turned bright read. Your senses are awakened and you soak it all in.

Here’s the thing: We can become pretty complacent at church, so much so that we focus on the negatives: I don’t like the songs; the sound wasn’t right; I didn’t like the topic; the people weren’t that friendly; there were too many people, or not enough people. (Feel free to add your personal favourite complaint of church.) All of that comes from being desensitized to the wonder, the beauty, the goodness that’s around you. The great news is that you can be re-sensitized to it all so that it’s fresh and new and amazing again. Just step back and reset your senses and then take in all the beauty of the colours of the landscape before you.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you find you get desensitized to most easily? Leave your comment below.

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Is It Really Time For A Change?

Apparently it’s time for a change in our country. That’s the mantra floating through the air in Canada this last month.

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I hear it in every commercial for the Liberals and NDP. It’s either time for a change or it’s time for real change. Even the media have been telling us the voters want change.

I’ve heard people say the Conservatives have been in power too long so it’s time for a change. The government is not doing enough for some people; certainly they want a change – a new government who won’t do enough for a different group.

Sure, this election seems like it’s all about change, but is change really what the election should be about?

When I go to McDonald’s and order a Big Mac instead of a Quarter Pounder, I might say that I feel like a change. I might not even have a reason for the change; I just want something different.

But that’s called a craving; I don’t need a reason for a craving.

It’s fine for hamburgers, but is it good for an election? Let’s face it, the parties who want change, who want us to vote for a change, just want us to pick them.

For the opposition, change is good because it gets them what they want. They may try to disguise it to look like they really want what’s best for the country, but the bottom line is they just want to replace the government with themselves.

If they can get us to believe we want a change, a hankering for a new party to lead the country, that works in their favour.

But hey, it’s not like we’re all pregnant with whimsical cravings for pickles and ice cream or a minority Liberal government with an NDP opposition on top.

Choosing a government means we have to think of what’s best for the country as a whole. That also means it won’t be the best for every segment of the country. Some groups will not get what they want.

The bottom line is the government has to do what’s best for the country at large.

That’s why I question the Liberals wanting to run a 10 billion dollar deficit. Sure, the arts will get more money, as will other groups, but someone’s got to pay for it. It won’t be the richest 1% either, because they have lots of ways to reduce their income.

It will be the middle class … it’s always the middle class.

The NDP think they can spend their way to a balanced budget. They will take care of the environment, pay for daycare, fix our medical system, and give you what’s behind curtain number three (hint: the car is never behind curtain #3).

So that’s why some parties want us to believe it’s time for change. Because if we thought about what they really want to do, we wouldn’t want to change.

There isn’t a perfect party, and there is no government that will make everyone happy. But if we focus on what’s best for the whole, a stable and secure country is what we all really need.

Here’s the thing: Every day we’re tempted to do what’s wrong over what’s right, and choose bad over good. When we give in to our whims and our desires, we’ll give in to the temptation to sin. We won’t consider the consequences, or the pain it might cause, just anticipate an immediate gratification. If we think through about the temptation instead of reacting to it, we will choose not to sin more often.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How are you going to think through your decision this election? Leave your comment below.

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How You Can Tell It’s Really Fall

Go ahead, say it, it’s officially fall. The weather has turned colder, we’ve lost the humidity, and I got my first cold.

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I was really hoping for summer weather to last right through to the end of October, but sadly the air has a feel of fall to it. Even on warm days, it’s a fall warm and not a summer sizzle.

Temperatures through the night dip a lot lower now. It’s brisk out when I’m leaving for work in the morning. The thermometer gets a bigger workout at this time of year with all its ups and downs. The weather is more unpredictable.

Conditions outside are one thing, what concerns me most is the condition of my body. I could blame it on the weather with its hot and cold effect, or I could blame it on some late nights and not getting the rest I need.

But I’m going to blame it on my wife! Lil has been saying she thinks she’s getting a cold for the last few days.

It’s hard for her to tell at this time of the year because she has some killer allergies that really put a strain on our Kleenex supply in the house.

But there were a few signs like the body aches and the congestion that gave it away.  Unfortunately for me, I didn’t know soon enough because I’m pretty good at staying clear when she’s under the weather.

That’s right, I’m not the greatest nurse in the world. My policy is if you’re sick, you’re on your own and it’s your responsibility to keep a distance of several feet from me.

I know you are probably thinking that I have a double standard when it comes to sickness, but I don’t. I don’t want people hovering around me; I don’t want anyone trying to give me special treatment either.

My motto while I’m sick is, “Leave me alone and stay clear”.

I’m having a little easier time living up to my motto today because Lil is away right now and I’m alone. There isn’t anyone around to stay clear from; there’s no one to offer special treatment.

Though I want to be left alone when I’m sick, I don’t like the fact that she took off after infecting me with her disease.

But there is nothing I can do. I have to accept the fact that I’m sick and I need to ride it out or try to do something about it.

My son has a cold busting solution that he uses, called the Cold FX bomb. It’s about a three day cycle of pumping your body with various doses of Cold FX medicine.

I don’t like drugs. What works for me is to sweat it out. I’ve got rid of a cold in one day with this method. And today is perfect – I have a day off, and I’ll be going to the hockey rink for a little pick up.

I’l wear a few extra layers under my equipment and hopefully, by the end of the game, the aches will be gone and tomorrow I’ll be a brand new man.

Here’s the thing: There are many things in life that can negatively influence us towards God. We need to be vigilant to keep ourselves away from them. But when we slip and recognize that we have been influenced negatively, we need to take bold steps to rid that influence from our lives. Today I read Psalm 119:7. The message was this: Keep an upright heart before God while you learn your righteousness … Good to keep in mind.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What are the influences you have to keep an eye out for? Leave your comment below.

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Final Goodbye To A Dear Friend

Yesterday I heard of the passing of a good friend and colleague, Ian Ross. Well, he wasn’t a colleague in the strict sense of the word, but he definitely was a partner in ministry.

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My introduction to Ian came 30 years ago. I had just been hired as the youth pastor at the church he attended, Beulah Alliance Church in Edmonton.

Along with a youth group, I inherited several volunteer youth leaders. Ian and his wife, Audrey, were two of them. At first we spent time getting to know each other, which consisted of mostly hanging out at restaurants after Friday night activities.

We got along amazingly. Ian and Audrey had a love for the students in the youth group like nobody else. It’s rare to find commitment on a volunteer level like these two had.

The most startling thing about our relationship, and their ministry with teens, was that they had already raised their family and their youngest child was just graduating out of the youth group.

These two relics in terms of youth ministry were only a handful of years younger than my parents – and I was 29 at the time.

Over the years I found Ian to be a quiet mentor. What I mean is he wasn’t pushy. He listened, observed and when he thought I needed some advice … well, I was all ears.

He was like that with the teens. He participated in everything the students did; they loved him and listened to him when he had a word for them.

We did some crazy things together over the eleven years I was in that church: staying up all night with the group when we had all-nighters, taking kids to the hospital when we went tubing, setting up the gym or the whole church for big events.

He got roped into all kinds of stunts, skits, and situations that most people his age would have had nothing to do with.

Ian, however, just rolled with it all. The thing that Ian did best, and did the most, was hang out with our teens, and interact with them. He encouraged them, teased them, instructed them, impressed upon them, teased them (did I say that already?).

He befriended them.

There is not a student who went through that church who didn’t like Ian, who didn’t respect Ian, who didn’t learn something from Ian … well, maybe Kurt … That one night cost Ian a couple of years, I think. At any rate, he was greyer, if you can get greyer when you already have completely grey hair.

For me, Ian was a mentor, a partner, a friend – oh, and a golfing buddy. I have only seen him a few times in the last 19 years but I’ve never felt that we were far from each other.

Ian was one of those friends you could pick up with like you saw him yesterday, even when it had been more like 10 years.

My heart is saddened that he is not here, so I will just look forward to when I see him again in heaven.

Here’s the thing: We don’t find a lot of Ian Rosses in the world. But God uses people like him. And I would challenge you, if you knew Ian, or know someone like Ian, to decide today that you will seek to make your life count for God like Ian Ross made his life count. Our world, our churches need more people like the Rosses leaving their fingerprints on everything and everyone they touch.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: Who has been a mentor in your life? Leave your comment below.

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Making The Most Of A Bad Thing

My wife, Lily, is always looking for things the two of us can do in our city. This past weekend we had some visitors staying with us and, to be helpful, she checked to see what special events were happening in case they needed something to do.

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Honestly, I think she was researching what was happening in the city to come up with plan for the two of us to do together. And, you guessed it, she found an event that was happening downtown all Sunday afternoon.

Usually I like to watch a little NFL football through my eyelids on Sunday afternoons, but this time I felt the need to give in to her scheme.

We headed downtown right after lunch. It couldn’t have been a better day for an outside activity – warm and the sun was shining.

The event was called “Streets Alive”, put on by the City of Kingston. You would figure that the city would have all the resources to put on a top-notch event.

In this case something must have gone seriously wrong. Not one person, but a whole team of people, must have missed their assignments to create this flop!

They had blocked off a city street for about one kilometre, turning it into a huge sidewalk. However, when Lily and I were strolling down the middle of the street we were pretty much the only ones on the road.

We had puzzled looks on our faces for most of the walk. At intersections there were officials to ensure no cars came onto the street. We asked one guy what was supposed to be happening and he admitted he didn’t really know much. He was just manning the barricade.

The street ended at a park with a sign at the entrance posting a long list of booths spread throughout the park. Unfortunately, we couldn’t see more than a few.

There were four food vending trucks which was one more than the number of booths that we saw.

We turned around and walked back … passing a few other people walking the street with similar puzzled looks on their faces.

The event was called “Streets Alive” but from what I could tell, it was more like “Streets Dead”.

I think I have an idea of what they were trying to do. Every year in the fall the city produces a magazine that lists all the various community opportunities, clubs and classes one can take part in. I think they were trying to do a live version of that magazine.

The only problem was the clubs, classes and organizations didn’t get the memo to set up booths, and most people would rather open a magazine rather than walk down a deserted street to a park with a fries truck and a fortune telling booth.

It wasn’t all bad, however. Lily’s scheme got us out of the house, doing something together, and I got some raspberry gelato. I think next year though we’ll pass on the “Streets Alive.”

Here’s the thing: Often we put the onus on the organizers of an event, thinking they better put on a great event or we’ll be let down and have a right to complain. We do that with church, too. Sometimes we don’t like the music or feel the sermon wasn’t good. But I believe if you are seeking to connect with God at church, He will draw you into any worship music and He doesn’t need a straight stick to strike your heart.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you make the most of a bad thing? Leave your comment below.

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What Golf Can Teach Us About Handling Pressure

This week my son treated me to a game of golf – not the usual game; we actually attended a PGA Tour Canada event.

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I walked the course and never swung a club. We were watching young professional golfers who hope to one day make the big tour.

Instead of playing for million dollar prize money, these guys were hoping to take home $31,000 if they won … still not a bad paycheque for a week’s work!

A week of work playing golf on a beautiful, well-manicured course – I think I could get used to that.

We ended up following one of the Canadians in the tournament for the back nine. When we picked him up, he was about 17 under par.

I kind of thought the reason these guys were playing on this tour, and not the US tour, was because they couldn’t shoot low enough scores. But these kids could rip up courses just like the guys who are making ten times what they make in a year.

I discovered the difference between the two tours as we got closer to the 18th hole.

The guy we were following was hot; we saw him make birdies on three of his next four holes.  We kind of thought we might be watching the eventual winner.

He seemed like he was cruising, his shots were right on, he was hitting the ball long. He looked calm and confident as he made his way around the track.

But then we got to the 14th hole. He missed a 4-footer that would have got him to 21 under.

Not a big deal. However, on the next hole his tee shot took an unlucky bounce that left him with a tough second shot.

Immediately you could tell his confidence was not what it was. He still made par, but he was scrambling for it now.

For the next two holes you could see that the pressure was getting to him. He was gripping the club a little tighter and not making the shots as precisely as before.

It all came down to the last hole. We figured our guy was tied for the lead or one shot back. He needed to score a 3 on the par 5 to have a chance to win.

When the pressure is on, it’s difficult to step back and calm yourself down, to block all the voices in your head and hit the shot you want. … He didn’t hit a great shot.

He put his second shot in a sand trap behind the green. Then he imploded. He took three putts to get the ball in the hole – a bogey 6.

In the end, he went from potential winner to outright second place finisher, to ending up settling for a six-way tie for second.

Maybe one of the reasons these guys aren’t on the big tour is the mental game. They can hit the ball and putt, but when the pressure is on, they sometimes fold.

Here’s the thing: Living the Christian life can be similar to these golfers. We can be cruising along in our lives, but when the pressure comes, that’s when we need to be real pros and be able to live strong in the faith.

Prepare yourself in advance to deal with the pressure. Know God’s Word, meet with Him regularly, plan how you will respond to certain scenarios so you can whether the storm of pressure and come out victorious.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What potential circumstance could you make a plan for in advance? Leave your comment below.

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Every Man Wishes For A Close Shave

Today I cut the grass at my cottage; it had been five weeks since it had been clipped. As I got out my weed whacker and started trimming the edges, I thought, “Man, I wish I could trim it a little shorter.”

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That’s when I realized that one of the things men want most in life is a close shave. It doesn’t matter if it’s on our faces or the grass at the edge of our lawns, we just want a close shave!

We are always in search of something, some gadget or gimmick that will get us a closer shave.

The other day, I saw a commercial for a blade you can put on a weed whacker that’s supposed to get closer to the edges, trim down further, even get in-between the slats in your fence.

I found myself thinking, “I’ve got to get me one of those. I need to shave my lawn closer.”

We do it with razors, too. Gillette keeps coming out with more blades, pivoting heads or slippery stuff that moves the blades along. And it’s all to give us a closer shave.

We want to feel like we don’t have to shave as often. We want to go two days before someone says, “Hey, you didn’t shave today, did you?”

There are all kinds of razors out there, even ones you can take in the shower (not sure why you’d want to) that come with micro blades that whirl around to give you a pretty close shave.

I bought an electric razor because sometimes I don’t want to get out my blade razor and take the time to lather up. Sometimes a quick once-over the face with an electric will do the trick.

I have one that has triple-action floating heads. It purrs like a kitten. The first time I used it, I got a close shave – maybe too close … the next morning my face still stung from the feeling of having a thin layer of skin removed from the surface.

But that’s okay, I’m not complaining. I like that I got a close shave – that’s what we men are looking for.

And I know that we haven’t arrived at the closest thing yet. We still know that, out there somewhere, someone has an idea that will get us even closer!

I know that when someone designs a tool that will get me a few microns closer, or when a blade comes on the market that will clip those hard-to-get-to places on my lawn, I’ll be wanting it.

Some day I can picture us using lasers to clip hairs from our face and cut our lawn painlessly and in one swoop.

Oh, wouldn’t that be nice to get your face up close to a device that removes your hair right to the nubbies … and then you could just turn the dial up a few notches if you wanted a facelift.

Here’s the thing: We may never be satisfied with how close a shave we can get. We may always be looking for something closer. Well, that’s how we should be with our relationship with Christ. Have you become satisfied with it? Is your relationship with Christ “close enough”? That should never be. We should always be searching, looking, striving for how we can develop a closer relationship, closer walk with Him.

That’s Life!
Paul

Question: What part of your relationship with Christ are you not satisfied with? Leave your comment below.

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What To Do When You’ve Misheard Something

When we don’t hear correctly, it can cause all kinds of complications or problems.

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However, it’s pretty normal to have to say, “Pardon me, could you repeat that please?” You often hear people saying something like that … and the older we get, the more often we have to say it.

It doesn’t help that some people mumble or let their words trail off, making it hard to hear what they’re saying. It gets embarrassing to have to stop people and continually ask them, “What was that again?”

Often we just carry on and go with what we thought they said. We can make up pretty great stories when we do that!

Years ago on the TV show, Saturday Night Live, Gilda Radner played a character called Emily Litella. She was a senior citizen who had an opinion spot on their news segment. Emily’s problem was she didn’t hear very well.

For example, she gave her opinion, with all kinds of emotion, about violins on television. She got rather upset and irate that they were showing violins so late at night on the tube. She thought they should be shown earlier so children could watch and get a little culture.

After about a two minute rant, the show’s anchor interrupted Emily to tell her that the issue was “violence” on TV and not “violins”. Litella faced the audience, paused and responded with “Never mind”.

Not hearing can cause problems or it can have a funny result. … But what happens when you mishear God?

Recently, our daughter had planned to move to another apartment; plans seemed to be going well. She found a great place that looked like it would be perfect, and made the proper arrangements with her present landlord by letting him know she was moving.

Then things started to fall apart with the new place. There was a request by the new landlord that didn’t seem right. When Karlie said she couldn’t agree, the landlord didn’t respond or say “no” right away.

Karlie was still hopeful, until she was almost out of time at her present place. Then she was informed the new apartment was given to someone else.

She had asked God to provide a place for her, but now it looked like she wouldn’t have a place at all! Almost every other accommodation she checked was already rented.

Karlie had thought that she was following God’s leading, listening to what He wanted her to do.

She had two final possibilities. She decided that if they didn’t reply to her calls, texts and emails within three days, she would then go to her landlord and ask him if she could stay. She heard nothing.

When she went to her landlord, he told her that he had not had one single phone call regarding the apartment. Karlie asked him if she could sign a new lease and he even agreed to the shorter term that she wanted.

Here’s the thing: When we misread God or mishear Him, we can get ourselves going in the wrong direction. From there it’s easy to make more wrong decisions or draw wrong conclusions from what we think God might be saying. If we have misheard God, it’s important to be willing to take a step back, listen again and then follow through on what He makes clear.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question:   How have you misread or misheard God? Leave your comment below.