relationships

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A Hockey Game To Remember

I went to a hockey game with my son the other day and realized just how much genetics and upbringing shape and mould us.

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I remember growing up thinking that I was pretty unique, like there was no one identical to me. I was pretty naive back then – maybe suffering from an “I am special” complex that I’m sure annoyed some people … especially my parents and siblings.

But early in my twenties, I began to notice that I wasn’t all that “special” in the way I thought, in what I liked and disliked, in some of my habits, and in my choices.

I also noticed that my parents had lots of traits that I have; they were a lot like me. My first thought was, “They must be special too!”

But you know, just coming out of my teen years when I knew everything, I was quite conscious of the fact that they weren’t all that special … which left me with the realization that maybe I wasn’t all that special either.

Over the years I’ve realized that a part of what I am like is a direct result of being the procreation of Don and Helen. And then, added to that, a large part of who I am is also a result of growing up in an environment with them.

My genetics may determine how I process information, but my upbringing has shaped the angle,  view, or perspective from which I start to process that information.

When you think about it, our heritage – biological and environmental – has a huge part to play in us.

I was thinking about that when my son and I were talking together at the hockey game. He’s about the age now that I was at when I started to realize some of these things.

Our conversation uncovered how the pattern that formed who I am, is the same pattern that has been shaping him.

I understand some of the struggles he’s gone through … I could share similar stories from my days being in my twenties. There were times when we knew what each other was thinking.

We were both comfortable being in a hockey arena and also reflecting on the game and reminiscing about games we’ve played.

From the time he was little we’ve been watching sports together, especially hockey. When he was really little, in some fanciful way, he thought I played for the Toronto Maple Leafs, even though we would watch the first period together on TV … in Edmonton.

He’s developed a love for hockey and many sports probably because it has been part of his environment and was encouraged in our home growing up.

He even learned to share my love for the Toronto Maple Leafs … No, sorry, that’s genetic.

Here’s the thing: The goal of a Christian is to become more like Christ. Part of that is genetics, because we are made in His image. But a large part of that has to do with the environment we live in. If you are going to be transformed more into the likeness of Christ, you need to make sure your environment will produce those kinds of results. That means being around those who are ahead of you in the transformation process, and it will mean developing the habits and thinking of Christ which we find in His word. To become more like Christ, arrange your environment so that you come under that maximum influence of the Son of God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How have you arranged your environment to come under the influence of Christ? Leave your comment below.

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You Need Purpose On Your Day Off

Have you ever worked hard for a week or more, and been in desperate need of a day off?

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When you finally get that well-deserved day off, there is a tendency to want to do nothing, to not plan, not initiate, not schedule.

And that’s probably the worst thing you can do.

We all need rest from our work. We need time to recharge our batteries, to get ourselves ready to face work again. But so many times we approach a day off with the wrong kind of thinking.

We want to distance ourselves from anything that reminds us of work, like making a to-do list, or completing a to-do list, or even putting things down on a schedule for the day.

We want to sleep in, have a leisurely breakfast, and just float through the day being pushed by the wind.

… It sounds nice in theory, but it’s the worst thing you could do on your day off – your precious day off.

You see, if you do that, by the end of the day you’ll feel frustrated that you wasted your day.

The next morning you’ll be wishing you had another day off because you won’t be ready to go back to work. You’ll feel like you didn’t accomplish anything on your day off …  which is precisely what you set out to do!

The problem is that we are not mindless and ambition-less. We were made to do things, and built to have purpose – even if it is purpose for a day off.

God has created us with a purpose. Purpose is in our DNA.

We can fight having a purpose – and many people do on their day off – but you’ll have a subconscious frustration that forms a pattern you can’t seem to break out of. It becomes habit-forming.

I remember when I was in high school I would sleep in on Saturdays. I thought I liked sleeping in like that. But at one point I realized that I would wake up a little frustrated, slightly cranky, when I would get up at around 12:30 or 1 pm.

It dawned on me that deep down I felt like I was wasting a good portion of the day.

That’s when I made a big change. … But getting up early was not the only thing I needed.

I also needed a plan of what to do, or else I would still diddle my day away.

When I’ve planned my day off and executed it, I feel better, and the next day I’m rejuvenated. All I need is a little purpose in my day off.

That means coming up with a plan, a schedule and action. The difference between that and work is that you do what you are interested in, what will bring some joy, fulfillment, and a sense of accomplishment.

That’s why this morning, on my day off, I’m making a plan of how my day will be filled with purpose.

Here’s the thing: If you are going to keep growing in your relationship with God, then you are going to have to be purposeful in that as well. Take some time to plan and schedule when you will meet with Him. Don’t let days, weeks or months go by in subconscious frustration knowing you should meet with God. Make a plan, put it in your schedule and implement it.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What makes planning on your day off difficult for you? Leave your comment below.

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Why You Can’t Trust the News

Lately I’ve been bugged by the news. Actually, I’m regularly bugged by the news. My son says “Why do you even watch the news? It’s so negative and depressing.” And he’s not wrong in that.

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The news media claim that they are reporting the facts, which is true. They do. But they also add their political bias and even religious spin to it, which actually skews the facts to be something other than fact.

Years ago I had some blood work done and when the doctor gave me the report he was a little puzzled. He told me that they couldn’t calculate my bad cholesterol because my triglycerides were so high.

Let me say that again in words I understand: There was junk in my blood that prevented the lab from being able to decipher what my true bad cholesterol count was.

Relating that to what the newsmakers do, they mix their junk in with the facts so that you can’t really tell what the facts are.

I realize that this isn’t anything new. It’s been going on for a long time. All the while, the news media defend their right to inform us, the public, of the truth … except we are not getting the truth – their triglycerides are too high!

I don’t like how they slant their stories against the government, or Christian religion. But when you get such a steady diet of the same spin, you begin to take their word as normal, it’s the way it is.

It’s just like me and my blood test. I didn’t feel bad; I couldn’t tell my blood wasn’t in good shape.  I needed someone to look at it and tell me there was something wrong there.

However, it’s pretty difficult to convince the newsmakers that there is something preventing us from getting the facts and that something is their political and religious views … I just call them their triglycerides.

Recently when we had the shooting on Parliament Hill, the news – and even some politicians – were quick to give us the facts: there was a shooting; it was a terrorist attack. They even figured out how the gunman did it.

But then we were told over and over that this attack was ideologically and politically motivated.

We were assured that this was not connected to religion or religiously motivated at all.  However, the gunman had converted to Islam, and according to the RCMP commissioner, had recorded a video before the shooting in which he made remarks about Allah and expressed Jihadist views.

News correspondents, media personnel, and even one of our national party leaders, have gone out of their way to defend Islam as a peaceful religion, stating there is nothing in the Quran that would insight violence.

My first thought is that these people are just ignorant, and are not doing the proper investigation. They are going on what they have been told.

… You know, I didn’t realize that the things I was eating were causing my triglycerides to rise in my blood. But when I found out, I did something about it.

What our media is doing is ignoring the fact that their triglycerides are high, reporting skewed facts to us anyway. And that’s not ignorance, that’s manipulation.

Here’s the thing: Your number one source for growth in your relationship with the Lord should be your Bible. You see, God the Holy Spirit directed and guided the writers of the scriptures. We can be confident that what we have is what God wanted to give us. Everything else comes with some “triglycerides” added. Use those as second sources, not first.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you use to help you in your quiet time with God? Leave your comment below.

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Some Jobs Are Just Plain Fun 

The other day I got a taste of one of the few outdoor jobs I don’t mind doing.

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My grass needed to be cut – probably for the last time this year. But before I cranked up my Briggs & Stratton engine, I needed to clean up the leaves that had fallen off our tree.

I used to hate that chore, but I don’t mind it now because I have a power leaf collector.  The thing is awesome! – you should have one too.

Even if you don’t have a tree in your yard – or a tree on your street for that matter – you need to have one of these babies! Hey, the wind blows in the fall and leaves can come to your address from far away and land on your lawn … I’m just saying.

What this leaf collector does is it sucks the leaves up like a big vacuum cleaner (only much cooler) and then it cuts the leaves in little pieces so they take up less space and can be compacted easier. See? … Awesome, right?

In the old days, I would rake the leaves. It was such a tedious job, I couldn’t handle it.

But there’s nothing like having a motor strapped to my side, that’s producing a deafening 75-90 db (decibels) of pure suction power, to give me a bounce in my step, a spring in my stride.

I know I’m not the only one who enjoys collecting their dead leaves this way. When one of my neighbours saw me using mine for the first time, he went out and bought one too.

And the guy that lives across the street from me, well … the other day he sucked up every – I mean EVERY – leaf from his lawn! It took him hours, but he looked like he was enjoying himself.

And the lawn looked like a carpet when he was finished.

We have lots of leaves still on our tree so I know my job isn’t finished for the year. Besides that, there are the trees across the street, and all those leaves blow my way.

I’ll be busy burning out my ear drums, and filling up bags of leaves for the leaf collection guys, like I was being paid to do it. … I can see me doing this when I’m 90 and have to ride on one of those little three-wheeled scooters!

In the meantime, I’m spreading the love around because, while I wait for all my leaves to fall off my tree, some of them are blowing onto my next door neighbour’s yard.

He will probably be buying one of these lawn vacuum cleaners soon.

Here’s the thing: What can keep you growing with God is finding a tool or study method you really enjoy. It could be a set of questions you ask yourself about a Bible passage or even a special place you go to spend some time with God. When you find something that you enjoy, milk it for all its worth and enjoy a rich experience with God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you found enjoyable about your time with God? Leave your comment below.

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Sometimes Change is Difficult

As your family gets older, you find some things change, some things don’t. This year, for a change, we decided to celebrate Thanksgiving up at our cottage.

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It’s the first time that all four of us have been there at the same time. We’ve owned it for about five years, but for most of that time our daughter Karlie has been out of the province.

And son Mike, well, he came up once the first year with some buddies and it was cold, rainy and miserable the whole time. He’s never been back.

But times change. Karlie now lives only a couple hours away and Mike, well, we twisted his arm, with the promise of a golf game.

This was going to be a big deal, so my wife Lily spent most of Saturday preparing food, baking, and gathering what she would need to build a Thanksgiving turkey dinner up at Sauble Beach.

As I started to pack the car Sunday afternoon, that’s when I noticed that not all things change somethings remain the same.

When we used to go away as a family, the day we packed and left was always a little tense for Lily. In the last while, when it’s just been the two of us, she’s been much more relaxed about it.

Not yesterday. Some latent matriarchal hormone kicked in and she was in my face while I was packing the car. She was stressed and hovering around me. I could feel a couple of very intense eyes, burrowing holes in the back of my head like lasers.

It was not an easy task to pull off, even without her there. Our car is a small Hyundai Accent and we had to cram two golf bags in it, along with all the food and other stuff … a big change from when the kids were little and we used to travel in a big ol’ Safari van, a 7-seater for the four of us.

On our way up, we had to grab some dinner. However, I made the mistake of not stopping where there was a variety of restaurants, opting to get farther on our journey.

Well, by the time we found a restaurant most of us were happy to eat at, we were all pretty hungry. However, when we got inside, Mike didn’t want anything on the menu. We all ate except him.

It just reminded me of going camping one time as a family when my dad was with us. We had stopped to eat at a restaurant of Dad’s choosing, and somehow Mike – who was about 14 at the time – didn’t like the menu and didn’t eat anything. This experience was like deja vu!

But when we got up to the cottage that’s when I noticed the biggest change. We were all sitting around talking, I fell asleep in my chair, and the kids took the car into town to grab a midnight snack.

Here’s the thing: In order to develop your relationship with God, you have to notice the things in your life that are resistant to change – attitudes, emotions and actions. You have to acknowledge them, confess them and figure out a way to get beyond them so that you can continue to grow closer to God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you found to be hard to change in your life? Leave your comment below.

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Why You Fail To Keep Commitments

The other day I was thinking about why it’s hard for many of us to keep commitments – especially the ones we make to ourselves.

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I believe people approach making commitments differently, and so for some it is easier to keep those commitments than it is for others. But it doesn’t have to be.

I’ve made a commitment to spend time with God each day at 6 am. Now I’m not perfect in that, but I would say that I keep that commitment most days and I’ve been doing it for years.

Someone else I know has made commitments over the years to exercising early in the morning. However, they have not been able to maintain that commitment over a long period of time.

My first piece of advice is you shouldn’t exercise that early in the morning – there is something seriously wrong with that concept! And in the words of Mr. T., “I pity the fool”.

But seriously, the difference I observed between my friend and I is not a commitment issue but how we treat conditions that are placed on our commitments.

To every commitment there are conditions that we either have to satisfy or dismiss in order to keep what we’ve committed to. And we deal with these conditions very differently.

You see, I get up every morning regardless of when I went to bed the night before, while my friend insists he gets 8 hours of sleep in order to get up early to exercise. So it is really the condition not his commitment level that determines whether he will follow through or not.

If he gets his sleep, he satisfies the condition, and he exercises; if not, he doesn’t. After he misses a few in a row because he didn’t get his sleep, it becomes harder and harder for him to keep the commitment. He eventually stops.

He needs to do one of two things with his condition: either dismiss it or satisfy it.

Some people have the ability to dismiss possible conditions so that they don’t get in the way of meeting their commitments. But for those who can’t do that, they must first satisfy the condition in order to consistently keep their commitments.

Foreseeing other possible conditions that may arise along the way is also important. For instance, what happens to your commitment if you are away on a trip somewhere?

If you put your commitment on hold, it will be hard to get back at it when you return home. You can dismiss the condition and keep getting up early, or you have to figure out a way to satisfy it while you’re away.

… And that will take some planning and possible preparation.

A major key to following through on your commitment is determining the conditions placed on the commitment and satisfying or dismissing them.

Here’s the thing: If you are having trouble committing to spending time with God, don’t focus on your lack of commitment as being the problem. Look at all the conditions you’ve placed on what you’ve committed to, evaluate them and either dismiss them or satisfy them. Then you will find you can regularly keep to spending time with God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has made keeping commitments difficult for you? Leave your comment below.

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Evaluate and Make A Plan

Recently, I made a plan to exercise more regularly. I looked back over the past spring and summer and noticed that I have biked only half as much as I did the previous year.

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I’m not sure whether it was because of the weather or me just being a slug. Whatever the reason, I turned into a slug regardless.

Now I’m trying to work my way back to a regular exercise routine, so I’m looking for a little cooperation from several sources: weather, schedule, and equipment.

I’ve taken a little time to evaluate and research the top contributing obstacles to my regular exercise.

Weather is a big one for me, especially in the spring, summer and early fall, because all my exercise is geared for outdoor activity. I mountain bike and play golf, and though golf is not a high level of exercise, it does keep my step count up.

And I depend on consecutive days of dry weather, because the day after a rain the trails are sloppy, slippery and generally a mess. This year it seemed like we couldn’t get more than a couple of days in a row of good weather, which leads me to my next obstacle.

My schedule this year didn’t provide me with the freedom I needed to get out there and make a difference with my health.

I regularly bike on Mondays, Wednesday evenings and Saturdays and it seemed this year that there was a meeting or I was out of town or some other responsibility kept me from hitting the trails.

Other times that I found myself free to go, I ran into the weather problem – it was raining or it had rained hard the day before.

What I really need is an option that gives me freedom to exercise regardless of the weather and my schedule – something I can do indoors and can fit between finishing at the office and an evening meeting.

And that is where my third obstacle comes into play: equipment. I don’t have the equipment I need at home to make that work. Getting a gym membership doesn’t work for when I don’t have much time.

I need equipment at home ready to go. Something like a rowing machine.

When I did rehab after my heart attack, they had me use a rowing machine as part of my exercise routine. I really enjoyed that piece of equipment.

They had me on other equipment too, but it was the rowing that I enjoyed the most. The treadmill was boring and the elliptical, well I had to be careful not to get out of rhythm with it and fall off the thing.

I really didn’t like the movement, maybe because I can’t dance.

No. A rowing machine is what I need. I’ve done the research. Of course, they’re expensive, but I have narrowed it down to one or two possible makes.

Now all I have to do is convince my wife. How’d I do, Lil?

Here’s the thing: After making a decision to do something, evaluation and planning are what come next. And it is true with your relationship with God as well. If you feel convinced that God is asking something of you, or you feel convicted to do something for God, evaluate your life, determine the obstacles and plan a method of overcoming them. Then follow through.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What obstacles are in your way of following what God is asking you to do?  Leave your comment below.

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Sleep Is Just Like Temptation

Have you ever been too tired to function? Sleep has you in its grips, and no matter what you do you just can’t seem to stay awake.

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It happens to young children …

One time we were driving home from church. The sun was shining with all its might through the car windows. Music was playing; Lily and I were talking.

I glanced in the rearview mirror and I saw our two year old slowly slipping into a sleep.

We were just two minutes out of the church parking lot.

Lily spun around and started making noise, waving, wiggling toes … she would’ve done jumping jacks if it wasn’t for the seat belt . . . well  . . . and the car roof.

From the vantage point of the mirror I could see Karlie sinking deeper and deeper into sleep and there was nothing that Lily could do to stop her. Sleep had overcome her. No power on earth was going to reverse the spell that was claiming our daughter.

I also remember watching my dad and grandfather get KO’d by reclining chairs they sat in on Sunday afternoons. My brother and I played as my dad and grandpa talked and then … silence.

We couldn’t figure out what happened. It was like a drug had been administered by my grandmother during our meal. They were gone . . . for hours!

Now Lily administers that same drug, because I can sit down to watch a perfectly riveting golf tourney on TV and in minutes find myself fast asleep.

Actually, I find myself a few hours later waking up to something other than the golf tourney!

Sometimes sleep can’t be stopped. It’s powerful; it’s controlling. It can be welcomed but also dreaded.

That was the case for me the other day. I had been away for two days and not slept very much. I had sat through an all-day meeting and then had a two hour drive home.

About half way into the drive I started feeling tired. I turned up the radio and tried to sing along, like I had my own personal Karaoke contest going on and I was winning (can you actually win at those contests?).

I ran my fingers through my hair, squeezed my arms, rubbed my neck … but my eyelids still got heavier and heavier. I’m sure I closed them once or twice for longer than a blink.

… Not too scary having that happen in a big old recliner. it IS scary when you’re in a tin box moving down the highway at 130 km’s per hour!

Did I write that? I’m sure I meant 119 km’s per hour.

I knew I was in trouble but was having a hard time thinking. I just knew I needed to pull over.

I prayed, “Lord help me get to a travel centre.” When I saw a sign for one, I fought sleep like crazy to get there. I pulled in, reclined my seat, and slept for 40 minutes. I then drove home refreshed.

Here’s the thing: Temptation can be powerful – just like sleep at times – so powerful that it’s hard to think of alternatives and exit points. It’s those times you need to have a plan in place and know what you should do. I knew I needed to get off the road. I didn’t have to think about it; I knew it. When you’re under extreme temptation, you have to already know what to do, so that all that’s left is to pray that God would help you do it.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How have you learned to fight off temptation? Leave your comments below.

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The Genius Behind Garage Sales

On Saturday my church held a ginormous garage sale – it was so big we called it a yard sale. When you get dozens of families contributing household items for the same cause, it gets big fast.

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The purpose was to raise money for one of our kids’ programs. And we did just that – close to $3000! The church got behind it and a lot of people pitched in.

But in my last blog, I wrote about how I don’t like garage sales (you can read that blog here), so you have to wonder, have I changed my mind? Am I now a diehard garage sale proponent?

Well, not exactly. But the yard sale did great and I even found a few items that I claimed as treasures.

Don’t get me wrong, there was a lot of junk – tons of junk! And when I first saw the piles of it, all I could think of was, “Does anybody own a garbage truck, and how quickly can we get it over here?” But the piles kept shrinking!

The day of the sale was not the greatest. We had some rain, so people walked away with purchased items that were already slightly washed and wiped down.

We collected a dollar here and fifty cents there, and it all added up to a sizeable pot in the end.  There were hot dogs being sold, cars getting washed, baking being eaten; people talking, telling stories, and laughing. It was a great time.

I couldn’t help but make some observations about it all:

The first thing I noticed was that there was a lot of things sold to those of us who were running the yard sale. We now all have some things from each other’s homes. For instance, I now have some of Bob’s stuff and Adrian’s stuff.

In the future, we should just swap ten items with someone else in the church and do it every seven years. That’s close to being Biblical … in a completely wrong kind of way.

Another thing was there was an awful lot of socializing going on. Other than the super sellers (like my wife), a lot of us just hung around, talked with each other, helped a few people, and talked some more.

It turned out really well for bonding as a church. We shared an experience together, one that created some good memories.

The other thing I noticed was the effort that everyone put into setting up and taking down. It was amazing to see the coordinated work from so many people, young and old, getting the church parking lot and foyer back to looking the way it should for the next day (Sunday).

I was really proud of my church! The people who came got a good taste of what we’re like at KAC. … And that made it worth putting on and attending a yard sale.

Here’s the thing: Sometimes we get our focus on the wrong things at church. We evaluate the building, the service style, or the available programs. We might get focussed on the quality of the worship or the pastor’s sermon. But what’s really important are the people, and how they work together. A church is not a building – it’s God’s people who gather together in the same place of worship. We shouldn’t ever forget that.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: When have you seen people working really well together? Leave your comment below.

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Who Likes Garage Sales Anyway?

I’ve never been a huge fan of garage sales.

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It’s not that I think they should be outlawed or anything like that. I’m perfectly fine with people setting up shop in their driveways with their unwanted stuff. And it doesn’t bother me in the least to see people stop and browse that stuff in hopes of buying some of it.

I just don’t like going to them. Don’t get me wrong, I like a deal just like everyone else. It’s that I haven’t found any real deals at the two garage sales I’ve visited in the past.

That’s right, I think I’ve been on other people’s property, with items strewn over their driveways for the purpose of selling, a total of two times.

It’s not my thing. I know people who find treasures at these sales. I’ve even been in homes where the owners have pointed to some prize antique-looking ornament in their living room and have said to me, “I got that at a garage sale”.

It looked great; it fit well in their decor; I was truly impressed. For an instant I felt like right then going to a garage sale to see if there was something for me. But that feeling wore off as fast as it came upon me.

My problem with garage sales is all in my eyes. It has nothing to do with the fact that my eyes are green or I need to wear glasses to read. It has everything to do with what I see when I survey the merchandise at garage sales.

What I see is . . . junk! That’s right, I see stuff that someone doesn’t want any more, things that are past their prime usage point, items that I don’t need. I just see junk, and I can’t get past that.

I’ve tried twice and the garage sale concept hasn’t taken on me. I don’t really care if I can get something that I don’t need (and may never really want) for a buck. And it gives me no thrill to talk the owner down to 50 cents either.

I’m sure that if I went to enough garage sales over a long enough period of time that something of value, some uniquely and intricately created treasure would emerge from them. But that sounds too much like evolution and I don’t believe in that either.

And even if it were true, I couldn’t wait the billions of years for that treasure to materialize!

So, I don’t go to garage sales. I do drive a little slower when I go by them in my car though. But that’s not to try and get a glimpse of what’s up for sale. It’s so I don’t clip some wild-eyed garage saler with my car as he darts across the street to get a used novel for 75 cents.

I don’t need a middle-aged, heavy-set guy rolling up the hood of my car or getting caught up in the undercarriage.

That’s how I feel about garage sales. But having said all that, in part two of this blog (read here), I’ll reveal some astonishing findings.

Here’s the thing: It is one thing to seek treasure; it’s a whole other thing to seek treasure in the right place. Sometimes we seek treasures – like joy, peace, comfort, love and hope – in places where they are worn out, broken and useless. Seeking these things from God is the only place to find lasting treasure.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What’s the greatest treasure you’ve found at a garage sale? Leave your comment below.