thoughts

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Why It’s Difficult To Make A Group Decision

We make decisions every day; we’re really good at it. We humans are as comfortable making decisions as a big ol’ dog is laying on his favourite rug.

Business session

But when you put a couple of people together – or, say 20, or maybe several hundred – making decisions is a whole new kind of beast. Decisions aren’t easily made in that kind of environment.

This week I attended our denomination’s General Assembly in Ottawa. It’s one of those conferences where one of the prime reasons we come together is to make decisions.

What you notice in these types of meetings is a lot of people have lots to say. Their eyes reveal their eagerness to get it out. And with lots to say, we often take too long to say it. And because those words are burning in our souls, we will say them even if they’ve already been stated.

Of course by stating them again we will say them with greater clarity.

That burning deep inside us is the same fire a preacher has when he’s churned all week on a passage, and has crafted what he believes is the word God has given him for his congregation that week. He just can’t wait to get that message out.

But as much as we want to say our peace, we aren’t as good at listening to others get their words out. What I find is that most of us already have our minds made up. We like our words, and we don’t really get swayed often by the wisdom that comes from the mouths of others.

But it’s more than just liking our thoughts; we’re comfortable with our thoughts.

It’s like when you settle in to watch a movie: you grab a big glass of Dr. Pepper (well, I do) and a few snacks; you get in your favourite spot on the couch; you gaze at the TV as the opening scene begins, and then the phone rings!

You don’t want to get up and move; you are settled in for the night.

When we hear someone with a different perspective, it doesn’t matter how convincing the ring of their words is, we don’t want to move from our position. Our minds are made up. We filter their words rather than give full value to them.

So the discussion drones on and on, with many words spoken but not much movement of position. We sit comfortably, leaning back and viewing the entertainment, unwilling to move and be disturbed by others’ words. Man . . . it’s tough to make decisions.

Here’s the thing: What is true with people is true with God. He speaks to us through scripture, through others, in our quiet thoughts, in our dreams. We need to be careful we are not so comfortable with our thoughts and ideas that we won’t get up and answer that ringing of God’s voice to us. We need to be ready to move from our position to follow God’s leading.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What makes hearing the words of others so difficult for you? I’d love to hear from you; you can leave your comment below.

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Why You Should Share Your Embarrassing Moments

We all have them. Embarrassing moments when we do dumb, stupid things that we wish we could take back.

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It might be something we said or did, but the result is the same: red-faced, head down, too shamed to look up or around to see if anyone noticed.

Embarrassing moments on You Tube go viral. It’s all good … except for the person who’s embarrassed.

I once took a picture of a vehicle stuck on top of a snow pile. The owner was so embarrassed she begged me not to post it on You Tube. I didn’t post it, but I did bog about it (read it here.)

Well, what goes around comes around. The other day I was coming back from a bike ride with my bike on my car roof carrier.

As I drove by the back of my house, I hit the garage door remote button and, by the time I pulled onto my street and into my driveway, the door was fully open.

So, like I do every day, I drove right in . . . that is until I got some resistance and heard this crunching sound!

Immediately, I realized what I’d done. I backed up and then my bike came bounding off the top of the car. Just to add to the embarrassment, it clipped my side mirror which is now wobbly.

I sat there, in my car for a moment, thinking I’d wrecked my bike, my bike rack and my garage. And most of all, I’d embarrassed myself.

When I got out and assessed the damage, my bike seemed to be fine, and the top moulding of my garage only had a little mark on it.

The mirror, well, it was wobbly and will probably need to be replaced. The bike rack … broken pieces and bent parts. Me … bruised ego.

I was embarrassed. I wondered who saw it, which neighbour would bring it up at our street BBQ. I wanted to hide.

But you know, as embarrassed as I was, the next day I told a friend what I did.

Mind you, I couldn’t even look him in the eye. I looked down or away from him most of the time,  until he commented after my story. He said “Ya, I’ve done that twice”.

All of a sudden I had company in my embarrassment, and it wasn’t so embarrassing any more. It was more like I joined the club of guys who’ve smashed their bikes into their garages.

I got so bold that two days later I told a couple other friends and they started telling their stories of crashing things attached to their vehicles.

It turns out I’m not the one and only idiot to forget I had a bike on my roof. There are lots of us and I found healing for my embarrassment when I shared it.

Here’s the thing: When we sin, there is, often times, shame that goes with the sin. That keeps us from wanting to confess it to God or others. We feel alone in it, like we’re the only one who has ever sinned that way. But the truth is, that’s Satan’s way of keeping you in your sin.

Confession frees you from shame – first because it’s no longer hidden, or a secret; second, because you find that you’re not alone; and third, because confession is the first step to turning from your sin. Don’t remain in shame; confess your sin.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What embarrassing moment have you shared and then found comfort in? I’d really like to hear from you; leave your comment below.

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The Secret Sauce In Serving

There is something about serving that pays back greater value than just being part of something.

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This past week our church had two events that required groups of people to come together to serve others. On Wednesday we had a funeral at our church which included putting on a lunch reception after the service. Four days later we had our church picnic, which required a group of people coming together to serve all those attending.

Both of these events involved food, and lots of it!

They say there is a connection that is made when we eat together. And you can sure see it. When people have a sandwich, or hamburger, being mangled between their teeth, though it’s difficult to understand what they’re saying, there seems to be an easy flow of words.

Give people food and they will gather and they will talk. Food loosens us up; it makes us more social. Food gives us something to do with our hands.

Maybe it’s a distraction from standing face to face with nothing but a few inches of air between us. With food you have this other thing you’re doing on the side while you chew the fat with the person across from you.

… But when the food is gone and the conversation ends, you get up and walk away.

Serving goes deeper than that. Maybe that’s why it’s more difficult to get people to serve – more is required but more is gained as well.

When you serve at these kinds of functions you are doing more than eating and talking. You are part of making it all happen. You are the ones that make it possible for someone to feel comfortable stuffing a grape in the corner of their cheek while explaining what their family is up to these days.

You get to eat and talk too, but you’re an insider. You were there to set up, or cook, or clean up.

There is some kind of satisfaction you have when it’s done. You don’t just get up and walk away. There is a feeling of “we did it; it all came together … we helped” that those who just attended don’t have.

And that’s the secret sauce. It does take more effort, but the payoff is much greater. You don’t just walk away and forget about the event. You’re glad you made someone’s day, or that you helped make it happen. There’s a sense of connection with those you served with.

Between the funeral and the picnic this past week at our church, there were many who helped out and served. I’m proud to be part of a church that pitches in, digs down and makes something happen for the benefit of others.

Thanks KAC! You know who you are and what you did. I just want you to know I appreciate it all. And I hope you tasted the secret sauce of serving at these events.

Here’s the thing: When you serve the Lord, no matter how great or small, the secret sauce you taste is knowing that you’ve pleased your heavenly Father, that you have done something that has lasting, eternal value, and that you’re developing a deeper connection with Christ (and starting to look more like Him). Keep serving.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What is one highlight you have from serving the Lord? I’d love to hear from you; leave your comment below.

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How To Keep From Following The Wrong Truth

You can believe something to be true, can work very hard at following that truth through, and you can still be completely wrong or off course.

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A couple of weeks ago, we had a glitch with our church website. We couldn’t post recordings of messages to the site any more. The file size had to be so small that our sermons couldn’t be uploaded.

I remembered that this was an issue a year or so ago.

And, I remembered I had fixed the problem by going into the guts of the website and creating a file I didn’t understand, in an environment beyond my comprehension, using code that superseded my cognition. I thought I was hypnotized.

I figured I had to dive in and do that again. But a year had passed and I was grasping to remember what I had done.

One thing I was sure of was that this was a problem I needed to fix and not something I could ask the nice techie dudes on the support site about.

I tried three different times to correct the problem. Each time took about an hour or more of looking at the inside of our website – it’s the side of the site that nobody sees, with files and folders.

Finally, I exhausted all hope that I could figure out how to correct the problem. I decided to go to the people who live inside computers and beg them to help this poor dense sod solve his problem.

I made my request, left my computer and went to a meeting. When I got back from my meeting, the problem was fixed!

It turned out that I couldn’t have fixed it. This problem was something the support people needed to correct. I was thinking it was something I had to do, but I was wrong.

And that reminded me of a time I thought a plane I was to catch left at 2 pm in the afternoon, and I was cutting it close to make it before take off.

So I went to the front of a long line of people and asked to butt in because my plane was leaving in 15 minutes … only to find out from the ticket agent that my plane had left 45 minutes ago!

I was sure I knew the time, and I had made my plans based on what I was sure of. I never actually checked the ticket. I thought I knew the time, but I was wrong.

Here’s the thing: I thought I needed to figure out my website problem, so I worked hard to come up with a solution. I thought I knew when my plane left so I showed up at the airport at the appropriate time. I actually worked for nothing and showed up too late! We can do the same when it comes to the end of our life. We can work hard to be prepared for the end, but if we work at the wrong things, it’s for nothing. Or we can think we have more time than we really do, and so we are not prepared. Make sure you have a clear understanding of the relationship you need to have with God. You can only get that by knowing what God says in the Bible.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you been sure of only to find out you were dead wrong? I’d like to hear from you; leave your comment below.

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What You Need To Know About Perfect Timing

You know when you get that “WOW” moment, when something happens at the exact right time? It might be an important letter that comes just when you need it. Maybe you arrive on the scene at the exact time you’re needed most.

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Whatever it is, we call it “perfect timing”, and it amazes us every time it happens, doesn’t it?

This week we were stripping the paint off our cottage deck. Some was wearing off, some was blistering off … and I’m not sure what was going through the mind of the previous owner when he picked the colour to begin with!

The first day was a beautiful sunny, warm day and we got most of the paint off the deck itself. But we still had the railing posts and the steps to do.

The next day it started out raining. The sky was very dark and it looked like that was what it would be like the rest of the day. We had almost decided to pack up and go home when we got a little break in the rain.

So instead of leaving, we started in on it. We worked for most of the morning and then took a break for lunch. By mid afternoon we had used up all the goop we had bought to get the paint off.

We were pretty much done, so we started cleaning up and putting everything back in order. All the deck furniture, BBQ, etc. needed to be put back on the deck, not to mention the railing inserts that needed to be nailed back into place.

When everything was done, and the shed locked, we went into the cottage, and turned around to look at the work we had done. And WOW, the rain just started coming down like God had recanted on His promise to never send a flood again!

If we had have been out there ten seconds longer we would have been caught. It was quite a storm because twenty minutes away in Owen Sound a tornado touched down, and later that day there was another tornado in another part of the province.

But for us, it was perfect timing! … It reminds me of a time when my then 1 1/2 year old daughter was jumping on the same couch I was sitting on. I was talking to people across from me and out of the corner of my eye I noticed she jumped too high and went right over the armrest of the couch.

Without looking, I stuck my hand out and caught her by the ankle, with her head just inches from hitting the floor. It was a great catch – again perfect timing!

Perfect timing is awesome to experience. But you never know it’s going to happen until it does.

Here’s the thing: We can get really frustrated wanting something from God and then waiting seemingly forever for an answer. Whatever you do, don’t get in the way of what God is doing so that you miss His perfect timing. When God answers, it may surprise you, be different than you thought, or come at the eleventh hour. But one thing is for sure: it will be perfect timing. Then soak in the WOW.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: When have you experienced that perfect timing from God? I’d love to hear from you; you can leave your comment below.

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Why Keeping Secrets Can Hurt You

I need you to keep this blog a secret … at least from my doctor. Today is my birthday and there are probably going to be a few surprises. But there will also be a few things that I am sure of today.

Paul's Birthday cake

While I have no idea what presents I will receive, I do know what cake I will be eating on my birthday. It’s the same every year. And just to confirm my already confident prediction, I saw Lily baking it.

Now the reason we have to keep this from my doctor is because of the sugar and fat content of this cake. All cakes fall into the “not healthy” category of food groups, but my cake probably ranks up there higher than most.

The ingredients are simple: angel food cake, whip cream and raspberries. When the cake has been baked, it is cut in half and both halves are hollowed out just a bit. Then in a bowl you mix the raspberries into the whip cream to make the “icing”.

Once that’s done, you put a ton of the “icing” into the hollowed out parts of the cake and then put the two halves back together.

Finally, you slather the outside of the cake (and I mean slather it on thick) with the whip cream mixture and you’re done.

Now is your mouth watering already? . . .  Mine is, and it’s only 7:30 am when I’m writing this piece.

So, you see, this is not the kind of thing you share with your doctor.

When he asks how you are feeling, you say, “Very well, thank you.”  When he asks, “Have you been getting your exercise?” you say, “I’ve been biking three times a week.” When he queries how you have been eating, you DON’T mention the cake. You just say, “I’ve been trying to eat more vegetables lately.”

Now I only get this cake once a year. It’s strictly a birthday cake, not an “I thought I’d bake your favourite cake Friday”. But this year I got a bonus.

For the first time in six years, Karlie was home for her birthday and Lily, like usual, was all geared up to bake her a cake. But to everyone’s surprise, and my delight, Karlie asked for my birthday cake.

So I’ve had a couple of pieces already this year; just as good as ever, and double reason not to let this leak out to the doctor.

By the way, it’s not all bad. I’ll be working that cake off today by stripping the paint off my deck at the cottage. It will be like I ate only vegetables today.

Here’s the thing: In life we can keep things from others. We might do it to look good or because we would be embarrassed or ashamed if others knew. But just like my birthday cake will contribute to clogging my arteries and adding on a few pounds, keeping things from others only hurts yourself. You can try to keep things from God, and try to ignore the fact that He knows everything. You can even pretend that it’s all a secret. But you are only hurting yourself. Admit your sin to God; don’t try to hide it from Him. He knows anyway … just like my doctor will probably get wind of this blog.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How has keeping something from others hurt you in the long run? I’d really like to hear from you;, you can leave your comment below.

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What It Takes To Get A Good Night’s Sleep

There is a secret to getting a good night’s sleep, and it requires that you are at peace. However, peace is not that easy to come by. There are so many things that interrupt our peace.

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For me, it looks like I will finally get a good night’s sleep tonight. It’s been some time since I’ve been able to feel well-rested when I get up in the morning.

If you’re wondering if I’ve tried taking sleep medication to help me get a good night of rest, the answer is no … but I have thought of not watching the NHL playoffs so I could get to bed earlier.

Of course, that’s only good in theory.  In reality, no matter how tired I am when I get up, no matter how often during the day I tell myself I should go to bed early, when the game starts I’m up till it’s done.

But that scene is now finished for the season. I can now rest in peace … well, I don’t mean it like it sounds. I don’t intend to rest forever, quite yet. But at least now I can get the proper rest I need.

When the game ended last night (actually, early this morning), I was able to fall asleep in moments after I hit the pillow.

It wouldn’t have been the case if the Toronto Maple Leafs had been there. I would have been on such an anxious, joy-filled, Dr. Pepper high, that I would have needed another hour or so just to get calm enough to get horizontal enough to sleep.

Even still, all game long, every time the fans chanted “Go Kings Go”, it sounded to me like they were shouting “Go Leafs Go” … to which I joined in and chanted quietly along with them.

Maybe it was that Leaf power that propelled the LA Kings to finally end the game in the second period of overtime. With 5:17 left in the second overtime period, that was around 1:00 am at my house, Martinez finally put the playoffs to bed.

Then with the festivities after the game, each player skating with the cup, pictures, and interviews, it went until about 1:45 am.

But the most fitting part was when Ron McLean was wrapping up the NHL season, and the TV feed was lost and the screen went blank. What a shame we didn’t get to hear Ron’s last pun to end the season. Maybe next year they can go to black more often when Ron does his little ditties.

Funny thing, I must have slept like a baby after that because I woke up before my alarm went off at 6:00 am! … though I did hang around in bed for another ten minutes to make sure I was really awake and not dreaming.

Here’s the thing: Life has its moments when it’s tough to find the peace we need to function well and feel rested. Real peace – lasting peace – only comes from having assurance that Christ has forgiven you. Trusting in Christ’s sacrifice for you gives you peace so you don’t have to carry anxiety with you day and night. Rest well.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What keeps you from getting the full rest you need? I’d really like to hear from you, so leave a comment below.

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Why We All Think We Are Lucky

 

I thought just young people believed they were invincible. It turns out that most of us think nothing bad is going to happen to us.

tick-bites

In the last month I have heard of three people getting ticks. Two of them I see at least on a weekly basis. And it’s a little serious because about 20% of the ticks in this region of Ontario carry Lime disease.

The tick problem in our parts concerns me because I mountain bike in wooded areas … which is prime territory for the minute little creatures. I just recently found out that a guy, who bikes in the same place I bike, picked up a tick on the weekend.

Knowing this bothers me. But, you know what? I’m not going to stop biking in the area.

Some precautions are to wear long-sleeved shirts, and long pants tucked into your socks. You should also splash on a good dose of repellent with Deet in it.

That’s all fine and dandy but I’m not biking in attire that is fit for a Spruce Meadows equestrian event. Nor am I crazy about using mosquito repellent as cologne for the next several months.

I have a good mind to take my chances when I go biking. And that’s the thing – if there really is a 20% chance of getting a tick with Lime disease, that means I have an 80% chance of not getting one.

That causes one to start thinking, “How lucky do I feel?” It’s the same question Clint Eastwood asked the bad guy in one of his movies. He pointed his gun at the robber and said “You’re thinking, ‘Did he fire six shots or only five?’ … well you have to ask yourself, ‘Do I feel lucky?’”

We all take risks all the time, and not just with ticks, but with other things, too. In an article I read on heart attack recovery, it said up to 80% of heart attack survivors return to previous unhealthy lifestyle patterns.

We think that even though we’re not doing all that we should, we’ll still be okay.

It’s supposed to be those who are 16 – 28 that think they’re untouchable. But I wonder if they are just coming by these traits naturally by watching older generations living like the cat down the street with nine lives.

I think this mentality has more to do with habit and less to do with feeling lucky. I think we have a hard time giving up what we like. We don’t like giving up our comfort foods, our sedentary lifestyle, our fashion, or even what something feels like when we have it on (repellent or sunscreen).

So every day we wake up and, without consciously thinking it, we act like we feel lucky.

Here’s the thing: We can live our whole life thinking that either there is no God or that in the end God will befriend us. If you live that way you have to ask yourself, “Do I feel lucky?”, because if you’re wrong, the consequences are eternal.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you take little risks every day without thinking about the consequences? I’d really like to hear from you; you can leave your comment below.

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How To Get To The Real Truth

Doing your own research is always better than taking someone’s word for it.

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This Thursday we have a provincial election and I will be relieved when it’s over. It’s really disrupting the NHL playoffs right now.

I think the political parties and special interest groups know that right now a lot of people are watching hockey, so they are flooding the games with their campaign ads.

It would be one thing if they focussed on what they stood for and what they want to do about making our province the best it can be, but all we see and hear is what the other parties are going to do to take down the province.

In fact, each party says the other parties are going to do the opposite of what those parties are promising to do.

It’s a tough decision to make. The most memorable idea that can be forced into our minds will probably be the determining factor of who people will vote for on election day.

In my riding, it’s a little more difficult to get a sense of who would be the best candidate. There is not as much publicity for them as there is for the provincial leaders.

The other day, Lily and I were in the car, backing out of our driveway, when a woman appeared right by our car window. We rolled down the window and started to chat and it turned out she was campaigning for one of the candidates.

She asked if we had questions and I said I didn’t know much about this particular candidate. Lily joined in and said, “Yes, we don’t know if he’s married, has a family, or what he stands for.” To that the woman said, “Well, he is married and I’m his wife.”

Now at least I know what this candidate’s wife looks like … which is better than one of the other candidates who needs to trim her bangs so we can see what she looks like.

I fear she is not able to see people and things well because, when I look at her campaign posters, she seems to be squinting.

It really is a shame that politicians know that we will be swayed by the information that is presented to us in the loudest and most prevailing voice. It doesn’t even matter if it is true or half true as long as we get what they are saying.

What we really need to do is stop listening and watching the commercials, stop looking at the signs on the corners, and start trying to figure out on our own who would be best to lead our province and represent us at Queen’s Park (provincial Parliament).

If we did one hour of research for each candidate we are interested in we might find that our decision on voting day would be clearer.

Here’s the thing: We can get opinions and ideas about God and the Bible from people who make bold statements. And then without really checking further, we accept those statements as the truth. There is great danger in doing that. What we should do is take the time to research God’s statements for ourselves so that we have it from the right source.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you go about determining the truth? I’d like to hear from you; you can leave your comment below.

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How To Persevere 

Sometimes we are better when we have to persevere. You know, the struggle makes you focus more, work harder, come together or rise to the challenge.

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This week my son, two of his friends and I were in a golf tournament. It was a fundraiser for Youth Unlimited Kingston (Youth for Christ). This was the same foursome we entered the year before.

Last year we won the event (you can read that blog here), and this year the outcome was the same … but that wasn’t the only thing that was the same. The weather was brutal both years!

Last year it was cold and rainy; this year it wasn’t much better … though I do remember completely changing my entire ensemble after last year’s round, while this year I only changed my shirt.

The first year no one really knew what to expect from our team, but this year people were talking before things got going. I had the feeling that people saw us as the team to beat.

As one team was driving their cart past us on the way to their first tee, we heard the comment,  “You guys can’t win this year.”  To that one of the boys casually said, without looking up from his golf bag, “We probably will.” I just chuckled to myself at the confidence.

We knew people would be out to beat us, but the boys were gamers and wanted to repeat. I was more concerned that it would stop raining so that my clubs wouldn’t fly out of my hands when I swung at the ball.

But the rain didn’t want to go away. The clouds were dark and looming even when it wasn’t raining, and when it was it made playing golf as much fun as waking up this winter to my driveway full of snow for the fifth day in a row!

But there were highlights … one of the guys hit all three consecutive shots on one hole which gave us an eagle. Then on another, when three of us had missed the green on a par 3, the fourth stepped up and threw a dart at the pin, ending up 4 feet from the hole.

And that was the story of the round. When we needed a shot or a big hole to pick us up, someone provided something special to keep the momentum going.

In the end, we were a little disappointed; we had set a big goal and didn’t reach it. But we decided nine under par was all we could do and we just hoped that it would be enough or close to it.

Go figure, the weather caused everyone else to have the same struggles, and we won by 2 strokes. Now it’s off to Wooden Sticks for a $700 round of golf for four – our first prize winnings!

Here’s the thing: In life there are times when we have to persevere through things. It’s not easy to do it alone. Just like in our golf game when three of us blew a shot, and one of us came through with just the right touch, God is with you as you persevere through the game of life to provide the right touch when needed. Sometimes it won’t be until the last chance, but persevere. Turn to God and watch Him rise to the challenge.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How have you found God there with you when you have persevered? I’d really like to hear from you; you can leave a comment below.