relationships

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Three Cheers for My Team!

Sometimes you just have to brag about your team. Sometimes they need to get a little recognition. It doesn’t have to be much, just something to get people to notice.

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When hockey players score a goal, the fans erupt, the players raise their sticks in the air, and they get a few hugs from the boys on the line. When a race car driver wins a race, he does a victory lap to the cheers and waves of the crowd, then finishes off by doing a few donuts in front of the grandstand.

They do it for a few reasons: They’re excited that they did something great. They just want to celebrate. They’re making a statement, “Look what I just did; aren’t I great?”

It’s bragging in an acceptable way. No one likes the guy that tells you what he did and how awesome he is for doing it. But if he does a backflip in the end zone after scoring a touchdown, we do think he’s great.

There are some things, however, that you can’t really high five or get all snuggly-in-a-group-hug over. So what do you do? How do you celebrate those accomplishments that defy any kind of real emotional explosion?

I don’t know the answer to that, so I’m writing a blog about it. My church did something amazing that probably many are unaware of.

It didn’t happen with everyone watching. It wasn’t one heroic act. Rather, it was several little acts that the people in my church did last Sunday that together is a really BIG DEAL!

Last Sunday we had a presentation in church about World Vision. Afterwards, the guy that gave the presentation had a table in the foyer for people to stop by. On the table were photo cards of children who could be sponsored for about $40 per month.

To most people that’s not a lot of money, because they drink coffee. You see, they usually tell you how inexpensive it is to sponsor a child by comparing the cost to a number of coffees at Tim Horton’s.

It works out to be less than one coffee a day to sponsor a child. Since I don’t drink coffee, that’s just forty bucks straight out of my pocket, but for most people its just doing without that third cup of the day.

Any way, my church sponsored 18 children last Sunday morning! What’s more is that the last time this World Vision rep visited our church about 5 years ago, we sponsored 22 kids!

You might think that doesn’t sound like much, but let me tell you, the guy couldn’t believe it. He said for a church our size, it would be a big number if we had sponsored half that many!

The last time he was here, World Vision was so amazed, they called him to make sure he got his numbers right!

All I know is this Sunday in church we should be high-fiving each other, giving out hugs and maybe a few back flips down the center aisle. WAY TO GO, KAC! – you have a huge heart for the disadvantaged in the world!

Think of it like we scored a goal. Just don’t ask me to do the back flip – I’ve got a bad knee.

Here’s the thing: Sometimes we don’t get noticed for doing things that are important. Know this – it never goes unnoticed by God. He sees even the smallest thing you do for your brother or sister.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What would you like to celebrate that doesn’t usually get noticed? Leave your comment below.

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Choose Your Socks Wisely

They say you never know what a day will bring, but sometimes you can sense a day is going to have a certain theme to it. It would be nice if you could go to a drawer and, like picking out a pair of socks, pick your day’s mood (and, of course, check to make sure there’s no holes in it).

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Some people get up on the wrong side of the bed. Others roll out of bed the wrong way and voila, their day seems to be magically selected for them. Fortunately for me, I usually roll out of bed feeling good about what is ahead for me.

Unfortunately, that feeling doesn’t always last very long. The sock drawer effect happens and I pick out a day of frustration to wear like a ratty, old pair of sweat socks.

That happened to me recently. For the first hour or so (getting up, doing my devotions, showering and having breakfast) everything went well. Then I was informed that I needed to drive my wife somewhere on my way to work.

Sometimes it just takes a little rewriting of the daily script to initiate “a day of interruptions” theme. … Oh, and believe me, that did it! Driving Lily to her destination, I was a little agitated. It detained me from getting down to my planned work.

When I finally got to work, in walked an unplanned, unscheduled, perfect illustration for my “interruptions” day. The man was seeking help but each time he had come the previous week, he had been told to come back as I had been on vacation.

The last time he had been told to phone first before he came in. Instead, he just showed up. He was in need of some financial assistance and though I am not a money lender, as a pastor I am used to trying to help out people in his position.

He needed food and the solution was to get him a grocery store gift card. However, after being put off a few times already, he was not in a mood to be put off again.

As I listened to his story, my heart went out to him. Yes, it would be an interruption for me to stop what I was doing to go buy him a gift card, but I felt that’s what I should do.

Unfortunately, he had a few restrictions. He could not go to the grocery store that was the closest to the church. The next closest did not have a store near where he lived.

That meant this interruption would take even longer. Half way there I remembered I had taken my wallet out of my pocket and it was still on my desk at church, so I turned around and went back.

I got the wallet, drove back to the grocery store, and bought the gift card only to notice that the store was affiliated with a grocery store that was close to the church. I could have purchased the card there and saved half the time!

That’s how my day went, one thing after another … until I got home and changed my socks.

Here’s the thing: You can focus on the frustration of each day and get all agitated inside. OR you can view the events of the day as things God brings your way and deal with them as opportunities to serve Him. Your choice.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What is your biggest frustration?  Leave your comment below.

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Dreading Another Shopping Trip

Shopping is NOT my favourite sport. I like to do almost anything else rather than shop, unless you count doing work around the house. But for me, shopping for clothes with my wife is in a whole other category.

For starters, shopping – especially in a mall – causes an energy drain in me like nothing else. I can enter a mall standing tall and walking briskly, but after a couple of stores I’m trudging along like a soldier carrying a 40 lb. backpack at the end of a 20 km hike.

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I don’t understand how women can shop for clothes. The options are limitless, and I’m just talking about the stores to choose from. In any given mall there’s an average of three men’s clothing stores, but there are usually over 10 stores carrying women’s garments.

In each store, there are racks and racks of clothes that look very similar with merely a pattern or colour change to them. But it seems most women have to browse each and every rack.

There is something about touching the clothes that women feel they must do. They have to touch almost every piece of clothing in the store. I can tell if I’m going to like something standing five feet from the rack, but women have to grab hold of each piece and look at the front of it … and then the back of it.

I don’t know much about women’s fashion, but if you’re a “winter” don’t even go near the yellow and peach displays. It’s a waste of time.

Women’s clothing stores also crowd their space. There are too many clothes for the square footage. For men, this causes a huge problem. We are left standing in a sea of shirts and skirts and accessories with very little room to walk around.

It’s in women’s stores that you find men holding purses … not because they want to, but because their wives have to try on a third or fourth coat just to make sure that the first three coats that looked the same were the wrong ones.

Why don’t they put chairs in women’s clothing stores, either by the entrance so we can catch our breath before we move on to yet another store, or near the change room so we don’t have to be called over to look at something?

I’ve looked at other men in women’s stores and they all have the same glazed over look in their eyes, like they’ve been hypnotized by bright blues, many shades of red, and green patterns on the blouses – do they still call them blouses or just shirts now?

It should be mandatory to put comfort stations in women’s clothing stores, like a play area for men instead of kids. You can picture it, can’t you? – complete with comfortable chairs, a big screen TV with some game on, complimentary drinks and peanuts while you waited.

I know, that’s called a restaurant … never mind. Hey Lil, I’ll meet you in the sports lounge around the corner when you’re done shopping; here’s your purse back.

Here’s the thing: When I look at my life, the things I do each day, places I go, things I say, God should rolls His eyes and be completely uninterested in my life. But it’s absolutely the opposite! He is interested in every aspect of my life, no matter how many times I do, say and think the same things. God doesn’t get worn out being attentive to my life.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you do to stay engaged in an activity that doesn’t naturally interest you?  Leave your comment below.

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What To Do When The Unexpected Happens

Since my wife was away on the weekend, it was just my 22 year-old son and me at home. More accurately, it was like I was home on the weekend and Mike dropped in and out from time to time.

He wasn’t home for dinner on Friday night so I just had some leftovers. Lily usually leaves me with a fridge full of leftovers, not so much to help with meal preparation but to keep me from spending money at restaurants when she’s way.

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On Saturday morning, I made my regular breakfast of hot oat bran cereal and some fruit. At noon it was still pretty quiet in Mike’s room, so I just had more leftovers for lunch (that my wife had so nicely packaged in plastic containers for us).

Midway through the afternoon, a scary looking creature emerged from his downstairs bedroom. He had worked until 4 am, so 3 in the afternoon was like a “brand new day” for him (check out my blog, “From Plans to Reality”).

There had been an accumulation of dishes in the sink from the past three meals, so I thought I would just clean them up and start fresh at dinner. Besides, I knew that dinner on Saturday night was going to be take out, so few dishes required.

By now, Lily knows that no matter how many leftover meals she puts in the fridge for me, there is a 100% chance that I will be purchasing at least one meal on a weekend. For Saturday dinner, it was a unanimous decision: hot wings from our favourite chicken wing joint.

Three pounds of chicken wings with Frank’s Red Hot sauce … mmmm, I could eat them several times a week. It’s a good thing I have a wife who exerts a little concern for my health and our budget!

Not many dishes for that meal – just a couple of plates, a couple of glasses and we threw the cardboard container in the garbage . . . I mean, the recycling bin.

By the time Sunday morning rolled around, there weren’t too many dishes in the sink. But still, I thought I would just clean them up before I headed out the door to church. By that point in the weekend Mike had been home for one meal and used only one plate and a glass.

When church was over, I thought if Mike was awake, I’d bring home some food for a late lunch. I texted him, and to my surprise he was up and was heading out the door; he didn’t need lunch. So I just came right home.

And that’s when my perfect weekend exploded! The kitchen was a disaster and the sink was full with a bowl, pot, plate, three spoons, a few glasses, an empty container of yogurt or something, and a blender container and parts.

How do you use three spoons in one meal? I thought I was coming home to a clean kitchen and in one meal, my son blew the place up!  Now I know how my wife feels every week!

Here’s the thing: You can be living a pretty clear life before God, pleasing Him with your words, thoughts and deeds. And then out of nowhere, you sin and it seems like you have blown everything with God. When you find an explosion in the kitchen, you just wash the dishes and carry on. When you sin, you do the same – repent to God and carry on.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What kind of messes get you upset the most? Leave your comment below.

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We Need To Connect

Something has changed in my family that I’m not really excited about. There are a host of changes I have been thrilled about over the years, like being done with diapers, and driving the kids everywhere, whenever. But this new change doesn’t thrill me.

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The other day was my wife’s birthday (not the change I’m referring to) and she received the usual greetings via the telephone from family members who live out of town. If you answer the phone when these calls come in, you know they just want to talk to the birthday girl, so you try to quickly pass the handset off to her.

But when our daughter calls, usually we all get into the conversation a little bit. It’s like we are all together again as a family. There have been some years when our daughter (who has been out west for six years) has video chatted during birthdays: we have set a laptop in her normal place at the table and then met as a family for birthday dinner.

That didn’t happen this year. I didn’t even talk to my daughter on my wife’s birthday.  It was like she wasn’t part of our birthday celebrations; she just had an insider conversation with her mom.

It’s partly my fault. I should have told Karlie what our plans were for the day and then had her join us for part of it. I missed not having another voice to tease my wife. When the three of us gang up on Lily, it’s even better than when just my son and I do it!

Maybe this is just a change that’s inevitable and there is nothing we can do about it. Maybe it happened because my daughter used up her data plan in the first two weeks of the month and is now internetless (new word) until the first week of May.

At any rate, Karlie was missing from the celebration this year … and that’s a change I don’t really like. I’ve noticed that changes in the family just seem to happen. You don’t really anticipate them; they just sort of slide in on you and you deal with them.

… Like when your son decides to move in with some buddies downtown for the summer. You don’t preplan to turn his room into a home gym because he may be back by the fall.  But when the room is empty for a while, the thought crosses your mind for a second … or two.

To be honest, I like change. I’ve enjoyed watching my kids grow up, face new challenges, and transform before my eyes into full fledged adults (mostly). But for some reason, I like my family to remain the same around special occasions.

Maybe that’s weird; maybe that’s trying to hold on to something that keeps the family members from truly becoming their own individuals. But to me, it seems with the technology we have today, if we used it to maintain family gatherings, it could keep the family closer.

Here’s the thing: We are able to travel great distances at a moment’s notice. And that can take us away from the special occasion of meeting with God’s family at church on Sundays. We can even get used to being away from this special occasion on a regular basis. But we miss out on celebrating with the family when we aren’t present. We have technology to keep us connected. We should make sure we do what we can to remain close to our church family.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you remain close to family when you’re not present?  Leave your comment below.

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From Plans To Reality

Some people are big planners; others are not. I don’t happen to be a natural planner. I HAVE to plan and so I do it, but it’s work for me. It takes considerable effort on my part.

In a perfect world, I would wake up every morning and say, “It’s a brand new day!” You have to say it out loud though, and with a Jamaican accent. And one more thing, you really have to roll out the “br” sound. Try it with me: “It’s a brrrrrand new day!” (Don’t forget the Jamaican accent.) … I know you feel better just saying it.

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That’s how I would love to approach each morning: every day a blank page, and me eagerly awaiting what will happen. The only problem with that is I have responsibilities and I have wants and dreams cluttering that wishful blank page.

This morning in my devotions I read Proverbs 16:9 which says, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”

That means all that I’ve done in my life so far is really the Lord’s doing. My plans, my dreams and my wants – all the things I’ve gone after – have only come to be because God established them.

That also means the custom platform shoes and knee-length coat with an 8 inch fur collar I bought in the 70‘s was because God established it for me (maybe not, but I really wish I could find a picture of that get up). It means that my plans and dreams that haven’t materialized or worked out are because God didn’t establish them.

I could be sad or angry that I haven’t gotten all I wanted, hoped or planned for, or I could take comfort that I did get what God wanted, planned and dreamed for me so far.

Going on from here, I could stop planning and dreaming, sit back and start each day with “It’s a brand new day” and see what happens, or I could try to figure out what God has planned for me and follow that.

But how can I know God’s plans in advance? And how detailed are God’s plans? Are His plans as detailed as what I will have for breakfast, or whether I should buy a new Apple product – it doesn’t matter what, anything will do. (I’d sure like Him to establish that plan!)

Maybe we can’t live that way. Instead, we have to keep making plans, keep dreaming and hoping but roll with what actually is established. I wonder if most of our frustration is just being upset that God changed our plans on us.

We would be happier if we were prepared for changes to our plans and pleasantly surprised by what He establishes.

Here’s the thing: To live a content life we need to be happy with what God brings our way. We need to be okay when He changes our plans. But we still need to keep planning, dreaming, hoping and wanting. If we stopped, we would probably be dead.

Thanks, Lord for ordering my steps. It’s just what you wanted, so it’s just what I want too.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How important are the plans you make for yourself?  Leave your comment below.

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Santa Is Dead

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I don’t think Santa is coming back next year.

I am fully aware that it is March and we are far, far from that time of year when the jolly old fella usually shows up. However, I just happened to be driving by a house in a nearby subdivision and there was Santa lying on the ground. Pictures don’t lie … and the spears that have pinned him and his trusty helpers to the ground, don’t bode well for his return next December.

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No, I don’t believe in Santa Claus, but I do believe in keeping your decorations applicable to the season. I understand that some people leave their Christmas lights up all year long, but if you don’t look up too high you don’t even notice them.

Lawn ornaments, though? Come on! How hard is it to pack Santa up and put him a box? He’s already been deflated; there’s no HO, HO, HO left in him. I think the kids on the street would become a little suspect that Santa isn’t real when he is laying dead on your doorstep for three months.

As I have looked around the neighbourhood, I’ve seen lots of Christmas ornaments still on display. There was a plastic snowman on a lawn the other night with a light still shining brightly inside him. This weekend was St. Patrick’s Day – at least put a shamrock or a green scarf around his neck!

I’ll admit I’m not the first guy to take down his lights after Christmas. I usually miss the first warm day and end up taking them down when it’s freezing outside. But I get the job done by the middle of January at the latest!

Last year as I was walking around our neighbourhood, I noticed there were lots of people who still had their Christmas lights up in April and May. By looking at the condition of some of the lights, it was apparent they had been there for several years.

Maybe those people lost their ladder. Maybe their garage is so packed that the ladder is buried in there somewhere. Maybe they figure they don’t have room for lights in the basement or garage so they just leave them up.

I think that if you leave your Christmas decoration up all year you have to use them in some way, like maybe change the lightbulbs to pink and blue and white for Easter. Have your blow up Santa hold a big old Pysanka (Ukrainian Easter egg).

On Canada Day, change your lights to red and white and have your blow up reindeer sport Canadian flag saddles. On Labour Day, place them all working in the garden.

Maybe we should have a law that you get a $25 fine for having Christmas decorations up past February 1st. Here’s an idea: JUST TAKE DOWN YOUR CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS!

Here’s the thing: Sometimes we don’t deal with the sin in our lives right away. It becomes clutter in our relationship with God. We need to pay attention to the clutter or we get used to having it in our lives. The best way to take down the clutter or sin is through regular confession to God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What tends to clutter you home, yard, life? Leave your comment below.

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When The Couch Is Call’n

Sunday afternoons I like to take a nap on the couch. It’s not really that I like to take a nap, rather I NEED to take a nap. There is some kind of power that overtakes me and I can’t do anything about it.

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Last Sunday was a good example. I was up early at 6 am, had a busy morning, preached a sermon, greeted people at the door, and by the time we locked up and headed home from church it was about one in the afternoon.

After lunch I wanted to watch a little golf, but there was a hockey game on first, so I settled in to catch the last period. Lily came down to join me and show me something on Facebook.

I watched it and then, as we talked, I could feel myself slipping away. Lil noticed and started laughing, which stirred me a little. She said she was going to change the channel to something else. I said, “Don’t. I’m watching the game.” She simply grinned and replied, “I’ll wait 30 seconds ‘till you fall asleep.”

In a matter of a minute I could feel myself going. It’s hard to describe the feeling, but everything around me becomes a blur. The noise from the TV is nothing more than static white noise and I can’t make out what anyone is saying.

Somehow, like Sampson, strength leaves my body and my limbs become heavy and useless. There is also a sense like someone has hit the remote switch on my eyelids and they slowly descend over my eyes like having automated blinds on your windows.

Once that happens, I can’t give you any more details. I am gone, gone gone! And Lily freely changes the channel without any opposition from me.

What happened on Sunday was not the first time. This is a regular Sunday afternoon occurrence – one that I’ve practiced for years … too many years to count, in fact. I inherited this trait from my father and grandfather. For many years I watched them go through this same Sunday afternoon process.

Back then I thought it was wasted time, but somehow, somewhere in my 30’s, it showed up in my life. At times I have fought it and kept myself busy during the afternoon, but more and more I am embracing this phenomenon.

It may have something to do with my ability to sleep pretty much anywhere. If I can get horizontal or even semi-horizontal, there is a very good chance I won’t be entering into conversation for very long.

It’s clear that there is probably nothing I can do about the Sunday afternoon nap. It’s now a habit … and you can probably predict what I will be doing next Sunday afternoon!

Here’s the thing: There was a time when it seemed like work to try to fit even 5 minutes in my day to spend with God. But as my relationship with God has grown more and more, it’s almost automatic now for me to get up before anyone else in the house and spend an extended time with Him. So you can probably predict where I’ll be at 6 am most days.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has become automatic regarding your relationship with God? Leave your comment below.

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Stop Staring!

We had dinner the other night in a restaurant that looked like a hunting cabin. I’m not much of a hunter – never been hunting, unless you count picking off barn swallows with a pellet gun when I was about twelve. I’m also not much of a fisherman. I have fished but I found it to be a bit of a snoozer for me.

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I took our kids fishing on vacation a couple of times when they were little. I had to carry their rods, put the worms on their hooks, untangle their lines when they got too close to each other, and take the fish off the hooks (that part didn’t happen much). It didn’t leave me much time to fish, and just about the time I got my line in the water they were ready to call it quits.

… So having dinner in this place didn’t necessarily make me feel like I was in a familiar place.

Don’t get me wrong, it was very comfortable. We sat in high wingback chairs like the kind you would find in someone’s living room. And all around were reminders that humans are at the top of the food chain.

There were stuffed animals everywhere you looked. These were not the fluffy kind you buy your kids at Toys R Us, but rather the dead kind you buy from the taxidermist.

I kind of wondered if you could order a meal by just pointing to an animal on the wall and grunting a bit. But when I looked at the menu, it didn’t offer any otter, but there was one on the wall!

The whole place was kind of rustic. There was a big old fireplace in the middle of the room and the walls looked like the inside of a log cabin which is what the outside of a log cabin looks like too. When we were shown to our table, I found myself sitting directly in front of the fireplace, above which was huge moose … not a whole moose, just a head.

This moose head came out from the wall a long way, and I couldn’t tell if he had a happy look on his face because he was friendly or because we all looked like a late night snack to him. Apparently, mooses (as I like to call them) are vegetarians so I guess he was glad to see us.

But still, it looked like he had an eye on me. Every time I looked up I saw old Bullwinkle gawking at me. I tried to avoid his stare but something about him commanded my attention.

One time, I said something funny to my wife and then looked at the moose to see if he also got it. He was still smiling so maybe he did. By the end of dinner, I was used to him watching me. I felt like we were buddies, even though he never said a word.

Still, I didn’t turn my back towards him till I got out the door. See ya next time, friend.

Here’s the thing: There is nowhere you can go where God is not present. There is nowhere you can be that He doesn’t see you. It should be comforting to know God is always there … unless you are somewhere you shouldn’t be, and then it should be unnerving.

That’s Life!
Paul

Question: How do you feel about knowing God sees you all the time? Leave your comment below.

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He Said It Would Save Me Time

Sometimes a phrase or sentence – even a word – can save you a lot of time. Recently, I spent hours doing a mundane little task because I didn’t first receive some crucial information.

I bought a new program that tracks and keeps all the information about my sermons in one place.  But there’s a learning curve. I’m learning how to build scripts, portals, and containers.

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It might sound fun – like I’m working on a time machine – but it’s just a database. When I’m done it will be slick, but I still have lots to figure out. I worked on it pretty much my entire day off this week, and I’ll need to spend several more off hours to get it working right.

When I’m done, it will be awesome … in a nerdy, database kind of way. From just one screen I will be able to plan, research, grab resources, catalogue … and clean up after breakfast! It’s like sitting down to do your taxes and having all the information you need in front of you … and not having to get up to find some receipt, address or your son’s tuition information.

I enjoy figuring out how to use this program but what I don’t like is doing work to correct the mistakes I’ve made. I have been watching instructional videos of a guy explaining different aspects of the program. I have a new appreciation for people who have to listen to me preach every week.

The difference is people listen to me for a half hour or so, once a week. I’ve been listening to this same whiney-voiced guy for about 10 hours straight! You can imagine how annoyed I am with him right now. And when, about 5 hours in, he said that it is better to set up a numbering system BEFORE you enter your data, my mood turned really ugly towards him.

I have been building my database while I’ve been learning. In the process, I have already imported 980 records! These are records of my messages, titles, themes, and passages, dating back to 1997!

But then my friendly little instructor says I need to give a specific or unique number to each record in my database. And in a casual way he says, “You will save a lot of time if you do this before you import your data.”

I felt like reaching into the computer and grabbing him, not to hurt him, just to shake him a little and scream into his ear, “Why didn’t you say that right at the beginning?!” It was just one sentence. He could have said it in the introduction. It would have saved me hours! I had to manually go back into every record and number them. What a waste of time.

It was a long, boring task, and a few times I lost track of the numbers and had to go back and correct the sequence. But now that it’s done, and I’m further into my learning, I see how essential it was for me to make that little correction.

Here’s the thing: Life is just like that. At the beginning, we don’t know everything we need to live a godly life. We learn as we go and often find that we’ve made some mistakes along the way. The sooner we discover those mistakes, the easier it is to correct them. That’s why it’s good to keep short accounts with God.

That’s life!

Paul

Question: What do you wish you had known ten years ago? Leave your comment below.