thoughts

by

How Real Change Happens From Within

I made a big change in my appearance the other day. I didn’t get a new suit or comb my hair differently … I just shaved my whole face.

It’s the first time I’ve done that in almost thirty years. Since 1984 I’ve had a moustache and for the last 15 years I’ve had a goatee. But on December 1st, I shaved it all off!

ps - just mouth

I had to take a second and third look at myself in the mirror to make sure it was really me staring back. It was hard not to smile and repeat the words, “Oh boy” as in, “Oh boy, what have I done?!”. But I’m going to give it a little time to get used to it.

One thing I’m not getting used to is shaving. It’s not that there is more real estate to take care of now, we’re only talking about a face. But, I have scars on my face from hockey that have to be considered now.

I’ve had 5 stitches beside my right eye and 3 stitches on my right eyelid. Then I had 3 stitches on the left corner of my mouth from a fight with Neil Lumsden, who was just inducted into the CFL Football Hall of Fame. Besides those, I had 4 stitches under my bottom lip and 3 stitches on the left corner of my chin.

The last three scars come into play when I shave. I haven’t had to bother with them for so long, but now I have to navigate around my face like it’s a land mine to keep me from nicking myself with the razor.

Though my face doesn’t look like Gerry Cheevers’ goalie mask, I do have a few marks that ensure I stay attentive when I have a sharp instrument in hand near my melon.

It all changes how I look, and it’s taking some getting used to it. I might grow it all back, but I’m going to wait and give it some time to sink in.

I’m finding I have to keep telling myself that I look different but I’m the same guy.

… And others have weighed in on the change whether they know it or not. Some people have said nothing which means they probably don’t like it. I’ve had lots of people acknowledge that I’ve shaved, but no comment on what they think of it. That’s probably a bad sign too.

One person came out and just said he didn’t like it. My daughter saw a picture and said “Wow! He looks so different, yet the same.”  And my son said, “That’s going to take some serious getting used to.”

Both Lily and I aren’t sure what to think. I think I’m looking at my brother when I look in the mirror and I start to laugh. I’m not sure what I’ll do.

Here’s the thing: Shaving my face hasn’t changed who I am one bit. I’m still the same guy on the inside. But making a change on your inside will result in outward change.

A Christian is first changed on the inside and then that change is made visible in his or hers appearance through actions, attitudes and words. So when we look in the mirror, we should ask ourselves, “Is my outside appearance matching my inside appearance?”

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What outward change have you made that elicited lots of attention? Leave your comment below.

by

Why Letting Go Of The Old Is So Difficult

I’m having a hard time deciding on changing some old hockey equipment for new stuff – my hockey gloves and skates.

IMG_0001

My hockey gloves are only 6 years old, but I don’t have any palms in them any more.  My skates, well, that’s another story. They’re about 20 years old.

My skates are so old young people look at them and wonder if they should be in a museum! The other day, I was in the change room and a young guy looked over at my skates and said, “How old are THEY?!” He said it with a tone of “What are those things anyway?!”

My skates are probably about as old as he is.

I’ve thought of getting new skates but that thought scares me. They don’t make my kind any more.

I have top of the line (in their day) CCM Tacks called “Vacu Tacks”. To fit them, they would have you put your feet in the skates and then they would take a heat gun and heat up the outside, pretty much until your feet started to cook inside.

When they were sufficiently hot, with your feet still in the skate, they would but a rubber bag around the skate and zip it up. They would attach a compressor to a valve on the bag and they would literally suck all the air out of the bag, causing the hot skate to form to the shape of your foot.

They fit perfectly from the first time I wore them. It’s not going to be easy to get a new pair to fit like that again. Besides, my skates still work, and are in pretty good shape for all the hockey they have witnessed over the years.

My gloves are another story. I basically hold onto my stick bare-handed with a floppy lump of protection over top. Getting new gloves is not easy either.

They have to be the right size, so my hand doesn’t slide around in them. The palm leather must be very supple so its almost like there is nothing there. And there has to be enough freedom at the wrist so I can maneuver my hands easily for stick handling.

People think I’m crazy to hang onto my old equipment. But this stuff works, I’m comfortable with it, it’s been with me a long time.

I’m afraid that my experience with new equipment won’t be as good as my experience with my old equipment. Why would I go for something new that, in the end, doesn’t work as well as what I’m already using? Being new is not always enough reason to switch.

So I’ve been to a few stores, I’ve tried on dozens of gloves, and I’ll keep trying to find a pair that will work. I may have to go outside of Kingston to get the right pair. I’m going to take my time to make sure they’ll be right.

As for skates, I can’t get myself to do anything more than just look at the display models in stores. I’m not quite ready to try a pair on.

Here’s the thing: Often when we have had an experience with God, whether it is in our devotions, or in ministry, we tend to savour it. We are satisfied with it and don’t want to move on to a new experience that might be different or feel uncomfortable. Don’t let yourself get stuck there. Keep looking for what God has next for you to experience.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you keep using even though it’s almost worn out and you are due for a new one? Leave your comment below.

by

When You Know Life And Purpose Have Aligned

There is a sweetness when our life and purpose align. When life and purpose come together, there is something special that’s hard to put into words.

fireplace

Its an amazing feeling like being by a fireplace, sipping your favourite beverage and listening to good music – can you imagine that feeling?

This week Lily and I were at our District Pastors’ Retreat. Once a year, the pastors in our denomination get together in each district for a couple of days to be renewed and refreshed together. We go to be preached to, challenged, encouraged and sent out again.

It’s sort of for us, what we do each week of the year for others.  Lily and I look forward to these times together, and even view the drive to the retreat as special.

This year, it was just a little different. Lily and I went to prayer retreat with our daughter. Now, I think she was at one retreat when she was about 5 or 6 months old, but this year she came as a pastor.

It’s pretty special to have your daughter join you as a colleague, and not just your daughter, at a special work related event. She was there as a fellow worker in ministry.

Along with all my peers and pastor friends was my daughter, as one of them. She didn’t come as my child, but as a co-worker.

Every time I introduced her, I felt a sense of pride – a thankful pride. I had this warmth deep within me that spread to every part of my insides. And even though there was a sense that Karlie was now invading my territory, it was in a good way, a welcoming way.

It wasn’t all good though. There were some things about having our daughter along that didn’t make our pastors’ retreat easy for me. I think it started on our trip up. When we stopped for dinner, I was talked into eating a “wrappy pita thingy” … lots of lettuce, not much meat.

Our afternoon of strolling through the town of Huntsville didn’t really work for me. The shopping trip into town was against me. Now there were two people who wanted to shop in stores I had no interest in.

I couldn’t even hurry Lily up because she had a partner who also wanted to stay longer. I ended up by myself at the chocolate store. And I think I soothed my woes by purchasing a little more candy that I should have.

On the other hand, I didn’t feel so bad leaving my wife to shop in some Christmas store; she had Karlie to keep her company.

There was this “two against one” thing going on the whole retreat – I caved on a lot of things. Still the pride in my heart and the warmth in my spirit made it all worth it.

Here’s the thing: Think of God creating you with a purpose, then watching you grow and develop. He sees you choose right and wrong along the way, and cringes a little when you make some decisions to go in ways that lead you away from His purpose. Then He watches how you turn, or begin to get on the path of what He has created you for. Finally, God surveys life and purpose align with you serving Him, working alongside Him in the purpose He created you for. Well, I know how God feels. He’s proud of His creation!

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you wish for your children? Leave your comment below.

by

Have You Made This Mistake In Completing A Project

Mistakes are common occurrences; I made a mistake the other day (oh, and I just made another one). Mistakes are the fuel of great discoveries, amazing breakthroughs, and huge successes.

photo 1

The key in making a mistake is to learn from it, use it to help point you in the right direction.

The other day, I looked out our back window and gazed at our back fence, where the lattice along the top of it had all been punched out the night before.

Back in the spring, one night some teens had walked by our property and punched a hole in our lattice . . . in 5 sections of it! It was rather disturbing. But when I went out to take a closer look, I was able to push the lattice back into place.

There were a few broken pieces, and it didn’t go back exactly like new, but it looked pretty good. So I left it. I figured I wasn’t going to fix it until school was out.

I didn’t want to immediately give those kids another target, and I didn’t want to give them the satisfaction that I had to fix it. In my mind, leaving the lattice sent the message that it really didn’t put me out.

Well summer came and went and I never got around to fixing my fence. Finally, the other day I knew it was time to replace the lattice because it got punched out again.

I couldn’t help being ticked off about having to do the work. I kind of wanted to get back at them.  You know, maybe booby trap the lattice, making it spring-loaded so if they punched it again, it would bounce right back in their faces. Or, maybe hide out and wait for them (maybe not). Or put a spy camera in my backyard to catch them.

I pictured them as angry teenagers, or maybe some tough karate kid who was showing off.

Then I started thinking back, trying to remember if I did stuff like that when I was a teen … and, yes, I did stupid things like that! I couldn’t think too poorly of them – they were much like me. I didn’t write myself off, so I shouldn’t write them off either.

I went to the store, found the lattice and purchased the five sheets I needed.

Back at the house, I gathered all my tools together, ladder, hammer, skill saw etc., and got to work. In one hour I had all five sections of lattice replaced. I stepped back and it looked good, and I thought, “Why didn’t I do this sooner? … like 5 months ago?!”

Not only does it look better to me and everyone else who walks by, but the new lattice is stronger, and it will be harder for someone to punch through again (they might need a green belt or something).

So far, I’ve been able to give my neighbour advice on fixing his lattice, there have been no more school dances – no punched in lattice … I’ll keep you posted.

Here’s the thing: When you have a question reading scripture, or from a sermon, or in a Bible Study, don’t put off seeking an answer to that question. Take time to dig deeper. Gather your tools: Bible, concordance, commentary, a book on the topic (most of these are available online).  You’ll resolve the issue, you will be stronger in your faith, and you’ll be able to help others.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What will it take for you to get working on that project or question that you have been putting off? Leave your comment below.

by

Why You Should Reuse Your Plastic Bags

I need a show of hands today – how many of you reuse those ziplock plastic bags? That’s what I thought … only my wife raised her hand.

tumblr_inline_mqk04clGxf1qz4rgp

It doesn’t matter what size of ziplock bag. In fact, the other day Lily was putting away a large, freshly washed ziplock bag and exclaimed, “I really like this large size. They are so handy.”  How can you be attached to a bag?  Really!?

Now, I don’t have anything against ziplock bags. I use them all the time. But let’s get one thing straight: they are to be used and then tossed. The idea behind them is simple: easy disposable.

Did you hear me, Lil? They are disposable! But there we were the other day, washing ziplock bags. Six of them, all in one dish washing session. That has to be a record and there should be a law or at least a rule against it.

I hate drying those bags. I know it’s all in my head. I just see them as a convenience item, something to be used and then chucked … I mean recycled, that’s what I mean.

In fact, by using them over and over, we are probably preventing some great recycled plastic product from being made. Ya, because my wife likes to recycle ziplock bags, we may be slowing down the production of surgical tubing or vehicle air bags or something important like that.

I just don’t like drying those bags. They are not hard like a glass, plate or even a plastic container. They don’t feel like they should be washed and dried. They look all wrinkly  and worn after they have been washed, and sometimes, the zip part of the bag doesn’t work as well.

The week before, my daughter was home and was helping with the dishes. She looked at the bags on the counter and asked, “Do you wash these?” I turned, looked at her, shook my head and mouthed the word, “no”.  But somehow Lily heard that and said, “Yes, wash them please.”

My wife insisted. But six bags, that’s over the top. She had been away for a week and there’s no way I had been collecting them. I wondered if she saved them from her trip or found them in an airport somewhere and thought they might come in handy.

I dried them but I didn’t like it. Now, if the next time I see one of those bags, it’s filled with a bunch of raspberries, I guess I won’t mind having dried it. I love raspberries.

Here’s the thing:  There are many words, verses or whole passages in the Bible that you’ve read but don’t have a desire to read again. You don’t see their application, they don’t seem beneficial, or they may be downright disturbing. Don’t neglect those parts of the Bible as being disposable or not applicable. At some point, that passage may have some meaning to you (yes, even genealogies). You may find an uninteresting passage suddenly now has particular application to you when it never really did before. It’s all there for our benefit, so take advantage of ALL of it. Get the most out of God’s Word.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you wanted to dispose of but later found useful? Leave your comment below.

by

Four Attitudes that Control Your Actions

I’ve been doing a lot of highway driving lately and it may be affecting my attitude. I’ve developed a bad attitude toward cruise control in cars.

vemp_1007_01+c4_corvette_cruise_control_repair+

Maybe drivers just need some lessons on how to use cruise control properly – especially in traffic (and where can you drive without traffic?!). Numerous times this last week, I have found myself behind someone who has their cruise control set for about 5 kilometres slower than I’ve been driving.

I know, it could be a sign to me to slow down. Maybe I shouldn’t be such a “lead foot Larry”. But on the other hand, maybe those cruise control people should just get out of my way!

I’m not bitter that I don’t have cruise control, I just wish people knew how to use it. If you have your cruise set, you really should drive in the right lane. If you want to drive in the left lane, take the cruise off.

It’s not that hard a thing to do. With only a touch of the brake, you can get back in control of your gas pedal again. How hard can that be? Judging from the drivers I’ve been behind, people are able to find their brake pedal way too often!

What really bugs me is when someone tries to pass another vehicle with their cruise control on. It’s so painful to be behind them; it drives me crazy! They try to pass someone who is going only about two kilometres slower so it takes them five minutes to make the move.

It’s like when a truck pulls out in front of you on the highway and wants to pass another truck. At that point, all you can do is crack open a Dr. Pepper, chow down on some chips or licorice and enjoy reading all the decals on the back of the truck.

Sometimes, by the time the truck gets past the other transport, I’ve almost figured out the driver’s first name – I certainly know all about the company he’s driving for. It’s brutal!

But there is no excuse for someone driving a car and doing the same thing. Here’s a tip:  if you are in cruise mode, just step on the gas when you pass. When you’re done, the cruise control will take you right back to your original speed.

Or, here’s a radical thought: touch your brake, step on the gas, and then hit resume when you’ve passed the guy.

It seems to me that people who block you while using their cruise control have an attitude. Their attitude may be “I’m going the correct speed, and I’m going to enforce it”,  “I could care less about anyone else on the road; it’s all about me”, “I’m too lazy to touch my brake or step on the gas”, or “I just want to bug you”.

The bottom line is, no matter what attitude they have, they are bugging me! People should have to take lessons on how to properly engage their cruise control before the dealership activates it.

Here’s the thing: Like the use of your cruise control can frustrate others, so can your use of the Bible. Let’s use the Bible in a right way, and not to slam, to be holier than others, to seem more knowledgeable, or to guilt someone. Rather, we should use the Bible to teach, rebuke, correct, train in righteousness (I read that somewhere!). There’s a subtle difference … and that’s determined by our attitude.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What’s your biggest attitude beef? Leave your comment below.

by

Why Your Mother-in law May Be Smarter Than Your Smart Phone

My smart phone is a pretty amazing device, but I think my mother-in-law is still smarter.

grama smarter

I had to do a funeral service in Ottawa, about two hours from Kingston where I live. I wanted to make sure that I got to the right place so I googled the name of the cemetery and found an address. I thought, just to be sure there weren’t two cemeteries with the same name or two locations in opposite ends of the city, I would phone my mother-in-law.

There is a reason why I wanted to be sure where I was going. Several years ago, I did a funeral in town and the following day was to do the committal service at a cemetery in another city that I wasn’t familiar with.

I got the address and left with plenty of time to spare. But the map took me to the opposite end of the city from the cemetery! I was so panicky, I pulled into a place where I knew I would find some local people: Tim Horton’s.

With sketchy directions, I drove like a mad man. I’m sure all those gathered, waiting for the late pastor to arrive, heard the roar of my engine as I came screaming into the cemetery and up to the grave side.

There was no way I was going to have that happen again! When I called my mother-in-law, I had to leave a message, so I got on my smart phone and used my map app to get directions. I thought I was all set.

A few hours later, my mother-in-law called me back. When I told her what I did, she casually gave me directions. As she did, I realized that her directions were a little different than those the map app had given me.

I decided to go with my mother-in-law’s directions.

The first indication that I was going to be on time for the service was when I passed the hearse about half way to Ottawa. I knew then, at the speed I was going, I would buy myself several minutes even if I got lost.

In the end, my mother-in-law’s directions were more direct and saved me time. The downside was I had to put up with my smart phone telling me to make a U-turn, and to “get back on route”.

My mother-in-law could outsmart a smart phone because she has lived in that city a long time and she’s driven to that cemetery before. It wasn’t just programmed information she read or somehow digested. She had personal experience with that route.

Here’s the thing: We can read books that give us information about God and His ways. But it is our experience of God and His ways in our life that give us insight and wisdom to help others. Never settle for information about God. Go the next step and experience that information … that will give you real wisdom to share.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: In your life, how has experience trumped information? Leave your comment below.

by

How Someone Can Jinx Something

Okay, it does sound wrong for a pastor to talk about jinx. That’s just superstition, right? And a pastor, of all people, shouldn’t believe in superstition (touch wood . . . just kidding).

yawns-are-contagious-766

Well, no, I don’t believe in superstition, but I do have a take on jinxing something.

The other day, I was with two friends and we were deciding on where to go for lunch. My one friend came loaded with coupons from every fast food restaurant in town.

We were price-matching the coupons and it looked like Wendy’s might be the best deal.  The problem was my one friend really doesn’t like Wendy’s. So he had a dilemma since Wendy’s offered the best bargain.

Both my other friend and I were fine with square burgers, but I think it was only the cheap price that caused Don (not his real name) to give in and agree to go to Wendy’s.

Though Don agreed, it didn’t stop him from sharing his views along the way. By the time we arrived at the burger joint, we knew exactly what the issues were that kept him from being a regular patron.

When we got our food and sat down, the complaining began. He used the phrase, “See? This is what I was saying!” frequently.  And I had to admit, he was right. It really was the worst experience I had ever had at Wendy’s.

I didn’t like the bun, the burger was greasy, and the fries were like they were day olds and double fried. The fries were so bad we were comparing them to what the people a table over from us were eating.

My other friend looked down at the floor, saw a fry half squished and said the exact same thing I was thinking: “That fry looks better than the ones we ate!” … and it had probably been there for an hour!

By the end of the meal, we were all disgusted with the food. I thought if this was my only experience at Wendy’s, I would never want to come back. … It’s interesting that I had that thought after eating with a guy who came into the restaurant with a negative attitude.

I even said to him, “Don, you probably jinxed our meal.” But this is what I really think: When you get something in your mind, you become focused on it and it shapes your experience.

Ever notice when you buy a new car how many other cars of the same colour or the same make you see on the road? Your mind is now focussed that way, so your experience is slanted that way.

I’m sure if, at another time, I had been served that same meal at Wendy’s (and there’s no doubt I have), without the negative attitude, I would have focussed on what I liked about the meal and not really noticed how bad it was.

The whole jinx thing is not superstitious; it is just our mind focussing on the negative. But it works – that was one bad meal!

Here’s the thing: If you are unsure that God loves you, wants and will bring about what’s best for you, then you will question His ability and power in your life. And that will affect your life experience. You will see God as not able to do what He says. But if you are sure of God’s love, you will trust and seek His power in your life and that will change your whole life experience and perspective for the better.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What past negative experience has impacted your willingness to experience something again? Leave your comment below.

by

What Will Bring Satisfaction To Your Day?

At the end of a day we want to look back with a sense of satisfaction. No matter what kind of day it was – a busy day, a day of trouble, or a day of ease – we want to feel satisfied with our day.

How-Satisfied-Are-You-With-Your-Life

My Saturday could have blown up in my face … it certainly didn’t go down as one of the most memorable days of my life. But at the end of it, satisfaction is what I felt.

It started as a great day; I had nothing pressing, could do anything I decided to do. There were a couple of things that were in the back of my mind that I wanted to do, like go for a bike ride.

It was a warm, sunny fall day with the leaves turning – everything outside was inviting. Instead, I ended up sitting on my couch in the basement with my computer … all day long.

With all the free time I had on Saturday, I thought I would upgrade our website to the latest version of software. As I started the task, I knew it was not going to be easy to do. But I did have the time, so I thought I’d go for it.

… And boy, did I! Along the way, I learned lots – more than I had ever wanted to know about software and the internet. I may be scarred for life now.

There were a couple of times during the day that I crashed our website and was not sure if I could get it back. I feared I would have to rebuild the website from scratch.

I read all kinds of horror stories about upgrading websites that really should have convinced me that I should have just left it alone, but no I kept going.

It may have been my dad’s voice in my head saying, “Finish what you start”. I wanted to go for a bike ride but I had to finish the upgrade. This compulsion goes back to when I was a kid and colouring in a colouring book …

One time I started colouring a picture and then half way through got bored and turned the page to start a new one. My dad said to me “Finish the one you started.” Those words got stuck in the part of my brain that makes decisions and now I have to finish what I start.

All day I kept asking questions via google search, and I had to reframe those questions over and over to get the answers I was looking for. I had to comb through useless information to get the nuggets of helpful suggestions.

I had to take some risks, because instructions were not that clear. I failed several times before I was successful. And it was the littlest things that brought the results I wanted. After hours of frustration, I found someone who had a similar problem, and the solution was to put an “@” at the beginning of line 1411 in some file.

It worked … it was 9:30 pm.

Even though it was a gorgeous day, and I could have gone biking, could have done a million things – even cutting the grass looked more exciting that day! – still, satisfaction marked my day.

Here’s the thing: There are a lot of difficult things we would rather put off, not deal with, turn a blind eye to. But if you will keep seeking God about these difficult issues or personal growth areas, not ignoring them, but persevering by continually bringing them to God, when God brings that answer, in the end, you will have as much satisfaction as when you do something enjoyable.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you stuck with in order to see it finished?  Leave your comment below.

by

The Reason You Don’t Change Your Busy Life

You ask ten people how they are doing and about 8 to 10 of them will say “busy”. That’s life for almost everyone. Now, mind you, leading a busy life is relative. Some people’s busyness is like a working vacation for others.

EN.001

But it doesn’t matter what your definition of busyness is. We have the same feelings of fatigue, hurriedness, and drivenness. It’s pretty standard fare for the average person in North America.

This week I was reminded of a time in my life when it was busier than it is now. We had some guests staying with us: a mom and her two boys, 3 and 1½ years old.

They were cute little guys, but they were also very busy. And that meant the house had a busy feel about it. It was lively; there was always something happening – actually, there was alway more than one thing happening.

A conversation had to be stopped and restarted several times to attend to a bump on the head, a wiping of the hands, and “No, don’t do that”, or a “Just a minute please”. You know how it works at those ages; kids need a lot of attention.

It’s just funny how you forget what it’s like. Now that our kids are, for the most part, out of the house, things are pretty quiet. At dinner there is only one conversation. The attention is only on one of two people at any one time.

There are rarely any bumps on the head, and food usually goes directly from plate to mouth. However, sometimes my food takes a detour and lands up on the placemat. If I would only learn to bring my plate closer . . . right, Lil?

To add to the excitement the other day, we also had another dinner guest. It was not a quiet meal, and it wasn’t calm, but it was pretty funny and exciting.

These little guys had to be reminded of things that we take for granted. Some things they had a hard time comprehending. Some things they didn’t want to comprehend, like the twenty times Lily had to tell Elias that the turtle didn’t need to be fed … he kept insisting that the turtle looked hungry.

Elias just needed something and didn’t know what it was. But I recognized that look in his eyes, that roaming around the kitchen. I knew what he was thinking. I have the same feelings, and do the same roaming after dinner. We just need something else; we’re not sure what it is, but we need something.

I asked, “What about dessert?” to which Lily replied, “Great. You come up with it then because I didn’t make any.” I just happened to have some “after dinner licorice” that seemed to do the trick for Elias … for a while.

It was a whirlwind of a meal but it was great because this was not life for us 24/7. And just when things were settling down, I sent Elias to check on the turtle. As he went, I couldn’t resist throwing out the suggestion, “Do you think he’s hungry?” That got me a reaction from Lily!

Here’s the thing: When we are in the midst of life, we aren’t conscious of just how fast paced and busy it is. Only when we step out of it can we then appreciate how non-stop life is. Carve out of your busyness some time to get quiet, reflective and find a peacefulness with God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What prevents you from stepping out of your busyness to find some quiet? Leave your comment below.