thoughts

by

It’s My Bread And Butter

This week I attended a lunch at our church for our Evergreen group – it’s a monthly meeting for those 55+. Centring a meeting around food is always a good idea … we all have to eat, so why not do it together?

96778977

This week we had soup and bread. Now the soups were homemade and very good. I only had the one because the other was a butternut squash soup, and the problem with that was the word “squash”.

I don’t eat squash, and it doesn’t matter how you serve it, I’m not going to eat something that has squash in the name … except squash pie, but that’s only because my grandmother tricked me once and fed it to us as pumpkin pie. Only after we had eaten it did she tell us what she made it with.

I did smell the butternut squash soup and it actually, surprisingly smelt very good … but I still wasn’t about to let it touch my lips.

The soups were good and healthy, but the other part of the meal was bread.

I know the maker of the bread, and I’ve tasted his bread before and it tastes great. He makes a fine bread, and it’s a healthy bread, but you can’t eat bread without butter and that’s what was causing me the anxiety.

If I’m going to eat bread I have to put butter on it. Bread doesn’t taste the same without butter.  And don’t get me started on margarine! I don’t care what they call it. They can call it “I can’t believe it’s not butter”, but I believe it – margarine doesn’t taste like butter.

My mother spent years trying to fool me with different kinds of margarine in my sandwiches and she finally gave up. I don’t eat something that has squash in the name and I won’t eat margarine either.

So I had my bread at the Evergreen lunch and there were several different kinds so I had to try them all. Some of them I liked more than others so I had to try them a few more times.

And each time I tried a piece, I also laid down a layer of butter over the surface.

Even though the bread was healthy, the butter wasn’t. It contains saturated fats and salt … I could feel it going straight into my bloodstream and narrowing my arteries.

Yes, I know you can buy un-salted butter, but you might as well eat the bread dry. Why waste your time spreading something on it that doesn’t add to the flavour?

It was a bad combo: lots of bread (though healthy, it sure wasn’t in the quantities I was eating) and  butter … I’m sure I maxed out on my salt content and saturated fats for the next three days, or weeks!

This was a seniors’ lunch. I almost thought there was a devious plan behind it all.

Here’s the thing: There are things about spending time with God that we enjoy more than others. Maybe it’s the prayer, or Bible reading. It could be the devotional guide. All these are good and are part of a good balanced time with God. But too much spend time in one area breaks the balance. For many people prayer is what gets short-changed. We bulk up on the devotional reading and it leaves us full and out of time for much prayer. Keep prayer a main staple, you might have to cut back on something else that you like a little too much.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What gets in the way of you praying more? Leave your comment below.

by

Our Expressions Don’t Lie

Our expressions reveal our emotions and, without a mirror in front of us to monitor our expressions, sometimes our emotions leak out for others to see.

Richard Sherman expressions.001Mind you, some people are better at keeping their expressions in check that others. We call those people “tough to read”; it’s difficult to know what they are feeling or thinking.

I’m not that particularly difficult to read apparently, at least according to my wife. I can sit down with a plate of food in front of me and within a millisecond she knows what I think of dinner.

I don’t have to poke the meat with my finger or even pick up a fork – the look on my face tells her everything (eww, it’s stew).

I would probably make a pretty lousy poker player; everyone would know if my hand was good or bad.

I’ve even seen professional poker players on TV hide their expressions with sunglasses or hats shielding their faces.

The other day watching the Super Bowl, there were some pretty good emotions. Camera men are particularly good at zeroing in on faces when something in the game goes bad or good.

Early into the second half, after Seattle had scored to take the lead for the first time in the game, the look on the Seahawks’ coach’s face was, “I think we have this game”. He looked pretty confident.

His face didn’t show the same easy smile later in the game, however, when in the last 3 minutes the momentum of the game was moving up and down like a roller coaster at Canada’s Wonderland.

When New England scored and there was still three minutes left in the game, the Patriots’ quarterback sat on the bench and couldn’t look up. There was too much on the line.

Seattle started moving the ball. Then a long pass, that at first looked incomplete, turned out to be a reception as the receiver bobbled the ball a few times and grabbed it while falling on his back on the 5 yard line.

Wow, the looks on both benches was telling. Only a minute to go in the game, Tom Brady (New England’s QB) had a look of, “No way! You’ve got to be joking!”

… One play later, the ball is on the one yard line. It is a guaranteed touchdown for Seattle. The game is over; there is no hope for New England. But Seattle decides to pass the ball and throws an interception.

The emotions go wild again. Brady is now jumping up and down on the sideline with his hands raised. The coach raises his arm in the air signalling victory.

Over on the Seattle sideline the emotions are prolific. One player will have his mug in the news for days as his facial expressions went from joy to sheer horror in a matter of seconds.

… The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.

Here’s the thing: As poor a job as we do hiding our emotions for others to see, it is impossible to hide our emotions from God. He sees everything; He knows our emotionally-charged roller coaster life. So instead of dropping the visor of your hat to cover your expressions when you pray, simply tell Him what you are feeling and thinking. He wants to hear, and He can help.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: When do you have a hard time keeping your expressions in check? Leave your comment blow.

by

Distracting Conversations

One of my weekly events this year is to take in a Kingston Frontenacs’ home game. I usually go on Friday nights; it’s mostly been a date night with my wife.

Kingston Fronts action

It’s been a pretty cheap date too … I get comp tickets because I’m the team chaplain and Lily doesn’t usually want many snacks. We park far enough away so I get a few steps in and there’s no cost for parking.

Man, I’m cheap! Most nights it doesn’t cost me a thing … I hope Lily likes the hockey and me pointing out the guys on the team who come out to chapel.

However, last night I couldn’t get complimentary tickets – the game was sold out. But I was able to pull some strings and pay for a couple of tickets they made available at the last minute.

And since our daughter, Karlie, was in town on a day off, I took her.

There was lots of hype for the game. The number one draft pick in this spring’s NHL draft was going to be on the ice. I guess this 18 year old is filling up rinks in every city he plays in.

The night before, his team, the Erie Otters, were in Peterborough and they had their biggest attendance all year.

It was going to be a good game; I was really looking forward to it. Our seats were at the top of the arena and there was standing room directly behind us.

During the first period there were two women and a man talking rather loudly, not about hockey, but about their work. Personnel issues seemed to be on the highlight reel of their conversation.

I didn’t look behind me but I sensed by the way they were talking, they weren’t even looking at the game. At one point I overheard the following:

“Who are you cheering for?”

“Who’s playing?”

“Kingston and some other team.”

“I guess I’ll cheer for the other team.”

Give me a break! They were standing so close to me and talking so loudly that I could keep up with their play-by-play better that the play that was on the ice.

Fortunately, after the first period the corporate firm moved somewhere else and we didn’t have to suffer through a second period of listening to their possible sales forecast for the next six months.

I’m not sure how they got tickets or why they were even at the game, but since tickets were so scarce, I know there were more deserving souls who would have appreciated what was happening on the ice.

At least for me, it was a good time with my daughter, and you have to take advantage of those times when you can.

In contrast to the first period business commentary, we got to chat between periods with an NHL scout, who kept the conversation about hockey.

Here’s the thing: Spending time with God is so important and we may, with good intentions, want to add to that time to make it even richer. However, we need to be careful that we don’t add things that will complicate or distract from our time with God. For the most part, we need a Bible and a journal to record what God tells us. Reading devotionals and other things, though they can help, can also distract us by getting us focussed on their commentary instead of God’s Word.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What commonly distracts you when you’re spending time with God? Leave your comment below.

by

Staring At A Blank Page

This doesn’t happen often but this morning I spent quite a long time staring at a blank computer screen. No, my Mac didn’t freeze.

Paul Silcock white album.001

It was more that my mind was blank and so I had a nice white page on my screen that didn’t have any words written on it.

If white’s your colour, it was a beautiful sight!

The Beatles have a white album titled, “The BEATLES”, recorded in 1968. And yes, it was completely white with the title embossed on the cover. That album has been dubbed “The White Album” ever since.

But despite all the “white” there was music on the vinyl inside, and that vinyl was all black.

All white isn’t that great when you’re trying to write something like a sermon or a blog.  They call an all-white page “writer’s block”, when you just don’t have anything to put down on the page.

But it’s not that I didn’t have any thoughts at all. While my page was white this morning, I had lots of ideas come to mind; just none of the thoughts I had were worth recording, or I didn’t feel like recording them.

My mind jumped from one topic to another. I would think of something to write about, but then,  for one reason or another, the idea would die in seconds.

I decided to change my scenery and do something else to maybe knock the “block” out of my system – you know, do something radical, like hold your breath when you have the hiccups, or sip a drink of water upside down.

The idea is to reboot your system back to normal.

So I left my white page, and went upstairs to have breakfast. I thought that filling my mouth with food and having a conversation with my wife would somehow spark words in my head that I could then type out onto the white page on my computer.

Sometimes that helps. … The other day I was having trouble with one of the apps on my phone. For some reason it was staying on and burning up my battery at a crazy rate. I powered down my phone, and when I turned it back on, whatever had been stuck on, got unstuck and my phone was working fine again.

Unfortunately, that didn’t help much with my white page. I came back to it and, not only was the page still white, but I still hadn’t come up with anything worthy of adding some black marks to it.

It sure is frustrating when that happens.

I had other things that I wanted to get to, other things I needed to be doing.

I almost left that white page white. And then I thought maybe I should write about having a difficult time putting black characters on a white page.

It didn’t take long until the black marks started to create an amazing contrast on the white page. My white page became a mere backdrop to highlight all the black letters that are now prominent, front and centre.

Here’s the thing: Sometimes you read the Bible and nothing seems to hit home. You feel like giving up on reading it. I believe Henry Blackaby once wrote that when he spends time with God he keeps reading the Bible until God brings something to his attention. Don’t stop reading God’s word because, if you persevere, God will cause those little black characters to stand out and apply to you, right then and there.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you do when you are blocked in some way? Leave your comment below.

by

If It Gets In My Head, I Can’t Let It Go

Have you ever got something in your head and couldn’t let it go? Songs can get in your head and it’s near impossible to erase them from that ram chip in your skull.

kingston-memory-upgrade

And it doesn’t take much to get it in there. You hear a song on the radio and it sticks with you all day long.

You might not even like the song, but there you are in a meeting with your superiors and, just as you boss asks you an important question, you have “All About That Bass” by Meghan Trainor taking up valuable real-estate upstairs.

While you’re trying to think, you’re tapping your pen on the table and under your breath you’re humming “da da da da da”.

You just can’t shake that thought in your head. You’d like to record over it with something useful but it seems that for an undetermined amount of time that thought, that song is going to stick around.

I felt that way this week as I was writing my sermon. I got to near the end and I was in need of a closing illustration.

I thought of a story to use, but the story has been told many times. As I researched it, I discovered that the story has a couple of variations and it’s not even true!

It’s too bad, because it’s a great story of a boy at a concert who slips on stage when no one is watching and starts playing chopsticks on the piano. The audience starts grumbling, but the maestro hears the boy and comes out. He tells the boy to keep playing while he plays around him making beautiful music.

Yes, I know, you’ve heard that story. And yes, I know, you didn’t know it wasn’t true.

The problem was I couldn’t get that story out of my head! It seemed like the right illustration for me. I didn’t want to use it; I didn’t feel I could use it, but I couldn’t get it off my mind.

Every time I tried to think of something else, that story kept replaying for me like it was on a loop track just behind my eye sockets.

I scanned the internet for stories like it and found none. I looked in books where I’ve found some good stories in the past – again nothing. Just that one story.

It was perfect, but I couldn’t use it.

I got sidetracked but the story came back. Time was ticking by. It was evening; my eyes got heavy. I think I dreamed about that story and I was the boy.

And then I came to, and a memory awakened in me.

It was a real-life instance, a modern day parallel to that story. I had seen it on TV about thirteen years ago and somehow my brain found and loaded that story into my jukebox mind for me to play. Press E-10.

Here’s the thing: What we put in our mind stays there, and it will be recalled as needed at random times in the future. So we need to be sure we are storing God’s truth in those minds of ours. For just when we need a verse to encourage or help us, it can drop right into the forefront of our thinking. God’s truth might un-expectantly pop into our minds, and stay with us for the day … and that’s so much better than, “You know I’m all about that bass, no treble.”

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has gotten into your mind lately that you can’t kick out? Leave your comments below.

by

A Winter Vacation Would Be Nice

It’s just past the middle of January and you know what that means, don’t you? It’s time to take that vacation to some place warm, with water and beachfront right out your window.

winter vacation

No, that’s only for the few and fortunate! For the rest of us, mid January signals time for the winter blahs.

The best some of us can do, in the words of the song by Smash Mouth, is take a “Holiday in my Head”. We can only dream of taking off, leaving work and responsibilities behind, for some carefree recreation and rest.

Many of us get out of bed in the mornings in the middle of January and have an overwhelming sense of overload … and dread.

You’ve got too much work to do, and dread that your goals and plans for the year are not going to be reached. You even feel like throwing in the towel and giving up, like there’s a looming catastrophe just around the corner.

Is that how you feel right now? You didn’t get in this place all of a sudden, even though it seems like one day you just woke up and, BAM!, all life is crashing around you.

No, it happens slowly and over time. You miss a deadline; you schedule it but don’t get it done. So you push that work off to the next day or the next, and soon it becomes critical.

That same sequence of events happens over and over with other things in your life, your goals your plans, your commitments, demands and requests from others.

And every day the build-up goes unnoticed until one day you wake up and it all seems like it’s crashing down on you, like a waterfall cascading over the rocks, thundering to the pool of water below.

You’re standing in that pool of water with that waterfall beating down on you. It seems hopeless to get out of it and it’s pounding you down.

It’s only mid January! You have the whole year still ahead of you, but all you can think about is that the whole year is a bust. You’ve blown it, or circumstances have made it impossible for you to have a profitable year.

What do you do when you are in that place? How do you get out from under such an intense feeling of utter defeat?

Well, there are a couple of things you can do when you feel that way. First, you can just forget about some of those things; they may not be as important as you made them out to be.

Second, write everything down, so you can see them all together. When your work and demands are just swirling around in your head, it seems like more than it really is. Seeing all your tasks before you gives you perspective.

Then focus on one thing at a time. Complete it and move on to the next, not thinking of all you have to do, but just the one thing that’s next.

Here’s the thing: To even get to the place where you are able to write everything down and then work on one thing, first turn to God and ask Him for help. Seek His guidance and wisdom to get out from under the downpour. Request His protection to stand over you so that the water beats on Him and you just experience the spray. Then you will find the calm, the presence of mind to do what you have to do.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has got you overwhelmed at this time?  Leave your comment below.

by

A Week Of Eating Out

I don’t know how single guys do it – I’d be broke and weigh about 500 pounds if I wasn’t married.  I’d never think about it though, if it wasn’t for a week like this past one.

health-110612-002-617x416

Reality set in Friday night. I don’t go away all that often, and Lily goes away on her own even less, but this past week we were both away … separately.

I had some meetings in the Toronto area Tuesday and Wednesday, and Lily had work meetings in Montreal Wednesday to Friday.

The hard part was figuring out our vehicle situation because number one son also needed a car for parts of the week. But once that was settled, we were all good.

… Except for the food thing.

While I was away, I was eating meals brought into our meetings and going out to restaurants. When I got home, Lily was gone so it was just eating out at restaurants for me.

Lil said something to Mike our son about checking in with Dad around dinner time and his comment was, “Ya, I guess he won’t be cooking”.

He had that right. I make a mean hot oat bran cereal in the morning, but past that my skills and desire fall pretty flat.

So over the week I had pizza twice, subs once, fajitas once, hamburgers twice, a hotdog, and of course, I had hot wings.

I almost fasted over lunch one day. I had played hockey at noon and missed lunch. I almost thought I didn’t need anything, but when I was nearing Harvey’s, I got a hankering for a hotdog.

So the craziest thing happened – the car just automatically turned into the parking lot and parked itself. It was just like one of those Ford car commercials where they let go of the steering wheel and the car takes over and parks.

I just had to go in then!

You can see that if this was a regular pattern of eating for me, my weight would skyrocket and I would be burning the strip right off my debit card.

Though I might not get that far, according to my doctor my cholesterol would soar, and my arteries would clog up like putting a drain stopper in a sink.

I have to be careful, and I’m glad that Lil’s now home and I’m getting good healthy meals … well except for tonight – it’s Saturday night and there’s a hockey game on.

You know what that means: it’s hot wings and a Dr. Pepper . . . mmm  . . .  I can feel by blood pressure on the rise just thinking about it.

I know what you’re thinking: Paul needs an intervention. But listen, it’s only one week, and I’ll be back to eating carrots, broccoli and almonds for lunches before you even get to read this.

That’s right, I’ll be back saving money and getting slim. I just have to finish off that darn candy sitting around the house from Christmas.

Here’s the thing: There are all kinds of interruptions that come into our day, our week, our life. They get us off track from taking time with God. Don’t let them permanently derail you. Don’t get down because you missed a few days. Just start today and get yourself back into the groove of taking that regular time with God. He’s waiting for you, and He’s not going to beat you up about missing some days. He’s happy to have you back spending time with Him.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What patterns do you fall into when you fall out of routine? Leave your comment below.

by

I’m Not A Games Person

We have a cupboard in our family room that’s brimming with games, but my family is not a games family. We’ve tried to be a games family over the years …

family-board-game

When our kids were little we played games. Everyone was happy when playing … except one family member if he wasn’t winning.

It never went well when that scenario was in play.

Every family has one person who has a tough time losing, or, in this day and age, we should probably say “underwhelming in his game potential”.

Well, we might not say that, but we have to use some term to avoid, not point out, or shed any light on the fact that someone lost. We wouldn’t want anyone to think that they didn’t win.

We’re not a games family because we only have one games person in the family and it’s Lily.

Lily is up for any kind of game: board games, tile games, activity games, even puzzles. Puzzles are her favourite. And puzzles are probably the least loved activity by the rest of the family.

She builds them alone.

So when we have company over, Lily usually suggests we play a game. Often I can talk her out of it. But the last time we had guests over she really pressed for us to play a game and, going against my better judgement, I conceded to her wishes.

It was like I lost the game of trying to get out of playing a game. So I knew that things would not go well.

We had several guests so we played an activity game – a game where you act out words for you team, and they have to guess what you are acting out. The game is called “Guesstures”.

Somehow the non-gamer got to bring the game out and set it up. At that point, I think Lil was just rubbing it in that she won and I … well, I don’t even want to say the word but I’ll tell you I sensed I had a large “L” on my forehead.

So we played, and it was the girls against the guys, which in my thinking sets up the girls to win in this kind of game. Women are more expressive and freer in their body movement than most men which gives them a decided advantage.

We are just not that flexible or demonstrative.

So we played the game and to my great surprise the guys were holding their own through the first three rounds. Then it was my turn.

With all the pressure on me, and feelings just below the surface of “I really don’t like playing these games”, I played to my underwhelmed potential. I got one point out of a possible 12.

Oh ya, that game isn’t coming out again for a long time!

The next few rounds went not too badly for the guys. They had to dig us out of the hole I got us into. In the end we pulled it off and beat the girls.

That’s right, we won. You can say you won, you just can’t say they lost. Oh, I guess I said that too. The girls lost.

Here’s the thing: When it comes to developing a relationship with God, if that’s not something you are good at, or have a hard time staying committed to, then get some help from a friend, or mentor. You’ll find that assistance can make developing a relationship with God a winning experience.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What could you use a little help in accomplishing? Leave your comment below.

by

Being Firstborn Increases Your Duty

Picture 017

I think my firstborn nature is keeping me from reaching one of my goals. There is something about firstborns that they are duty-bound.

They diligently follow through on something until it’s complete. We have a kind of gyroscopic equilibrium deep inside us that does not stabilize until we have done what we think is right.

Of course, what we think is right probably came from all the “no’s” we got from our parents in the first two years of life. The more “no’s” we got back then, the harder it is now to maintain that inner balance.

How this is playing out for me right now is with food and my weight goal. I hope to reach my target weight goal by the end of the month but the problem is we are over a week into the new year and I’m still trying to clean up the excesses of Christmas food.

… Not so much the turkey, more like the candy, baking, and other calorie-laden edibles.

You see, right now along with every meal, I also have to consume morsels of good cheer that are lingering in our pantry and fridge.

And yes, I said “have to” because of my firstborn nature, and the program my parents instilled in me before I was really accountable for anything.

Those Ferrero Rochers HAVE TO be eaten. Lil’s allergic to hazelnuts so I HAVE TO do them in. Then there are the liquorice allsorts and the peanut brittle, and . . . I could go on and on.

I’m not even mentioning the cookies and other baking.

Every time I open the pantry, I start to get vertigo unless I pop something in my mouth. This firstborn thing is really getting to me. I know what I need to be doing, but this thing I have about cleaning up is killing me!

With every piece of chocolate, every Christmas cookie, I sense my cholesterol on the rise. But I say to myself, “It’s just until I get rid of all this stuff.”

The problem is there’s so much of it. And because Lil’s not a firstborn, it’s all on me to do the clean up.

I know, it’s a heavy weight to bear . . . literally.

I have a choice to make. I either gorge myself and get rid of it all quickly (and in the process gain about 10 more pounds), or I slowly kill myself by eating just bits every day.

I think my second choice would take until March which is way past my target weight date. But the other prospect will have me living on my new rowing machine for hours every day to work off the poundage I’ll be putting on.

I just wish my parents hadn’t said “no” so often when I was a child so I didn’t have to say “yes” so often now.

Well it’s morning now, and the cream I’ve been adding to the milk with my cereal is finished so I’m done with that. I will, however, need to finish off Lily’s caramel corn later today.  Man, it never ends.

Here’s the thing: There are a lot of things that we might feel bound to – one of those things should be our spiritual growth. We should have a feeling deep inside that things are not quite right unless we are growing spiritually. We should feel like we are out of sorts unless we take care of our spiritual needs. Stay stabilized and commit to your spiritual growth this year.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you plan to grow spiritually this year? Leave your comment below.

by

Preparation Should Be Our Focus 

Have you noticed how much time goes into preparation as opposed to the actual event?

dinner setting1

It’s usually double, triple or more time than the event itself!

The other night we had some guests over for dinner. It was a great time and I think everyone enjoyed themselves.

But the time it took to prepare for the dinner was exorbitantly more than the dinner itself.

I’m not a cook but I noticed how long Lil spent in preparation for the meal … it’s no wonder people eat at restaurants so frequently.

You can leave home for a fast food joint, be fed and return home in the same or less time than it takes to prepare a meal yourself. And you don’t have the clean up either!

You just have to remember what the symbols for bottles, paper and food look like so you can put your trash and recycling in the right place.

But this discrepancy of time between preparation and an event happens in all aspects of life.

I remember my kids would spend hours setting up their hot wheel track all over the basement.  They would test it out to make sure they had the power chargers in the right places so that the cars would have enough speed to make it through to the end.

When it was all set up and ready to go, it took about 10 seconds for a car to go from start to finish.

I know that for me to preach a sermon takes about 30 -35 minutes – at least that’s what I aim for.  But to prepare for that thirty minute sermon takes a good 15 hours or so.

Back when I was in high school, I waited outside A&A record store on Yonge St., in downtown Toronto, all night to get tickets to an Elton John concert.

The concert was about 3 hours in total, but I had invested way more time!

What I noticed is we spend all kinds of time preparing for things that we are looking forward to. It’s like we do the work to reap the pleasure – only the pleasure lasts for such a short time in comparison.

What we really need to do is switch what we find our pleasure in. We should really be taking pleasure in the preparation to get the full enjoyment of the event or activity.

How much better would it be at the end of the night, washing up the dishes after a dinner party, to have taken pleasure in the preparation of the whole event?

We wouldn’t make comments like, “That was nice, but a lot of work”.

Instead, we would have savoured the time spent wrapping the cutlery in the napkins, or peeling the carrots, or cleaning the bathrooms (well, maybe not that one).

When it was all done we would be excited to do it all over again really soon. But who am I kidding? I’m just trying to figure out a way to convince Lily to put our china dishes in the dishwasher instead of washing them by hand!

Here’s the thing: We like outcomes, the main event; we try to reduce preparation. But it is in the preparation that the outcome, the main event, is as enjoyable as it is. To become more Christlike in our attitude and actions takes preparation. Time spent with God and His word is where He works on getting you all ready and presentable to emulate His Son.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you found to be the biggest time discrepancy between preparation and outcome? Leave your comment below.