Tattoos and Hand Grenades

Last night we had company for dinner.  My job was to get the house ready, which consisted of a little vacuuming and bathroom inspection.  I wish it had been just bathroom inspection, but I had to do some cleaning as well.

While I was doing the vacuuming, I noticed some marks on the kitchen floor.  I thought they were crumbs but the vacuum cleaner wouldn’t suck them up.  When I looked at them a little closer, I figured out what those marks were.

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It all goes back to Christmas morning . . . Each Christmas, Lily asks me to find something to go in the kids’ stockings (she doesn’t have the gift of buying creative stocking stuffers).  I don’t really look for items that are perfect for each individual; I generally look for items that will get a reaction of some kind.

This year, I found two items that I thought would spark some excitement and create a buzz around the tree Christmas morning.  The first item was tattoos.  Now these aren’t the kind of tattoos you lick and press on to you skin – these were way bigger!  They were sleeves of tattoos and I gave everyone a pack.

I liked them so much I wore mine all day long.  I was going to wear it to bed that night, but I thought that might be too much.  It was something like a skin coloured stocking material that had tattoo designs all over it.  It was awesome!  I looked like I played in the NBA or belonged in “the hood”.  Believe me, I looked real cool!

The other item raised some eyebrows and relates back to the marks on the kitchen floor.  What I put in everyone’s stockings this year were hand grenades.  You heard me right, and I got them from the dollar store, no less!  Next time you are thinking of firearms, head right to Dollarama – they have a good supply.

I didn’t really read the package, though.  I knew they exploded somehow and that was good enough for me.  We all needed to be armed Christmas morning.  When everyone opened their stockings, they got a chuckle.  Mike was the first to decide to try them out.  He opened his pack, squeezed a grenade a few times, and threw it towards his mother.

Within seconds, it exploded.  There were shrieks, not so much from the noise (though it had a good explosion sound to it) but from the shrapnel that was left on the floor (liquid and white marks) that got the reaction.  We were suddenly scrambling out to get towels to save the living room rug and hardwood floor.

Who would have known that the hand grenade was loaded with vinegar and baking soda?  Well, maybe someone who read the package, but I certainly hadn’t so it was a surprise to me.  We decided that the living room should be off limits to grenades, so a couple more got tossed in the kitchen … hence the shrapnel marks that didn’t seem to come off the kitchen floor … or the walls.

Apparently, Lily cleaned the floor several times and still there is shrapnel from the war on Christmas morning littering the countryside (I mean, the kitchen).  It was like the Middle East – bombs going off right there in front of the manger scene!  I hope she forgets this one by next Christmas.

Here’s the thing: Reading what’s on a package can really help you make good decisions.  It can also keep you from making poor decisions.  We have God’s Word that can do the same for real life.  Let me suggest that this year we all set a goal to read through the Bible, or at least to regularly read passages of it.

Until Next Time!

Pastor Paul

Question: How do you keep from making poor decisions? Leave your comment below.


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  1. Pingback: Why You Should Think Hard Before Getting A Tattoo | p.s. That's Life!

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