relationships

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Why You Get Springtime Colds

There’s nothing worse than a springtime cold – partly because you’re not supposed to get a cold when the weather is warm (or just “warmer” this spring).

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Colds are for the dead of winter when it’s nasty outside, -30 and everyone is trapped inside to spread their germs around like kids trading hockey cards in Johnny’s basement.

But I could see this one coming on. I could have predicted it. I let myself get run-down and then put myself in situations where I could easily catch what someone else was trying to get rid of.

I had a couple of late nights and then a trip to Toronto and back the same night. The next morning I had to be up for a seven o’clock meeting, so I only got a few hours of sleep.

I knew right then I was vulnerable. My office is rather frigid at this “in between seasons” time of year, so I was also a little chilled during the day.

Then on the weekend, at a family get together, there were several who were fighting off colds and other bugs, and Sunday I shook a lot of hands at church, hands that are filled with germs.

Monday I started sneezing and blowing my nose. I don’t think I’ve ever sneezed as much as I have this week. I would say for the first four days I must have sneezed about thirty times each day.

I normally sneeze in two’s. My brother’s sneeze pattern is about 4 or 5 in a row. This week I was sneezing like my brother, multiple sneezes almost every time.

Friday morning I woke up with a sore throat and I worried that I wouldn’t have a voice to preach on Sunday. I know my congregation prays for me … I’m just hoping they’re praying that I have a voice and not the other way around!

The last two days I really haven’t felt all that great. But this morning, after a very restless night, I thought playing hockey would be the ticket to get me feeling better.

There was no sore throat when I got up so I put on an extra sweatshirt and let my pores push all those bad bugs out of me while I sweat. I wrote about this method in my blog “Guaranteed To Cure The Common Cold” (you can read it here).

This is not the time of year to be having a lingering cold. It’s no fun BBQ-ing and not being able to taste the Montreal Steak Spice on your steak, or being able to smell the fresh breeze while you’re outside doing yard work.

No one wants to be looking out the window at the green grass, budding trees and feeling too lousy to get out there to do anything.

It’s a different story in the middle of the winter with the snow piled up to the window sills and the wind howling at the front door. When it’s like that you’re almost glad you don’t feel like going outside.

I guess I better pay closer attention to the needs of my body.

Here’s the Thing: Like a springtime cold, when you find yourself in a situation when you think, “This shouldn’t be happening to me”, take time to dissect it. God may be trying to teach you through your experience. Don’t just accept it without seeking to find what God wants you to learn from it.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you learned from a situation you didn’t think you should be in? I’d really like to hear from you. You can leave a message below.

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How To Get Moving On Spring Cleaning

You know it’s spring when you get invited to sweep out your garage. The other day my wife informed me that she was going out to sweep all the dirt and grit from the winter out of our garage.

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I knew right away that this information was intel that I was to gather for a secret mission that was coming up – specifically the mission was to come on out and help her sweep.

I pretended that I was still gathering data on the subject to delay my decision, but after a few minutes I decided to at least check up on the operation in the garage.

Just as I thought, she was doing a great job. But the work had halted because she was talking to our neighbour. That’s one of the problems with working outside in the spring – everyone’s outside.

To make it worse, we haven’t seen them or talked to them much because all winter we drive right into our garage and go in the house. Now that the weather is sort of, thinking about turning warmer, people are outside and we have to catch up.

That makes tasks like sweeping out the garage take twice as long. I had joined the conversation but when we were done I grabbed the other broom and started sweeping with Lily.

Of course I wasn’t doing it quite the way she likes it done. Apparently the broom I was using creates a little more dust in the air than her broom. Or was it the technique that she used that kept the dust from forming clouds in the air? I’m not sure.

Once we settled that dust issue, however, we really were working like a machine. I wouldn’t say I would eat off the garage floor but it was looking pretty clean.

That’s not to say that there won’t be other missions out to the garage to clean and put things away. I noticed that we have a mission to the dump coming up soon.

This operation will have to take place in the next few days and it will involve our son who has a large vehicle this week. I’m just concerned that our communications have some outside interference (his friends) and we may miss the target unless we move in quickly.

All these covert operations that are signs that spring is upon us gave me a desire to try an overt operation. I’ve been waiting to do this for a while now.

I took my bike rack that I got for Christmas and mounted it on the roof of my car. There was no camouflaging this from aerial surveillance or from ground recon work.

The rack is in plain view and is a clear signal to all that spring is here, even though we need the temperature to warm up a bit to feel like it’s spring.

Here’s the thing: Having a quiet time with God is so important because though it is more of a covert action – something that no one else really sees – it is something that prepares you for what lies ahead. You will be far more prepared to face the challenges and opportunities that will come if you have prepared your heart with God first, in your private time with Him.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question:  What do you have to clean up that won’t be noticed too much but will make a big difference just the same? I’d love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below.

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Having Trouble Deciding On A Movie?

Sometimes I wonder how compatible my wife and I really are. In lots of areas we fit together well, but when it comes to movie selection we are opposites.

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For instance, last night we thought of going to the theatre, but the one movie out of umpteen choices that we could agree upon was going to start too late for Lily’s liking. The alternative was to rent a movie at home.

I went to work at finding something that I liked and Lil might be able to tolerate but after about a half hour of watching trailers I kind of gave up. I’d seen several that I would rent in a flash but not with Lily.

We are so opposite that way. She likes romantic movies that are also a little funny … and you know those movies are found under the genre of “Sappy”.

I, on the other hand, like movies that are mostly action. My motto is if nothing’s going to get blown up and no one’s going to get shot at, it’s really not worth seeing.

There is one tiny area that we have in common: we both like movies that have some comedy in them.

I don’t really like straight comedies because they tend to also be very stupid movies. And I know it’s not nice to use the word “stupid” any more, so instead I’ll just say, Jim Carrey, Will Ferrell, Seth Rogen. I could use more words, but I’m sure you get the picture.

Lily feels the same way, so we look for movies that are funny but not ridiculous.

So when Lily looks for a movie we can watch together she looks for something romantic and a little funny. When I look for a movie to watch with her it’s an action movie that has some funny lines in it. That’s the best we can do.

Last night I found nothing matching our criteria. Quite frankly, they don’t make many movies in those categories.

I figure the movie industry must do a lot of polling to find out what people like to watch, and if they’re not making many advent-edies or rom-edies, then there must be something wrong with Lily and I.

Either that or the movie industry has a secret plan to break up marriages. You know that’s not a far-fetched theory when you think of the content out there that’s degrading and damaging to marriage … maybe there’s something there for the conspiracy theorists to work on.

That still doesn’t help my problem when I want to go to the theatre or stay at home and watch a movie with my wife. It doesn’t help us feel compatible either.

I’m not sure how we are going to solve this dilemma, but last night Lily got busy working on a project and I . . . well, I watched a movie that had some pretty big explosions in it.

Here’s the thing: In a small group setting we look at the same Bible passage and glean from it together. But there are areas of your life that need specific and personal application. Don’t neglect a personal time with God, just because you study the Bible with others. You need both.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How have you neglected personal growth because you focussed on group input?  I’d love to hear from you. You can leave your comment below.

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How To Delegate Responsibility To Your Children

You know the saying, “If you give a man a fish you feed him for a day; if you teach a man to fish you feed him for a life time”? I think I may have just taught my daughter to fish.

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I don’t really mean she’s become a fisherman, or fisherwoman, or even a fisher person. I mean that I think I’ve just taught my daughter to do her own income tax.

When your children grow up, you look back on those key moments in their lives where you are proud of their accomplishments and think, “Wow, we’ve just come through a milestone.”

… Things like their first step, learning to tie their shoes, getting their driver’s license, graduating from university, and learning to complete their own tax returns.

I need to pause for a moment . . . haaaaa . . . my little girl is all grown up now.

There is a method that one should use in teaching someone else something. Normally you first show them the tax form so they know what it looks like. Then you show them their completed form so they know there’s some work involved.

The next step is to have them watch you do it, and ask questions along the way. And finally, you watch them do it, and then hand them their income tax file from previous years and say, “It’s all your responsibility now.”

Well, I just did all that in one year, one day, actually in a couple of hours. I’m not sure it will all stick, but I think she’s got the basics so that I may only get a phone call or two next year, if her fishing line gets caught on the rocks … I mean if she runs into a snag.

The one thing I’m a little worried about is that she will approach income tax with the same dread and disdain that I do. She’s heard my frustration, she’s felt the chill in the basement when I’m working on it and she knew to stay clear of dad.

It’s no secret I don’t like income tax season. I wrote about it in a blog last year called, “The Season I Hate The Most”. You can read that one here.

I hope my attitude doesn’t rub off on her. Maybe I should change my attitude, but I’ve been doing income taxes for myself and my family for way over 30 years. That’s not an easy attitude adjustment to make.

I wouldn’t say tax season comes as a surprise to me each spring, but It’s funny how this attitude arrives every year at this time. It’s not that funny, however. It’s only funny like hitting your funny bone (a sharp pain that lingers for a while).

One thing I know, this is the first year Karlie is getting a big refund, and she’s all excited about income tax for the first time in her life. Here’s hoping that attitude continues.

Here’s the Thing: When we’re young we lean on our parents for our spiritual base. We follow their influence or tradition, even their approach to spiritual things and faith. In essence, we let them do all our spiritual work. But we have to take responsibility for our own spiritual lives. We have to go from leaning on our parents, to having a personal relationship with God. If we don’t, we will always be relying on a parent, a pastor, or someone to feed us spiritually.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you done to take responsibility for your spiritual life?

I’d love to hear from you; you can leave a comment below.

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When Your Son’s Life Parallels Yours

My son turned 23 the other day, and what stood out to me is just how much his life has paralleled mine so far.

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I thought for a moment that I had a “do-over” in him. And I wondered if a lot of parents think that … they see their son or daughter as a way to correct or change their own path. In some cases, they see their children as a way to fulfill a long-lost dream.

I didn’t dwell on that very long because I realized that he has some living ahead of him that I have no desire to do over.

When I look back, I don’t want to have to finish my education, or decide on a career, or choose a mate, or a number of other things. No, that’s for Mike to go through. All I can do, or want to do, is be a sounding board for him in all those things.

But still, it’s hard not to dream for him and want to make decisions for him when I see him having to make the same decisions and going through the same circumstances as I did.

There are times I want to shout out, “Choose this”, or “Do that and you will save yourself time and pain”.

But that would be cheating him out of figuring out life. That would be keeping him from growing up. That would be preventing him from becoming himself instead of a do-over of dad.

Besides, when we’re 23 there’s something inside us that compels us to experience things for ourselves and not take the advice of the wise sage.

We went out for dinner to celebrate this occasion. And there was a young family who sat at a table across from us: a mom, a dad and a daughter about 6 years old. I looked back at my family, all adults now, and flashed back to remember days long ago when my children were young

How often I have said, “Wow, he’s a lot like me in the way he thinks and the things he does, the choices he makes. Even his physical development parallels mine.”

Mike laughs at me and calls me a fatty. But I look at him, knowing my physique was identical at his age and say, “This is all yours in thirty five years!”

I never had this conversation with my dad, but I know there were lots of parallels between us, too.

Back at home to open presents after dinner, the last present he opened was a new 3 wood. I could see the excitement in his eyes, the longing to get on the golf course and play.

That’s something that he has become passionate about through his friends. It’s also with his friends that he has developed his ability. Though I share the same love for the game, he didn’t catch the bug from me.

But even in that, he parallels my life: picking up the game from a friend and being mentored in golf by him.

What’s good is we can play together and maybe this will be the year he finally beats me.

Here’s the thing:  A relationship with God is personal and though it may look like your journey to God parallels someone else’s, each relationship with God is unique. You can’t replicate your relationship with God in someone else. However, you can fellowship together in your relationships with God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: In what ways has your life paralleled someone else’s?

I would love to hear from you. You can leave your comment below.

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It’s Hard To Let It Go

Today’s post is a guest blog by Lily Silcock, my wife.  Lily is a home maker and virtual executive assistant for an international company.  Lily is the mother of two grown children and has been married to Paul for 28 years.

After being patient for what felt like forever, I finally have new living room furniture. Why did I want new furniture, you ask? I liked our old couch; it’s just that it was almost 29 years old … and pink! … well, “dusty rose” to be exact.  It was very “in” in 1985.

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But dusty rose/pink has not been “in” for quite some time now. I’ve just swallowed my pride and lived with it because there was always something more urgent to spend the money on. And the couch was still in pretty good shape.

But all good couches eventually die. For the last number of years, when anyone over about 170 lbs sat on it, they looked like they were eating their knees! Apparently, there’s a shelf life for couch springs.

The ironic thing is, after sounding like a broken record for years now, saying I wanted new furniture, I found it hard to part with my old pink couch. Its springs were gone; it was not good for my back, but for some reason, I didn’t want to let it go.

Paul and I got the couch when we were first married. I can still remember the day it was delivered to our little apartment. I was so excited until the movers said it wouldn’t fit up the staircase of our building. In the end, it had to be hoisted up over the balcony of our third floor walk-up.

It was worth it. We spent many hours on that couch, talking, reading, dreaming … and Paul napping. He’s always maintained that it had some power to suck the life right out of him. I believe it. He couldn’t lie on it without falling asleep in about thirty seconds. But then again, if Paul gets even semi-horizontal anywhere, he’ll be asleep in about thirty seconds.

In each house we’ve lived, that pink couch has been front and centre in the living room.  It’s been part of every Christmas and birthday and special event our family has celebrated.

As a matter of fact, every year on our kids’ birthdays, after the presents were opened, we took a picture of them sitting on that couch with their gifts beside them. The couch was like a measuring stick, showing how they had grown bigger each year.

That pink couch was familiar and I was used to it. I can still picture Karlie as a toddler trying to climb up on it. I can see Mike and Karlie putting on puppet shows from behind it. I remember both kids curled up with Paul on that couch as he read them Franklin the turtle story books.

There were nerf gun wars that began from that couch, sock wars, and tickle fights. That couch absorbed both the laughter of hilarious events retold, and the tears of hearts hurt and healed. A lot of life took place around that couch.

I’ll admit it, it was hard to let it go. Even though it was no longer good, and even a bit of an eye-sore, I was kind of emotionally attached to it.

Here’s the thing:  Just like our old couch, we can get attached to attitudes, thought patterns, and behaviours that aren’t good for us. They’ve just become familiar and comfortable and so we hang on to them. Give them over to God and let them go. He has something much better for you that He’s waiting to deliver. You won’t regret it. I LOVE our new furniture … why did I put up with that old couch for so long?

Take care,

Lily Silcock

Question: What is something that has been hard for you to let go of?  Leave your comment below.

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Why Projects Always Take Longer Than You Plan For

Maybe it’s just me, but any project I take on turns out to be more than I bargained for. It doesn’t matter what it is, nothing is as simple as I think it’s going to be. Something I think will take 10 minutes will take a half hour.

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The other day I decided to fix a broken standing pole lamp that Lily really liked.

I took some measurements and headed to the hardware store. I was hoping for an all-in-one-fix-your-standing-pole-lamp-diy kit, but though I looked everywhere, I couldn’t find one.

I scoured the electrical section and found wire that I needed. There were two gauges to choose from; I picked the heavier gauge. I grabbed a switch and a socket that looked about the same as the original ones and headed home.

So I purchased three items and, as it turned out, all of them were different that the original items in the lamp. But for some reason, I figured they would work just fine … and that’s all Lily cared about. She wanted the lamp to work.

It’s like the instruction sheet mentality, where you think, “Who needs instructions? Just do it and don’t worry about spare parts; it will all work out.”

Well, my first problem was in replacing the wire. The opening in the pole was tight; I should have bought the lighter gauged wire. But I was going to make it work! So I forced it in and, yes, it probably took 3X longer than I thought, but I got it done.

I was surprised that the socket went on really quickly. That should have concerned me. When something is that easy, it usually means I forgot to do something. But I was on a roll and moved on to the switch.

I realized that I bought an on/off switch when the original had been a dimmer switch. At that point I didn’t really care. Lily was going to have light, and when you have light, why in the world would you ever want to dim that?!

With the switch in place, I plugged the lamp in and flicked that switch. Voila, it worked! I thought this was one of the easiest projects I’d done in a long time.

That’s when I went to put the lamp shade on and realized why the old socket was different from the new one. It was used to secure the shade to the lamp.

I had to take off the socket and use the old one, and that required me to use solder. … I can’t solder worth a darn and it took me forever to make the change.

When my project was finally complete, I didn’t stand back and think, “Great job, Paul. You did it again.”

I placed the lamp stand in the living room, turned my back to it and walked away thinking, “I don’t want to look at that lamp for the rest of the night.”

Here’s the thing: Sometimes we want to fix our problems in life with ideas we’ve tried before or recycled approaches from some self-help source. The best approach, however, is to seek God for a fresh solution to your problem. Ask Him to apply His power to the problem at hand. He will use the right materials for the job.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What gives you the greatest frustration in problems or projects you have?  Leave your comment below.

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Another Painful Picture Experience

I don’t really like getting my picture taken. There are lots of black and whites of me as a kid, but I didn’t have much of a say back then. And besides, they were mostly action shots of me doing stuff when I didn’t know the camera was on me.

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By my teens, I had discovered the sneaky way people take pictures when you’re not looking and I avoided cameras like the plague. In fact, it’s really hard to find a picture of me in my teens outside my high school yearbooks.

But the picture curse has followed me. I married into a family that loves to take family pictures. When my wife’s family gets together, a family picture is difficult on two counts: One, there are a lot of us so it’s hard to get everyone in the picture, looking half normal all at the same time. And two, is the holding of the pose for 10 or more cameras to be lined up and clicked. … It’s a low point of every reunion for me.

This Christmas the traditional family picture was missed. I didn’t miss it, mind you, but my mother-in-law forgot to mention it and we snuck out of there without that annual painful experience.

But my luck ran out when my wife, Lily, announced she wanted a family picture the next day. You might think that I would have been happy with this photo shoot because there was only four of us and one camera. But remember, I don’t like having my picture taken.

No one in my family, other than Lil, likes these photographic sessions, either. We all have bad memories. The worst memories hang on the wall in our hallway. We were all together on a cruise a few years ago and Lily wanted a family picture.

The cruise line wanted to make some money, so they had photographers who would arrange you in all sorts of poses – poses I would not normally be found in. You get the idea … three out of four of us hate the hallway pictures.

Lily thought everyone would be happy to have their picture taken this year, on the promise that she would replace the dreaded cruise pictures. (That’s not going to happen, I’ll guarantee it.)

Well, the photo session was horrible, at least from my standpoint. I’m not that photogenic, and I’m not a natural poser. I was either standing too far from Lily, or I was lurching over her. They all were having a great laugh with the all pictures I was ruining.  But I wasn’t.

At one point there was talk of just cropping me out of the picture because they all looked really good together. They could be a family of three. I wouldn’t have minded that but I was still having to pose for the pictures.

Finally, they got a picture they were happy with, or that was semi-decent of me. I started to walk away, trying to shake off the trauma of the whole experience.

Then they called me back. They wanted pictures of just Lily and I. Oh boy … here we go again.

Here’s the thing: At the start of a new year, we have the opportunity to read through the Bible in a year. Now you may have some bad memories of trying and not finishing, or finding parts of the Bible really dry. You might want to avoid that experience again. But let me encourage you not to think of the painful process; think of the lasting memories you will have as you soak up God’s Word.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you dislike about taking pictures? Leave your comment below.

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When Men Rise To The Challenge

In our world, men usually get a bad rap. It used to be a man’s world, but now it is anything but a man’s world.

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On television, whether in shows, commercials, or movies, men are portrayed for the most part as babbling, goofy, unreliable, can’t-get-the-job-done idiots, while women and children are mostly seen as smart, capable and in control.

That is except in the movie I saw last night. There was barely a woman in the movie and the lead character (a guy) shot and fought with superior wisdom and stealth to defeat the enemy single handedly. I was proud to be a man!

It reminded me of the pride I had in being a man at my church’s Christmas banquet. I know, how could I be proud of being a man at a banquet? Women do the cooking and cleaning; they do all the real work, the men just do the eating.

Well, not at this banquet. Yes, we had some token women who worked hard and did an admiral job. But this banquet was the guys’ from start to finish. The whole idea for it came out of the mind of a man.

The men of our church planned it, executed it and got the job done. It was a beautiful thing. There were men in the kitchen cooking, men serving the food, men in the hall setting and taking down the tables and chairs, and men washing and drying the dishes.

Men, I guarantee, also did most of the eating. If you were a woman at our church banquet last week, there wasn’t much for you to do, although I saw some women desperate to get in on the glory, trying to make punch, and help clear some of the tables.

Sure, some of the wives helped their husbands prepare some of the food at home. And sure, the stores really cashed in on the pies that were bought for our dessert. But this was a guy thing all the way, and we pulled it off.

To me, this all shows the adaptability of men. There was a day when there wouldn’t be enough men that could pull off a banquet like we did. There might have been appendages in the carrots, undercooked meat, styrofoam plates and plastic cutlery.

But the 21st century man can do it all. We are tough enough for the big jobs and gentle enough for the delicate jobs as well. In a day and age when men can’t seem to get a break from the put downs, this was an heroic moment.

I think the women of the church had a hard time believing it was all real. They kept taking pictures of the men working throughout the whole meal. It was like they needed to record this for history.

I do worry, however, that the pictures may be used against us at the next church Christmas banquet. The women may haul out those pictures as evidence to support the men doing it again.

Here’s the thing: We are all capable of doing things that we are not normally in the habit of doing. We don’t imagine ourselves doing it so we don’t even try; we might even argue  against it. God wants to stretch you to grow in your relationship with Him. And that will mean doing things that you are not in the habit of doing. Maybe it’s journalling your devotions, or spending more time with God, or serving in a new capacity. Whatever it is for you, don’t make excuses. You are capable; just try it and grow.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you done lately that is out of your comfort zone? Leave your comment below.

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A Plea for Understanding

This blog is for my wife, Lily.  I don’t mind if you all get in on it, but it’s really just for her. You see, we’ve been married for over 28 years and she still doesn’t understand some things about me.

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I know there are some men and women out there thinking, “My husband or my wife doesn’t understand things about me, either”.  I’m sure there is some kind of name for this, something like “misunderstandinitis”.

The other day, I heard of a condition called “affluenza” — meaning someone’s wealth can cause them to dissociate their bad actions from consequences. This condition was used to successfully keep a 16 year old out of jail after driving drunk and killing four pedestrians. Some misunderstanding!

I have a condition that causes all kinds of misunderstanding; it’s called hypoglycaemia. It’s a big word but basically it means I get low blood sugar. There is not enough glucose getting to my brain so my body craves more sugar to replace the low supply.

What my wife doesn’t understand is that this happens really fast, and I often get it around dinner time. She hasn’t figure out why I can’t wait to have dinner at 6 or 7; it doesn’t matter to her, she could go forever without eating.

I can almost hear some of you right now asking, “Well Paul, why don’t you make dinner and have it ready when you need to eat?” If I made dinner, I’d be bringing home hot wings three nights a week, pizza the other nights and for variety maybe Five Guys burgers every once in a while.

It would get a little hard on the wallet and would not be the healthiest for us … and I am concerned for my wife’s health, so she has to do the cooking. Okay, enough on that.

Back to her inability to understand me after so many years … At dinner time, I need to eat. She doesn’t understand that my body really reacts. I get all weak, like you would feel if you just ran a marathon, only without being out of breath. I also start to sweat – “perspire” may be a nicer way to say that – and I feel very hot.

I get shaky on the inside – my hands don’t actually shake but they feel like they are – and I crave something to take that feeling away. So I hunt for food, anything, chips, cookies, crackers, peanuts, ANYTHING!

All this happens in an instant. I can be fine one minute and the next, well, it comes over me like turning from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde. I get all surly and cranky.

I think that if I lived with a person like that, I would want to keep Mr. Hyde hidden as much as I could. But not my wife! She is surprised every time Mr. Hyde shows up in the kitchen and dinner is 45 minutes to an hour away.

I love my wife; Mr. Hyde doesn’t like her as much as I do, but he still loves her. But man, can I get a little understanding around here?!

Here’s the thing: Often we want what we want from God but don’t think about understanding His perspective on what we want. If we are in an asking position before God, we should be seeking to understand His position … and there is no better way than to become more and more familiar with God’s Word.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What are you most often misunderstood about? Leave your comment below.