relationships

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The Conditions Were Right For A Snowball Fight

When the conditions are right, it’s so natural to revert back to snowball fight mentality.

This winter we’ve seen a lot of snow. At one point I didn’t think the snow would melt until May. But we had a week of warm weather and the white stuff just faded away, helping us forget all the snow that had been dumped on us.

However, not long after the snow was gone we received another gift of white flakes from the sky that covered the ground once again … kind of like a last-ditch attempt to remind us that it is still winter.

The next day I knew that it would not last long. I looked out at my snow-covered driveway and thought, “Is it possible that it will melt today, or will it take more than a day to disappear?”

One thing I knew for sure was that this snow was not going to last long.

Though I was tempted to leave it, I decided to clear off the drive and walkway and let the sun dry it all up. Lily decided to join me. As I started to shovel, I paused and stooped down. The consistency of the snow was perfect – perfect for making snowballs, that is.

I put the shovel down and picked up a handful. As I started to form a snowball with my hands, I looked around for a target to throw it at. And there was only one worthy target … it was even a moving target!

Lily had started shovelling the walk and I hit her square in the back. She swung around and laughed, picked up some snow and threw it at me.

Well, then it was on. I didn’t need any more encouragement than that. I hadn’t been in a good snowball fight since our kids were little. I started pelting her with snowballs. She tried to hide behind a tree, but I still managed to swing around and nail her with a few more.

I wouldn’t say Lily didn’t hit me with any. There were a few times her lobs found a target. But for the most part, I was able to dodge her change-ups and knuckleballs.

Sometimes I just stood still and let the snowball sail by me on the left or the right. It was like they came at me in slow motion. It was fun, but I decided we better stop before I put one off her head or something.

We got back to cleaning off the driveway. I had already used a lot of the snow on it for my ammunition, which made the shovelling a little easier.

When we finished, Lil started on a snowman, so I helped to put the pieces together. By the time we were done, we had one motley, snow-covered front yard with a snowman.

The rest of the day, when I looked out our window, it reminded me of what the front yard used to look like when the kids were living here.

Here’s the thing: It was amazing to me that, even in my 60’s, I can, in a flash, resort back to when I was teen. That is also how quickly we can get swept up in a sin from the past. We connect with it and simply get swept up in it before we know it. When it comes to snowball fights, go for it. But when it comes to sin, stay far from it so you don’t get swept up in it.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you find you easily get caught up in? Leave your comments below.

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I Wish My E-Wallet Was Growing Faster

My e-wallet is starting to get a little thicker, and I’m not concerned about it one bit. In fact, I wish my e-wallet was expanding at a faster pace than it is.

I wouldn’t be able to say the same thing about my physical wallet – that’s a completely different matter.

My physical wallet is at its max; I can’t put anything more in it. I use a hard case for my credit and information cards and it can only hold so much before they are so jammed together that you can’t get any of them out.

Since the time I started carrying a wallet I have tried to keep it as thin as possible. But the older you get, the more cards you have to carry with you.

I remember a time when I carried a billfold with six slots for cards in it. It was pretty thin, but before long I needed to double up the cards, with more than one per slot.

I started feeling my wallet when I sat down. I kind of had to move to sit on one cheek more than the other.

I’ve seen people with wallets that are two or three inches thick, and I wonder how they are able to sit down at all.

In fact, many people pull their wallets out of their pockets when they sit down.

That is not something I would ever do. I would constantly lose my wallet and be replacing it and all the cards inside it on a monthly basis.

For me a wallet has to be thin and be able to stay in my pocket. And that’s what I like about my e-wallet.

I can add cards to it and it never gets any thicker. I just added a card to it the other day.  And when I use it I won’t even have to pull my wallet out of my pocket. I just use my phone or my watch.

E-wallets are the way to go. We should be able to put our health care card and drivers’ license in our e-wallets as well.

I would like it if all I needed to carry with me was a billfold. And even there, I’m using cash a lot less.

There are some stubborn institutions though. I have two credit cards by the same company, from different banks. One bank gives me the e-wallet option while the other one doesn’t.

I’m not sure what their reasoning is other than they don’t want to make life too easy for me. I guess we will always have those who are not going to go with the trend until the trend is a well-worn path used by almost everyone.

All I know is the quicker the wallet in my back pocket shrinks, the more comfortable I’ll be sitting down.

Here’s the thing: Often I will find myself communicating with God in the same familiar ways, praying the same types of prayers, asking for the same types of things. My ways are very accustomed to me. But seeking new ways to speak with God, and to listen to Him communicate back, opens up whole new avenues of relating to God. Always be growing in how you interact with God and you will find God to be more refreshing and easy to access.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What new ways of doing old things do you need to look into? Leave your comments below.

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Not Sure I Can Live Through These Deadlines

Deadlines are part of my world, but there are some deadlines that suck the life out of me more than others.

Most weeks of the year I live with at least one deadline: I have a sermon to prepare for Sunday and it doesn’t matter what has happened during the week, that deadline has to be met.

I might be sick that week, have meetings I’ve been called away to, or have had to conduct a funeral, wedding, etc. No matter what, that deadline of being ready to get into the pulpit on Sunday remains.

I know that deadline, have become accustomed to living with it, and can successfully navigate through my week to deliver on time.

But there are other deadlines that I don’t deal with regularly and they take a heavier toll on my state of mind.

When you compound a deadline with one or two other deadlines, all due around the same time … well, that’s how I’m feeling right now.

Right now the pressure is on. I have only a few days to go before these deadlines stop me in my tracks.

It’s like those auto commercials where they test how a car does in a crash. They stick a crash test dummy in the vehicle and then they remotely drive the car into a wall or a cement barrier of some kind.

It’s fascinating to see what happens when the vehicle stops on impact. The front of the car coils up like an accordion and then the car bounces back a little.

The car is a right-off, but what the company really wants to know is how the dummy will fair inside the automobile when it reaches the deadline.

Based on the dummy’s reactions they can tell how safe they have made the car. But no matter what kind of safety measures they have built into the vehicle, there are two things that happen to the dummy.

First, when the car hits the deadline, the dummy moves forward; the inertia is uncontrollable and the dummy’s body has to move in a forward direction.

But then at the pinnacle of the impact there is a force placed on the dummy that is every bit as uncontrollable, forcing its body to snap back in the opposite direction.

This action causes a whiplash affect on the dummy.

I am that dummy right now, right at the stage of whiplash with these multiple deadlines looming over me.

In a few days it’ll all be over; time will have run out on me. I will be a wreck, emotionally and mentally drained.

So in the short time I have, what do I do? I ask myself the question, “Do I work at one deadline until it is finished and then tackle the next one, or do I begin each one and gradually work towards completely them all at the same time?”

This is where I differ from a crash test dummy. It is just along for the ride, no thought, no input. Me, I have to think through the questions and decide a course of action.

Here’s the thing: We are all coming to a deadline. The problem with our deadline is that most of us don’t know when it will be. But when the deadline hits, that will be the end; we will be stopped in our tracks. To be ready for that deadline, be sure you have become friends with God, through faith in Jesus Christ. There is no better way to prepare for that deadline than to live now by faith in Christ so that you’re ready for that deadline of death.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you handle deadlines: well in advance or right down to the last minute? Leave your comments below.

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Sometimes A Kitchen Can Be A War Zone

I just left the kitchen for a few hours because I’m uncomfortable with the production going on in there.

I’m not one to really hang around the kitchen other than at meal time, but today there is a much bigger reason to stay clear.

There seems to be two chiefs in the room at the same time.

Our son is home for a day or two – a quick little stay over to hang with his Kingston buds and take in an event. He also thought this would be a great opportunity to cook up a whole lot of food with his mother.

The idea is to end up with weeks of meals that he can freeze and then reheat without a lot of preparation.

The idea is a great one; it makes good sense … but it’s all happening in our kitchen and not his.

Why I’m staying clear is that we have two chefs who are claiming to be in charge of this process and no one is giving an inch.

Mike has a plan for cooking his chicken thighs: breaded and sitting in an inch of oil, frying away in the oven.

These things can’t be healthy, but apparently they taste great with all that grease. … I’m imagining the same kind of greasy results you get when you eat chicken from KFC.

This is not the way Lily would cook the chicken, and there have already been some attempts on her part to change the process.

But Mike is having nothing of it. It’s his way all the way. He wants the grease to coat his stomach when he eats this stuff.

Lily, on the other hand, is concerned that the grease will coat the inside of her oven which, I might add, is under six months old and is viewed much like Gollum’s precious.

Lil was hovering a little too close for a while, mere inches from the young chef. I was able to get her attention and she moved back to a couple of feet away.

I knew at that point that being in the kitchen for any length of time was not something that was healthy for me … I’m not talking about the grease in my arteries from eating his chicken, I’m talking about being in the direct line of fire in a battle zone.

The tension is real. Lil is trying to edge her way into the process. Mike is acting like he has been doing these things for ten years and he has a few things to teach his mother.

You can see the bite marks on her lips as she holds her tongue from engaging full throttle.

They are both trying to find their way, and some common ground where they can be in the kitchen cooking together, with no fear of a food fight.

Now that I’ve retreated away from the heat of the kitchen, it seems that the young chef has actually taken a few tips from the pro with appreciation.

I think it will be safe to go back in there some time soon.

Here’s the thing: Control is something we all want. We like to control our environment, our decisions, and actions. But as much as you think you are the best judge of yourself, there is one who is better. God knows you more than you know yourself, and although giving up control to Him is hard, it is so much more beneficial to you.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What’s your control issue? Leave your comments below.

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It Was Beauty And Treachery All At The Same Time

There are certain times and situations where you find beauty alongside treachery, and this weekend I found it.

I, along with my whole family, were away with my wife Lily’s whole family, celebrating the matriarch’s (my mother in-law’s) 80th birthday.

The place where we stayed was pretty amazing (you can read about it here).

The setting was stunning; the view from the deck was straight off a post card or, in more current terms, an online photo site.

It was perfect; the snow was lightly falling and the trees all had that white frosting look to them. Everything looked fresh, white and pure. It was the kind of snow that invited you to step in it and be the first to make your mark.

But with that thought also came the hesitation, “Do I want to ruin this perfectly smooth, white blanket that is covering everything?”

The last full day we spent there, most of us went down to the lake and cleared the snow off a patch of ice so we could skate.It was a gruelling affair; the snow was so deep. I now know how they came up with the size of a hockey rink though.

We shovelled out the perimeter of the surface so we knew what size our rink was going to be, and then started clearing the inside. When we started, I thought the rink was going to be large. But after we finished, it wasn’t that big at all.

When they first made hockey rinks on ice, I bet they did the same thing. Looking back, they might have wished they made them a little bigger like they do in Europe.

Our rinks are smaller here in North America … possibly it was because we had more snow to remove.

When we were skating around, you couldn’t help but think that we were in the middle of a winter commercial that they would show during the Olympics or hockey games. There were about ten people skating on a lake, with a sea of white around them, and snow dusted trees in the background.

It was a scene of true beauty to stand there and let our eyes drink it all in.It doesn’t get much better than that. It doesn’t get much more Canadian than that.

But there was treachery that went along with it.

That light snow that I mentioned? Well, it didn’t stop for two days. And so what if it was light? After more than 24 hours of it, we had a significant pile of snow …that covered everything included cars and the road.

When our son was leaving, he got stuck on the narrow, up and down, twisty-turny cottage road.

He got stuck several times and, in the process of helping him get out, we got another two vehicles stuck as well.It took several attempts, a reboot in the morning, a snow plow and a long walk for some of us to the main road, but we got him out.

… And it was a beautiful walk back to the cottage through the woods, with all that stunningly white, treacherous snow.

Here’s the thing: This is how sin works – it ropes you in with its pleasure; it tempts you to be like everyone else. It looks like fun, and why shouldn’t you get to enjoy it? But there is treachery in all that eye-catching desire. It will suck you in and cause you harm. Be wise, and don’t take that step. That’s when you will fall.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What sin tends to suck you in by its seemingly good looks? Leave your comments below.

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By The First Appearance I Was Disappointed

Appearances can be deceiving – we’ve all heard this before.

But don’t you find it just as surprising every time you come across it? … like when you’re in a dark room and you see a shadow of something. You can’t quite make it out for sure, but you start to convince yourself of what it might be.

But when you turn on the lights, you discover, for instance, that what you thought was a large, ceramic frog, was really just a small, crumpled up Kleenex.

There are times – this was especially true in the late sixties and seventies – we are deceived by long, flowing hair, finding that what we thought was a woman was really a man.

A major news item this week surrounded a serial killer that was arrested in Toronto. Interviews with neighbours revealed that they had no idea that he would do such things.

Appearances can be deceiving.

This weekend my extended family on Lily’s side rented a cottage for the 16 of us. We needed more than your average cottage for a group our size, but we found one.

Now, when I say “cottage” you might be thinking of a rustic cabin in the woods, somewhere in the middle of nowhere.

Well, the middle of nowhere is a correct picture of where we were, but not the rustic cabin part.

This place was fully equipped to keep us all warm in the middle of winter, with its below freezing temperatures and added wind chill factors.

… You know it’s cold when the weather man brings up the wind chill … and they are always so pleasant in presenting it too.

They give you the good news first: “The high today will be minus 9 degrees celsius.”

But then they hit you hard with the bad news: “But with the wind chill it will feel like it’s minus 27.”

And then they add something like, “Good luck staying warm.”

All that to say, this place we rented was climate-controlled throughout the place.

But the deceiving part – right, that’s what I’m writing about – was the cottage at first sight.

When we drove up to the place, all I could see was a two car garage that didn’t look all that special.

In fact, I think my two car garage at home looked a little bigger than this one.

But then again, it was a cottage.

We got out and walked around the side of the garage and down some steps to find the main entrance at the side.

When we stepped into the cottage my jaw dropped. There was a long foyer which opened up into a massive great room.

The ceiling was 20 feet high; there were rooms off of rooms. The kitchen had an island so long you had to yell to the person at the other end.

The place had beds for 14, and so much room my mother-in-law kept asking where everyone was.

Okay, so the reason for the deception? The cottage was build on the side of a hill. You could only see the garage from the driveway because the rest of the cottage/mansion extended down the hill.

Here’s the thing: We can maintain an appearance for others to see that will give the impression that we are godly. But God is not fooled by appearances; He knows exactly the state of relationship you have with Him. Be sure what you are giving God is not just an impression, and that you are beyond making a good appearance.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: When have you made an appearance that was deceiving? Leave your comments below.

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This Was A New First For My Family

I just experienced a family first this past weekend, the first time my family has done this particular thing.

When a family is young, there are a lot of firsts that happen … and they happen all the time. Everything is like a first time.

I remember the first time we went to the store as a family.

… About a week earlier, Lily and I had decided to go shopping. It was May, so I grabbed the keys, we hopped in the car and, in no time, were walking around West Edmonton Mall.

Well, to be fair, I walked and Lily waddled.

A week later, with our first-born Karlie with us, our quick decision to go shopping was not so quick.

I was ready to grab the keys and go, but Karlie needed to be fed. That took a little time.

Then she needed to be changed … and then she really needed a nap.

By the time we were ready to go shopping, I didn’t want to go any more. I was tired and needed a nap, and all I did was watch all this happen around me!

It seems like first times are a regular occurrence when you are starting out.

But when you’ve been married 32 years, your kids are in their mid to late 20’s, there’s not many firsts to experience any more.

We’ve done them all.

But every once in a while something new happens – like this past weekend.

Mike had won two tickets to a Toronto Raptors’ game (you can read about that here), and was taking me to the game.

Lily got the idea that she would come to Toronto with me so she could meet up with our daughter, Karlie, for some dinner and shopping downtown.

It was a great plan, but then it got even better. Mike suggested that Lily and I stay overnight at his apartment in Burlington.

But with the four of us together in the general vicinity, it seemed like a great plan for all of us to spend the night at Mike’s.

So that’s what we did.

Lily and I picked up Karlie on our way downtown, and then Lily and Karlie dropped me off to meet Mike.

After the game we all met up and drove out to Burlington. And for the first time ever we stayed as a family at one of the kids’ homes.

Now though this was a first, I’m not calling it an official first for one major reason: the youngest got to sleep in his bedroom on his bed, but the rest of us had to rough it in the living room. Lily and I were on a blow-up mattress, and Karlie got the couch.

I’m reserving the official first time we all sleep at one of the kids’ homes for when we all get beds and a bedroom!

But this was a very good warm-up to that.

We had a great time doing breakfast together the next morning and hanging out. The only downside: someone has to figure out how to get warm air into the blow-up mattress.

… The mattress experience left Lily and I a little chilled.

Here’s the thing: If you ever get to the place where your relationship with God seems like it’s in a rut, like there is nothing new, like it’s the same old routine, same old prayers, then go for a first. Change things up in the way you meet with Him, or where, or how. Change how you converse with Him; add something new to your relationship. You may just need another first.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What is a new first you could explore? Leave your comments below.

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I Went To A Show – I Mean A Basketball Game

Sometimes the show is as big or bigger than the event. That sounds a little cryptic, I know, but let me tell you about my experience the other night.

My son won tickets to a Toronto Raptors game and I was the lucky recipient of one of those tickets. The tickets weren’t just any tickets in the stands; they were one step up from the court.

You get to see a different game down there. It is the closest to the action that I have ever been at a basketball game … and probably ever will be.

To purchase the tickets would have cost about $300 each, and for that price you should catch a little sweat from the players.

We were behind the basket and for part of the game I was trying out the slo-mo feature on my iPhone. I really wanted to capture a dunk in slow motion or even a three pointer going in.

None of my attempts were spectacular but I got a couple of nice slow motion attacks to the basket.

But there was something different about being down low in the arena.

At other sporting events I’ve been to, people are there to watch the game. They come to see their team win.

But at a basketball game – well, at least for the people sitting down near the court – there is a little different focus.

It’s as much about the show as it is about the game. There is action going on everywhere, not just on the court …

… from the cheerleaders to the guys shooting t-shirts into the stands, to the super fan strutting his stuff on the sidelines.

… to the important people making appearances and getting the attention of the fans.

You could tell those who were important – or thought they were important – by the way they carried themselves and made themselves noticeable to others. They would stop and whisper something to the person they were with and look up into the crowd before they would move on to their seats.

There were also the four boys in front of us who seemed to be talking about something other than basketball for most of the game.

Then at half-time they left their seats. I didn’t even mind that they were not back in their seats for the start of the third quarter because the guy sitting directly in front of me had a pretty big head … with that removed, my sight lines greatly improved.

Just to prove that the show is as big a deal as the game, the four boys didn’t return to their seats until the 4th quarter.

I’m not sure what they were doing (though I have an idea), but one thing’s for sure, they weren’t watching the game in the stands.

Even when there was a time out – and in basketball there are plenty of time outs – the players don’t huddle together by the bench like in hockey.

No, the coach makes a big gesture of walking into the middle of the court and the players and entourage circle around him.

It’s quite a show.

Here’s the thing: When you attend church or a small group or even meet with God privately, it’s easy to be more focused on the show than the content. But it should be all about what God wants to deliver to you and about you responding back … then you’re in the game.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you stay focussed on the game and not the show? Leave your comments below.

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How to Win An Argument With Yourself

If you’ve ever tried to win an argument, you know how hard it is to change your mind.

In my last post (read here) I wrote how real change only comes when you change your mind, and not when you just do something different.

Doing something different can bring temporary change, but not long-lasting change. For the long haul you need to change your mind.

I remember I once changed a teacher’s mind. In my high school geography class we were studying Israel and who had a right to the land – the Jews or the Arabs. It was a hot issue because, at the time, it looked like Egypt and Israel would go to war.

Our teacher set up a debate for our class to decide who had the rights to the land, with one side defending the Jews and the other the Arabs.

I got thrown on Israel’s side and, since I was probably the only kid who went to church, I had some background to Jewish history.

By the end, my side had won and my teacher was really impressed that we had changed her mind with our arguments.

Changing your mind takes work; it doesn’t come easy.

If changing our minds was easy, we wouldn’t do the same things over and over again, expecting a different result.

Changing your mind is like a skill, and to develop any skill you need to work at it; you need to practice.

Years ago I learned the skill of playing the guitar. The only problem was I didn’t practice it enough. Though I play the guitar, I don’t play it very well – that would require me to practice way more than I do and, over the years, I’ve proved that I don’t have the desire to practice enough to become good at it.

Changing your mind requires that you put new or different information in your head, and then use it or practice it over and over.

It’s similar to having a favourite picture frame filled with an ugly picture. You won’t be happy with the frame until you change the picture in it.

In my office I have a picture I had taken of me with a famous hockey player. I also got his autograph to “Pastor Paul” on a separate card.

They sat on my desk for a while before I did anything with them. They were of no benefit to me until I got a nice picture frame, removed the sample picture that came with it, and replaced it with the picture of Darrell Sittler and his autograph.

It looked great; it was just what I wanted. But it took another week until Lily found the right place to hang it on my office wall so I could enjoy it.

To change your mind, you have to want to change, and then you need to put new information in your mind and use it.

Here’s the thing: If you are struggling with a sin, a habit, or a character issue and you want to overcome it, change it. Then find a verse that speaks to that issue and memorize it. Work that verse into your mind by saying it every day, and every time you fail at the change you want to make. Over time you will change your mind with that verse. It will help you to change your character so that you will not be plagued by that sin, habit or issue any more.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: When you think of something you would like changed, what verse comes to mind?  Leave your comments below.

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I Just Had A Date With Frustration

I’m a little frustrated right now – actually, I’ve been frustrated most of the day.

In the morning I was cutting it fine getting to work for an early meeting, only to find myself driving behind the slow guy who drove just fast enough to keep me from getting around him.

At noon I had a short turn-around to get my lunch and rush back to work for another meeting. I got stuck behind the lady who didn’t like moving into the intersection for a left-hand turn until there were no cars in sight.

We had to wait for a whole new light cycle until we got an advance green light. Only then did she finally feel she could get through the intersection, allowing me to go through as well.

Later in the afternoon I had a couple of drop-ins at the office that put me behind in a project I was working on.

… I was beginning to feel like I had a companion with me and its name was frustration.

On the way home from work, traffic was heavy and every time I changed lanes to get into the lane that was moving faster, it became the slow lane almost immediately.

More frustration.

It was almost like frustration was following me around, and sitting next to me with everything I did.

After I got home from an evening meeting, I watched the third period of the Leafs’ hockey game on TV.

It was the one part of the day where I felt that frustration had left my side; it had gone to interfere with someone else’s life – the Leafs were up 2-0.

However, shortly after the third period got underway, the Flyers scored. I quickly realized that, at best, frustration had only momentarily left me … like it went out to the kitchen to get a drink or snack of some kind.

I could feel my frustration build with each play or broken play the Leafs left on the ice.

Frustration – my new found best friend – was sitting so close I could feel it on my neck.  There was a cloud over us and, if it could have rained in the room, it would have.

I’m not sure if I was talking to frustration or to the TV, but I was getting more and more vocal about how my team was playing as the game progressed.

When Philly tied the game up, I kind of noticed a smile on frustration’s face and I didn’t like it very much.

I didn’t have a good feeling about the end of the game.

The game went into overtime, but not much – just 18 seconds in, the Philadelphia Flyers scored the winning goal.

I didn’t like frustration at that point, but it just wouldn’t leave me alone. I even found it putting words in my wife’s mouth, causing me to react negatively to her.

I saw it standing just over her shoulder with a big grin on its face. This was no friend; how could I let it hang around me all day?

I went to bed and hoped I wouldn’t see it in the morning.

Here’s the thing: Frustration can attach itself to us through the simplest, unsuspecting things. And it can stay with us and interrupt our day. That’s when you need to stop, take a breath, and focus on Jesus, being thankful for Him and what He’s provided for you. You will get a new perspective … and you won’t have to entertain an unwanted friend like frustration.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: During what recent frustration should you have stopped, breathed and refocused on Jesus? Leave your comments below.