You really need to process comments that are made to you and not just take them at face value.
Sometimes people can make comments that are well-intentioned, but they kind of sting when you hear them. People’s comments can also seem out in left field, but actually have some substance to them.
I just got back from vacation and my second day back in the office someone came in and, as soon as they saw me, said, “Hey, looks like you gained some weight.”
I immediately thought they had read my blog the day before where I wrote about eating too much candy and not exercising enough on my vacation (you can read that one here).
But when I referred to my blog, he had a blank look on his face. I quickly realized the comment was just something he was observing about me.
That stung! – I really did look like I had gained some weight. I had to process the fact that it wasn’t only me who noticed the few extra pounds; everyone else could see it too.
That off-the-cuff comment got me thinking about making plans to take those extra pounds off over the next few weeks. It gave me a little motivation.
The next day, someone else saw me for the first time since I’ve been back, took a very quick look at me and said, “Hey, are you growing your hair a little longer?”
Now this was a wild comment because I had literally just walked in the door after getting my hair cut.
My first thought was that this person was not very observant, but later I reflected on why he might have thought my hair was longer.
Lately I’ve been combing my hair slightly differently and I figured that’s what he noticed. He noticed something was different; he just didn’t know what it was so he assumed it was longer.
Two days after my vacation, people’s perceptions of me have changed: now I’m fat and I’ve got long hair.
They didn’t say that, but some people might think that if those comments had been said to them.
That’s why you need to process the comments you receive from others. You also need to understand the person making the comment.
I know that the person who made the comment about my weight would himself like to put on a little weight. His comment probably was the result of looking at the contrast between what he’s trying to do and what I had accomplished.
I was the fulfillment of his goal … I only wish that could be true.
Sometimes we get all bent out of shape because of what someone says to us. We hold onto it and stew over it and build it up into a huge judgement on us.
It’s better to take the comment and process it so you don’t find yourself in front of one of those carnival mirrors that make you look short and wide … or fat and with long hair!
Here’s the thing: Our own words to ourselves can hinder us. We need to process what we say and think about ourselves. The best resource for that processing is the Bible, because in there you will find what God really thinks of you: He loves you and has a plan for you … and that’s all that matters.
That’s Life!
Paul
Question: What recent comment do you need to process rather than just believe at face value? Leave your comments below.
